Simply Abundant Intuitive

Attachment issues are big among my podcast listeners; there’s a reason I have an entire series devoted to it! But there is a difference between those who are ATTACHED to their attached relationship, and those who truly want to let go. You need to honestly ask yourself: Are you more comfortable with the devil you know, or are you willing to do the hard work needed to make a change? Deciding you have value and wanting to move out of a dysfunctional relationship is one of the hardest things to do. I remember being chained to a relationship I didn’t want, yet no matter how many times I broke up with him or refused to talk to him, it never made those attachment feelings go away. Fear keeps us stuck in these relationships, and it’s where I lived for a long time. I felt a total loss of control over myself and my relationship, like I couldn’t get a handle on either. Fear of commitment showed up too, as it often does. Attached relationships are perfect for those of us who don’t want to commit to ourselves because we

The people in your life have heard you complain about the same problem over and over. It’s your relationship or your job or your money issues—whatever it is, you’re a victim. It’s someone else’s fault. You say you want to solve the problem, but you won’t “go there.” If someone tries to dig a little deeper to get to the root of it (a friend, a therapist, a coach, a partner), you get defensive. You’d rather steer the conversation away from anything emotional and focus on the problem you THINK is the real problem. So what’s really going on? Something much deeper. Something attached to fear, disappointment, shame or some other ugly emotion that’s too hard to look at. Instead, you double-down on trying to solve the surface problem over and over. But it doesn’t budge. You’re not actually solving anything. This week’s podcast is about how we bury our problems so deep, we end up hiding them from ourselves. If you’re beating your head against the wall, trying to solve a problem that won’t go away, stop. Open yourself

Does this conversation sound familiar to you? “So-and-so is mad at me.” “Oh really, did she say she was mad at you?” “No, I can just tell.” Or what about this one? “So-and-so doesn’t want to hang out anymore.” “Oh really, why do you think that?” “Because he found someone else to spend time with so he doesn’t need me anymore.” Ah, assuming. You get to feel self-righteous by making someone else the bad guy while you’re the victim who did nothing wrong. It’s an excuse not to communicate. When you create a story about what someone else is thinking or feeling, it keeps you insulated from all those “bad people.” Instead of asking questions or seeking the truth, you drive a wedge between you and the other person. It positions you as the suffering victim with them as the perpetrator, which means you have no power. In this episode I’ll show you why this is so damaging to relationships (you’ll never get close to someone this way), and how to catch yourself making up these stories. Because when you pay attention and ca

Joel Primus is an author, speaker, filmmaker and serial entrepreneur. His first success, however, was as a runner, representing Canada at the World Youth Games. His identity as a runner was everything—then he blew up his achilles and that life was over. Trying to fill a void, he hitchhiked across Canada to make a movie—until his camera fell off a cliff. Third time’s a charm? While traveling in Peru, Joel found underwear that was so much better than anything he had worn before. His company Naked was born. Over the course of the next decade, Joel put everything into growing Naked. He raised $10 million and eventually went public, but he also suffered from terrible anxiety and depression. His marriage was on the brink. He knew he needed to make sweeping changes because, as it turned out, he never really stopped running. ”The journey begins with vulnerability. When we don’t allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we don’t allow ourselves to do the work.” –Joel Primus Once Joel stood still and focused on his inner jou

Anxiety is painful enough, but hiding it from your mate makes it even worse. Maybe you worry about where they are, or when they’re going to call, or why they ignored you. But instead of expressing that, you hide behind a façade of “everything’s just fine.” You’re afraid if your partner knew about these thoughts, he/she might freak out. Maybe you have even shown concern in the past, but he/she felt you didn’t trust them so you shut it down. How often have you asked yourself, “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just be ok with the way things are?!” It’s scary and lonely to feel you have nowhere to turn. And that your feelings are unacceptable. As a kid, if you were shamed for how you felt or told you were too sensitive, you carried that over into adulthood. Now it creates problems in your relationships because you’re always holding back. In this week’s episode, learn to make friends with your anxiety and allow yourself to be what you fear. I’ll walk you through it. Anxiety won’t disappear overnight, but if you

You are hanging on by a thread. On the one hand, you have this amazing connection to someone. It feels almost unreal sometimes. On the other hand, you don’t see each other very often and you know he/she is probably dating other people. Seeing their profile all over dating apps is driving you crazy. BUT, he/she has been hurt in the past (or some other excuse), which makes getting into a relationship scary. You understand that and want to be patient because you see a potential future together. Part of you wants to confess your feelings, but you’re scared of pushing this person away. Meanwhile, you’re in anxiety hell. This is not a relationship—it’s a game. You try new strategies, but still end up losing. You may even be pissed at him/her for “doing this” to you, not realizing you’re here by choice. It’s a painful attachment you’re afraid of losing. So why do you prolong your suffering, settling for breadcrumbs from someone who is clearly not willing to commit? In this episode I’ll talk about this painful hell

At 33 years old, Jessica Zweig had to ask her parents for $200 to pay her phone bill. Only a few years earlier she was living her “Sex in the City” life in Chicago, running a high-profile women’s lifestyle magazine. It was a sharp contrast to her uncool high school persona, proving to everyone she had finally arrived. But her business only looked successful from the outside; inside it was a financial mess. She could barely pay her employees and she suffered from chronic anxiety. A full-blown emotional breakdown soon followed, and in the midst of it she looked down at the tattoo on her wrist that read “simply be." It was an aspiration she had never achieved. An inner voice pointed out she was totally out of alignment with herself, and it was time to leave her business. It took Jessica a full year and a lot of coaching to finally walk away from her company. Everyone around her was thriving, while she was full of shame and self-loathing. Her road back to herself involved a lot of therapy, spiritual journeys, se

Someone says something to piss you off. In your head you think, “What a jerk!” In that moment, when you’re triggered, you can’t see how you’re responsible for your reaction (not the person who triggered you). You can’t see how you’re responsible for your choice to either strike back or shut down in response. In your head it’s a zero-sum game with a winner and a loser. If you blame the other person, the point goes to you. If you accept what they say, they have the upper hand. There is no space for communication based in grace, love or self-responsibility. Communication goes awry when there is defensiveness and a reluctance to accept responsibility. A fear of loss is also at play. Fighting dirty might feel good in the moment, but guilt and shame often follow, leading you to feel even worse. You ALWAYS have a choice in how you respond and what you say. In this week’s episode, we’ll look at how to change your communication goals from being the winner (which creates distance) to being vulnerable (which brings peo

You create whatever you focus on. If someone says, “Think about anything but a pink elephant,” what comes to mind? A pink elephant, of course. So why do you focus on your “flaws” or what you perceive to be negative about yourself? By feeding into what you don’t do well or don’t like about yourself, you constantly react to it… and just create more of it. If you believe you’re an ogre, you’ll constantly try to prove you’re not one. It all stems from childhood limitations and the stories you told yourself: Because I’m an ogre I’ll never amount to anything in life. Because I’m an ogre I’ll never be worthy of love. You don’t want this to be true so you work very hard to convince other people (and yourself) otherwise. You try to control their perception of you. But of course, by focusing on NOT being an ogre, you just perpetuate that story. In this week’s podcast I invite you to explore your own limiting stories and how you react to them. Where do they come from? Why do they exist? How do you keep them alive in y

In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of healing, toxic relationships, and how to not stop yourself from feeling your feelings. Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

What do you think you need to finally feel good? Do you believe you haven’t earned it yet? Haven’t suffered enough? Waiting for permission or a sign from the Universe? You may think feeling good (happy, content, joyful) is something bestowed upon you after you prove you deserve it. Once you hit that salary milestone or kiss 100 frogs. But when you wait for something outside of you, you give up your birthright to feel good. Yes, feeling good is a birthright. And it’s a choice that is always available to you. That means misery and struggle are also a choice, and they don’t go away with wishful thinking. Feeling good requires you to allow those uncomfortable emotions you’re sitting in; to accept everything as it is. It’s not about pretending everything is perfect. You can choose to be with all your feelings, or constantly beat yourself up trying to get to a false nirvana. When you no longer try to shield yourself from negative feelings, you can just be. Listen to this week’s podcast where I help you identify yo

In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of emotional hunger, letting go of a relationship, and patterns in relationships. Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST. Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

People who have attachment issues aren’t just attached to other people… they are also attached to ideas. They are attached to how they are seen by others, and how they want things to look. This narrow window of possibility is born from lack—that feeling there is not enough. That THEY as humans are not enough. And if they don’t get what they want, the answer is to work harder for their piece of the pie. The focus is on the negative: what’s missing or not enough or unlikely to work out because of X,Y and Z. And yep, you guessed it, control plays a major role in this limited outlook. We actually create this sense of lack and scarcity by believing there is only one way to do something, so we struggle to make it happen. And then what? If you do achieve your goal, are you happy? Is it actually what you want? Probably not because the lack is still inside you. There is a lack of self-love, lack of self-worth, lack of trust in yourself. That doesn’t go away when you get the thing you’ve been struggling so hard to get

In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of yo-yo relationships, emotional commitment, and codependency. Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST. Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

Have you designed a conditional happiness model for yourself? Tracy Litt was 24 when she lost her mom, and 28 when she became an unemployed single mom. If life looks like a heart monitor, those were the two biggest dips in her life. But the second dip was the one that catapulted her out because her higher self finally spoke up. It told her crying self to get up and wipe her face; she had a whole life to create for her and her daughter. Tracy listened. “We all have the same exact depth and breadth of inner power. We all have a higher version of ourselves.” –Tracy Litt That voice spoke to Tracy again after 12 successful years in the corporate world. It said, “This isn’t it. You’re meant for something huge. Get up and figure it out.” The next chapter of her life started with a conscious, intentional decision. She started to pay attention to herself, knowing something had to shift on the inside. When she found coaching, she leaned in. Today her work has served thousands of women across the globe and has been f

You’re always hoping your next partner will be different; better. But what does that boil down to? What are you truly looking for? If you’re honest with yourself, you might be looking for someone to rescue you because deep down you want to be taken care of. You want someone to fill the emptiness you feel inside. It goes back to childhood, and it keeps intimacy at a distance because you’re waiting for something that won’t ever happen. If you grew up in a household with an Avoidant, vulnerability was scary and unwelcomed, but shame and blame were plentiful. No one took responsibility for their actions. That’s where your fantasies of being rescued were probably born. Avoidance creates a sense of lack, which you believe can only be filled by another person. But how does it make sense for someone to put all of their attention on you while you put zero attention on yourself? It doesn’t. And that crazy expectation leads to a lot of pain. Listen to this week’s episode where I talk about the rescue fantasy: how to ac

In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of long friendships ending, letting go of fantasy situations, asexuality. Want to submit a question? Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST. Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

You want to meet someone, but it feels like it’s never gonna happen. Where IS he/she already? When will my person finally show up? When is it my turn? People call you picky, but you’re just waiting for the right one. Why should you settle? The truth is, you will never find the perfect person. Humans are flawed, and having impossible standards is what keeps you single. Those standards aren’t there to avoid “settling.” They are about fear. Fear of being seen, fear of being rejected, fear of choosing the wrong person. Have you ever rejected someone because they were too nice or attentive, thinking something must be wrong with them? Your singlehood is not about everything that’s wrong with others—it’s about you. It’s about where you are closed off and don’t accept yourself. Until you can handle being fully seen, you will avoid a relationship. The cost of rejection is too high. In this week’s podcast you’ll learn more about what keeps you single, and how to approach dating differently. It starts with curiosity an

In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of childhood emotional neglect, thoughts of hurting yourself, and your programming being tested by life. Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST. Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

“Human Design is basically a map of who we came here to be; a blueprint of who we are.” --Laurel Hill Laurel Hill built a successful jewelry business in her 20s that she both loved and was skilled at—the perfect combination. It started organically and served her well for nearly a decade… until burnout set in. Her physical and mental health started to suffer, as did her relationship. How could the business she loved and envisioned for her future no longer be “it” for her? During this time of struggle Laurel heard about Human Design and started to investigate. The more she learned about herself and her aura (Projector), the more she realized how far she had strayed from her center. This allowed her to slowly let go of her jewelry business and transition to work in Human Design, which was not at all easy. Listen as Laurel shares more about Human Design, and why she needed to “kill her ego” to become the person she was designed to be. Today Laurel is an international Human Design guide, drawing from her knowle