Pitney & Amelia's Bitchen Boutique

This week’s episode has been combobulated from two recording sessions. Pitney and Amelia discuss laughing at things other people are meh about, becoming our mothers, crazy shit old men say, Skyrim mods that annoy Pitney, and Amelia remembers some cool women who used to share a house with the Worst Person in the World. Then Pitney and our friend Cel chat about the WellRED show in San Antonio (featuring Corey Ryan Forrester, Drew Morgan, and the "Liberal Redneck" Trae Crowder), which Amelia couldn’t attend because she was home with the damn flu. Check out the guys! @CoreyRForrester @drewmorgcomedy @traecrowder We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! https://www.faceb

Join us on a trip down memory lane, as we reminisce about our time in Guatemala! Learn a little about local customs while you laugh at us for being so ridiculous. Food, shopping, "chicken buses," bad plumbing, the most comfortable AND uncomfortable sleeping arrangements, machine guns, and pee. Lots and lots of stories about pee. Plus why Amelia is so attached to a damn stick. ps: "Xela" (pronounced "shayla") is what locals/Mayans call Quetzaltenango. We don't call it that because it's an Aztec name, and the stupid Spanish thought all brown people were the same, and -- you know, you can look that up if you want. We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! https://www.

As we hung out on New Year's Eve, awaiting the frustration of neighborhood fireworks, we talked about how our holidays went, since we hadn't seen each other since our families spent Thanksgiving together! Neither of our Christmases went as planned, but they were still reasonably okay. Hear about Pitney's new obsession and Amelia's Christmas win! Then we fantasized about the best lives we could imagine, pretending that at midnight we could flip a switch and live exactly the life we wanted. Our answers are probably not what you'd think. But they did include a lot of talk about travel, which led us to reminisce about past trips to New York, and OH MY GOD THAT VERITY STORY THAT WAS ALMOST TOO APPALLING TO TELL. We hope you laugh as hard as we do thinking about it! And finally, Milo Yiannopoulos. What a shitbag. We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool

Did you ever regret not buying something that you never saw again? We reminisce about some really good stuff that got away. Then a quick Hatin' on Satan that goes easy on the hatin'! And finally, we talk about genetics vs history. Nature vs nurture. Your DNA vs your family tree. Which is most important? And why do people get them confused? And shouldn't Ben Affleck just nut up and let people hear about how his family had slaveowners in it? And should Pitney get some lederhosen? They ARE pretty cute, even though they're a bit rough on the thighs. (Amelia is a huge fan of Henry Louis Gates' PBS show, Finding Your Roots. You should watch it! http://www.pbs.org/weta/finding-your-roots/home/) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bi

(Part 2 of 2...did you listen to part 1 yet?) Don’t assume that because we don’t agree with you or because you think we’re being callous that we haven’t experienced assault. Because we both have. Multiple times. We share some of those stories in this episode to illustrate various points. TRIGGER WARNING, because we do go into detail. We talk about the difference between men and women, in particular the difference between how gay men approach men vs how straight men approach women. And Pitney even tells a story of the former Doctor Who showrunner who attempted to seduce him when he was a teenager! We promise there are some laughs! Please remember this is a discussion between two people who see the world differently and who have had different experiences. If you hear something you don’t like and you decide we’re horrible people and stop listening, you’re going to miss out on the journey. That’s on you. But if you’d like to continue the conversation, contact us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! And because it’s Chri

There’s a lot of talk, pretty much everywhere you look, about sexual assault, sexual harassment, pedophilia, and general creepiness. We can’t seem to stop talking about it either. This turned into a two-part discussion about all of that, the way it’s being handled in the media, the different ways of looking at the different types of incidents, and the danger of seeing the world in black and white. We touch on (eww) Weinstein, CK, Spacey, Franken, and Roy Moore. (You’ll notice this was recorded before Franken stepped down and before Moore lost the election.) Did you know certain extreme evangelicals groom 14 year old girls for marriage? Amelia apologizes to Sean Young for ever believing the rumors that she was nuts. Pitney recalls the N’Sync guys who were willing to let their manager fellate them to get rich. And we talk about an academic woman who actually claims there’s no such thing as “true consent.” Please remember this is a discussion between two people who see the world differently and who have had diff

Some of those conversations we had for the last episode went on for so long we haven't stopped talking yet! First, a little more about Walking Dead, Xena, and Star Trek. Then dumb people who get offended by cussing. (Fuck them.) The time Pitney called hotel security on his own party, and that other time his bare ass upset a sensitive soul. "A little drag, a little Star Trek." Then we can't help but break into some really old Doctor Who filk songs. Also, Amelia loves Jeff Goldblum and the rest of you bitches need to step aside. Our love of thrift stores (including a quick Verity story!) and the goodies we find there. We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! https://w

It's Thanksgiving time again, and we've got some new tales of gratitude for you! Amelia talks about the radio program that's been inspiring her for almost a quarter century, and a TV show that finally lived up to its potential. Pitney talks about how being fabulous enriches his life and how his friends are the most supportive family anyone could ask for. And we give huge props to the #PodernFamily. They know why! And then somehow there's a story about partying with the Soviet track team. You'll love it. We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/155973321651896/  And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Z

This week is a bit of a mishmash. First, Pitney tells Amelia about the new Kingsmen movie and how the theater he went to was also a church begging for congregants. Creepy. Then Amelia unloads about the new kind of stupid people she's been dealing with at work and how they make her stabbity. And Pitney had a dream so strange it freaked out his therapist! what do YOU think it means? All that and a quickie about Verity Noslen? It feels like Christmas! We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/155973321651896/ And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! https://www.zazz

Happy Halloween and a Blessed Samhain to you all! Get ready for an episode jam-packed with Halloween goodies! Amelia teaches you about why stereotypical witches wear pointy black hats, have brooms and cats, and boil things in cauldrons! And Pitney teaches us all sorts of crazy things about bats! Plus we debut two new semi regular segments: Hatin' on Satan (a look at people who blame Satan for everything they don't like) and Bitchen in the Kitchen (an exploration of recipes and cooking tips)! All this, and a Halloween story about The Worst Person in the World? Why not! You've been good little boys and girls and whatnot! Enjoy! We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group

It's Friday the 13th! Are you superstitious? Even a little bit? Pitney and Amelia discuss all the weird superstitious things they do, even if they have no idea why. Knocking on wood, not stepping on a crack, praying to st Anthony, not opening umbrellas indoors, and some really goofy ones. And then, in honor of Friday the 13th, Pitney shares a Jason Voorhees find with Amelia that makes her jump up and run around the room for a bit. You will be disgusted, but you'll laugh, we promise. And the Jason talk leads to Freddy talk, which leads to Verity. Because all roads lead to Verity Noslen. We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/1559733

Did you hear about the woman who lost her job because she got her period at work? Amelia is pissed off, and thinks if women talked about their periods more often and with more people, someday men wouldn't be so scared and dumb about such a basic biological reality. And guess who else lost her job because of her period? (Well, sorta.) Verity. You'll love it. And Pitney hates seeing movies in public. Movie theaters infuriate him. Mostly because of people who think they have the right to move and make sounds. We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that anno

Amelia realized that Pitney's dog Joxer had been in several episodes (barking and snuffling and squeaky toys and whatnot) so she decided to bring her dog Spike into the room. Not necessarily the best idea, but it's his turn to be famous. Star Wars. We love it. Really we do. But it can stand to be criticized and picked apart. You might be surprised which episodes are Pitney's favorites and which he can do without. Why Amelia actually likes a lot of The Phantom Menace. And what Verity Noslen thinks of the acting in Star Wars. And finally, an update about the Kellers! Find out what's happened to the couple from Austin who was jailed for bogus Satanic Panic claims. (Learn more about them in our old episode, Fear the Satanic Boullion http://bitchenb.libsyn.com/fear-the-satanic-bouillon) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones

The death of Chester Bennington affected Pitney more profoundly than he expected. He's attended memorials all over Texas (at the time of this recording, he had only gone to one) and has found the outpouring of love and support inspiring. We talk about Chester and Linkin Park and what their music means to Pitney. And we talk about other artists, such as David Bowie, Michael Jackson, Joni Mitchell, Prince, and George Harrison, and how some music becomes a part of your soul and changes your life. We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, peopl

Pitney and Amelia discuss the proper way to fold a bath towel and make a bed. Do you go longways or crossways? Do your nice sides touch? Do you throw sixteen pillows on the floor every night? These things are important! Tick talk. We talk ticks. And fleas. And sing about them. And it's all Tricia's fault. Then Amelia tells the story of what clogged an 80 year old sewer pipe. And just what DID happen to that broom handle? We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and

Pitney interviews Kerrville “Kerrverts” Iris and Marie. The joys of face and body painting (and the sorrows of using the wrong kind of paint), what gets you attached to certain events and draws you back year after year, and their weirdest memories of this pretty-weird festival. Amelia has comments and questions, and the answer to one question makes her scream in horror. (Here’s some hints: vampires and werewolves and TOO WEIRD FOR THE RANCH.) You KNOW you want to know what that’s about! We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we

Sometimes little things can set off the strangest conversations! Amelia read an article to Pitney about Breatharians (idiots who think we're going to believe they never eat food and live instead off of "cosmic energy"), and then the discussion turned to the crazy woo-woo things some people believe. And a woman who is a bit too close to her wolf pelts. And how Tricia Von Lichtenstein used to draw rather wolf-themed erotic art, featuring herself and Blackie Lawless, the lead singer of WASP. And then, of course, we couldn't help but talk about how ridiculous WASP is. And we laughed and laughed. We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about

Pitney is back from the Kerrville Folk Festival, where he had a marvelous time and interviewed a bunch of crazy Kerrverts! He shares his interview with Joel and Jordan, while he and Amelia interject from time to time with comments that take them off into their typical tangents! Renfaire, the douchebags of Coachella, multi-hole latrines, Paris Hilton, you name it! And we didn't get permission in time to use this awesome song about the festival by Neale Eckstein (@fxrn), but we want you to hear it anyway! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEy_UJ5T0NI We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stori

Sometimes hip and happening means old-school and over. Why would Austin decide its airport needed to go back in time? And do the super-cool lack sweat glands? Pitney and Amelia question the sanity behind some weird new developments at ABIA. Then we kvetch about how Austin has changed over the years, and how you can't still claim you're a city for artists and musicians when none of them can afford to live here. Not to mention the detrimental affect the lack of trashy slackers has on one's sex life. OH NO IT'S A TIME WARP! Suddenly it's last month, the day before Texas Frightmare, and we're sitting in the bar of the Hyatt regency DFW gushing about how much we love that hotel. We've had so many great memories over the years at various conventions, including Verity Noslen's WEDDING. Not kidding, you guys. We were just as shocked as all of you. We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a s

What's Pitney's favorite word? What's Amelia's least favorite sound? This week, we took the Bernard Pivot Questionnaire, better known as that thing James Lipton does at the end of Inside the Actors' Studio. We learned some stuff about ourselves and each other! Then we peruse the Photo Gallery on the Mar-A-Lago website (http://www.maralagoclub.com) and make comments about what we see. You would not believe how furious Amelia gets looking at Trump's curtains. Or maybe you would! We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known