Pitney & Amelia's Bitchen Boutique

If you could meet five people you admire from the past, people who are dead, who would they be? Pitney was tasked with this exercise and it stumped him. We thought of all sorts of dead folks we would want to meet and what we would talk to them about. But mostly we talked about what dead people we'd like to have as guests on our show! For example, did you know your grandfathers? Pitney and Amelia didn't know theirs. One was a really interesting dude who has some 'splainin to do about minstrel shows! What was much easier was to come up with fictional characters we would want to hang out with. After all, who wouldn't want to hitchhike the galaxy with Ford Prefect? And finally, human nature. Are we good or are we bad? The answer might surprise and depress you. Promos: Chewed Gum Podcast  and the 2 Skeptical Chaps! (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never

How dare people think they have the right to judge us! Seriously, though, Amelia had two really gross encounters with waitstaff at Applebee’s where they treated her as a “fat customer” instead of a “customer,” much to Pitney’s surprise. She talks about how she often gets treated horribly for daring to exist in public as a fat person, and how fat people, women in particular, get misdiagnosed by awful doctors who see the fat and assume it’s the cause of every malady. Then Pitney talks about a couple times when he was treated badly by waitresses and he rained terror upon their establishments! (Not really. He just got somebody fired.) Finally, Pitney shares a story about this year’s Pride service at his Unitarian Universalist (UU) church, and how much he loves the opportunity going to church gives him to learn that his assumptions about people are often incorrect. But will we stop judging people? Surely you jest! Promo: Tuesdays With Mari (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please tak

This week, Pitney and Amelia talk about some of their past relationships, particularly the moment they knew it was OVER. Sometimes it sneaks up on you, and sometimes it hits you like a ton of bricks, but that moment comes when the relationship just can't go on any longer. And sometimes the relationship shouldn't even happen to begin with. There are an awful lot of rom-coms where the guy and girl hate each other in the beginning and get married at the end. What a dumb message to send to people. DON'T LISTEN TO THEM, LISTEN TO US! And in the middle of it all is a reference to an old "Worst Person in the World" story. To hear it in full, be sure to check out The Mafia? Fuhgeddaboudit! Promo: Work/Life Imbalance (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Wr

Have you seen Wild Wild Country on Netflix? It's a documentary about the hubbub surrounding the commune of the followers of Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh (now known as Osho) in Oregon. Everybody's talking about it, including us! Amelia hasn't watched the series yet, so Pitney told her all about the events that happened back then, and how many parallels there are with the way things are now. Hate, intolerance, anger, discrimination, violence. None of that has gone away. And in the middle of it all, a palate cleanser about how Tricia Von Liechtenstein feels about high efficiency washer and dryers. (It's not positive.) Promo: We Watched a Thing (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! J

It's our SECOND ANNIVERSARY! Time really flies, doesn't it? This year, instead of doing a clip show, we decided to give you a semi-normal, but still kinda special episode to celebrate the end of our second year. Am I hyping it too much? Probably. First, Pitney tells us how frustrated he is with how Kerrville Land Rush will be handled this year, and how fun it is to hang out around a bunch of parked cars in 95 degree weather for a day and a half. Amelia doesn't understand it. Then we answer a handful of questions from The Ungame, a very hippy-dippy, no-losers sort of boardgame from the 70s. And because it's us, it alternates between silly and serious pretty quickly. And there's a lot of talk of cock. (Don't knock the cock talk.) And just when you think it's over, we announce the winner of our Do You Love Me contest! Be sure to check our website, Twitter, or Facebook group to see photos! Promo: We're having fun with 2 Skeptical Chaps! (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please take

This is a tough one, but we promise it's worth it. We didn't go to Texas Frightmare Weekend this year, so you know we had to have really good reasons. Oh boy did we. Pitney's reason is kind of hilarious. Itchy, but hilarious. Amelia's reason is terribly sad. And even though she was only barely ready to talk about it, she wanted you to know what's going on with her, because this show is nothing if not real as hell. Promo: None this week...didn't seem right. (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/155973321651896/ And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop

(Warning: the old mic was in bad shape and we didn’t realize it, resulting in some un-edit-out-able clipping. It only happens a few times. It’s awful. We apologize.) This week, Pitney and Amelia reminisce about the glory days of fanzines and a dear lady who wrote terrible poetry about TV characters she loved. What the most extreme “con people” think is funny versus what we think is funny. When you’re nu and aspire to be tru. Verity Noslen never got enough food. The art of gardening and butterfly support for the chronically impatient and obsessive. Pitney is insanely pro-sugar. What a clueless nerd said he’d do with a million dollars. Promo: I Shake My Head with Lisa and Sam http://www.ismhead.podbean.com/ (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write

This was our first time attending HavenCon http://www.havencontx.com, a LGBTQIA+ geek & gaming con in Austin, and it was so fabulous we have to talk about it! Hear us gush about the con's inclusivity and diversity, the wonderful people we met, how much we love hanging out with furries and the fur-adjacent, the Grand Illusion drag pageant, the incredible cosplay, the fate of Pitney's Skyrim costume, the incredible hotel, and the delightful guests, including Daniel Newman, Tracee Cocco, Tracy Scoggins, and the folks from Bioware! Plus, a brief and devious fantasy about what we'd do if we ran into the Worst Person in the World! Promo: Very Dark Very Quick http://www.blogtalkradio.com/vdvq (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at Pitne

We've learned some important stuff as we've gotten older. Like, spend a little extra on the things you use every day, because you get what you pay for. And surround yourself with things you find beautiful and pleasing, because it'll change the way you feel about your home! OMIGOD YOU GUYS IT'S EPISODE 50! We've got exciting news in this episode that I won't spoil here, including the details of this year's listener contest! Promo: The Forgotten News Podcast https://forgottennewspodcast.podbean.com (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/155973321651896/ And if you're feeling generous, buy yourse

Did you know it's almost Episode 50?? So much stuff is about to happen when we celebrate this milestone! If you haven't subscribed or added us to your favorites yet, do it now so you don't miss a lot of fun, important news, and a chance to WIN STUFF! This episode is definitely NSFW. It starts with Amelia reading an article to Pitney about a man getting wanky with something weird. This inspires a lengthy discussion of masturbatory aids and other things into which one might stick one's dick. Then we laugh about 70s musical porn and naughty novelty items. SCANDAL! What actress caused a stink online because she wasn't able to strongarm her way into a convention? FIND OUT IN THIS EPISODE!!! (And remember: if you listen to the end, you'll be rewarded!) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? W

Before we get started here, Amelia would like to apologize for the occasional sound of her phone vibrating from time to time during this recording. It was on a completely different table and alerted her over and over to texts from her sisters and she didn't hear it until editing time, and obviously we were just stuck with it. And have we mentioned before that if you don't listen all the way to the end of the podcast, you're missing primo stuff? It's true! And with this episode, you won't even understand the title unless you hear the goodies at the end! This week Pitney is a little worried about finishing his Skyrim costume in time for HavenCon -- our first non-Frightmare con in forever! We're crazy excited about this LBGTQ+/Geek/Gaming convention! We reminisce about con dances from our past and pray to avoid "le spags." And then, of course, we explain what a "le spag" is, which means you get a Verity story! Then Pitney tells a story about an old lady's reaction to the sight of a blood orange, and freaky peopl

This week’s episode has been combobulated from two recording sessions. Pitney and Amelia discuss laughing at things other people are meh about, becoming our mothers, crazy shit old men say, Skyrim mods that annoy Pitney, and Amelia remembers some cool women who used to share a house with the Worst Person in the World. Then Pitney and our friend Cel chat about the WellRED show in San Antonio (featuring Corey Ryan Forrester, Drew Morgan, and the "Liberal Redneck" Trae Crowder), which Amelia couldn’t attend because she was home with the damn flu. Check out the guys! @CoreyRForrester @drewmorgcomedy @traecrowder We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! https://www.faceb

Join us on a trip down memory lane, as we reminisce about our time in Guatemala! Learn a little about local customs while you laugh at us for being so ridiculous. Food, shopping, "chicken buses," bad plumbing, the most comfortable AND uncomfortable sleeping arrangements, machine guns, and pee. Lots and lots of stories about pee. Plus why Amelia is so attached to a damn stick. ps: "Xela" (pronounced "shayla") is what locals/Mayans call Quetzaltenango. We don't call it that because it's an Aztec name, and the stupid Spanish thought all brown people were the same, and -- you know, you can look that up if you want. We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! https://www.

As we hung out on New Year's Eve, awaiting the frustration of neighborhood fireworks, we talked about how our holidays went, since we hadn't seen each other since our families spent Thanksgiving together! Neither of our Christmases went as planned, but they were still reasonably okay. Hear about Pitney's new obsession and Amelia's Christmas win! Then we fantasized about the best lives we could imagine, pretending that at midnight we could flip a switch and live exactly the life we wanted. Our answers are probably not what you'd think. But they did include a lot of talk about travel, which led us to reminisce about past trips to New York, and OH MY GOD THAT VERITY STORY THAT WAS ALMOST TOO APPALLING TO TELL. We hope you laugh as hard as we do thinking about it! And finally, Milo Yiannopoulos. What a shitbag. We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool

Did you ever regret not buying something that you never saw again? We reminisce about some really good stuff that got away. Then a quick Hatin' on Satan that goes easy on the hatin'! And finally, we talk about genetics vs history. Nature vs nurture. Your DNA vs your family tree. Which is most important? And why do people get them confused? And shouldn't Ben Affleck just nut up and let people hear about how his family had slaveowners in it? And should Pitney get some lederhosen? They ARE pretty cute, even though they're a bit rough on the thighs. (Amelia is a huge fan of Henry Louis Gates' PBS show, Finding Your Roots. You should watch it! http://www.pbs.org/weta/finding-your-roots/home/) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bi

(Part 2 of 2...did you listen to part 1 yet?) Don’t assume that because we don’t agree with you or because you think we’re being callous that we haven’t experienced assault. Because we both have. Multiple times. We share some of those stories in this episode to illustrate various points. TRIGGER WARNING, because we do go into detail. We talk about the difference between men and women, in particular the difference between how gay men approach men vs how straight men approach women. And Pitney even tells a story of the former Doctor Who showrunner who attempted to seduce him when he was a teenager! We promise there are some laughs! Please remember this is a discussion between two people who see the world differently and who have had different experiences. If you hear something you don’t like and you decide we’re horrible people and stop listening, you’re going to miss out on the journey. That’s on you. But if you’d like to continue the conversation, contact us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! And because it’s Chri

There’s a lot of talk, pretty much everywhere you look, about sexual assault, sexual harassment, pedophilia, and general creepiness. We can’t seem to stop talking about it either. This turned into a two-part discussion about all of that, the way it’s being handled in the media, the different ways of looking at the different types of incidents, and the danger of seeing the world in black and white. We touch on (eww) Weinstein, CK, Spacey, Franken, and Roy Moore. (You’ll notice this was recorded before Franken stepped down and before Moore lost the election.) Did you know certain extreme evangelicals groom 14 year old girls for marriage? Amelia apologizes to Sean Young for ever believing the rumors that she was nuts. Pitney recalls the N’Sync guys who were willing to let their manager fellate them to get rich. And we talk about an academic woman who actually claims there’s no such thing as “true consent.” Please remember this is a discussion between two people who see the world differently and who have had diff

Some of those conversations we had for the last episode went on for so long we haven't stopped talking yet! First, a little more about Walking Dead, Xena, and Star Trek. Then dumb people who get offended by cussing. (Fuck them.) The time Pitney called hotel security on his own party, and that other time his bare ass upset a sensitive soul. "A little drag, a little Star Trek." Then we can't help but break into some really old Doctor Who filk songs. Also, Amelia loves Jeff Goldblum and the rest of you bitches need to step aside. Our love of thrift stores (including a quick Verity story!) and the goodies we find there. We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! https://w

It's Thanksgiving time again, and we've got some new tales of gratitude for you! Amelia talks about the radio program that's been inspiring her for almost a quarter century, and a TV show that finally lived up to its potential. Pitney talks about how being fabulous enriches his life and how his friends are the most supportive family anyone could ask for. And we give huge props to the #PodernFamily. They know why! And then somehow there's a story about partying with the Soviet track team. You'll love it. We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/155973321651896/  And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Z

This week is a bit of a mishmash. First, Pitney tells Amelia about the new Kingsmen movie and how the theater he went to was also a church begging for congregants. Creepy. Then Amelia unloads about the new kind of stupid people she's been dealing with at work and how they make her stabbity. And Pitney had a dream so strange it freaked out his therapist! what do YOU think it means? All that and a quickie about Verity Noslen? It feels like Christmas! We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/155973321651896/ And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! https://www.zazz