Delight Your Marriage

Frequently, men are craving intimacy more than their wives. If you're in that category, then this podcast will help you.    I have some very important lifestyle and in-the-moment advice for you when you are in the mood but she is not.    These are productive things you can do. And if you know me at all, I'm rooting for generous and fiery passion in your marriage, but... how do you get there?   Some of my advice may seem like it's not moving you in that direction. However, you may be surprised that when you become more the man God wants you to become--in the context of your marriage--your wife naturally is drawn to that. Intimately.    Lots of goodness in this podcast and I think it will help a lot of men get a vision of how to shift things long-term and even in the moment when they are desiring her.   Blessings, Belah   PS... For the free Men's Training coming at the end of March, go to delightyourmarriage.com/menstraining   For the free advice training for men who want to invite their wives to lis

Sex motivates us to be the men and women He wants us to be.    Men have to discipline themselves to be more like Jesus for her to want to have sex with him. For a woman to desire sex, she has to be at peace, confident, and aligned with God's priorities in who/what gets her time.    So, this podcast is directed towards women because often women are the organizers and they are the ones who tend to struggle to have passion. But what if there was a way to actually organize your life so that passion is a consistent desire and fulfilling activity?    That's what I want to talk to you about.   As Jesus followers, we are invited to do things that aren't the societal norms.    I think that passion for women is fairly "natural" for the first 2-3 years of a relationship/marriage. And after that it requires intentionality.    She just stops feeling it... nothing against that specific husband necessarily, she switches to life, busyness, mom - mode. And the attracting-that-guy-mode which heightened libido fades.   BUT! A

Darcy is a busy business owner, mother, and grandmother--married 28 years.  She loves God and has had a better than average marriage all that time. A friend of hers invited her to listen to the podcast--saying it had brought them to tears.  And when she listened, she too was brought to tears with a very different understanding of intimacy than she had ever realized.  God did an utter miracle in her heart and her marriage. For days she had a voracious appetite for intimacy with her husband. She says it gave her insight into how a man feels all the time. And she feels a oneness with him she's never felt previously. Her husband changed! His low-grade depression disappeared! He is becoming a better father and man of faith. He is thriving before her eyes. Their daughter even asked: "Mom, what happened to dad??" If you're a wife, I encourage you to listen with an open heart. God may want to speak to you through Darcy's story of love for Jesus. Which fueled a change of heart towards her husband.  I encourage you, if

I love new years because everything feels fresh and energized. Even though practically speaking it's the same as every other day, you just have to start training yourself to use a new number at the end of your dates. But I am all about using whatever energy there is to increase my chances of growth and change--in God's will.  So, that's what today's podcast is about. Becoming stronger in your vision. It's about realizing that you're going to stand before Jesus and He'll be curious what you did with your days, which lead to weeks, which lead to years and then decades. We must be cautious about how we spend our time, and spend it in priority to God's will.  I will show you the specific document I have used since 2013 and review at least quarterly to align my life with how I perceive God wants me to live.  I will also discuss the process I use to discern God's will for my life every quarter. Because I think we need to be considering God's will consistently in our lives and move towards it more and more every day

There are too many marriages flirting with divorce. You may be one, if not you probably know several. Maybe you're at a spot where you don't want to be there.  ...you want to run away.  ...you're exhausted.  ...your spirit is broken.  Maybe you've only ever thought it or maybe you've admitted it to others.  I want to invite you to take the power you have to see that there may be a real strategy to get this thing turned around. The podcast I released is a roadmap on how to get to a place this thing turned aroundce where you maybe, could possibly want to stay married.  It's not easy when you have been beaten down, neglected, rejected, controlled... What can you do?  I want to give you 5 Steps that if followed in order, can quite possibly save your marriage and actually make you want to stay in it! I don't have to convince you that your life (your kids' lives...) would be better if your marriage became healthy and loving again.  I hope you'll take the encouragement to focus on this and make these import

When we have a warm, loving culture in a family, passionate intimacy is the result. Or is it the cause? -- If you're listening to this in the present, our world is in many challenges and the holidays may look different than they ever have for your family. How can we see this as a gift? If you're a husband...  ​-you have an opportunity to shift the culture of your marriage to one that attracts your wife towards frequency, engagement, and freedom in intimacy.  If you're a wife...  ​-you have an opportunity to shift your intimate interactions to one which attracts your husband to be a man of the fruits of the spirit, romantic, and the spiritual leader. Either party can make important changes.  ​​But changes are hard and risky. Risking looking silly. Risking being laughed at or judged because this is outside of your "norm". ​​Luckily in the midst of the challenge, there is a huge opportunity to redefine your "norm". Redefine the culture of your marriage.  ​ ​​Making a culture that actually brings you

My conversation today is with a wife who had a persistent husband.    After he worked on himself (!) he highly encouraged her to work with me in a program. At first, she wasn't happy about it and she felt pushed into it. But through the process of understanding who her husband is... different than who she is, she discovered that God may be asking of her something that she didn't expect.  For wives: if you feel "pushed," (assuming there's not abuse and your husband is a good man) Diana's encouragement is to come at it with an open mind. "What do you have to lose? ...Your marriage"  I believe this conversation is one you won't want to miss!   For wives... Right now I have FREE training series for wives: Seductive Confidence, you can get it at delightyourmarriage.com/sc (Be sure to sign up right now so you can have access to the training!) For husbands: here's some free advice if you'd like to invite your wife to listen to my trainings: delightyourmarriage.com/advice

This is part 2 with my husband where we're talking about what seduction means to men.  Husbands: I encourage you to "catch" my husband's heart. That's what's so attractive. That spirit is what encourages me to be generous in the ways my husband desires.  If you want more insight, on how to introduce your wife to my material, I have a special FREE Advice for Men To Invite Their Wives training.    Wives: If you're a wife and want to get access to a FREE training called Seductive Confidence Masterclass. I am excited to encourage more women to grow in their God-given right to be free, playful, and loving through intimacy!   Blessings, Belah

Hi there,    Today is extra special because I have on the most amazing man I've ever met. Ehemm... my husband. :) If you want to know why I am the way I am (well, regarding the generous things in intimacy), it's because this gentleman loved me really, really well and continues to every day.   It's not necessarily intuitive, but it is God's way.   This conversation will be instructive for wives -- who feel insecure and challenged by seduction -- and husbands -- who want to be pursued with playful and fierceness.   For men - You'll find out that gentleness and compassion are the keys to her heart as well as specifically what to say to her that makes her want to make you happy intimately.  For women - You'll hear from a really good man, what seduction means to him and why it's important.    If you'd like to get a free download of some of my favorite seduction tips, you can go to delightyourmarriage.com/tips and you'll be signed up for the Free Training on Seductive Confidence coming soon! Blessings,  Belah

As a wife, this is something I really struggled with.   Why would he want me to do such embarrassing things? Does it remind him of sin? I don't want to be associated with his past. Also, it's not my personality.  And in general, I'm not comfortable.    I had SO many more hang-ups around this.    But, one thing kept knawing at me. Why is this all over our society?   Specifically seduction. Yes, the act is in certain movies and x-rated things that I don't watch. But seduction is almost unavoidable (even in PG-13 movies). Whether it's a glance, a teasing, and revealing advertisement...it's everywhere and unavoidable.   It's in every culture all around the world.    Yesterday, I received an email that Delight Your Marriage is ranked as the #1 Podcast in the categories of Sexuality as well as the category of Health & Wellness in several African countries which (is really cool!) means that culture doesn't make a difference.   These philosophies go across cultures and all over the globe.   Why does seduction mat

If you're new to Delight Your Marriage, this is the first episode you should listen to.   Many people come to my resources with a question on how to make their marriage better but they really don't know where to start.    This is a rundown on the most important philosophical underpinnings of Delight Your Marriage.   This gives the best introduction to the foundational principles that I use with people from all over the world--by God's grace--to transform their marriages and families.   Just a few things included:  What a husband needs and what a wife needs to feel fulfilled in a marriage Why intimacy is so important to a husband and that's reflected in the brain's physiology  Why, I believe, God made men & women's drives so different The underlying reasons emotional and physical intimacy isn't strong in a marriage When people are struggling in their marriage they often get advice which makes it all worse. What's the missing piece? Strategy. Listen in and go to delightyourmarriage.com/resources to find o

So, today's a pretty important day. And you may listen to this in the future which will be relevant.    More than ever, our land is divided and we have strong convictions on right and wrong. In Jesus' day political issues based on power, oppression, greed, and con... plagued everyone he interacted with. They were impacted at a personal level.   Jesus' sights were different than those experiencing political suffering. He taught us how to love from our hearts. He brought enemies together to pursue God's kingdom over an earthly kingdom.    I don't know what is going to happen in this election. I know I voted according to my convictions.   More importantly, I know that if the other side wins, God is still my King. He is bigger than me. His timeline is far bigger than the number of years I am on this earth.    So, if the next 4 years needs to look different than I hoped, I will not take that out on God.   Because He knows better than I do. Instead, I will pray for those who I might consider enemies right now. I wi

Hi there!   I hope things are going well for you. I have an inspirational story to share with you today. It's a story of challenge and ultimately hope and healing.    Alexis and Justin (re-definingnormal.com) grew up in homes that had significant abuses, including sexual and drug abuse. By societal expectations, they wouldn't have gotten through that pain.   But God intervened. Both went through the foster care system and by God's grace, amazing things have changed for them. AND they're now founders of organizations that help others who have gone through similar challenges.   They've written a book about their story and today, we focus on how Justin helped his wife heal from her trauma by his reliance on the Lord.   My encouragement is to listen in and be encouraged and inspired to continue your journey. And I think it will encourage you that people like Justin and Alexis are doing amazing things for people---Jesus' hands in the earth.     Check out all the links we reference here!   Blessings, Belah   PS I

I'd like to give you a view of communication that isn't repressing feelings but also isn't open with all of them, at least not all at once. And when you are open slowly, you are in a way that encourages the good rather than discouraging everything. I think in our fast-paced society nowadays, we feel this inappropriate pressure to share all the feelings we have about a topic (sex is a big one!) with our spouse because we need to get that checked off of our mental burden list. Or we need to finally unload or get it off our chest. So we pile on all these painful complaints, criticisms, and unacknowledged feelings all at once. And it causes huge divisions between partners and can take years to heal, if at all. My encouragement in today's podcast is to think of your relationship not as a 30-minute conversation but as a 90-year conversation. There is no need to address everything right now. There is a need to be respectful, kind, gentle, grateful, and loving in all your communication with your spouse. When that is

Hi there,    This podcast is for men (or the women who want to peer inside of hearts of men) it's all about the specific Stages to Sexual Freedom that a husband can employ to transform his marriage---even if he's the only one doing the work.   If you're an action-taker once you know the process you're going to start and fix this once and for all, this is the podcast for you.   I believe that those who listen will feel empowered to do what God wants them to do in their marriage to truly transform it.    In the second half of the episode I'll be sharing more about the Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy, and love being married again program.   We'll even hear from Vikas who went from a sex-starved frustrated marriage with a young child to a place where she often initiates 3+ times per week and she doesn't' even know he did the program.    To learn more about the program he went through, go to delightyourmarriage.com/mrsp    Blessings, Belah     Enrollment is open now but won't be open

This interview is with a man who had suffered in intimacy in his marriage for 14 years.  She had intense anxiety (I've been there!) and it made intimacy very difficult for both of them. Sex would happen maybe 1x a month, but it was never something they could talk about. And masturbation was something he turned to alleviate the loneliness.  Now they make love 3x per week--and she initiates 90% of the time! That is a manifestation of both of their courage and healing for both of them. What happened? Well, it all started with Steve the rooster. This is a good story. So... Step #1 - Buy a rooster Step #2 - Invite your mom over Step #3 - Just kidding... :P  But, there are fantastic keys in his story and the process they went through to get to the other side.   One important note I share at the end: If you are a husband and you want your marriage transformed like Captain's be sure you...  ...don't accidentally undermine your wife's confidence. That is exactly the topic I'll be speaking to

Hi there,   Not sure if it was for you... but for me it was a whirlwind of a weekend. I put on a church conference on Saturday (in Spanish--eek!) which was scary, but God came through in an awesome way, which was so cool!   Also, on Friday I had the chance to interview 3 different graduates from my Masculinity Reclaimed program. Today's podcast is of Charles.  His story is hard to believe---but one that will surely give you hope.    To be transparent, I have 2 ulterior motives for sharing his story:   1- To invite you to my Free & Live Men's Masterclass coming up really soon, sign up here: www.delightyourmarriage.com/menstraining My prayer is that men's lives are utterly and forever changed just by attending the Free Men's Masterclass Live.   And possibly, deciding after that training to enroll in the Masculinity Reclaimed program, which is what Charles went through.  But my plan on the Free Men's Masterclass is not going to  be a "hide-the-ball" presentation, but to genuinely help your marriage turn a

Hi there,    If you're going through hard times, this is particularly applicable because we need a lot of love right now. The right kind of compassion and care from our spouse and those around us.      The best way to encourage your spouse is to attract them. I find it clear in the Bible that people have to be attracted towards Jesus by us living like him. Jesus did miracles and was compassionate to people before he ever rebuked them.    Jesus dealt with people differently based on where they were spiritually. When someone was demon possessed he healed them and didn't rebuke them for dabbling in  whatever caused the possession. However, when the rich young ruler who practiced righteousness--and clearly was at a different place spiritually--came and asked about eternal life, Jesus let him know he needed to give all he had to the poor.    Jesus calls us higher, based on where we are right now. And it's unique to each individual. If he spoke to the demon-possessed man like he did the rich young ruler, the demon-

Hi there! Hoping your day is going well? There's a lot of difficulty you may be facing right now, and one of the best gifts I can give you is rest. Well, not me but God. It seems strange to think rest could help you cope with the intense struggle you're dealing with, but you may be quite surprised. I'd like to share a podcast episode that is dear to my heart and my growth. Why does rest matter to your life? Well, Jesus by no means hurried through life. He practiced Sabbath. He enjoyed His day to day life. Even children wanted to be around Him.   If we're stressed we don't spend the time to connect with our partner in a meaningful way, in or out of the bedroom. For women, usually stress kills her libido but can increase her need for emotional connection. For men, it often makes them crave the release sex brings but he has low capacity to be present to her emotions. How can any of us not stress? There are bills to be paid, kids to raise, food to prepare, chores to accomplish every single day.  Rest doesn