Solid Cat

When in come to Solid Cat, always vote Aye! Finally, we're doing that Ten Things with Val that we've been dancing around for 3 weeks. Is D-mo the Scotland of his office? We have surprisingly full coverage of the Scottish Independence vote (and is D-mo trying to do a Peter Capaldi impersonation?) We have the Ig Nobel prize winners... with fermented sausages. This week's Sexytime deals with accidentally found dildos. From the Dojo asks where our numbers went? It's never too late on this week's Paws Up. You say "It's a life hack," I say "I MacGyver-ed something." If you like a smart discussion about topical subjects, then dial up this "comedy" podcast. We get it. Sometimes we're too clever for our own good; we're Solid Cat!

Solid Cat All-Star Matrice is in the studio for this week's Solid Cat. The innocuous phrase "Stings like the Dickens" leads to a super-sized segment on books and literary classics. D-mo has forgotten more literary classics that most people will ever read. What are our most influential books? The books are ALWAYS better than the movie. Is Stephanie Meyer the most influential author of the early 21st century? (the answer is a resounding YES) Why is NC-17 the kiss of death? Same thing with a G rating. Hey... read to your kids. Penny-farthing! "Do people still do cocaine lines?" D-mo & Val have a relaxing effect on people. And there may be some singing of the Spice Girls. Seriously though, if you like books, you've LOVE this episode of Solid Cat.

Frothy things are always good things, and so is SOLID CAT. This week: did D-mo just compare himself to Mel Torme? "Mistress of Pajamas" really is a boss nickname. What is the Giant Floating Disembodied Head... named Steve? It's Dr. Whoutlander Day, and Val is trying to make that happen. Val is having problems with fingering her apps (wait, what?). There was a lack of Whitesnake jokes where there should have been. The Great Sock Mystery is solved! The world's largest dinosaur is found, and otters are a keystone species (SCIENCE!). Sexytime with D-mo & Val returns... Dutch style. We finish with boobs, boobs, and boobs, and then D-mo gets on his sexy soapbox. Didn't know soapboxes could be sexy? They are on Solid Cat!

On this week's Solid Cat, the show gets taken over by our sister show: Macabre Hour with D-mo & Val. But before donated skulls got us to that point, it was quite the hot mess express. Target & Thai food is a good Saturday night. D-mo went to the gym. Seriously. Val has been consistent with her food logging. Seriously! The show comes to a screeching halt due to a cracked glass. What is Sheeptapus? "Nobody got the whole enchilada?" "Dingoes are Australian coyotes. They didn't call them coyotes because Aussies don't speak Spanish." We have a spirited discussion about Spirited Away. The 8 best running songs. Free cats with every mortgage. But the show really excels under the Macabre Hour bits, featuring D-mo "the Master of Light Beige-ness" and Val "the Mistress of Pajamas." This is Solid Cat... or Macabre Hour?!?!?

Up for an adventure to everywhere and nowhere? Welcome to Solid Cat. Let's lead with Outlander... but let's talk about Assassin's Creed first... and then jump to Twilight (?)... and then on to Outlander. There is a new Doctor Who and he's Scottish. Valerie is too OCD to live in the Big Brother house. Do you need a FaceTime buddy? We're available. Our news is overly-chicken-themed this week, and efficient German justice is doled out. Barnes & Noble graffiti exists. Will D-mo ever do the ice bucket challenge? Chris Pratt has become the fitness icon. The Space Cowboy Kitchen this week is powered by the Outlander Kitchen. We went school supply shopping (hot damn!). D-mo is taking back his desk. We have crickets. Lots of crickets. And wait until Draco's father hears about this. This... being Solid Cat.

On this week's Solid Cat, we go full nerd. But before we do, we talk Medieval cats with flaming backpacks that were actual weaponized felines. Did Weezer create hipsters? Monkey selfies, and side show prohibition. Also is every full moon a supermoon now? However, as this is the Nerdertainment episode, here are the movies/tv shows we reference in today's show: Guardians of the Galaxy; Star Trek; Twilight; Iron Man; Thor; Captain America; Agents of SHIELD; Agent Carter; Arrow; Flash; LEGO Marvel Heroes; Pirate Fairy; Hemlock Grove; Outlander; Deep Space Nine; Battlestar Galactica; X-Men: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers; Chasing Amy; License to Kill; Daredevil; and Dawn of Justice. That's gotta be like a record. I'm not sure, but this is, for sure, Solid Cat.

It's D-mo's 40th Birthday celebration on Solid Cat! We start with Shakespeare and we finish with German Expressionism, but in the middle... we're podcasting in the daytime (shock), Val sounds like a southern belle when off air, and Val is the personification of the Dead Sea. Romeo is a whiny little bitch. Zoe interrupts us, repeatedly. We people watch at the theatre. We talk Wonder Woman, and the Great Alaskan Bush Company. We have hot volleyball players and accident penis amputations. For his birthday, D-mo had a celebratory birthday at Jack in the Box. There is a muscular guy at the pool, and we discuss Howard-Hughes-isms. Val has a hippie mom and a sailor dad. We hit two museums and reference a third. We recite our General Apology, and share some motivational memes. "Why am I slow clapping?" This is Solid Cat.

It's the Season 3 Premiere of Solid Cat. Our hometown of Pico Rivera, California, is the UNDISPUTED World Champion of illegal fireworks. If we can't stop the influx of illegal fireworks, what chance to we have against drugs and guns. Valerie says North Carolina is "Virginia's Mexico." In the World Cup, D-mo asks "How do say, 'taken behind the woodshed,' in Portuguese?" We have an absolute gem about jizz from ESPN's Tommy Smyth. We talk about the real ass-ball-huggy-thingy; it's like a schlong sling. Mel Brooks has ruined D-mo, as he now channels Peter Boyle. We talk about a Bob Hope movie (???). Meat falls off the back of a truck, and we have marble vaginas and bad German accents. Val regales with tales of the sweet melody of cats in heat. We have villains holding koalas and frozen burritos, inspired by Disney's Frozen. And now, we dance - *umtzz*umtzz*umtzz* This is Solid Cat... SEASON THREE!

Solid Cat is orgasmic this week. Why? Well, most people, after sex, they cuddle. What do we do? We podcast! Val is hungover but had the best day ever. We revisit Dave Coulier. We talk international sporting events: first the Quidditch Global Games, and then the World Cup. Did someone find Dracula's grave? D-mo shows an unnatural amount of love for New Mexico, the Land of Enchantment. Finnish babies sleep in cardboard boxes. The Solid Cat audience determine the winner in Levi's vs. Wrangler... or do they? D-mo utters the phrase "ass ball huggy," when the phrase he was looking for was "form-fitting." We talk up French knickers. We bust out some Dole Whip in the Kitchen, as once again, we talk pineapples. We then stumble into some quasi-serious immigration talk, and then stumble into some quasi-legit motivational words (no, not ass ball huggy). This is Solid Cat!

The newly rebranded D-mo "the Spirit of Aloha" joins Val the Space Cowboy on this week's Solid Cat. First up, pineapples. Lot of them. Can't get enough of the King of the Fruits. Val is literally squeezing the juices out of them. We're going to make our own Dole Whip, and the pineapple clock radio has a nasty snooze button. There's a random The Tick reference. The Middle East loves the bosom. "...speaking of Balls-in-Your-Face Johnson" leads to random Balls Mahoney reference. Yes, the ECW wrestler. The Danger Diva says she's fast, but the Flash is faster. Triple Crown sour grapes leads to Horse Racing Chat with D-mo & Val. "I've been on the forefront of bacon love before there was even a bacon bandwagon." The 17 best restaurants names ever. The 10 most impactful movies to the film industry. You should always stay through the movie credits... it's a gold mine of comedy. There is a 6-year-old fight to the death with accompanying music. My Neighbor Totoro has so many unanswered questions. That leads to Mall

Like a leave in the wind, so goes this week's Solid Cat. It was a big day for Val and Zoe. D-mo was a car crash hero, sorta. Val is learning German (kudos to Duolingo). ripped jeans need replacin'. Morgan Freeman returns to the show. We talk about a skin thief, and choking a fox; they're not related. D-mo dishes fashion advice, and hails the importance of having your own tailor. We go from the Shewee to a convo about lady bits. We highlight a top notch Little Mermaid tattoo. It's tiki time in the Space Cowboy Kitchen, and we finish with Reading Rainbow. This is Solid Cat.

On the rambling path that is Solid Cat, you never know where we'll end up. No one could have foreseen the adventures on this week's show. Why do banquet halls have some lousy acoustics. Nothing ruins a day like a 6 year old with strep throat. Valerie the Space Cowboy is the life of the party and everyone loves her. She loves year-old candy canes, she ambidextrous, and likes certain things stuck in her teeth. We visit the Dmo-Valerian stables and talk horses. What happened in 1889 and why do we care? People binge-listen to the podcast. A spoonful of sugar (or artificial flavoring) does help the medicine go down. Val is D-mo's favorite pillow. We find out what isn't Val's favorite. Did "Bosom Buddies" in the 80's lead to social acceptance of transvestitism and transsexualism today? Oh, and then there is Gay Thor. This... is Solid Cat.

We finish with hookers, but we start with lightsabers, again, on this week's Solid Cat. You've got to watch out for nerd posers and militant nerds. "I can feel women's eggs drying up in their ovaries as you speak." Let's talk about the guy that created Wonder Woman; let's just say double fisting is involved. "Making it into puppetry, that's where it went awry." We talk about a killer's love connection. We salute the James Beard Award winners. And they are double-cocking in France. From the Dojo, we talk about pillow fights... for a good 4 minute bit. Sexytime with D-mo and Val returns and we talk porn preferences vs. real-life preferences, and D-mo says "Dead Sea Scrotums." Also returning is Solid Cat Game Night. Chocolate chip cookies should really be the official cookie of the United States. There is a Mariachi Magician, and the greatest goal celebration in soccer, ever. We discuss horn etiquette and turkey gloves. Did we really pack all this into one episode? Yes we did. This is Solid Cat.

Solid Cat's comedy is so organic, you can get it for $12.95 at Whole Foods. On this week's show, we learn that kids love the Force at the Jedi Training Academy. There were lightsabers for everybody at Solid Cat, and be forewarned, them bitches leave bruises. On top of that, we have a Nerd Alert. Dine with us at the New Wave Restaurant and experience the 80's with a Wham! Burger. Mr. Popadick wants to say hello. Saucy Siri returns with a lot of snark and a new poetry slam. Ten Things with Val features museums that shouldn't exist but do. We visit the Boysenberry Festival at Knott's Berry Farm. We make a mind-boggling good hummus dip in the Space Cowboy Kitchen. Our salute to the awesome is truly awesome. And we finish with a bombshell involving pickle chips. You learn something new every day. Especially here. This is Solid Cat!

This is the episode of Solid Cat you'll want to tell your friends about. It's the greatest collection of unscripted and natural tangents and seques collected, and it comes full circle. First off, it's daytime. D-mo is glad we don't have flying cars. Learn the greatest insult ever. Animal husbandry leads to questions about doggie porn, with cameos from Larry the Cable Guy and John Ratzenburger. Hear how a normal horse date would go, and know that everyone needs to have a gelding friend. Val says, "I've seen someone jack off an elephant." We toss a shout out to the #BakerThermometer and the Highway Vibe is a friendly voice on the way to Vegas. We enjoy some car tipping. People are getting engaged at the old ballpark. There is a classy steroids to absinthe segue. Val hates audience participation. In Sexytime, we talk foot fetishs, and then all hell breaks loose. D-mo suggested weird sex acts is like taking a foreign language; not a waste, you learned something new, and found out you're not a fan of it: "It's lik

Like glitter from a stripper that you just can't off you, it's Solid Cat! On tap this week: Can we reschedule April's Fool Day to random days in April? Time-Life Music infomercials are EPIC. Baker Street is the greatest bait-and-switch in musical history. Freddie Mercury is not Zoolander. "That guy makes Mariah Carey look like Cirque du Soleil." Books bound in human skin... or are they? The return of the Solid Cat Movie Review. The Grove in Los Angeles smells like cologne, a lot of it, courtesy the clientele. We review the Cheese Dog from Top Round in the Space Cowboy Kitchen. We tell you where to see celebs in L.A. so you can stop asking us. Things you didn't know where invented by women, and a mysterious Japanese benefactor. This week's episode is packed like a meat bazaar... this is SOLID CAT!

Solid Cat is quaketacular as we rock and roll this week's episode. D-mo woefully botches a historical reference on the Treaty of Versailles. We have a sad case of animal rape, but an uplifting take of the sheep-shearing Olympics. Assassin's Creed makes a return. Visit the website and meet the Solid Cat All-Stars. General Apology Time. Then we enter the "Age of the Celebrity Chef" and take foodie on Vegas and Michelin stars. Apparently chefs err on the side of innovation with fossilized Mongolian horse dung. There are also cupcake vending machines. Solid Cat is proud to be part of Nerdpocalypse. There is a bridal shower recap, a bit of Fair Play, and does Val's hair look like George Washington's? Some days were funny; other days were just chatty. This may be one of those "other" days. But hey, this is Solid Cat.

Solid Cat Podcast straps on the feedbag and eats up on this week's episode. Joined again by Big Daddy Dave, D-mo and Dave recall their visit to Las Vegas where they ate across town. It was quite the culinary tour. In the return of the Space Cowboy Kitchen, D-mo and Val review the Chocolate Cake Shake. We have some frozen hot chocolate. And we talk salsa. A podcast of food excess is bound to be titled "Overindulgence." But wait, there's more. D-mo coughs a lot. Dave got a haircut. Casinos are to homogenized. It's Solid Cat Game Night. Spontaneous humanity happens. And Val wants to be a blacksmith. We wanted everyone to bring their "C" game, and boy did we. This is Solid Cat!

It's raining on this week's Solid Cat. In other news, Val is a would-be novelist, D-mo is a would-be pamphleteer. We discover America's Funniest Home Videos was YouTube, before YouTube was YouTube. "You'll get yours in the parking lot." D-mo blows his nose very loudly, and in public places. Should D-mo go to Vegas with his best friend... and a bunch of college cheerleaders. #JohnSmith Val's animated crush is InuYasha. D-mo can be your personal muse. We talk Guardians of the Galaxy, which transitions to Wonder Woman. D-mo has been advised not to disparage the French in his next gig. Solid Cat Game Night returns, and we talk airport carpets. Because why not? This is Solid Cat!

All cookies, all the time on this week's Solid Cat. Speaking of which, where the hell are the Girl Scout cookies this year? D-mo loves the Samoas, Val loves the Thin Mints. Cookie name changes are stupid, and it feels like everything is a "buddy" now. D-mo drops a bold Oscar prediction, and gives you the best way to win your Oscar office pool. Why is Siri harping on Enchanted? On our Olympic wrap-up, it's become passe to rag on NBC's coverage, but we do it anyway. Val goes off on subpar parents. Trashy news about trash. CHIVAS IS DEAD!!! Ten Common, but Wrong, Science Myths. From the Dojo features sleep and ostriches. "That's the sound of my iPad hitting my face." A little anime corner, as D-mo loves Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex. We talk a little Colorado marijuana. And at the end, D-mo Bobby Browns the podcast. Oh my!