Boners Of The Heart Podcast

Sponsored by KARMA COLAAlice and Rose have intended to throw down on war heroes but the theme is (once again) quickly disregarded to dig into Rose's potential hypochondria/lupus and Alice's sexual attraction to Julia Roberts. Matafans and Snedheads gather round because your hosts are also rating each other as people. This itself, is quickly railroaded by a deep dive into Shania Twain's bio which is truly, incredibly sad. Enjoy!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sponsored by KARMA COLA Rose and Alice are back and by their own admission, this isn't their best work. In this week, your pals discuss the horrificness of famed a'hole John Cleese and ponder whether the pair have been missed while on podcast hiatus. Alice has obtained a new TV and dish washer, meanwhile Rose discovered time travel and has had a set of bored older people attend her live comedy shows at Edinburgh. Kate Winslet is a recent addition to the sh*t list and someone doesn't know both Biff (Back To The Future) and HAL (2001). Find out who in this exciting return Boner ep!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sponsored by KARMA COLA An episode filled with animus, unknown body liquids on leather seats and Rose and Alice going at it harder than ever before. Snedden claims to have an inhumanly acute sense of smell and Matafeo isn't going to take that BS. A rousing round of Hot or Not follows a stupid amount of time digging through the rulebook of the old game and frankly, it gets a bit abusive toward the end. Enjoy.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sponsored by KARMA COLA Oh god, what is going on with Alice's back pain? Most likely endometriosis, surely. Rose gets stuck into her favourite websites this episode and there is some truly dark entries. But then it's on to the big questions; How old is too old to have kids? Are children simply a personal vanity project anyway? Would you want your offspring to be hotter than you? Also, a fantastic new caller enters the fray. And you can call him Al.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Wimbledon 2017 has died down but the boners rage on, with Alice and Rose spilling the deets on their favourite tennis playing crushes. Alice speaks on her love of hairy/angry men of the court, the girls figure out if Enrique Iglesias' small penis is #fakenews and in a BoTH first, Rose sheds actual genuine tears while retelling an Oprah makeover video she saw on YouTube.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sponsored by KARMA COLA This week the girls choose which movie villains make them weak at the knees/pussies. Alice discusses her attraction to a Charlie's Angels era Crispin Glover, while Rose goes quite deep into a relationship fantasy with Hans Gruber from Die Hard. Hot-Yes and Hot-Not is back (along with all updated rules) and Rose receives a letter midway through this podcast (not an exciting one).  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Rose and Alice are back after a hiatus to chat about getting wrinkles and starting neighbouring Bed n Breakfasts by the sea. Also blood in stool, how do you deal with that? Possibly not how Alice did! Author Fran Lebowitz, actor Catherine Keener, perennial activist Susan Sarandon and Mexico's most hated daughter; who among them would Snedden and Matafeo settle down with? Only one way to find out. And that is wading through this almost hour long catch up ep.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sponsored by KARMA COLA Rose and Alice are back, floating a pretty explicit sound women everywhere should be using to signify their appreciation of a good lookin man. Alice doesn't know how to ask for a butt massage but boy, does she need one. And the fight of the hour is: architecture enthusiast Brad Pitt v the evergreen Robert Redford. Undercard match: Sex and The City v Sex in The City. Trailer: The Worst Idea of All Time  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sponsored by KARMA COLA No attempt at a description could do this epiosde justice so just enjoy a very sauced Alice and Rose talking about stage actors and their buttholes. Trailer: Walk Out Boys  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sponsored by KARMA COLA and COMEDYFESTIVAL.CO.NZ Recorded live in Q Theatre in Central Auckland, this episode was taped hot off of Rose reading a pretty mixed review for her Comedy Festival show. NZ comedy darling Madeleine Sami sits down with her and Alice to council Rose on this review and then discuss the comparative sexual proess of the cast of the TV series FRIENDS. Trailer: The Male Gayz  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sponsored by KARMA COLA and COMEDYFESTIVAL.CO.NZ Welcome to this live episode of Boners of The Heart recorded live in Auckland's Basement Theatre, live. There's a bunch of great visual gags, several phone call and a whole bunch of audience suggested boners to assess. So let's get to it! Trailer: Walk Out Boys  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Rose and Alice are back to ID-checking the age appropriateness of their TV crushes as they explore the teen heart throb laiden world of the Archie Comics inspired Netflix series, Riverdale. Also in this ep; leaving a legacy through Instagram, much more gas-lighting and a phone call from a time travelling Rose Matafeo. Lots of chatter about death plus a brand new game to find out who the leaders of the Snedhead and Matafan Armies would bone! Trailer: The Male Gayz  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sponsored by COMEDYFESTIVAL.CO.NZ This is Quality Content. Recorded in a hotel room in Melbourne, Rose is sick and Alice is concerned she keeps beating up on successful women. Amongst the angst and sniffles, the gals chat about the unmistakable greatness of Toni Collette, the strange allure of Steve Busscemi in a backbrace, and run through a not-so-rapid fire round of Hot or Not of stand up comedians. Plus Alice has a fab story of a man crapping his pants on the D Floor. A+ stuff, really. Trailer: Walk Out Boys  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

An amazing one-off Little Empire event, live from Melbourne - Rose and Alice join forces with Tim and Guy from The Worst Idea of All Time to watch the Zac Efron movie WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS and talk about in front of 150 paying strangers.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sponsored by KARMA COLA The fight club is: EVERYONE IS WELCOME. Alice and Rose spend an extended amount of time discussing who would win in a physical fight between the pair and things get HEATED. Rose celebrates someone else's celebration of her feet, and to be clear, that's in a fetishy kind of way. Matthew Broderick, John Stamos, Scott Baio, Michael J Fox are pawed over and Alice delves into scientology. This some dicey content on this one, get while it while the takes are hot. Trailer: The Worst Idea of All Time  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sponsored by KARMA COLA Welcome to Trump's Podcast, sponsored by Breitbart.com and the rest of the Alt Right. Hot or Not is a disaster straight out the gate, the girls are at each other’s throats but Nat King Cole almost brings the girls together (but doesn't). Rose and Alice compete for title of Most Powerful Ovaries before heading into the real meat of this ep – a 4 way phone call with Rod Stewart and Michael Bublé. Trailer: Walk Out Boys  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

SPONSORED BY KARMA COLA There's a bit of passive agressive energy coming in early on this one, folks. Rose is feling very depressed after a night of drinking, Alice is terrified after catching herself topless in the mirror. A new host drops into the show by the name of Steph or Margo or Ronda or something. Eventually, your #1 gals discuss the relative merits of late night talk hosts and David Letterman's intern intercourse. Trailer: The Worst Idea of All Time  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

SPONSORED BY KARMA COLA A live episode recorded at the Poddy Fest 2017 in Auckland's Backbeat bar. Featuring Male Gay(z) Eli Mathewson and Rose live (at the time) via Skype on her birthday! The girls get to quiz a real life boy on what a real life boner feels like. Eli joins the Hot or Not, Yes or No, Magnetic or Shamgatic Rapid Fire Round and Alice recounts celebrity stalking stories including waiting outside Lady Gaga's hotel. Rose gets inspired and puts black tape on her boobs, Gaga-style. Plus What is up with Chris Martin's wardrobe and who did Alanis Morriset go down on in a movie? Trailer: The Male Gayz  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

SPONSORED BY KARMA COLA Originator of Fake News herself, Alice Snedden is joined by Musical expert and pro-lonely person Rose Matafeo to dissect their fav musical crushes. We've got Egyptian hottie Omar Sherif. We're got the epic tush of Gene Kelly. Discussions of sleeping with David Attenborough don't go as expected and there's a chance to sympathise with the No. 1 #SneddHead (Rose) via a charming a ancedote about f'ing up going to a live musical in London's West End with a friend.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

SPONSORED BY KARMA COLA Oh boy, grab your rosary beads and say your Hail Marys because this is one seriously blasphemous boner! Featuring phone calls from the big guy upstairs Herself(I guess) and questions about Jesus' net worth. Rose is trying to pash the Virgin Mary at a house party and we're all going to hell. Enjoy.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.