Mantalks Podcast: Purpose | Legacy | Relationships | Self Mastery | Business

Talking points: isolation, culture, relationships, friendship, anger, connectionEvery now and I then, my team and I like to compile some of the greatest insights from our guests and center them around a theme. This week, we’re going hard on connection. The importance and nuance of it, the consequences of being without it, and the ways connection manifests. These days, connection isn't easy, but it's more important than ever. Listen in some highly distilled wisdom.(00:00:00) - Doug McKinley on isolation, passing down wisdom, self-leadership, working weaknesses, and adding value to you and your world(00:21:51) - Nedra Tawwab on developing satisfying friendships and how to navigate tough conversations (00:35:26) - Marisa Franco on how men and women build friendship differently, “friendship minus mission”, how camaraderie has changed over the years, and the impacts of NOT having friends(00:50:56) - Angus Fletcher on changing your internal story and your relationship to yourself, cultivating inner antifragility, a

Talking points: fatherhood, parenting, mindset, cultureTaking time off as a man seems perfectly normal—until it’s done for a newborn. While I don’t disagree that a father can (and should) work to provide for his family, I also think that your presence is a deeply important factor in your kid’s development. Here’s my rationale.(00:00:00) - What inspired this episode(00:03:10) - The real reasons I took time off (00:07:56) - How I’ve learned to define success(00:11:52) - I challenge men to think differently about things when their children are born***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears

Talking points: relationships, testosterone, estrogen, stressI had John on the show years ago, and it seemed like the right time to ask: has anything changed since publishing his seminal book? Turns out the answer is yes—and no. Dig in with us as we cover John’s take on conflict, mindset, confidence, emotions, hormones, and a lot more!(00:00:00) - How have things changed since you wrote your book, and do men and women deal with stress differently?(00:16:40) - John’s take on why testosterone has become somewhat demonized, and the limits of talking about your feelings in a relationship(00:36:32) - John on truth, and the meeting place of mindset and reality(00:44:41) - The paradox of confidence and the comfort zone, and the basics of emotional processing(00:56:25) - The balancing act that is testosterone and estrogen, and its effects on aggression and self-esteemJohn Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. USA Today listed his

Talking points: attachment, avoidance, relationshipsThis is thicker one, my friends. I’ve been asked by a lot of you to cover this, and here goes. There’s straightforward tactics in here for both men and women that will help you move more easily into deeper and longer lasting connection. Listen in.(00:00:00) - Intro, some of the internal beliefs an avoidant woman has learned, and what caused them(00:06:08) - Avoidant women tend to attract savior-oriented men. Here’s why(00:09:26) - What to do as a couple, and tactic #1 for women: communicate your needs, but start smaller (00:13:42) - #2: shifting from self-protection to relational connection(00:16:33) - #3: lean into conflict, not away, plus a couple things that will help you with this(00:19:58) - Guys, your turn. #1: move from questions to statements(00:23:20) - #2: give thanks instead of criticism(00:25:18) - #3: be clear about expectations ***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://

Talking points: music, artistry, creativity, AI, culture, spirituality, psychedelicsMusic has been around for thousands and thousands of years. There’s a reason for that: it’s a powerful, synchronizing force between peoples, places hearts, and minds. And when you add psychedelics, well, that’s a recipe for incredible journeys.I’m honored to have had this convo with one of my favorite artists, and we dig into just how important music is not just for enjoyment but as a guide, mentor, and facilitator. We also cover his upcoming doc, Music For Mushrooms. Listen in, team.(00:00:00) - What role does music play in our lives that we often overlook, and how East’s relationship to music has changed over the years(00:08:25) - What’s worrisome about AI and music?(00:16:47) - How artists can weather the storm(00:23:05) - On initiation, and the threshold we’re crossing into a vast, uncharted era(00:26:00 ) - What was it like making music with Ram Dass?(00:32:49) - How do you make music for a psychedelic journey, and how th

Talking points: relationships, mindset, victimhood, entitlementThis is going to…bother some of you, but it needs to be said. Straight out the gates, this isn’t an every single man or every single woman issue, but these are what’s contributing to the insanity that is modern dating. Hear me out.(00:00:00) - Intro and how this is gonna upset some people(00:02:21) - The man that some women expect to date doesn’t exist, why that’s a thing,(00:07:55) - The idea that what women bring to a relationship is automatically more valuable isn’t always true(00:10:11) - On entitlement and how both sides are contributing(00:13:11 ) - Men, you’ve bought into the BS notion that something is automatically wrong with women (00:15:40) - Many men are fundamentally afraid of women and don’t want to admit it(00:18:34) - Many men have become fragile(00:21:05) - No more victim puking and women blaming***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-w

Talking points: parenting, attachment, mindset, psychology, neurologyThe internet behaved badly in this episode, but Eli is so knowledgeable and thorough I had to put this up! The Attachment Nerd herself brought a TON of info and practical tips for parents this week. Strongly encourage you to listen to this with other parents. I certainly learned a lot. Her new book comes out Sept. 3rd; go pick it up!(00:00:00) - What is reflective functioning, and when does that start developing?(00:06:58) - How does a parent support a child who’s still developing that reflective functioning?(00:12:58) - The problem with treating kids as little adults, and why we do it(00:20:44) - How to tell if you’re raising a securely attached kid; 4 simple tips(00:32:05) - The importance of presence and support over adult logic, and on staying grounded(00:40:18) - How to foster discipline AND self-esteem in your kidsEli Harood, known as Attachment Nerd on social media, is a licensed therapist, bestselling author, and highly sought-after

Talking points: suicide, culture, masculinityThis isn’t an easy episode, but it’s important. If you’re someone who works with men, whatever kind of work that is, please share.(00:00:00) - A part of my story I rarely share(00:04:30) - What I’ve learned(00:07:35) - What’s contributing to this?(00:10:36) - If you’re somehow involved with men, here’s what to do. If you’re in this situation, here’s what I’ll tell you***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to s

Talking points: attachment, avoidance, divorceMy anonymous guest this week has been solving the puzzle of his anxious attachment style for a while now. He’s made great progress, but there’s more to be done. On top of this, while it’s impacted all of his romantic relationships with intense conflict, distance, and damage, his wife is an avoidant. It’s a complicated situation, but there IS a way forward.(00:00:00) - What brought our guest in today(00:05:58) - Why my guest is holding onto something they’ve identified as unhealthy(00:12:11) - What my guest is hoping to get out of the session, and a hard truth(00:16:53) - Taking on responsibility and shame when things aren’t working in the world(00:21:37) - When a young child can’t get the attention it needs, it’ll be encoded as panic to the child(00:31:33) - The declaration ***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn

Talking points: attachment, avoidance, mindset, psychologyIf you, your partner, or someone you’re friends with has an avoidant attachment style, this one’s specifically for you! These are the steps I took and the ones I recommend to clients who are just starting out and want to get their avoidance under control. They’re simple, but not easy. Listen in.(00:00:00) - The two things changing from avoidant to secure depends on, and why(00:05:58) - Build self-awareness around these two crucial things(00:08:49) - Initiate reconnection when disconnection has happened(00:12:30) - Express what you’re experiencing(00:14:02) - Expose your needs—with two caveats (00:16:12) - Move from self-protection to relational reliance***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men

Talking points: collapse, culture, masculinity, psychology, JungThere are very few people out there I consider genuine, authentic elders. Francis Weller is one of them. With a perfect marriage of gentle compassion and firm sincerity, Francis is the man you want to share a campfire with when times are tough. He lays out what we’re facing collectively from the perspective of someone deeply in tune with the natural world, and how we need to respond.(00:00:00) - Why we’re in “the long dark”, and what needs to dissolve collectively(00:09:04) - Navigating the things that are negatively affecting the psyche, and “death cafes”(00:14:40) - What Francis has been noticing and gathering from our current times (00:21:03) - The balance between being aware of what’s going on and catastrophizing(00:27:31) - Is talking about collapse and degrowth inherently anti-American?(00:34:49) - How does someone stay present and grounded in the face of a collapse, and how people normally navigate(00:44:09) - How do you find satisfaction

Talking points: aging, mindset, personal growthI bottomed out in my 20s and nearly lost everything. When I finally emerged from the rubble, I had NO idea where to even begin. The following are things I learned the hard way, so if you’re in a similar spot, strongly encourage you to listen in. Here’s how you rebuild.(00:00:00) - Intro and number 1: make competency your aim(00:03:33) - Number 2: get in shape(00:05:24) - Number 3: learn how to save and invest, and get yourself out of debt (00:07:45) - Number 4: figure out if you’re a number one, number two, or a worker bee(00:10:23) - Number 5: take women off the pedestal ***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a revi

Talking points: relationships, sex, social media, non-monogamyIf you’ve followed me for any length of time, you know I think the current dating scene is, in a word, messy. So I’m grateful to have sat with Todd Baratz on why that’s the case. I love Todd’s practical, honest yet understanding perspective on the issues, because it allows for all the complexity and nuance relationships can bring. To sum it up: communicate, communicate, communicate.(00:00:00) - Todd on why modern relationships seem like a mess, new social values, and social media’s effect(00:13:54) - What causes us to sometimes lose a deep sense of self in relationships, and how our original attachment contributes (00:18:30) - How all this influences sexual expression, and bridging the gap between different preferences(00:25:47) - What you need to open a dialogue about what you want sexually, and where couples go wrong (00:32:41) - “Too good to leave, too bad to stay”, and are relationships starving for lack of community?(00:37:02) - Do straight an

Talking points: accountability, relationshipsBefore anything else, not all women struggle with this. But some who do (and the men who love them) have asked me to speak on this. You’ve probably seen the memes or heard a story or two, but it’s always better to actually do some thinking. Here are my thoughts on why some women admit to struggling with accountability—and how to hold a partner accountable in a healthy way.(00:00:00) - Intro and reason 1: different tools for social status(00:05:41) - Reason 2: women are disincentivized by the “patriarchy virus”(00:07:52) - Women are socialized to be more dependent on men(00:10:05) - How to hold a partner accountable in a healthy way, and what NOT to do***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around th

Talking points: exercise, stress, science, testosterone, mindsetI think this episode takes the cake for highest amount of information. Dr. Layne Norton is. on. fire. Seriously, dig into this if you’re looking for what REALLY works (hint: it’s probably not going to be the fun option). We cover everything on managing stress, testosterone, and the right mindset to bring it all home.(00:00:00) - What got Layne started, and how wildly effective exercise can be(00:07:59) - Layne on managing stress(00:14:42) - On finding and prioritizing real friendships, and your responsibility in managing stress (00:24:20) - What happens when you’re stressed, and why stress isn’t automatically bad(00:35:22) - Layne’s own experience of how important it is to process bad experiences, and the effect of stress on testosterone(00:43:37) - Taking responsibility, why it’s worth trusting the science, and owning what you CAN control(00:55:53) - Layne on TRT and what will actually boost testosterone(01:03:44) - Tactical practical things to

Talking points: grief, fatherhood, anger, masculinityThe void left by a father who’s gone can feel impossibly difficult to handle for many men. I’ve had a lot of them in my practice, and the impacts on their life can be pretty severe. If you or someone you know grew up without a father, strongly encourage you to listen to this one. These are the lessons you might have missed.(00:00:00) - Intro and the first thing: grieve the absence. (00:05:33) - Understand the true role of a father, and take it upon yourself(00:08:28) - Every son has the right to be angry with their father(00:12:37) - A woman can never hold the key to your masculinity(00:14:24) - The last thing: it’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded

Talking points: attachment, relationships, intimacyYou’ve heard about attachment. Maybe you’ve discovered you or your partner (or both!) have a specific kind. Ok, cool. But what do you DO with that info? How do you move forward?That’s exactly what Sarah Baldwin and I sat down to discuss. From the deep origins of our survival strategies, to their impact on intimacy, and how to work WITH it all and get some self-security going. Listen in.(00:00:00) - What is a disconfirming experience?(00:07:54) - How do our early experiences with attachment inform the partners we choose later?(00:17:15) - Remember this is all subconscious, very human, and can be changed with work(00:27:47) - What happens in someone’s body when they have a more anxious or avoidant attachment style(00:35:38) - Insights on what to do if you’re avoidant or anxious(00:43:33) - What CAN a securely attached relationship look like?(00:50:57) - How does all of this impact intimacy?Sarah Baldwin is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and trauma-trained

Talking points: mindset, death, changeAlright, you’re past 30. Assuming you’re past the usual advice you get from all the corners of the internet, what’s next? Because all the “you need to make more money, you need to get to the gym, you need to wake up earlier” stuff is fine—don’t get me wrong—but it's also entry-level work. Listen in for the harder stuff.(00:00:00) - Intro and the first thing: regret(00:03:10) - Don’t make your future self suffer because of who you’re being now(00:06:06) - Death is right around the corner(00:10:52) - Your unwillingness to find or create your definition of freedom is a kind of death, too***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a r

Talking points: grief, loss, relationships, masculinity, angerI met David at a psychotherapy symposium a while back, and it wasn’t long before we were sharing some of the things we’ve grieved. He just has that calm yet strong presence. He’s also, of course, an absolute expert therapist. We dig into everything loss in this episode; how the 5 stages actually work, what death does both for and to us, and much, much more. This is absolutely an episode to share with someone you feel could use it.(00:00:00) - Intro, do men and women grieve differently, and the toll of not grieving(00:06:34) - Why unprocessed grief manifests as anger, anxiety, and more(00:11:10) - What brought David into grief work, the five stages, and where people get stuck(00:24:43) - On the loss of David’s son(00:32:12) - Does grief reshape identity, and the different ways of moving through it(00:35:50) - How to move through grief, and discerning when to “live again”(00:42:51) - David’s take on death denial, living currently, and how death chall

Talking points: self-worth, mindsetThis is a wildly simple fact, but so easy to miss. Self-esteem is built along the way, not something you find at the end of the work. Listen in.(00:00:00) - Intro and real reason your self-esteem takes a hit(00:03:14) - The secret hope(00:07:16) - It’s that simple, and that hard***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | SpotifyFor more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | F