The Dating Den

Life Check Yourself 436 –  How to Navigate the world of relationship and dating when you’re neurodivergent with Jeremy Hamburg and Ilana Frank   Marni welcomes Friendship and Dating coaches, Jeremy Hamburg and Ilana Frank. Having worked for years towards creating strategies that empower autistic and neurodivergent adults, Jeremy and Llana give in-depth insight on the dating world. The duo has come up with a program, dubbed Social Life 360, that teaches clients to confidently meet new people. In this conversation, they touch on our basic need to connect as humans and what that really means. They delve into the struggles faced when dating and making friends as a neurodivergent person. Much of the advice is applicable to people across the board.     *         How to open your mind *         Why is timing important? *         The Impact of words   Are You Rigid? [11:10]   This rigidity in thinking when it comes to dating is not just limited to neurodivergent individuals. It is something we are all guilty of. And

Marni welcomes transformational speaker and relationship coach, Stephen Muiriri to the Life Check Yourself studio where the duo discusses why women feel trapped in certain relationships and how to overcome that feeling and find their authentic value. Stephen has helped thousands of women overcome dating challenges and find true love. In this conversation, he talks about the importance of finding your value and harnessing that energy to communicate it to yourself and those around you. And that value isn’t just limited to the physical, it is much deeper than that. What do you stand for? What are your values? What are your principles? That is where the beauty really is.      How to let go of the past    Rediscover yourself    Take a step back and reassess   The Sum Cost Policy [06:47]   When you continue to invest in something that is failing, the cost starts outweighing the benefits in your mind. And that’s where the challenge lies. It’s what keeps you there despite knowing better.   They think about wh

Marni welcomes one of her clients, Rebecca Purnell to the Life Check Yourself studio. Rebecca shares how she found love. Having had a fulfilling career and what she describes as a great life, she felt something was missing: she couldn’t find her person. Rebecca explains the journey she went through to find her person and the lessons that she learnt along the way. How to date on online apps? Who deserves a second chance and who doesn’t? are just a few of the questions that Marni and Rebecca discuss as they delve into the details of a love story in the digital age.            Take a step back          Ask yourself the right questions          Be curious   Define it then Tear it Down [09:52]   It’s important to look into what are the factors in your past that have created that wall around you. Before tearing it down, you must first define it. When you look into the reasons behind some of your actions, it empowers you to solve them and move forward.   When you just take a pause and find a safe containe

Marni welcomes strategic dating coach, also known as the OG of online dating, Mike Goldstein in the Life Check Yourself studio, where the duo dive into the male perspective of dating and what men are actually looking for when it comes to a partner. What makes them tick? How do they date? Men, like women, are looking for a safe space where they can be themselves. But what does that actually mean? Their conversation touches on cornerstones of what it means to be in a relationship and how to get there. How to be his safe space Speak your mind How to date right   What Does He Really Want?  [16:30]   Men want to feel needed, appreciated, and accepted. They want to show their partner off. But for each man, the definition of that varies. And that definition evolves with age as men start to look at what they really want in a life partner.   So then it’s still showing off, but it becomes less vain. And it’s what would really feel good if a woman has these amazing qualities.   Don’t be the Competition, Be the P

Marni welcomes award-winning podcast host and author Damona Hoffman to the Life Check Yourself Studio, where the duo takes a deep dive into what the dating scene looks like today and what are some of the myths that need to be debunked. They delve into the importance of forging genuine connections by slowing down and reflecting on our dating beliefs. Touching on some of the misleading notions that many of us need to dismantle like the chemistry myth or the soulmate myth, the conversation serves as a new-age manifesto for how to make dating more hopeful and authentic.    Take a good, hard look at your dating beliefs How to rewrite your own love stories How to show up with intention    F the Fairytale  [10:09]   While it may not be evident, the way we date is passed down from generation to generation. That is, the dos and the don’ts, the etiquette and all that comes with the courting stage. Take a good hard look at your dating beliefs and question them. Why can’t you send the first message? Why can’t you

Marni welcomes well-being life coach, trainer and consultant Jamie Heberlein where the duo discuss how to eliminate anxieties when it comes to dating. Having been through it herself, Jamie shares nuggets of wisdom in the form of tips that helped her break free from expectations, pressure, and disappointment when it comes to dating. Part of it is learning that one person’s reaction or action is not a negative reflection of you as a person.   ·         Transformation through self-compassion ·         How to balance your approach to life ·         Getting rid of external validation   Are You Forcing it? [10:34]   With the whole manifestation trend, it’s a thin line separating between actually putting that energy out there and obsessing over it. It’s a trap many women fall into, which only ends up making them feel worse about themselves. What happens is that you put yourself down when what you had in mind doesn’t manifest in the way you wanted.   I start going negative. So, it really helped change my mind set to

Marni welcomes growth strategist and consultant, Julie Pryor to the Life Check Yourself studio, where the duo discuss how to switch your mindset in a way to make it work in your favor. They reflect on the importance of accountability and that of the words we tell ourselves. Speaking about what it takes to build an impactful brand and the lessons gleaned from her experiences, Julie’s method isn’t just about the numbers.   ·         How to create your own results ·         Trust yourself ·         How to hold yourself accountable   Shifting Your Mindset [12:34]   You need to embrace all the things that make you you rather than looking for validation externally. You’re not the victim, you’re the architect of your own life. That is, things are not happening to you; they’re happening for you.   The process is about having the courage to make new choices, having the courage to ask for help, just having the courage to look within.     New Level, New Devil [19:20]   There’s this common misconception that many people

Marni welcomes power couple Mali Apple and Joe Dunn to the Life Check Yourself studio, where the trio discuss what it means to deal with jealousy in relationships. They reflect on the importance of communication and addressing the root cause of these feelings. How do past experiences and social influences play a role in breeding feelings of jealousy? Mali and Joe are award-winning authors, coaches, and best friends.    How to have an open conversation  Don’t be impulsive What is rational jealousy?    Jealousy PTSD and Impulse Control [08:19]   There is rational and irrational jealousy. Sometimes the reason we have feelings of jealousy with a partner has nothing to do with them, and everything to do with our own past experiences. The first step, however, is to do nothing. Don’t act on impulse.    You’ve got to give yourself some time to breathe and take a look at where it’s coming from, where it’s actually coming from.    Why Are You Jealous? [14:27]   It’s important to do some self-reflection as to wh

Marni welcomes Rachel Russo to the Life Check Yourself studio, where they discuss what it means to find your person and the importance of aligning lifestyle and vision for the success of your relationship. Rachel has been working with people to help them find love for almost 18 years. The matchmaker, and dating and relationship coach has a long history in the industry and she’s got a few gems to share on what it means to have a healthy relationship with the right partner.    What’s the deal with age gaps? He might not be what you’re looking for  Do you have core compatibility?   It Starts with You [12:00]   It’s vital for you to know yourself before venturing out on the dating scene. What that means is that you need to figure out what is important for you, what your values are and how it is you want to spend your life.    What they really need is core compatibility on how they want to live and how they want to be in a relationship.    There Is Someone For Everyone [21:28]   No matter what your situati

Marni welcomes Heather Leick to the Life Check Yourself studio for a coaching session. Leick’s objective is to get through feelings of imposter syndrome. Heather is someone who reinvented her life after getting out of an abusive relationship and leaving a job she didn’t love to pursue one that she does. The duo discusses imposter syndrome, habit of self-sabotage and Leick’s difficulty when it comes to expressing herself.   ·         Why do you hide yourself? ·         Where does your self-sabotaging stem from? ·         What’s your central thread?   Feelings of Belonging are Natural [07:27]   Everybody wants to belong. It’s natural to feel nervous when you’re introducing yourself or presenting yourself to a group of new people. It’s normal to want to be picked and liked.   If you didn’t have that self-doubt, what would that look and feel like?   Self-Sabotage Happens on Different Levels [08:59]   When you hide a part of yourself, it’s a draining on the long run. Partial expression of yourself is not sustainab

Marni welcomes Evan Marc Katz to the Life Check Yourself studio where the duo delves into what dating looks like today and how to navigate it. Why do women keep falling into the same patterns? How do you tap into your feelings? Evan is a dating coach that has helped over 13 thousand women from all over the world. Having written 4 books, he is also a successful podcast host. In tackling the topic of dating at all ages, Evan explains what it means to find your person. It’s not just about the mantras but setting an action plan.   ·         Stay in the game ·         Seek consciousness and intention ·         How to be strong universally   Stop Focusing on Landing the Man [10:00]   We always think of dating as an accomplishment. Women tend to focus on landing the man rather than looking at how they feel. Face your emotions. Ask yourself how you feel within the relationship. It’s not about the man looking good on paper, it’s about the connection that is meant to come with that.   Do I feel safe, heard, and underst

Marni Marni welcomes Dr.Diane Mueller to the Life Check Yourself studio where the duo discusses sexual health, intimacy and how to get your sexy back. Dr.Diane is a podcast host who’s helped many women reclaim their vitality and jumpstart their libido. She also holds a doctorate in naturopathic medicine. Women often forget the importance of sex and the nuances that come with that kind of intimacy. However, sexual intimacy is one of the pillars for a good healthy life.    How does stress affect your sex drive? Sex is a foundation of health Why you should care about your libido    It’s All in the Hormones, Baby [08:01]   Stress affects men and women differently when it comes to their sex drive. Similarly, the hormones released by men and by women after being intimate have a different effect on each gender. Whereas men release vasopressin, which allows them to then become focused, women release oxytocin, which gives them the urge to be held.    What happens with stress is that stress will actually turn d

Marni welcomes Laura Foster to the Life Check Yourself where the duo discusses what it means to be in alignment with your true self by un-programming yourself. Laura has been helping women through her movement Soul Healing Humanity, and through her technique Holistic Scaffolding, to unpack their bullshit and leave it behind. The maverick, who decided to cut the bullshit out of her own life, guides her clients into doing the same and finding a massive makeshift in their physical, mental, and spiritual well-being.    How to cut the bullshit Stop the distractions Be there for you   Is Your Unhappiness Seeping through? [04:40]   It seems evident but looking at your happiness, or lack thereof, is the first indicator of whether you need to make a change or not. And sometimes, you might not even know that you’re unhappy. While things might look great on the outside, and you’ve ticked all the boxes for what a successful happy life looks like, what’s underneath is what counts more.    When I’d stop all the doi

Marni welcomes Gillian Pothier to the Life Check Yourself studio where the duo dissects what masculine energy and maleness actually mean. Gillian is a writer, a teacher, and a mentor who has helped women create fulfilling lifelong relationships with the men in their lives. And that extends to their romantic partners, their brothers, and their fathers. Her work centers around what becomes possible when you understand masculine and feminine energy.    We need to talk about dad How to get right with the nature of maleness Is it time to reclaim the source of patriarchy?    Going Back to Basics [03:35]   If you’re to start fixing or developing the masculine relationships in your lives, you need to look at the source code, the first template. And that’s the father figure. Women need to look back at what’s inside their systems because we project these same wounds unconsciously over and over again.    If we’re talking about a path of repair with men in the masculine, in our lives, we have to look at the OG. 

Marni welcomes Marie Garvey to the Life Check Yourself studio where the duo talks about what it means for a woman to find her own voice and be in her own power, proudly. Marie is an entrepreneur, a motivational speaker and an executive and life coach who has empowered women to find success while being present in their power. From a young age, women are programmed into the good girl mentality. Marie helps them break free of that to become who they are meant to be today rather than who those around them have defined them as.    Our worth isn’t in other people’s hands How to stop being uncomfortable with conflict It’s a good girl rebellion    What Happens to the Good Girl? [07:52]   The Good Girl mentality breeds a form of constant expectations where you're always waiting to get a pat on the back or to be commended for doing the right thing. But the danger with that is what happens when you don’t get that pat on the back or the recognition for having been a “good.” And that usually results in women worki

Marni welcomes Shyama Mathews to The Life Check Yourself where the duo discusses what it means to go through menopause and how to handle the changes your body is experiencing. Shyama is a gynecologist who is trained in minimal invasive gynecology surgery as well as a certified menopause specialist.  She has helped women navigate their families and careers while enhancing their quality of life. In tackling the topic of menopause, Marni and Shyama agree that it isn’t something that is discussed enough, and it’s important to bear in mind that different women experience it differently. The transition, which has both mental and physical symptoms, is a subject that needs to gain more traction as it affects all women at some point.    Menopause isn’t the big bad wolf Not everyone experiences it in the same way How to seek the right information on menopause   Does Our Fear Stem From Misinformation [09:36]   Menopause isn’t a topic typically discussed in the media. The information surrounding menopause and wha

Marni welcomes Leah Van Dolder to The Life Check Yourself where the duo discusses our relationship with food, perfectionism, and the line that separates success from failure. Leah is a mindset coach who has helped thousands of clients hit their weight goal while simultaneously leveling up their confidence and their energy, as well as achieving a stronger sense of self. Women often set high expectations for themselves, and while that might be good in a lot of cases, it can also be destructive when too much expectation is placed on a certain goal.    How to achieve your goal sustainably The key is achievable goals How to have that wake-up call    Allow Yourself to be Human [06:26]   Your mindset should be taking it one step at a time. Don’t overwhelm yourself because that is not sustainable and will not get you to where you need to be. Rather than jump all in with unrealistic expectations, break up your goal into achievable steps. You are human, so allow yourself room for error.    What are those daily

Marni welcomes Naketa Ren to The Life Check Yourself where the duo talks about balancing life, love, and success as well as learning how to take pauses when you need them. Naketa is a podcast host, author, and the number one balance and relationship advisor globally. The powerhouse helps clients find that work-life balance, build a sustainable successful business while also prioritizing mental health and personal relationships. And it all starts with knowing when to slow down, and how to do it.    Give yourself permission to slow down  How to be mindful How to leave an imprint on the world   The Multigenerational Imprint [10:17]   The multigenerational imprint that you leave on this planet begins with yourself. It stems from showing up as an individual that honors authenticity, transparency, and kindness. It’s by practicing all those qualities with yourself that you can then share them with others. Be kind to yourself, be transparent with yourself and be authentic and honest when looking inwards.    A

Marni welcomes Dr.Ken Druck to the Life Check Yourself where the duo discusses how to heal from loss and use it to become a better version of yourself. Dr.Ken is a best-selling author who has coached leaders both in business and in government. Having gone through the tragic loss of his daughter Jenna, Dr.Ken managed to develop groundbreaking work that has helped bereaved families and taught people how to recuperate from life’s biggest losses.   - How do you go on?  - Putting your hand on your heart  - How to calibrate the plan   What Now? [06:50] Move from harsh criticism to kind self-compassion. What you tell yourself is important, particularly after a loss. The narrative that you tell yourself is what will determine whether you’ll lift yourself up or whether you’ll sink and miss a potential opportunity to grow.    Of course, you don’t know what to do. How could you? You this is all new. How could you not feel fearful?   Begin by Learning [16:21] The first step starts with you. To be compassionate with other

Marni welcomes Crystal Ware to Life Check Yourself where the duo discusses what it means to become the best version of yourself in life, love, and business. Crystal is a former Fortune 500 corporate leader and attorney who realized she wanted more out of life. She quit her job and became an entrepreneur and started her own podcast to help women take charge of their lives. And it all begins with removing the limiting belief that you do not have a choice and getting clear on your vision.    Takeaways from this episode:  - How to break free from excuses  - Get clear on your vision  - How to find that freedom   Are You in a Vicious Cycle? [07:10] Are you strong enough? Are you smart enough? These are the questions that usually pull a person back into a cycle that they have been trying to get out of, or rather that they know they want to get out of. Fear. Fear in all its forms, fear of rejection, fear of judgment keep you spiraling in that loop. It’s almost like a constant vicious cycle that prevents you from gett