Simply Abundant Intuitive

You find out your partner is cheating the same day your bathroom floods. Then you call your friend on the way to the hardware store and get rear ended. We’ve all had days like that (ok, maybe not exactly like that!), but those days or series of days where the world feels like it’s conspiring against you. And of course, the first question you ask is WHY? What did you do to deserve this? It feels like your life is falling apart before your eyes. We like to believe that if we’re good girls and boys, life will go our way. Unfortunately, that’s not how things work. Sometimes the s**t hits the fan. Not because you’re bad, but because life does life. I have been challenged with this lately with my husband in the hospital. I can control my thoughts, my actions, my feelings and my words, but I can’t control life. I can’t pick and choose the outcomes I want. In this week’s episode we’ll talk about that desire for control and letting go of it. How to look at what you’re holding onto and why. How to be emotionally prese

You have probably heard some version of “what you think, you create.” Meaning your thoughts create your reality. If your love life feels like a train wreck (or any part of your life, really), this can be a scary idea. Are you creating the situation you don’t want by ruminating on negative thoughts? By constantly thinking there are no “good ones” out there, are you actually making it true? Well… yes and no. Thoughts play a role, but they are not the only factor. Trying to simply stop the thoughts or replace them with positive affirmations doesn’t make them go away. It runs much deeper than that. In this week’s podcast we’ll talk about everything that exists between thoughts and actions, and where to focus if you want to change your situation. Believing your reality is only caused by your thoughts is limiting and untrue. If you want to change what isn’t working, you need to look at your emotions, beliefs, motivation, words and actions that stem from your thoughts. The good news is if you do this, you absolutel

Did you grow up feeling you were too much, not enough, too nice, too cold, too sensitive, too shy, too annoying, too inquisitive or too ANYTHING? Basically, instead of being loved for your whole self, did you feel like you were simply tolerated? Maybe you wondered, throughout your life, if people even liked being around you because those too much/not enough beliefs were always with you. So, to move from tolerance to love, you worked hard to prove yourself worthy of someone else’s company. And did those people (intimate partners, friends, family members, etc.) treasure you for the wonderful human you are? Probably not. Why? Because you didn’t treasure you. Self-love isn’t simply about spa visits, eating healthy, working out or treating yourself to a new outfit. It is attention, connection and awareness to yourself. And you cultivate it by slowing down, feeling your feelings and choosing what makes you happy. When you love yourself, you have compassion for who you are, what you are and why you are. And that is

What do you want from me? What do you need from me? How can I make your life easier (while draining myself)? If these questions, or some version of them, come out of your mouth frequently, your value probably comes from what you do, not who you are. Throw insecure attachment into the mix and you can become over-the-top nutty in what you’ll do to receive validation that you’re okay. And that need can feel like trudging uphill backwards, especially if it seems like someone always gets more than you. Like there are only so many pieces of validation pie and you have to fight for your slice. But what if you didn’t have to perform like a circus seal, and could feel valued simply for breathing? How weird would THAT be? In this week’s episode we’ll explore why you overperform and when it started (yep, probably childhood). Where did that urge to be “extra” come from, and when did it become your default setting? Then I’ll challenge you NOT to perform and sit with those feelings. Patterns are hard to break because the

Are you in a relationship or dating someone who’s more robot than human; someone who intellectualizes everything and doesn’t show any warmth? Or what about someone who makes big promises all the time and never, ever follows through? Or maybe you’re with someone who appears and disappears without warning, pretending it’s normal, making you think YOU are the crazy one? These are signs of an Avoidant relationship. If you find yourself in one, you have to ask yourself… why are you there? Is it because you mistake those butterfly feelings for real love? Those feelings actually stem from a fear of abandonment. You’re trying to get the other person to cooperate with you and see your value, fearing they will leave you at any moment. It’s chemistry mixed with anxiety. There is also zero consistency in these relationships. So if you’re in a situation like this, realize it’s not healthy and look at how you got here. You made the choice to be with an Avoidant… which means you are also an Avoidant. Or an Anxious Avoidant

Are you living with secrets? Maybe you're hiding your shopping receipts from your husband, or maybe you're leaving out parts of your stories because you fear the repercussions. In some cases, you might not even be aware that you're withholding information from your significant other. All these secrets stem from one ultimate truth: you're afraid of change. You can't be 100% committed to someone if you're still hiding parts of your life. Keeping secrets may save you from ever having to change, but it also keeps you from experiencing a happy, healthy relationship. If you're ready to be courageous and leave secrets behind, listen to today's podcast episode.

Zehra Mahoon had just moved to Canada from Pakistan with her husband and baby. Then her mother became terminally ill. And her husband had an affair. When they separated, her husband left the country and took his money with him, leaving Zehra in debt with no means of income. Knowing her options would be even more limited in Pakistan as a single mom, she vowed to stay in Canada and make it work… whatever that meant. “When you plan, you create attachment to the outcome.” Join me for Zehra’s story of tenacity and surrender, deciding to say yes to whatever the Universe presented without questioning it. Each step has led to where she is today, an example of what she now teaches: the Law of Attraction. She is the author of 12 books and the creator of the Unlimited 40-day Law of Attraction Workout. That debt she was left with? Zehra now owns multiple properties and has a thriving business, all of which she credits to trusting the Universe. Learn more about Zehra: Website: http://www.zmahoon.com Facebook: https://w

How’s your relationship with money? They don’t call it a relationship for nothing. Just like love, if you are insecurely attached, your money relationship is probably based in scarcity. Just like love, it mirrors what you believe you deserve. Just like love, you fear it will disappear. Having money isn’t the issue—many insecurely attached folks are financially successful. It’s the feelings and fears associated with money that create problems, just like an intimate relationship. If you are stingy with money, overspend, feel guilty spending (especially on yourself), fear losing it, avoid looking at your balance or just have general anxiety around money, you need this episode. Join me as I share the common threads between money and love, and how insecure attachment affects both. Just like love, healing your relationship with money starts with awareness. It involves commitment, connecting with your emotions around finances, making different choices and growing your self-worth. When you believe you deserve, scarc

If you can’t live without someone, and are knee-deep in soulmate territory where you need them to “complete” you, you are very likely stuck in attachment. You have a picture in your head of what you want your life to be and how you want to feel, so you’re trying to fit them into it, regardless of how things really are. So you push and pull, trying to mold them into what you want. Perhaps you cherry pick the good moments to convince yourself they’re the one. But where are their feelings in all of this? Are you in this relationship together, or are you just focused on getting what you want? And are you even getting it? Attachment is self-absorption in many ways. Not because you’re self-centered or a bad person—not at all. You are simply reacting to your pain, which can be all-consuming. It’s an emptiness that needs to be fed, so you are constantly looking for ways to fill it. The quicker the better because you’re in scarcity land and it may disappear in a blink. Attachment like this can be an out-of-body exper

Allana grew up with a co-dependent mom and drunk dad, leading her to become a people-pleasing “yes” person who was completely disconnected from herself. Always spinning, never still, Allana jumped into her first marriage with a Wall Street guy who encouraged her to go to an ivy league college. Accomplishments made Allana feel safe, which was always her motivation, so she went to Columbia. Inside she was lost, but she worked hard to make sure no one found out how messed up she was. After divorcing her husband and moving to LA, Allana started exploring her intimate, spiritual side. Join me as Allana talks about her “failed” relationships, including one with her son, and how each was actually successful because of what she needed to learn. Her healing began with allowing, then curiosity, followed by compassion and eventually unconditional love. Today Allana is an Intimacy expert and author of six books who helps people live and love with an open heart. Her Heartmates Partnering App & Intimacy Training is the an

I get a lot of questions about avoidants. People want to know if avoidant and anxious attachment styles can be happy together, and if there is any hope for their avoidant partner. Well, it depends on the amount of emotional work an avoidant is willing to do because this stuff runs deep. As children, avoidants learned to protect themselves from being hurt, which they carry into adulthood. Most avoidants are smart, successful people with a serious case of imposter syndrome. They fear being exposed for who they really are, so they avoid getting close to people. Their goal is not to get hurt (which they learned as a kid), but in return they sacrifice emotionally connected relationships. Join me for a deep dive into how avoidants avoid, both in relationships and in their own personal growth. Then we’ll look at how to deal with those shameful feelings of not being good enough and low self-worth to start removing the emotional armor, piece by piece.

Do you choose love, or are you waiting to be chosen? Maybe you believe love has forgotten about you, or it’s reserved for other, more “deserving” people. Instead of opening yourself up to it, you ruminate on what you don’t have, believing you’re being punished by some mysterious force. That, my friends, is playing the love victim. Love is actually a choice, but to get there, you have to see how your actions are working against you to create what you don’t want. Shame around being single, negative beliefs that say you’re not good enough and fear of abandonment all contribute to feeling like love isn’t available to you. And when that’s what you believe, you’ll pick partners who support that belief; it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. In this week’s podcast I’ll challenge you to look at your situation as an observer to zero in on what you’re choosing to create. Yes, CHOOSING. Having love starts with owning your choices and deciding to make new ones. If everything is a choice, why not choose love?

Gina DeVee is a published author, speaker, podcast host, business coach and self-made multimillionaire who built the women’s empowerment and lifestyle brand, Divine Living. But she started out as a broke, struggling, co-dependent psychotherapist who made $2,000 month working 75 hours/week and living with her parents. Gina grew up in the Detroit suburbs where money was scarce, so everything was “expensive.” If you wanted more money, you had to work harder. So that’s what she did… until she burned out and realized she had some internal issues to deal with, like her warped relationship with money and her desperate need to be loved and accepted by others. Listen in as Gina shares how she turned her wish, her hope and her dream of living a bigger life into reality while staying true to who she is. There were mentors, vision boards, serendipitous moments and leaps of faith along the way, plus a $3,000 investment in herself that changed everything. In 2021 her business went through a radical transformation that she

Did you grow up with a narcissistic mom? Her behavior may have been unpredictable, and you never knew what was going to set her off. She might have been manipulative, always looking for your validation and sympathy. Whether she was a malignant narcissist or a covert narcissist, her actions shaped your current behavior and your relationship insecurity. Her criticism and inconsistency made you afraid of emotional intimacy. In many ways, she created your first codependent relationship. The good news is that, even though your mom instilled these behaviors in you from a young age, you can still change this cycle of insecure attachment. Listen to today’s episode to learn how your mom’s narcissism affects your current relationships and how you can finally end the fear and insecurity you feel. Want to submit your question for Tracy's FB Live? Click here: bit.ly/2sQ4sJT and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9am PST. Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment

While we may be aware of our distrust of love, we often identify our fears as negative (i.e. rejection or abandonment). But often it’s fear of positive emotions—more specifically intimacy—that keeps love elusive. Those of us who fear intimacy actually want it quite badly, but feel we don’t deserve it because our negative beliefs are always running in the background. We pick “safe” partners who don’t require vulnerability, enabling us to hide. Avoidance of intimacy usually goes back to childhood, when we felt an inconsistency of emotional care. Maybe we experienced rejection, neglect or emotional pain, causing us to shut down. We learned NOT to rely on others for connections because it was perceived as unsafe. Then as adults we tend to create a push/pull effect, pushing our partner away or hiding from their affection, but then pulling them closer if we fear them leaving. We try to make ourselves less lovable, withholding our desirable qualities, in an effort to create distance because deep down we’re afraid o

“I attract avoidants” has almost become a mantra for anxious pursuers who are convinced they are only attracted to people who shun them. They believe relationships require a lot of effort, thus feeling a deeper connection to partners who reject them. If it comes easy, something must be wrong. This anxious pursuer is always focused on their partner, pushing, pulling and waiting for that “wake-up” moment that never comes. Let’s say you start dating someone who checks a lot of your boxes, but they rarely contact you so you do all the work. You create excuses to contact them, enticing them with sex or whatever carrot you think will prove irresistible. You live in the fantasy of feeling close to them, making the reality of rejection both painful and comfortable. The irony is that if they DO get close to you, you’ll distance yourself. This push/pull dance is a pattern, with fear of abandonment at its core. To break it you need to connect where it hurts, accessing those deep feelings you avoid like the plague. Inst

Complainers are addicted to feeling bad. Those who constantly compare themselves to others, believing everyone else is better off, are addicted to feeling bad. People who host weekly pity parties about everything that sucks in their lives are addicted to feeling bad. So why would you choose this over feeling good? Because it’s easier. It allows you to avoid your fears, blame the universe for your problems and not do anything differently. Choosing to feel bad let’s you off the hook so you don’t have to make changes (that’s the benefit). But it also keeps you stuck in a personal prison where everything remains frustratingly the same. You want your life to change, but you can’t see what you do to hold yourself in this “feeling bad” state. To do things differently is too scary, so you don’t do it. But that’s the path to feeling good: going through those fear walls and making things happen. The longer you stay victimized by your own thoughts and stories, judging your life by the outside, the longer you stay in yo

Do you say to yourself (or others) that you are the prize, and your partner is lucky to have you? And do you actually believe it, or is it just false bravado? Maybe you overcompensate for your true feelings that you don’t measure up by working hard to “be the prize.” Or you go the other direction and withdraw because deep down you not only believe you’re NOT the prize… you feel completely worthless. Whichever road you take, you’re causing drama and sabotaging your relationships. In this week’s podcast we explore what’s behind this diminished sense of value and how to build yourself up so you feel worthy and deserving of love. It starts with unraveling your shame and self-judgment, then feeling it instead of minimizing it (yep, you’ve gotta there). I’ll walk you through a few steps to get you started. Shame is a tough emotion to allow, but you are more resilient than you think. And it’s worth this deep work because once you start believing you really are a gem, you’ll attract someone who believes it to.

Sarah Merrill is the woman behind “Big Kid Problems,” a wildly popular Twitter, Instagram, blog and podcast about the daily struggles growing up and navigating the adult world. But, like many of us, this was not where Sarah expected to end up. The only thing she knew she wanted to do after graduating from college was leave Florida, which never felt like it fit. So off to New York she went, living on her friend’s couch, eating Cup O Noodles and dating so she could take a break from ramen! It was during this time of struggle that she started sharing her thoughts and experiences on Twitter in short, witty quips under the handle @BigKidProblems. “Nobody knows what they’re doing at any given time.” –Sarah Merrill Listen in on my conversation with Sarah as she shares her journey from broke and directionless to a comedic powerhouse who has been on the Steve Harvey show three times. What started as a hobby has become her full-time career, and it keeps expanding. A collection of her original jokes were published by

Many of us associate pain with love. We may not consciously think so, but it’s beneath the surface of our desire for love and all its glory in our lives. We don't realize we actually bring pain into our relationships (because it’s what we've known). We don’t see it as a choice, but self-awareness can set you free. If you're an avoidant like me, it can keep you detached from relationships, in search of something that does not exist in the form of the perfect feeling (like you’ve imagined for years). It keeps you looking for that perfect feeling that will ensure safety outside of yourself because you don’t feel it inside. The mixture of pain and lack of safety keeps you from focusing on what you actually feel beneath the surface-level emotions, and believing something outside of you is the current cause for your pain. Your words will not match your desires when you are taking action from the belief that love is painful. You create this in your relationships, usually with someone who is matching you at the level