The Dating Den

Marni welcomes Crystal Ware to Life Check Yourself where the duo discusses what it means to become the best version of yourself in life, love, and business. Crystal is a former Fortune 500 corporate leader and attorney who realized she wanted more out of life. She quit her job and became an entrepreneur and started her own podcast to help women take charge of their lives. And it all begins with removing the limiting belief that you do not have a choice and getting clear on your vision.    Takeaways from this episode:  - How to break free from excuses  - Get clear on your vision  - How to find that freedom   Are You in a Vicious Cycle? [07:10] Are you strong enough? Are you smart enough? These are the questions that usually pull a person back into a cycle that they have been trying to get out of, or rather that they know they want to get out of. Fear. Fear in all its forms, fear of rejection, fear of judgment keep you spiraling in that loop. It’s almost like a constant vicious cycle that prevents you from gett

Marni welcomes Veronica Amaya in the Life Check Yourself studio, where they discuss how to elevate your relationship game and communicate with your partner in a way to get them to listen. Veronica is a relationship and dating coach, and the founder of the Conscious Relationship School. She has helped thousands of women and men overcome dating anxiety and break unhealthy relationship patterns.    Takeaways from this episode:  - Men are team players  - You attract what you believe  - How to communicate softly   Leave Your Judgment at the Door [05:15] Sometimes, the blame that women attribute to men stems from a place of self-protection and self-preservation. However, when you date with these negative stereotypes about men living in the back of your mind, you end up interpreting everything your partner does through that lens.  You also end up attracting the type of person you fear most. If you believe a certain thing then you’re going to have that experience. We have to look at how you create those new beliefs t

Marni welcomes Silvia Quintella in the Life Check Yourself studio, where they discuss how to clear your path of energy you’ve been holding onto from previous experiences to begin embracing your authentic self. Silvia is an entrepreneur and a certified transformational life coach who has found her passion in energy healing and helping others. She’s guided many women in their journey towards finding their authentic selves and following their intuition.   Takeaways from this episode:  - Find safety in your authenticity  - How to get to the root cause  - Disconnect from that ex   Release That Energy…it’s Holding you Back [06:03] Coming out of a relationship or a divorce can leave us feeling emotionally imbalanced and energetically depleted. As women move towards middle age, it is particularly questions like, “Will I fall in love again?”, “Am I lovable enough?” that start plaguing them.  However, it’s vital to release the energetic force that they’ve carried during and as a result of that former relationship, or i

Marni welcomes Frank E Legette III in the Life Check Yourself studio, where they discuss the most common mistakes women make when it comes to relationships and how to improve said relationships, or rather how to know if it’s time to call it quits. Frank is a life coach for women, a pastor and author of the book, The Art of Womanhood. He’s been providing guidance for single women who are looking for a loving relationship for years and empowering them to leave toxic relationships and find their happiness.  Takeaways from this episode:  - Don’t chase him   - How to keep the power  - What is he working for?    Don’t Put him in the Driver’s Seat [15:03] Using a metaphor, Frank explains that when in a car ride, it is the driver that determines the speed and the direction of the journey. Similarly, in a relationship, it is the driver that is the pursued and the passenger that is the pursuer. Following that logic, one of the main mistakes women make is that they put the man in the driver seat of the relationship befo

Marni welcomes Aaron Johnson to the Life Check Yourself studio where they discuss the importance of feeling your feels. The duo delves into the ways in which to hold that space for someone who might not have been socialized into expressing themselves in a healthy manner. Aaron is the co-founder of Holistic Resistance and Grief to Action where he works to help facilitate the healing process for men, particularly within BIPOC communities. How does one heal trauma and process it in a healthy way? And where do we start?    Takeaways from this episode:  - Why crying is a necessary release  - What is tender platonic touching?  - How to feel your feels   Platonic Touching [08:40] In the exceedingly masculine culture that is America, many men suffer from what Aaron has termed being “chronically under-touched.” What that means is that they did not have enough tender platonic touching growing up. And this manifests in a certain way in one’s adult life.  Tenderness for men, with men, lands in our body initially as viole

Marni welcomes Mick Heyman to the Life Check Studio where they discuss sound money management. The duo delves into how to manage your finances while staying mellow. Mick is the CFA and founder of Heyman Investments and has been working in wealth investments for over 40 years. A lot of people struggle when it comes to growing and organizing their wealth which inevitably leads to stress. But what are actually the best practices? And where does one start? More importantly how do we deal with our finances while still retaining our chill?  Takeaways from this episode:  - How to stay mellow  - Don’t completely listen to the headlines  - Look back to understand   Examine Your Own Emotions [12:06] Every single person is unique. What one person can handle; another might not be able to. So, when making certain financial decisions, look at your own emotions and assess what risks you are able to take. It’s equally important to bear in mind that regardless of how much you prepare, surprises will occur. And when they do, y

In this new series of Life Check Yourself, Marni divulges the tips and tricks for professional, successful women to optimize the big work, big life balance. In this episode, the life coach discusses what to do when you feel stuck, whether it’s at work, in a relationship, or in a personal project. Many women feel frustrated when they find themselves unable to achieve a certain goal, and the advice given to them is to work harder. But what if that is not the right advice? In this episode Marni delves into why strategy isn’t the be all and end all of achieving your dreams. It is more about mastering your inner game.    Takeaways from this episode: - Why overworking yourself is not the answer - Stop Trusting the external - Have you been asking yourself the wrong questions?   Why Aren’t the Results Matching Your Intentions? [00:20] On a professional, as well as a personal level, many women end up feeling frustrated after having put in so much effort and so much of themselves into a certain goal that didn’t yield t

Marni welcomes Kim DeYoung in the Life Check Yourself studio, where they discuss the fear that comes with making choices. The duo delve into the ways with which to overcome that indecision that paralyzes a lot of men and women when faced with an important decision. Kim is an entrepreneur, choice coach, and the author of The Book of Choice. She has had over two decades of experience in helping entrepreneurs and individuals make meaningful choices that help them bring their ideas and dreams to life.    Takeaways from this episode:  - Let go of fear  - A lot of it is about consciousness   - What is the choice mapping process?   You Control All Your Choices [06:55] Everybody has to make choices. It's unavoidable, and we’re making thousands of them a day whether we realize it or not. It is important to realize that you have agency and control over your choices. Even when it is something that is out of your control, your agency lies in how you choose to react to it. The key is to find where in that choice you actua

Marni welcomes Arielle Ford in the Life Check Yourself studio where they discuss love, betrayal, revenge and healing. Arielle Ford is a celebrated relationship and love expert; she has written over ten non-fiction books. For her most recent novel, The Love Thief, which is fiction, the author draws from real-life experiences to breathe life into her characters who find themselves in situations that mimic real life. The duo discusses why women fall for certain types of men and how these men get into their heads. How do these smart women end up getting hurt despite knowing better? What does it mean to feel the sting of betrayal? Most people have felt it but not everyone has drawn a lesson out of it. Sometimes it takes a few betrayals to get closer to differentiating between what is love and what isn’t. There is light at the end of the tunnel and that light will help guide you to the right one if you give yourself the chance.    Takeaways from this episode:  - Don’t Overlook the Red Flags  - Falling in love is li

Marni welcomes Kalyn Romaine in the Life Check Yourself studio, where they discuss achieving innovative results while still maintaining integrity and compassion. Kalyn is an entrepreneur and an organizational psychologist who empowers individuals to reach their dream careers. The duo talks about what it means to trust your intuition and follow the breadcrumbs to achieve your dream goals.  Takeaways from this episode: Don’t personalize it  Distractions hinder you What is nice nasty?   Resilience is Key [11:31] Resilience is needed to build courage and to hear your intuition. The experience of getting to where you need to be will have ups and downs. But not giving up is key. Most people don’t realize that resilience is necessary. It is what gets you to the very end; it’s what helps you build the strength you need.  Resilience is allowing something to get beat up so that it can be stronger and grow.    Finding Your Identity [19:02] Most women, and especially black women, describe their business as a side

Marni welcomes Jamie Cannon in the Life Check Yourself studio, where they discuss how to recognize a narcissistic personality, what the tell-tale signs of a murky relationship are and how to get out of it. Jamie is a writer who focuses on trauma, anxiety and grief. She’s worked on empowering women particularly victims of abuse and domestic violence survivors.    Takeaways from this episode:  - Trust your instincts  - Know the signs  - How to recognize love bombing   Recognizing the Signs [04:02] There is this misconception that associates being stuck in an abusive relationship with a lack of education. However, it can happen to anyone.  A lot of educated women fall either for narcissists or with personalities that have narcissistic tendencies. In the beginning of a relationship, the person they are attracted to either hides these tendencies or uses very sophisticated manipulation techniques.  Moreover, sometimes when a woman is adamant on what she wants, which is to settle down and build a future, it’s easy t

Marni welcomes Dr. Sarah Hill in the Life Check Yourself studio, where they discuss a myriad of topics including how hormones affect your identity and how you can stay sexy regardless of age. Dr. Sarah is an award-winning research psychologist and professor with an expertise in women, health, and sexual psychology. She was also featured in the Netflix documentary, The Principles of Pleasure and is a consultant for the dating site, Cougar Life. Takeaways from this episode:  - How do your hormones affect your identity?  - Inner beauty is sexy  - Is taking hormones bad for you?   It’s not you, it’s your hormones [01:50] Hormones not only affect our bodies, but our psyche as well. The hormonal transitions that women go through, which span from puberty to menopause and everything in between, have a cascading effect on their entire body including how they experience the world, and the ways in which they think and feel. Hormones can also cause an identity crisis because they are a part of what our brain uses to crea

Marni welcomes Polina Solda in the Life Check Yourself studio, where they discuss how to find a partner that is just your type. Polina is the founder and CEO of Love by Design and podcast host of Find the Right man. Using a personality test called Eniostyle, Polina helps clients find their perfect match, that is the type that is most compatible with their personality. In this episode, Marni and Polina talk about the reasons why certain relationships might work out and others might not. Breaking down the Eniostyle personality typing system, the duo delve into what it means to be categorized as one type or the other, and how that can guide you in your search for the one.    Takeaways from this episode:  - A couple should be different but complementary  - What’s your personality type?  - How to find the type that’s most compatible with you  - Your thoughts create your feelings  - How to train your brain  - Know who you are   It’s Not Him; It’s His Personality Type (And Yours) [03:13] Some matches are made in hea

Marni welcome Jourdan Travers, licensed clinical social worker and specialist in treating anxiety, mood, substance abuse, and personality disorders to the Life Check Yourself studio, where they look into where our feelings of unworthiness stem from; what we’re running away from; and how we can start fixing those detrimental patterns that we’ve carried with us throughout our lives. When it comes to assessing our patterns, we need to first notice them. Once we have, we can begin to understand them while also accepting certain realities. That is when we begin to transform. A crucial part of healing and moving forward is acceptance. Looking into that – without invalidating your own emotions – will help bring clarity to other areas in your life. The duo discusses the notion of change, and the instinctive human reaction to avoid it. However, in avoiding it, we end up creating more discomfort.    Takeaways from this episode:  - How to manage your emotions  - When do you feel like you’re not enough?  - How to recogni

Marni and Chris dive into the finale of reality show, Love is Blind, to analyze where it all went wrong for some of the couples; where it all went right for others; and what lessons can be gleaned from these relationships. The duo look into how to navigate a break-up with grace and dignity, and how to show up in a manner that matches your energy. As these couples go through the ups and downs of dating, much of their behavior mirrors our own IRL. From the heartaches to the make-ups, Marni and Chris break it down by observing the contestants’ actions with each other on the show. What is the energy you’re putting out? How to find freedom from your past? And should you give second chances?   Takeaways from this episode:  - Don’t seek council from your single friends  - It’s about your energy  - How to breakup with grace  - Be dignified  - How to accept the person in front of you  - Flexibility in a relationship   Ditch the Mean Girl Vibes [01:35] Ditch the mean girl attitude. Firstly, because it’s not a good colo

Marni and Chris dive into the dynamics of relationships between the contestants on the reality series, Love is Blind, to shed light on our behavior in the dating world. The duo looks into everything from how to handle the tough conversations to how far you should push your partner on certain issues. We all have insecurities when it comes to dating, and finding your person is a difficult trek that requires nuance in the way you handle your interactions. Dating is about learning about yourself as well as other people, and how to navigate your interpersonal relations with them. In looking at the interactions between the contestants on the show, lessons can be gleaned and applied within our own personal lives. Their insecurities, their faux-pas; and their actions, all mimic our own behavior in real life.    Takeaways from this episode:  - How to communicate in an argument   - Don’t Pepe Le Pew him   - Love, alone, is not enough  - Be confident in your choices  - How to handle the timeline on the conversation  - D

Marni welcomes Frieda Birnbaum, research psychologist, psychotherapist and published author, to the Life Check Yourself studio, to look into why committed relationships and marriages fall apart, and how to prevent that. While a financial prenup is the norm, what is necessary is an emotional prenup. Where one prenup alludes to the possible failure of the commitment, the other one ensures its success. The duo talks about what it actually means to be committed and married to someone, and look into the details of the vows you make to each other. How do these vows and promises translate into real life? What does it actually mean to honor your partner? Part of the process is identifying and understanding yourself. It is by doing so, that you can set boundaries and agree on certain things, as part of your emotional prenup, before taking that step.    Takeaways from this episode:  - How to shift your perspective   - How to merge your masculine with your feminine  - You’re the only one holding you back  - Age really i

Marni and Chris look at the budding and failing relationships in reality series, Love is Blind, to glean the lessons that can be taken and applied when dating IRL. Looking at the different archetypes that the contestants represent, the duo dissect the situations on the series to answer questions we’ve all had when out in the jungle that is the dating world. The behavioral patterns we all exhibit, at one point or another, are mimicked in the actions of these contestants as they navigate their interpersonal relationships. From the girl who keeps falling for the same toxic guy, to the guy who stays and never gives up, to the girl who lets her mean- girl friends dictate the qualifications of her boyfriend. It’s a trap we’ve all fallen into, and sometimes still do.    Takeaways from this episode:  - Don’t be an enabler  - How sweet is too sweet?   - Don’t mistake the storytelling for a connection  - What’s trauma bonding?  - He’s a good communicator   - Vulnerability has several stages   Getting Real is Scary [07:

Marni welcomes author, educator and TEDx speaker, Nancy Sokol Green, to the Life Check Yourself Studio, where they discuss the physical and internal mechanisms that affect our actions and by extension, our behavior in relationships. The duo talks about what it means to look at our foundations with the intent to start fixing. Our behaviors are a result of an underdeveloped lower brain. But what does that mean? It means that, for some, automatic body functions that are supposed to be fully developed are not, which goes on to dictate much of the way they act externally. Nancy dives into the details behind these functions and their influence on us. But, ultimately, to change, it takes going back to basics, back to our foundations.    Takeaways from this episode:  - How to change the biology reaction in your patterns  - Fixing the Foundations  - How is your lower brain impacting your actions?  - If it’s not there internally, it won’t be there externally  - Why can’t you forgive?  - How to develop your lower brain

Marni and Chris dive into the fourth season of reality series, Love is Blind, to take a look at what goes on behind the scenes of the dating world by contemplating the contestants’ behavior. The duo discusses what it means to be attracted to a certain archetype and how that reflects on you. Dating comes with its own set of etiquette, and sometimes it’s confusing, especially when you find yourself in that grey area between casually dating and being exclusive. Questions as to how to handle it surface. What situation warrants jealousy? When should you talk to the person about? Which partner should you pick? How do you navigate your significant other flirting with someone else? The questions are endless, but Marni and Chris take the example of couples on-screen to unpack all the answers.   Takeaways from this episode:  - Don’t fall in love with potential  - How to date from a place of confidence  - Stand up for your self-worth  - What you need vs what you want  - How to figure out your type  - Be honest with your