Save Your Sanity: Help For Toxic Relationships

Promises! Proclamations! Pronouncements of just what you want to hear. Does it happen as promised? No! See tactics for what they are: ways to get you stay, or get you onside, or get around you. SO important to recognize the bait & switch as it's happening. This episode helps you do just that! Hijackals use "Bait & Switch" tactics to get you to stay, to get off their backs, to get you onside with them, and to keep you fooled. Oh, NO! That can't go on any longer. See the tactics clearly for what they are, not for what you hope they might possibly be. The Hijackal is counting on you believing them, and believing in them. NO! They are not trustworthy and this episode will help you see even more reasons not to trust them. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Tactics Hijackals use to keep you hooked...and believing themWhat "bait & switch" looks like in Hijackal relationships5 "Bait & Switch" moves most narcissistic people use to manipulate youWhy you need to see these tactics and refuse to believe them

Whether they are your in-laws--parents or siblings, or your adult children's in-laws, you can feel frustrated, infuriated, diminished, dismissed, or downright denied by in-laws you need to be right and want to be in control. It can tear your relationships apart. Worse, it can tear YOU apart! In this episode, you'll learn to recognize subtle and in-your-face screaming signs that Hijackal in-laws won't be ignored. Learn some ways to handle the horrors of Hijackal in-laws.Direct emotional abuse from a Hijackal in-law is often couples with indirect emotional abuse through the family. It's important to do what you can to stop the flying monkeys, triangulation, and constant drama! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:The 7 horrors of Hijackal in-lawsWhat you MUST handle first when you recognize you have a Hijackal in-lawTraits of difficult in-laws10 approaches to handling Hijackal in-lawsI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://

You need to consider whether or not you're addicted to the drama of being with a Hijackal or any other relentlessly difficult person. You may not have ever thought about it that way, BUT it's SO important to check out whether or not you ARE ADDICTED to drama. This is something you can change!!!Is your life an emotional rollercoaster? Good sign there is drama involved! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE: Checklist of addiction to drama from the book, Soul Solitude by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler and G. Charles Andersen, MAHow you can become addicted to drama without realizing it8 Secrets you can use to figure out if an addiction to drama has you in its clutchesThe benefits of recognizing any signs that you are addicted to the rollercoaster that is life with a Hijackal I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK:&

Good for you! Recognizing codependent self-talk is a super important part of overcoming unhealthy emotional reliance on others...particularly those Hijackal others!!! Reflect on these ten things you may be in the habit of telling yourself, and change your habits to healthier ones. You are important. Your needs are important to know and to express. You are not selfish for keeping a balance between compassion for yourself and compassion for others! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:How codependence shows up in your relationshipDefinition of codependenceChanging self-talk that makes codependence OK10 things to change in your self-talk to be more balanced and assertiveI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/Rhober

Leaving an emotional abuser is taxing, difficult, and brave. So many considerations! And, if you have children, so many more.When you're with a Hijackal, you can be too trauma-bonded to see your way clearly to dinner time, let alone to see your way to leaving. In this episode, I offer many considerations that can seem daunting...at first. Breaking them down makes it more apparent what might be holding you back from leaving an emotionally abusive situation, whether that is with a partner, parent, sibling, in-law, or friend.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why you feel exhausted, frustrated, anxious & unsafeHow you talk yourself into stayingFears you have about leaving an emotional abuserAddressing your fears, and fear of failureI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.c

Understanding how "all or nothing" or "black and white" thinking divides your relationship and reduces the possibilities for growing towards each other is EYE-OPENING. It's always lurking in a Hijackal relationship, and being ready to do it differently can be GAME-CHANGING. In this episode, explore the how's and why's, as well as the what-to-do's when this "splitting" occurs. Black & white thinking leaves you feeling confused, uncertain, and fearful.NO MORE! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:What splitting is Why Hijackals are caught in black or white, all or nothing thinkingHow to recognize and define all or nothing thinkingWays in which splitting or black and white thinking shows upWhat Hijackals do to emphasize their points when splitting I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://

You'll be hoping for a very long time, and is that OK with you? If you're giving yourself excuses to take action, hoping a Hijackal will change is often at the top of that list. Listen to the episode to see this all more clearly.. Don't abandon yourself by giving your life over to being hooked on hope! Hooked on hope actually means "addicted to the expectation for something you desire to happen." That might help you see the problem. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why there is little hope a Hijackal will changeWhy the change required is to be the one who is changingWhy you may think it's best to "not give up on the relationship"Love-bombing vs. real, healthy loveI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.

You are likely anxious, feeling unsafe, angry, and exhausted from life with a relentless difficult Hijackal. Understanding enabling and knowing how to stop--beginning with small ways--is important for your well-being and mental health. You likely never meant to become an enabler. It happens slowly. And, just as slowly, you abandon yourself in favor of meeting the needs and taking responsibility for the actions of another person. See the enabling clearly, and use these 10 Ways to find your way back from enabling other adults. Not your job! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Dr. Shaler's definition of enablingHow enabling differs from empathyNot being responsible for the actions of othersEssential nature of boundaries10 Ways to Stop Enabling over time I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https

There's that person who seems incapable--and, also unwilling--to ever put themselves in your shoes, right? Or, that person who doesn't want to hear anything about you and always returns the conversation to themselves? Or, that person who could care less that you are hurting, celebrating, or anything in between? They may be empathy-deficient. I'm sharing some ways to know if that's a pattern, and who they really are.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:3 kinds of empathy what it means to have an empathy deficithow it feels to be in a relationship with an empathy-deficient person, parent, partnerwhy they do things for others they won't do for you10 ways to deal with a person who doesn't care to understand your feelings, circumstances, or needsI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Face

"OK, Babe, I promise you the world." But, what about delivery? Learn more about how Hijackals trick you into believing they are GOING TO do something, or WANT the same things you want. It's Future Faking!It's SO important to see the patterns, and sometimes, when you've been worn down and torn down by living in a toxic relationship, you simply don't see them. Future Faking is important to recognize. It can make the difference between staying and going! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:What Future Faking isWhy you may not clearly see the future fakingHow to see future faking for what it is Recognizing the patterns of future faking in your relationship may help you see why you stay for more abuseThe manipulation: love-bombing, seduction, bait-and-switch of future fakingI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comF

Hijackals will do whatever they think they need to do to "win" in any moment. Generalizing, globalizing and glossing over information is a strategy--a trick--they use to go for that "win." Once you clearly see it, you will be able to counteract it, but you may not be recognizing it quite yet. This episode will expose the trick and the tactics.Feel bullied in a conversation with a narcissistic person? This could be why. .HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why Hijackals--narcissistic people--have to be rightAnother tactic Hijackals use to make you feel unimportantHow generalizing, globalizing, and glossing over is an attempt to kill the conversationWhy it is SO important to recognize this globalizing tactic so you won't be taken in by itI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook

It can be such a rollercoaster! Whether you're thinking about leaving, or have left, you can run between grief and relief. Knowing how to think it through and work it through makes the journey back to healthy living more possible. Yes, you may be all over the place, AND it's OK. Use these insights and strategies to make it through.Leaving an abusive relationship, healing begins once you've left. Recovery takes much longer. .HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:What "Complicated Grief" isFears you may have before or after leaving an emotionally abusive relationshipInsights into what causes the guilt of leavingWhy you may not allow yourself to feel relieved after leavingWays to think about leaving to reduce the grief and enjoy the reliefI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Faceb

Use my "Get to NO Guilt" Strategies in this episode. You often don't get much support for going no contact with the relentlessly difficult people in your world. Folks project their sense of guilt on you. Don't let that sabotage what's best for your well-being! In this episode, It's time to do it!You matter! You need to take good care of yourself, and a Hijackal will never help you do that. That's why sometimes the only thing to do is to stop all contact and communication. It's not easy, but it's imperative. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why people try to talk you out of going No ContactThe 10 NO's of NO ContactWhy it is difficult go decide to go NO ContactWhat to do if you're tempted to break NO Contact10 Ways to Get To NO Guilt about NO Contact I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: http

So many parallels to being in a blender!. Those conversations that go round and round and get you right back to focusing on the Hijackal. Crazy-Making indeed. Let's recognize those circular, get-us-nowhere-good interactions and know how to exit them somewhat safely.Involved in repeated arguments that never resolve anything? Feel like you're talking to the wall? Is it always your fault? See the patterns in your relationship after listening to this episode, and begin to remove yourself from circular conversation.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why you want to avoid the spin cycleHow Hijackals want to entrap you in circular conversations9 things that WILL happen in a #circularconversationWhy they are crazy-makingI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpD

Having a parent who could not love is NO reflection on your lovability! As a child, you couldn't know this. So, it became part of the fabric of who you think you are. It's NOT YOUR FAULT! Listen in to recognize what happened to you, and how it may be affecting your self-esteem and relationships. It could begin to change everything for you!Narcissistic, passive-aggressive parents are self-absorbed. Even if they have something to give you, they will withhold it, or take it for themselves.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why parents not loving you is not about you12 Signs of an Emotionally Abusive parentHow having a Hijackal parent affects your view of yourselfHijackal parents give their children warped views of relationshipInsights into your own relationshipsI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK:&n

What a performance! Do you ever shake your head as you watch? And, they all too often get their way because you don't see what they're about, nor what they're up to. See them clearly so you can stop being their adoring audience!When you're with a person with histrionic tendencies, you have season tickets to a one-person show. It's exhausting. Once you see those shenanigans for the attention-seeking devices they are, you'll give up your seats to the show...or, at least, stop applauding or more! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:What does histrionic meanWhy being with a histrionic person is so exhausting15 ways to recognize histrionic behavior of HijackalsWhy they make things up to make you focus only on themCan a histrionic person change? I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Face

Am I in love or trauma-bonded? Did my parents love me or was I trauma-bonded? Essential to know! Understanding trauma-bonding--what it looks like, sounds like, and feels like--can help you end the confusion and see clearly. Then, you can make good decisions about the Hijackals in your life and choose healthy relationships.Trauma-bonding is addictive, and it takes strength and courage to turn away. You CAN DO IT! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:What is trauma-bondingWhy you can be confused by itWhy trauma-bonding can be mistaken for love WHICH IT IS NOT!Ways to recognize trauma-bonding conversationsSee the cycle: Manipulate. Abuse. Manipulate.I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN:&nbs

Oh, the webs Hijackals weave to trap you into their fabric! One of those is playing the victim, and another is the "you don't care enough for me" one. Sounds familiar? Learn more about the subtle and obvious ways they try to keep you trapped.Oh, yes, they will do anything for attention and to bring the spotlight to themselves! What better way than to play "poor me?" The victim. The one who NEVER gets their needs meet, or their voice heard. So sad. SO NOT TRUE! Yet, it happens over and over. Sound familiar? Listen to this episode so you'll see these ploys every time. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:What a victim really isWhy playing the victim is manipulating7 reasons why narcissists play victim6 essential approaches to not falling for Hijackals playing the victimI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACE

You know it. You're exhausted. Emotionally exhausted. You may have backed down so far that you feel like you're playing dead. Energy depleted and wondering where to find some.First understand more about the symptoms of emotional exhaustion. Then, how to take steps to slowly find the energy---and motivation--to make some positive changes. Slowly regain some energy to move towards positive possibilities for yourself and your children. Recognize causes & symptoms of emotional exhaustion. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:12 ways Hijackals and other relentlessly difficult people are emotionally exhaustingSymptoms of emotional exhaustion that are vital to see How difficult people slowly wear you downSteps to giving up feelings of helplessness and/or powerlessnessI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOO

Hijackal Humans are different than Healthier Humans. You look to them to think, think & feel the way you do, but they don't. Know these 10 things you hope are going to show up in your relationship with a narcissistic Hijackal Human will not.Because you're likely a Healthier Human, you want to believe a Hijackal will change. Sadly, no. The relationship will never be healthy, balanced, and loving. It's not what a Hijackal wants! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why you will never get equality from a Hijackal, a narcissistic personTen things you'll never get that you really, really want from a partnerWhy the three must-haves of a healthy adult relationship will be missingWhy it's time to recognize that nothing you do will change this for more than a hot minuteI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOO