Mantalks Podcast: Purpose | Legacy | Relationships | Self Mastery | Business

Talking points: relationships, communication, sex, masculinityWhether we want to admit it or not, there are always times where things in the bedroom just don’t work out. Alex is out there helping men deal with their most common challenges, and de-stigmatizing communication about it. I appreciate the simple yet solid advice he brings to the table; lots of good stuff in here. Listen in.(00:00:00) - How a man’s ability to perform affects how he sees himself, and working with sexual shame(00:11:33) - Dealing with common sexual challenges for men(00:20:40) - On balancing emotional vulnerability with “holding your frame”(00:26:29) - What contributes to ejaculation issues?(00:32:13) - On embarrassment around sexual dialogue, and how porn alters our expectations of ourselves(00:40:16) - The importance of connecting to breath(00:47:35) - How can a partner help a man who’s struggling with PE or ED?Alex Grendi, a former professional soccer player, is now a men’s coach specializing in helping individuals overcome perform

Talking points: relationships, mythology, archetypes, cultureThe title might ruffle some feathers, but sometimes, the best way to look at an issue is through a story. The symbolism has a way of highlighting many complex things at once. This week, I want to talk about an almost common trope in modern dating, but through the lens of a classic story: Cinderella.(00:00:00) - Intro, using the story as a lens, and the effect of the “wicked stepmother”(00:04:13) - The shadow of the feminine and masculine, and the archetype of Prince Charming(00:10:15) - The value of Cinderella as an archetype and symbol***This Black Friday, why bother getting more stuff when you could work on yourself? All ManTalks courses are currently 20% off, and save even more when you bundle all 3. Check out: https://mantalks.com/blackfriday/Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the F

Talking points: history, mythology, archetypes, cultureI’ve recently been asked to dig more into the deeper stuff, and who better to delve into the history of the ancients than Alex Petkas. We dig into how important history and story can be, how modern society has watered down the hero archetype, and who we can learn from in ancient history to re-inspire us. This is great ep to dig into if you’re searching for actual heroes, not just what you see on TV.(00:00:00) - What was the role of the “hero” in ancient history, and is it important for a healthy society? (00:12:40) - What happens when you kill off the hero in you, and the balanced masculinity of Odysseus(00:22:47) - How to restore a more generative hero archetype, and how we’ve made heroes one-dimensional(00:30:41) - What Plutarch can teach men (00:40:59) - Ancient heroes men can learn from, or who the hell is Eumenes of Chardia?(00:55:14) - The power of narrativeAlex Petkas is writer, entrepreneur, and founder of The Cost of Glory,  a brid

talking points: anxiety, psychology, relationshipsIf you've ever been with someone who struggles with anxiety, this one's for you. A lot of men lean heavily into trying to fix things, even making it their entire mission. Here are some alternative steps that respect responsibility, autonomy, and help strengthen the relationship.(00:00:00) - Intro, my working definition of anxiety, and the many places it comes from(00:05:42) - Signs of anxiety in your partner(00:10:47) - So what do you do? On reinforcement and co-regulation (00:14:59) - Attune to her signs, and physical touch(00:17:36) - How to balance leaning into discomfort with backing off***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To AttachmentCheck out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with

Talking points: masculinity, psychology, myth, JungHot on the heels of the legendary John Lee, I interviewed another founding elder of men's work: Michael Meade. This is a powerful discussion focused on how essential "descent" is for men, and how it's almost completely disappeared from society in favor of endless, destructive growth and commodified "mastery". Powerful words from one of the wisest teachers out there, in my opinion.(00:00:00) - The importance of descent in a man’s life(00:11:51) - The signs of descent, and the role of technology(00:22:28) - How the old worldview has collapsed, and the result is collective despair and grief(00:29:39) - How do you deal with the feeling that things are ending?(00:35:20) - The intersection of myth and AI; will they come together? (00:41:29) - Where does the descent actually lead, and the symbolism of water and sword(00:55:13) - How to “get the water”Michael Meade, born and raised in New York City, is a renowned storyteller, author, and scholar of mythology, an

Talking points: psychology, depression, These are 3 conditions you may have never heard of before, but based on my experience working with men for 10+ years, they’ve got a significant presence. They’re also under-discussed. (00:00:00) - Dysthymia, aka low-key depression(00:04:25) - Alexithymia, when you can't describe emotions(00:07:06) - Derealization, when nothing feels realFurther Reading-Dysthymia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dysthymia-Alexithymia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexithymia-Derealization: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Derealization***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To AttachmentCheck out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. E

Talking points: masculinity, culture, mythopoetics, Robert Bly, Iron JohnMaybe you've heard it said that there are lots of "olders", but barely any elders. John Lee is one of the latter, in my opinion. A critical player in men's movements of the 90s and close friends with Robert Bly, John is a wealth of knowledge, insight, and honest talk—and no stranger to deep work. Listen in, team.(00:00:00) - Intro, and what brought John to where he is today(00:06:23) - The impact Robert Bly had on the mythopoetic men’s movement, and what that was(00:20:36) - Why Iron John is still relevant(00:31:41) - Are men struggling with different things now compared to the start of the mythopoetic men’s movement?(00:38:58) - The dark father archetype, and the difference between Robert Bly and Jordan Peterson(00:43:20) - What can the study of myth do for the average man, and how the manosphere falls shortJohn Lee is a pioneer in the fields of self-help, anger, codependency, creativity, recovery, relationships, and men’s issues. In th

Talking points: relationshipsWe all know how a couple handles conflict can be the difference between love that’s thriving and resilient and something that is…well, the exact opposite: leading through conflict. Listen in for five aspects of the that don’t get talked about often enough, in my opinion.(00:00:00) - Intro, and a practical definition of conflict(00:03:14) - Address your conflict kryptonite(00:05:59) - Ownership over blame(00:07:57) - Stop seeing conflict as a path to disconnection, and have conflict “agreements” (00:10:44) - Breathe, ground, assess(00:13:30) - The best question to ask***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To AttachmentCheck out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from aroun

Talking points: mindset, purpose, military, masculinityA sincere honor to chat with J.R., and I’m blown away by his perspective and honesty on the hardship he’s faced—and overcome. We cover a lot of ground: the importance of male friendship, the struggles veterans can go through, the importance of vulnerability AND accountability. Throughout it all, J.R.’s outlook shines through. Listen in, team.(00:00:00) - JR’s defining moment(00:11:45) - What happened to JR during his deployment(00:23:58) - How men and veterans get stripped of purpose and identity, what contributes to that, and how we can do better (00:38:04) - What JR would say to men who see the state of things and retreat into isolation, and the importance of building emotional for yourself(00:55:50) - What JR would teach the next generation of menJ.R. Martinez’s life story is one of resilience and transformation. A Louisiana-born Army veteran and Iraq War survivor, Martinez faced tragedy early in his military service when a roadside bomb explosion left

Talking points: attachment, psychology, relationshipsMen tend to underestimate how important the feeling of safety is for their partners. Not a dig, just something I’ve seen time and time again. And if you’re partner has an avoidant or anxious attachment style, your part in creating a sense of safety in the relationship can be complicated. Listen in for some straightforward tips.(00:00:00) - Intro, and why women sometimes “test” you(00:03:45) - Here’s what changes when she has an avoidant or anxious attachment style(00:06:39) - And here’s what to do if she’s anxious(00:10:14) - Tactics if she’s avoidant***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podc

Talking points: mindset, psychology, meditation, spiritualityMeditation and mindfulness get a lot of air time these days, especially on the more “crunchy” side of wellness spectrum. But is it all it’s cracked up to be? I sat down with Shai to really dig into this, from the wildly esoteric and spiritual side of the question to the more practical, tactical side. Because what’s the point of enlightenment if it doesn’t make things, well, a little lighter?(00:00:00) - Shai’s feeling of being “outside” the usual human experience, the difference between detachment and dissociation, and using things like meditation to avoid life(00:09:52) - What IS consciousness, and the West’s obsession with enlightenment(00:25:45) - Why are humans even capable of self-reference? What’s the point? (00:34:16) - Do these complex, philosophical ideas help with our day-to-day lives?(00:43:20) - How can men develop greater mental flexibility and combat closed-mindedness?(00:56:55) - What to do to get your calm back in a conflict(01:02:07

Talking points: mindset, psychologyAristotle said, “I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is the victory over self.” Speaking from my own experience, he’s definitely wasn’t wrong. Here’s what nearly every man on the planet has to battle—and how to reclaim your power.(00:00:00) - Intro and why this is an important topic(00:03:37) - What causes a lack of impulse control? Two massive reasons(00:10:40) - How to actually develop a deep, quality capacity for impulse control***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new liste

Talking points: culture, geopoliticsThis interview is probably among the most unique I’ve had on the show. I don’t usually cover straight-up politics, but Andrew’s work has fascinated me for a while. And as the world seems to getting more up in arms (literally and figuratively), I find myself wanting to learn more about where all of this started and how we as men can respond.(00:00:00) - Common misconceptions about the CIA(00:11:47) - Why foreign secrets are such a big deal(00:24:51) - Andrew’s perspective on current global unrest, Iran, and just how complex it is(00:38:31) - What’s difficult to understand about geopolitics, and why there seems to be so much conflict(00:48:19) - Is there any form of governance that truly permits any freedom, and where the balance could lie(00:57:47) - The perspective shift that changed Andrew’s life(01:08:51) - Andrew’s take on what’s going to happen next with Ukraine, Russian, and Iran(01:16:33) - Is US global supremacy in jeopardy? If it is, what does that mean for the aver

Talking points: intimacy, relationshipsGame changers aren’t usually simple, especially when it comes to intimate relationships. But this is a surprisingly easy, straightforward step that I’ve seen work time and time again. So listen in and let some wonderful things happen.(00:00:00) - Expectationless desire and why it’s important(00:05:37) - What to do, and what it looks like(00:08:36) - Final thoughts***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe o

Talking points: culture, parentingOne of the most informative fifty minutes I’ve ever recorded; and now that I’m a father of two, it’s pretty well timed! Grateful for Lisa’s insight, her years of experience, and her great sense of humor. This is the episode to listen to if you (like pretty much every parent) are looking for sound advice that you can act on literally right now.(00:00:00) - Intro, and what are parents being taught that isn’t actually beneficial? (00:06:40) - How do we raise kids who like themselves? (00:11:22) - Timers: a great parenting “hack”(00:16:25) - Ways of developing a more robust connection with your child, and the shift between raising a child, a preteen, and a teenager(00:23:37) - How can parents help their kids build skills and develop competency?(00:29:02) - The cost of perfectionist parenting, and what to do during tantrums(00:44:35) - Do’s and don’t when dealing with teenagers Lisa Bunnage is a Parenting Coach with BratBusters Parenting Services. She has been working with childre

Talking points: culture, masculinity, social issuesInspired by a recent article in the WSJ. Young men are facing some serious difficulties right now. We need to not just be aware of what’s going on, but follow that up with coherent, intelligent action. I’m not some genius who can declare national-level policy changes, but I KNOW what works on an individual level. If you’re a man who’s struggling in the face of increasing isolation and an uncertain future, here are five things you can work on right now.(00:00:00) - Intro (00:03:32) - The data presented (00:09:44) - Young men now have to struggle against modern culture more than ever(00:14:05) - Why can men do on an individual level in the face of all this? Number one: stop blaming women. (00:18:06) - Number two: set right your relationship to risk (00:20:30) - Number three and four: engage in healthy confrontation, and make friends with people you respect(00:24:53) - Number five: you’ve got to set in shape. Prioritize actually living IN your body***Pick up my

Talking points: culture, masculinity, relationshipsWarren’s been a consistent and committed voice for men for decades now, an it’s been far too long since we’ve talked, so when I wanted to get some insight on how things have changed—or not—he was the obvious choice! We cover the complexity of what “makes” a man, get into politics, and some solid practical advice for couples. Enjoy and dig in.(00:00:00) - What’s happening to young men in today’s culture(00:09:47) - Warren’s take on why there seems to be negation or dismantling of biological underpinnings of maleness (00:17:53) - Is there really a difference between men and women, and Warren on listening first, solving second(00:26:08) - Why do we see a gender divide in politics?(00:36:06) - What Warren would say to men in their 20s and 30s(00:41:54) - On Warren’s book Role Mate To Soul Mate, and what makes falling in love easy but sustaining love difficult(00:52:27) - Advice if you feel like you’re always walking on eggshells with your partnerWarren Farrell, P

Talking points: porn, addiction, mindset, psychologyWe all know it’s not easy. We all know it takes time. What you might NOT know is that there’s a simple reframe about quitting things like porn, weed, alcohol, and more that swings the odds in your favor. Listen in.(00:00:00) - Intro(00:02:58) - A new perspective on some addictions(00:04:27) - The real question to ask(00:07:08) - What to do instead (00:09:27) - If you’re like me, this is gonna take time(00:19:45) - Number five: they create, maintain, and repair connection(00:25:04) - If you’re not sure which one to start with, start here***Say no to subscriptions, but yes to a razor that’ll last you a lifetime. Visit HENSONSHAVING.com/MANTALKS to pick the razor for you and use code MANTALKS. You’ll get two years worth of blades free with your razor—just make sure to add them to your cart.Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources:

Talking points: attachment, tactics, mindsetLet’s admit we all want a relationship that’s balanced and has minimal conflict and insecurity. I’ve talked about what anxious and avoidant couples do, but how do securely attached couples navigate? Here are five things to model.(00:00:00) - Intro, and a quick recap on the main attachment styles (00:07:30) - What do securely attached people in relationships do? Number one: healthy conflict  and resolution building(00:10:45) - Number two: they operate from a place of trust(00:12:40) - Number three: they can self-regulate and work towards healthy de-escalation (00:16:54) - Number four: they have a healthy balance of independence and togetherness(00:19:45) - Number five: they create, maintain, and repair connection(00:25:04) - If you’re not sure which one to start with, start here***This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Get matched quickly with a therapist who can help you through the tough times and help you learn more about the best version of you yet. Visit

Talking points: cultureThis one will rattle some people, but it needs saying. Let’s just leave it at that.(00:00:00) - Intro, and why shaming men is a bad approach to better behavior(00:05:27) - The patriarchy virus(00:11:06) - Yes, this has a lot of a complexity, but dehumanizing men who aren’t in power isn’t helping anyone(00:14:19) - The practical consequences and how we need to take a step back***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Ap