Boners Of The Heart Podcast

SPONSORED BY KARMA COLA Rose is concerned she may be murdered during the recording of this podcast and Alice is grapling with her rage issues. A declaration of war against another Little Empire podcast is announced and a discussion on the sexual habits of the elderly ensues. But ultimately, this is a show dedicated to the hotness of The Obamas. Please enjoy. Trailer: The Worst Idea of All Time  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

SPONSORED BY KARMA COLA Your girls are BACK, BABIES! Season Three kicks off by returning to the Boner roots - human beings that Rose and Alice would like to bone. This week, political targets. Former US Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney, US Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, that teacher from Glee (OK, not 100% political). Also up for discussion - Does this podcast pass the Bechdel Test yet? Has Alice been brainwashed by the feminist agenda and what crazy diet is she on? How did Rose get on when trying to befriend some random Chicagoans? (Spoiler: not well). If you're favourite pair of self-esteem challenged podcast hosts bringing you the good word in the world of Boning. Trailer: Worst Idea of All Time  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

SPONSORED BY KARMA COLA In this final episode of the Boners of The Mind season, Rose and Alice are sharing their greatest fears on the poddy. Heights, air travel, dogs, regretting not having kids, regretting HAVING kids - It's all there. We also are privy to Rose's mum's celebrity crush, Alice's extensive medical history and a lot of talk about anuses. Shout outs to Harry Styles, the team who made Bridesmaids and the concept of farting one's self to death. Trailer: The Worst Idea of All Time  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

SPONSORED BY KARMA COLAAfter an unintended interruption in the flow of episodes, ya gals are back. Rose is hot out the gate with a big ol’ sleepy humble brag before launching into insecurities she has with her face. In an ill-considered move for the audio podcast, there’s a lot of analysis about our hosts’ faces look like while smiling. Alice proudly wears the mantle of being described as ‘intimidating’ while leader of the Matafans makes her choice between being seen as ineffective or angry. Shout outs to Lara Flynn Boyle, Calista Flockhart and Cher – plus a drop in phone call from Joey! Trailer: The Worst Idea of All Time  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

SPONSORED BY KARMA COLA Alice attempts desparately to hold in a fart while trying to match Rose's vocal range (both singing and accent work). The gals are looking for Australians who've been fingering their girlfriend at a bar. Is that you? Call now! Rose and Alice move into more high brow territory to discuss the possibility of gas effecting serious court decisions (To Kill A Mocking Bird) and great speeches (both MLK and Lincoln). Plus the myriad issues of Ted Bundy's good looks.We al get a bit smarter from some case law via Alice a very scary story to boot.We interrupt this podcast recording to bring you A MURDERER AT THE DOOR (maybe). Rose and Alice then get so grimmed out by all the murder talk that they transition into chats about high school, teenaged boozing and also, childhood boozing.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

SPONSORED BY KARMA COLA (NOW IN CHILLI COLA FLAVOUR)How are your nipples? No time for that because we have some huge philosophical questions to discuss. And by discuss, we of course mean mangle the articulation of and proceed to veer wildly off track from answering. Here's what is important though; We shouldn't be listening to Ayn Rand, Rose will kill Subway employees given half a chance and Alice would love to open an anarchic village bakery. Also, a in this ep, Philosophy Lightning Round featuring Bill Gates wallet and pig whipping. Trailer: The Male Gayz  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

SPONSORED BY KARMA COLA In this third episode of the Boners of The Mind series, Alice and Rose set out to answer whether human nature exists. Is there such a thing? Does nature or nurture form you? Let's not spend TOO long on that because we need to find out if Rose is a psychopath or just a lateral thinker, whether the $8 magic potion Alice drunk from a crystal loving 'spiritual woman' is legit and what Tom Hanks' little known medical condition is. Plus how young is tragically young to be on a diet? Is beauty objective? And finally, will your body plug itself if you have a period and go into water? LET'S FIND OUT in the latest Boners of The Mind. Trailer: The Males Gayz  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

SPONSORED BY KARMA COLA Alice and Rose jump head first into one of the biggest questions of all: Does God exist? Along the way, we learn about Alice's drug trial days (wherein she ignored literally every safety rule they set), find out what the coolest religion is, discover what Rose's farts sound like and get a reasonable offer for the heavenly Father to attend a potluck dinner. Plus Joey's on the blower!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

SPONSORED BY KARMA COLA Welcome to season two of Boners of The Heart: Boners of The Mind. Rose and Alice are back and better than ever as they get distracted in record time while trying to tackle heady issues. This episode: Capitalism v Communism gets quickly railroaded in favour of a chat about conspiracies from Rastafarians, how Rose will be remembered when she dies and wild guesses at how long humans have left on the planet.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

SPONSORED BY KARMA COLAIt's been a good run but now in this final episode of season one, Rose and Alice tried to make up on lost time spent talking about men with a selection of lovely ladies that get them hot under the collar. Susan Sarandon, Eva Mendes and Julia Roberts enter the fray, as does a light hearted discussion on the nature of motherhood and whether or not you actually need to have kids anymore. Can't Alice just be a maternal figure to her nieces and nephews? Is she allowed to call the WiFi whatever she wants? Should a woman have a child out of politeness to her partner? All these issues and more are tackled by two infinitely unqualified souls who are just trying suss out their b*ners.    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

SPONSORED BY KARMA COLA It's a Spade off, David vs James (...Spader)! The original SneddHead (Alice herself) is being distracted finger blasting her own bun anus while head MataFan (Rose) drools over Joe Dirt, sex scenes from Pretty Women and men with iron deficiencies. There's a full roster of callers to the podcast this week including returns from Jenny AND Joey plus a new trucker driving man on the scene, Tommy. Also featured this week; An incredible lack of self esteem from your favourite show's hosts (this is your favourite show) and some very strong opinions about therapists and their terrible, terrible relationships.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

SPONSORED BY KARMA COLA! Gather round the living room because it's time for another Boners listening party. This week Rose and Alice tackle the real issues; namely who would you wanna bone within the parametres of Men Who Have Fictionally Seduced and Had Sex With Meryl Streep. In a movie. Kevin Kline (at a spritely 68 years young) goes head-to-head against Dustin Hoffman (79, but who's counting?). Special drop ins from Jeff Goldblum and caller, Tommy, who joins us for an alternative point of view on things. Some great character work in this ep. Thank you to all the celebs who turned in.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

SPONSORED BY KARMA COLA The 1993 Mike Myers romcom 'So I Married an Axe Murderer' seems to be the loose-fitting theme for today’s discussion of unexpected celebrity hotties. In this exciting third instalment, we learn a little more about our podcasting bossom buddies (introducing three things Alice will always tell you about herself, as told by Rose) and get a highly conditional endorsement of #FreeTheNipple.Rose’s Mike Myers poster that she’d kiss goodnight and Alice’s one-on-one basketball sexual fantasy is accompanied by a lot of accent work in this episode. Hope you like Anthony LaPaglia and Al Pacino's hair - those these gals sure do!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

SPONSORED BY KARMA COLA! This week Rose and Alice are tackling crushes of their awakward teenage years. We're talking first ever on-screen titties, suprisingly heart throb (and family fav) Juge Reinhold and the boringness of Leonardo DiCaprio being a choice of the teenage heart. Today's callers to the show include Bob and Judy as the battle of the #Snedheads v #Matafans really starts to heat up. There's some big revelations this week, including Rose's phone number and both our hosts' early email addresses. Listen with an open teenage heart.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Welcome to Boners of The Heart, brought to you by Karma Cola. NZ comedians Rose Matafeo and Alice Snedden are here to chat about... well, a few things. With an intention to tackle their weird celebrity crushes (is Rick Moranis a legit heart throb?) and unlikely sex dreams (Danny DeVito), this set of very funny gal pals explore a lot about themselves. Did you hate university cause people actually wanted to learn there? (Rose did) Did you ever accidentally go to The Prodigy instead of Neil Young cause you were on too many drugs? (Alice did) Have a listen, subscribe and for the love of god, follow Alice on Twitter to get her some numbers (@AliceSnedden).  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Congratulations, you've found Boners of The Heart. An about-to-be-launched podcast hosted by Rose Matafeo and Alice Snedden. Subscribe now!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.