Pitney & Amelia's Bitchen Boutique

(Yes, we went with another sequel title. We're gonna keep it up until we completely run out of ideas!) A very happy Thanksgiving to our American listeners, and to everyone else, a reasonably good but unimportant Thursday in late November. Once again, Pitney and Amelia talk about their gratitude for things that make them happy, such as: Food additives! The joy of righteous anger! Finding out a big-shot Republican is just a patriot for money! The big scary light being shone on everyday racism! Our friendship! Our puppies! And, of course, our devoted listeners. whoever you are! Also, in a new Bitchen in the Kitchen segment, Amelia shares her secret for making the sweet potatoes she's famous for. You won't want to miss that! As of this week, we are only about 200 downloads away from the big 10K, and we promised to do something special for you when we hit that number. Tweet, DM, or email us your ideas, no matter how scandalous! Promos: The Retro Cinema Podcast  and 2 Skeptical Chaps (Want to swap show promos? Ema

It’s almost Thanksgiving, so we offer a bounty of the sort of ridiculous and rambling conversation you expect from us! Abandoned birthday cake, horrid song lyrics, loud neighbor fights, the Cassidy brothers, Pitney’s aversion to ugliness, the pain of pleurisy, stylish terrycloth short sets, window shopping via catalog, the glory of the station wagon, family vacations, Disney nightmares, and Harry Potter obsession! And you know there’s more! Promo: Work/Life Imbalance Podcast (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at

Happy Halloween, y'all! Did you know there are people determined to crap on your Halloween good time? People who think you're a horrible sinner for daring to have spooky fun on October 31st? You know who those people are? Evangelical Christians, of course! Hear what one "former Satanist" and a former teen heartthrob have to say about it, and then learn how the pious mommies in your neighborhood are going to try to make you their mission project! Then we have a few laughs looking at some seriously stupid sexy-fill-in-the-blank Halloween costumes and reminisce about our experiences with full-body spandex. (Pro-tip: Control your fluid intake.) Promos: Queens of the Damned Podcast and 2 Skeptical Chaps (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones

Pitney found an old notebook filled with stories he wrote years ago, stories about his beloved characters Marcus and Mona of the planet Galleria, and this week we share a spooky Halloween story with you! Yes, you read correctly. Pitney and Amelia venture into the world of Scripted Audiodrama!! Hear descriptions of glamourous Halloween outfits! Hear the squelching of grease in Latrino's castle! Hear the arrival of the Evil Princess Gertrude's spaceship! Hear the plop of grody bird poop! Hear more "likes" and "omigods" than in all of Moon Unit Zappa's Valley Girl! Promos: None this week! (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join

This episode was inspired by Jamel Miles, the sweet little nine year old boy in Denver, CO who committed suicide after being bullied in school for being gay. We share our experiences with bullying and the lasting effects it can have on the psyche. School bullies, masc-for-masc bullies in the gay community, family bullies, imaginary fascist bullies: we've got 'em all! Then we go off on a bit of a Catholic tangent that we promise we'll come back to someday! Promo: In Poor Taste (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something a

Pitney surprises Amelia with the bundle of fabulous extras that came with the Deadpool 2 Year Anniversary Edition Blu-Ray, and she squees over the Colorforms and whatnot. Then a bunch of Marvel movie talk ensued: Guardians of the Galaxy, Avengers Infinity War, etc etc. Amelia hates people who spoil movies, Pitney wants Rocket/Thor slashfic to exist. (We googled. It does. Because of course.) A brief discussion of Benedict Cumberbatch occurs, and it turns out that Tricia Von Liechtenstein is VERY into him, even to the point of uncharacteristic lewdness. This reminds Pitney of something stupid she said about another actor she had a crush on. It's really REALLY stupid. Fast forward to Amelia's trip to San Antonio and our visit to Hello Tallulah, a delightful shop filled with vintage clothing and accessories! We chatted with Kristina, the store's adorable pink-haired owner, who told us all about her wonderful business. You definitely need to stop by and see her when you're in town! Promos: 2 Girls on a Bench and

We've been watching movies! First, Pitney shares the plot of a trashy Lifetime movie they really enjoyed at the nursing home. Then he and Amelia talk about how wholesome Hallmark movies are, and how those stories always make the female leads look stupid. Pitney is VERY excited, however, about the dozens of new Christmas movies coming this season! Then Pitney and Amelia talk about a terribly homophobic and utterly problematic cop movie from 1982 called Partners, starring Ryan O'Neal and John Hurt. There's no way to talk about this piece of crap without being offensive, so deal with it. Finally, Amelia finds out what's up with that property Pitney's mom was selling in California, and comes up with a creative solution to get rid of those squatters once and for all! Promo: Invasion of the Remake podcast (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on

Sex! Sex! Sex! (Also gender!) The more we think about gender, the more fascinated we are by even just the IDEA of it. What is a man? What is a woman? And why do some people refuse to bathe? But first, Amelia is gonna drop some serious anthropology knowledge on ya, while she rips apart those paleo people and their stupid "this is how caveman ate" arguments. Promos: the Retro Cinema podcast  and 2 Skeptical Chaps (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show!  (Turn off that Con

We weren't in town long enough to record a whole episode, so this week we're giving you delightful miscellany! Tids and bits snipped from various conversations that add up to forty jam-packed minutes! A wandering discussion about a new anime cafe in San Antonio becomes a walk down memory lane peppered with people we've nicknamed and obsessed over. Pitney's obsession with a guy who makes Skyrim videos and pronounces words oddly. Amelia's disappointment in Sonic's failed jalapeno chocolate shake and Pitney's fascination with their new pickle slushie. And then Pitney got picked up by a hottie at Target! Promo: the Aggravated Hour podcast (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia

If you could meet five people you admire from the past, people who are dead, who would they be? Pitney was tasked with this exercise and it stumped him. We thought of all sorts of dead folks we would want to meet and what we would talk to them about. But mostly we talked about what dead people we'd like to have as guests on our show! For example, did you know your grandfathers? Pitney and Amelia didn't know theirs. One was a really interesting dude who has some 'splainin to do about minstrel shows! What was much easier was to come up with fictional characters we would want to hang out with. After all, who wouldn't want to hitchhike the galaxy with Ford Prefect? And finally, human nature. Are we good or are we bad? The answer might surprise and depress you. Promos: Chewed Gum Podcast  and the 2 Skeptical Chaps! (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never

How dare people think they have the right to judge us! Seriously, though, Amelia had two really gross encounters with waitstaff at Applebee’s where they treated her as a “fat customer” instead of a “customer,” much to Pitney’s surprise. She talks about how she often gets treated horribly for daring to exist in public as a fat person, and how fat people, women in particular, get misdiagnosed by awful doctors who see the fat and assume it’s the cause of every malady. Then Pitney talks about a couple times when he was treated badly by waitresses and he rained terror upon their establishments! (Not really. He just got somebody fired.) Finally, Pitney shares a story about this year’s Pride service at his Unitarian Universalist (UU) church, and how much he loves the opportunity going to church gives him to learn that his assumptions about people are often incorrect. But will we stop judging people? Surely you jest! Promo: Tuesdays With Mari (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please tak

This week, Pitney and Amelia talk about some of their past relationships, particularly the moment they knew it was OVER. Sometimes it sneaks up on you, and sometimes it hits you like a ton of bricks, but that moment comes when the relationship just can't go on any longer. And sometimes the relationship shouldn't even happen to begin with. There are an awful lot of rom-coms where the guy and girl hate each other in the beginning and get married at the end. What a dumb message to send to people. DON'T LISTEN TO THEM, LISTEN TO US! And in the middle of it all is a reference to an old "Worst Person in the World" story. To hear it in full, be sure to check out The Mafia? Fuhgeddaboudit! Promo: Work/Life Imbalance (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Wr

Have you seen Wild Wild Country on Netflix? It's a documentary about the hubbub surrounding the commune of the followers of Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh (now known as Osho) in Oregon. Everybody's talking about it, including us! Amelia hasn't watched the series yet, so Pitney told her all about the events that happened back then, and how many parallels there are with the way things are now. Hate, intolerance, anger, discrimination, violence. None of that has gone away. And in the middle of it all, a palate cleanser about how Tricia Von Liechtenstein feels about high efficiency washer and dryers. (It's not positive.) Promo: We Watched a Thing (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! J

It's our SECOND ANNIVERSARY! Time really flies, doesn't it? This year, instead of doing a clip show, we decided to give you a semi-normal, but still kinda special episode to celebrate the end of our second year. Am I hyping it too much? Probably. First, Pitney tells us how frustrated he is with how Kerrville Land Rush will be handled this year, and how fun it is to hang out around a bunch of parked cars in 95 degree weather for a day and a half. Amelia doesn't understand it. Then we answer a handful of questions from The Ungame, a very hippy-dippy, no-losers sort of boardgame from the 70s. And because it's us, it alternates between silly and serious pretty quickly. And there's a lot of talk of cock. (Don't knock the cock talk.) And just when you think it's over, we announce the winner of our Do You Love Me contest! Be sure to check our website, Twitter, or Facebook group to see photos! Promo: We're having fun with 2 Skeptical Chaps! (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please take

This is a tough one, but we promise it's worth it. We didn't go to Texas Frightmare Weekend this year, so you know we had to have really good reasons. Oh boy did we. Pitney's reason is kind of hilarious. Itchy, but hilarious. Amelia's reason is terribly sad. And even though she was only barely ready to talk about it, she wanted you to know what's going on with her, because this show is nothing if not real as hell. Promo: None this week...didn't seem right. (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/155973321651896/ And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop

(Warning: the old mic was in bad shape and we didn’t realize it, resulting in some un-edit-out-able clipping. It only happens a few times. It’s awful. We apologize.) This week, Pitney and Amelia reminisce about the glory days of fanzines and a dear lady who wrote terrible poetry about TV characters she loved. What the most extreme “con people” think is funny versus what we think is funny. When you’re nu and aspire to be tru. Verity Noslen never got enough food. The art of gardening and butterfly support for the chronically impatient and obsessive. Pitney is insanely pro-sugar. What a clueless nerd said he’d do with a million dollars. Promo: I Shake My Head with Lisa and Sam http://www.ismhead.podbean.com/ (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write

This was our first time attending HavenCon http://www.havencontx.com, a LGBTQIA+ geek & gaming con in Austin, and it was so fabulous we have to talk about it! Hear us gush about the con's inclusivity and diversity, the wonderful people we met, how much we love hanging out with furries and the fur-adjacent, the Grand Illusion drag pageant, the incredible cosplay, the fate of Pitney's Skyrim costume, the incredible hotel, and the delightful guests, including Daniel Newman, Tracee Cocco, Tracy Scoggins, and the folks from Bioware! Plus, a brief and devious fantasy about what we'd do if we ran into the Worst Person in the World! Promo: Very Dark Very Quick http://www.blogtalkradio.com/vdvq (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at Pitne

We've learned some important stuff as we've gotten older. Like, spend a little extra on the things you use every day, because you get what you pay for. And surround yourself with things you find beautiful and pleasing, because it'll change the way you feel about your home! OMIGOD YOU GUYS IT'S EPISODE 50! We've got exciting news in this episode that I won't spoil here, including the details of this year's listener contest! Promo: The Forgotten News Podcast https://forgottennewspodcast.podbean.com (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/155973321651896/ And if you're feeling generous, buy yourse

Did you know it's almost Episode 50?? So much stuff is about to happen when we celebrate this milestone! If you haven't subscribed or added us to your favorites yet, do it now so you don't miss a lot of fun, important news, and a chance to WIN STUFF! This episode is definitely NSFW. It starts with Amelia reading an article to Pitney about a man getting wanky with something weird. This inspires a lengthy discussion of masturbatory aids and other things into which one might stick one's dick. Then we laugh about 70s musical porn and naughty novelty items. SCANDAL! What actress caused a stink online because she wasn't able to strongarm her way into a convention? FIND OUT IN THIS EPISODE!!! (And remember: if you listen to the end, you'll be rewarded!) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? W

Before we get started here, Amelia would like to apologize for the occasional sound of her phone vibrating from time to time during this recording. It was on a completely different table and alerted her over and over to texts from her sisters and she didn't hear it until editing time, and obviously we were just stuck with it. And have we mentioned before that if you don't listen all the way to the end of the podcast, you're missing primo stuff? It's true! And with this episode, you won't even understand the title unless you hear the goodies at the end! This week Pitney is a little worried about finishing his Skyrim costume in time for HavenCon -- our first non-Frightmare con in forever! We're crazy excited about this LBGTQ+/Geek/Gaming convention! We reminisce about con dances from our past and pray to avoid "le spags." And then, of course, we explain what a "le spag" is, which means you get a Verity story! Then Pitney tells a story about an old lady's reaction to the sight of a blood orange, and freaky peopl