Divorce Source Radio

(Listener Note: This is Episode #10 of this twelve-part series. To take full advantage of this please visit our show archive and listen to the episodes in their proper order). Step 10 discusses trust and tuning inward to access one of the greatest resources we have - our own inner, intuitive guidance and wisdom. There are people in our lives that we turn to for guidance and wisdom when we are faced with uncertainty and important decisions. This is very valuable. AND there are so many times when we hear another’s advice and know it’s just not right for us. There’s no one who knows more about you, your situation, your values, your strengths and vulnerabilities than YOU. Wouldn’t it be great to know that you have inside you all the resources and wisdom you need to come up with the best course of action to take in any situation? The key lies in accessing more of your discernment process than the logical mind or gathering more and more data points. Join us as we consider our intuition, what it is, how it shows up,

Narcissism used to be recognized as a mental disorder, according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, or DMS, Manual.  In the revised DMS-Five edition, narcissism will no longer be considered a mental disorder, prompting the question, "If my ex isn't a certifiable narcissist, is he/she just an asshole?" Are these labels one and the same? Dr. Banschick breaks it down for us and explains narcissism as we once knew it. He then explains how one may not be a narcissist, but rather, a selfish, self-centered asshole.  If you think you have been dealing with this type of person, this is a show for you. For more information on Dr. Banschick, visit: www.TheIntelligentDivorce.com.

In this episode, we discuss divorce from a man's point of view and our guest is David Pisarra, Esq., the founder and president of the Santa Monica, CA-based law office Pisarra and Grist as well as Men’s Family Law and www.MensFamilyLaw.com established specifically for men to receive expert legal representation in divorce and custody proceedings while providing support programs and counseling designed to address their particular needs. Topics in the program include: 4-Steps to protect yourself during your divorce Domestic violence accusations How to improve your chance of receiving equal custody of your children Dealing with anger and moving on with your life And much more.

Divorce is a stressful and unsettling situation. At minimum, a major relationship is ending, all sorts of your normal routines are upset, and along with the stress of transition are the legal hoops we have to jump through before things can be resolved. There are also volatile emotions that are frequently associated with divorce.  Add all of these this together -  and you have a difficult situation to deal with. In today's program we feature issues that women face during a divorce and our guest is Dennis Zamplas, founder of The Law Firm of Victoria, dedicated to representing women only in divorce and other family law matters. Topics in the program include: Do men have an advantage over women in divorce Does it matter who files for divorce first? Can the wife move out of the house with her kids before the divorce is final? Is it possible to have the husband ordered out of the home? If the husband has existing debt, will that debt be shared with the wife after divorce Child custody and parent

  (Listener Note: This is Step #9 of this 12 step series. To take full advantage of this please visit our show archive and listen to the episodes in their proper order). It is normal to feel hurt, anger, blame and resentment while going through divorce.  It is a devastating and traumatic transition, one that we all resist and that no one escapes without experiencing these painful feelings at some point in the process.  Karen McMahon and Karen Basmagy discuss the pitfalls of living in resistance and the benefits of learning to accept what is. When we feel stuck and overwhelmed, it is a red flag that we are resisting what is happening to our lives.  It sounds something like, “This isn’t happening!”, “I can’t believe s/he is doing this!”, “It wasn’t supposed to be this way!”, “This is all my/his/her fault”.  When we are in resistance, we remain stuck in blame and disbelief and unable to move forward.  We unable to see our part in our dissolving marriage and unwilling to consider the possibility in life after div

Is it possible to remain happy as you face one of the most challenging times in your life?    Our guest, Susan Pease Gadoua is the founder and Executive Director of the Transition Institute of Marin, specializing in meeting the needs of separating and divorcing men and women. We explore the importance of understanding your own needs, how to find your happiness, and the meaning of loving yourself.  It’s an enlightening and engaging conversation, tune in to learn how to find the power of happiness. Topics in this program include: The meaning of happiness What it means to love yourself, to be open to loving and healthy relationships Preparing yourself emotionally for a great relationship Why people get stuck in relationship traps – and being with the same personality type Avoiding the relationship trap mistakes and downfalls The risk of a rebound relationship

Tug of War A Judge’s Verdict on Separation, Custody Battles, and the Bitter Realities of Family Court There are many myths and misconceptions about what goes on in a Court Room.  When it comes to justice, all too often couples are disappointed by the outcome – and end up with large legal bills, family drama which causes an all out war, and a resolution that leaves couples disillusioned.  Our guest, Justice Harvey Brownstone, a sitting court judge, best-selling author, and host of Family Matters TV (http://www.familymatterstv.com/); helps us understand what really goes on inside the court room, and a judge’s mind.  Justice Brownstone has been called  a maverick judge who is a pioneer that is unilaterally changing the public image of the judiciary.  This honest and thought provoking interview will change the way you think about litigation, and how you work through the divorce process. We are fortunate to have Justice Brownstone share his thoughts and enlighten listeners as to what really goes on in Court, and w

Toni and Steve are back together after a 5-year break.  Unfortunately, Steve has a cold, but that doesn't stop the duo from getting their new show off the ground.   More great shows to follow.  

(Listener Note: This is Step #8 of this 12 step series. To take full advantage of this please visit our show archive and listen to the episodes in their proper order). Divorce is a time of upheaval and chaos.  Life as you’ve known it is changing daily in ways small and large.  You are responsible for many to do’s to manage the change. Exactly where all this change is leading is unknowable yet your mind is in overload attempting to predict your future or figure out the past.  In Step 8 we discuss the importance of leading your head to where your feet are or, bringing yourself to and staying present in the moment.  It is an ingrained habit of mind to time travel to attempt to figure out the unknowable.  When we get lost in reflections of the past or fears projected onto our futures we waste the present by disabling our ability to be effective in the one place that is real and where we have power,  right here and right now. Staying present in the moment eliminates the feelings of powerlessness that so many indiv

Positive. Life-enhancing. Enlightening. Compassionate. These words are seldom associated with divorce. Words that typically come to mind are: Painful. Agonizing. Resentful. Bitter.  Our guest, domestic relations judge and best-selling author Judge Michele Lowrance enlightens listeners how people can attain a positive outlook, achieve forgiveness, and move on with a mended soul (http://thegoodkarmadivorce.com/).  Judge Lowrance has learned that there's a better way to handle divorce. So she came up with a plan to turn the negatives of divorce into positives. She explains the program in her book, The Good Karma Divorce: Avoid Litigation, Turn Negative Emotions into Positive Actions, and Get On with the Rest of Your Life. Topics in this program include: On court: An understanding what the court system can and cannot do – it can’t rescue you, but perhaps it can encourage forgiveness. On children: Ordinary parenting is not enough; parents need to adopt wisdom building skills for heroic parenting. Justice Lowran

We are discussing the tender topic of discovering infidelity today and with us is C.J. Grace, author of “The Adulterer’s Wife: How to thrive whether you stay or not.” During today's show we’ll support you to look at three aspects of confronting infidelity so you will understand how to give yourself the space to get clear before taking action about staying, leaving, or kicking your spouse out.  We will also share tools to help you heal from the hurt and design your path forward so that regardless of your eventual choice, you’ll emerge more confident and clear in yourself and capable of creating a future of your design C.J. shares a few of the gems in her book which is a perfect resource to “tease apart the emotional knots you're experiencing, step back to view your situation with some distance, and understand the what and why of your options - she provides all with the perfect amount of irreverent humor and wisdom.” For more information on Karen McMahon and Journey Beyond Divorce visit: www.JourneyBeyondDivorc

Today, many couples choose to live together without being married and have a child together.  The question becomes, what happens if you split up?  Will you have to pay spousal and child support as if you were a married couple? Attorney, Henry Gornbein helps sort through the legal questions in what used to be referred to as a "common law" marriage and guide you through the process. For more information on Henry, visit: https://www.lippittokeefe.com For more information on Henry's Gracefully Greying TV show, visit: https://www.nrmstreamcast.com/lifestyles-page/gracefully-greying/ For comments and questions, feel free to write Divorce Source Radio at: DivorceSourceRadio@gmail.com.

(Listener Note: This is Step #7 of this 12 step series. To take full advantage of this please visit our show archive and listen to the episodes in their proper order). Everyone divorcing has a particular version or story of what happened to their marriage and why.  This story is usually from a singular personal perspective, yours.  Your spouse has another story, also singular and personal. Unless your spouse is truly delusional, both stories have a basis in truth yet neither encompasses a whole truth.  In Step 7 Karen and Lisa explore the concept of “story” as differentiated from “what actually happened”.  They provide practices and skills that allow you to become aware of  your story as only one of a number of versions so you can begin to own your part in the unfolding and unraveling of your marriage with compassion and understanding.  As you begin to question your story and look at other ways of interpreting the personalities and events involved, there is a freedom to recognize your role in what happened. 

In this episode of Divorce Recovery, Divorce/Life Coach, Shelley Stile teaches us how not to distort the reality of our situation. When we are living our lives in a state of true awareness wherein we are truly conscious of our actions, we can free ourselves from reactive, self defeating behavior and realize our personal best. Unfortunately, although we may think that we make conscious decisions; in reality our unconscious mind impacts our behavior. Our actions are therefore not truly under our control. We can learn to recognize the unconscious, that part of our mind that has great power over much of our actions without us even being aware of its existence. In doing so, we can diminish its power over us. When we live on a conscious level, we are as alert to what is happening as a deer in the woods who hears something unknown. We insure that our actions, our decisions, our communications are not influenced by the myriad filters we apply to life. We don’t look through rose colored or black glasses; we choose to

In this episode of Beyond Infidelity we welcome Dan, a man who survived his former wife’s affair and today lives a life that he describes as “extremely satisfying and full of adventure”.  In this podcast Dan bravely shares his recovery story, highlighting the things he did that he found helpful as well as what to avoid.  All this in hopes that you may benefit from Dan’s journey and as a result experience less pain and recover more quickly. For more on David Feder, visit: wwwCloseConnections.ca

New communications technology has changed the way many divorce cases are tried these days. Prior to the internet with its chat rooms and pornography, social media websites, such as Facebook, and cell phones with text messaging, proving a partner's infidelity or financial indiscretions was a difficult task. Today, it's quite common during a divorce to subpoena the contents of a spouse's computer, cell phone records and text messages.  You've probably heard of politicians and celebrities being brought down, in part, by what was discovered in their email, text messages or internet browsing history. In today's program, family law attorney, Henry Gornbein, and I discuss the fall-out of today's technology and address how the discovery of this information can affect a marriage and, ultimately, a divorce. We'll take a look at this from a legal perspective pertaining to your right to privacy, and we'll provide strong advice regarding the use of this new communications medium during a divorce. For more free pro

Divorce is never easy, and divorcing with children of any age makes it that much more difficult.  Most information on divorce where children are involved is directed to families with younger children.  This program takes a look at the challenges of divorcing when your children are in their teens and twenties. Psychologist Dr. Larry Friedberg is our guest and provides helpful insight for parents going through divorce with older children. Topics Include: How Custody Issues Change as Kids Grow Older, Dealing with Your Kids' Anger and Resentment, Co-Parenting, Understanding How your Kids are Feeling, Why Communicating with Your Ex is Critical, and more. For more Free programs, visit: www.DivorceSourceRadio.com

(Listener Note: This is Step #6 of this 12 step series. To take full advantage of this please visit our show archive and listen to the episodes in their proper order). I keep getting stuck in what was. 2 tools to shift your gaze from the rear view mirror to the front windshield during divorce.  With Karen McMahon and Sheila Knopp. It is both normal and easy to label ourselves and / or our spouse as bad or wrong during divorce.  We can live in regret or with rose color glasses as we keep our eyes glued to the rear view mirror.  Our judgement of the past, which is often unconscious thought behavior, locks us into the hurt and pain that we so deeply want to escape. Explore a new practice of Curiosity.  Consider what might happen if you didn’t firmly believe you knew everything… the why and how, and the motivation or thought behind every action. While our judgement keeps us stuck in old thought patterns that add to our suffering, curiosity opens the possibility for new learning, growth and healing. Consider how l

Forgiveness is a miraculous act that serves as a release valve that propels us forward into a new life after divorce. To forgive is to be truly free, to be unencumbered by the past. The problem or challenge with forgiveness is that it is very difficult and oftentimes near impossible for us to go there, especially if we are leaving an abusive relationship of some sort. How can we forgive really bad behavior? How can we forgive someone who has wronged or betrayed us? There are two important elements of forgiveness: what it is and what it gives to us. Forgiveness is the ability to let go of blames, resentments, upsets and negative emotions we hold against a particular person. In order to achieve forgiveness, we go through a process that begins by separating the person who we are forgiving from their behavior. We do so because forgiveness does not mean that we condone someone's bad behavior. We don't. Here is the greatest gift of all: self-forgiveness. By forgiving someone else, you also forgive yourself. You c

David Feder returns with another episode of The Anatomy of An Affair on Divorce Source Radio to discuss personality disorders and affairs. Many people suffer some form of personality disorder whether it be Borderline Personality or Narcissistic Disorder, Bipolar, or one of the many other types of mental illnesses that affect an individual's ability to form healthy relationships. Some of these illnesses can even be the direct cause of a partner straying and becoming unfaithful.  David explains how mental illness might play out during an affair and provides advice for the hurt partner dealing with the fallout.