Behind The Mirror

In this episode, I offer deconstructed thoughts on what it means to be born of water and spirit. And how the process of being born again is one that is repeated throughout the spiritual journey of life over and over again.  Anna's Blog: www.annadimmel.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel

Trauma bonding is either healthy or unhealthy. These bonds are built through shared trauma experiences, whether through story sharing of the trauma or through shared experiences. The effects of unhealthy trauma bonding often result in anxiety, fear of being unheard or the constant need for validation. However, the benefits of healthy trauma bonding, offer a safe place to heal and naturally receive validation. In this episode, I share what I've learned from a lifetime of unhealthy trauma bonding and how I've created a spiritual practice of maintaining a sacred circle around my trauma.   Anna's blog: www.annadimmel.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel

It is no secret that during the last few years we witnessed a huge rise in faith deconstruction. Where new questions were being asked, new conversations and new ways of thinking emerged. Many left the church during this time and have been wandering in a wilderness of pain and recovery. But, Spirit is shifting things in 2020. It is sparking a new movement outside of the walls of religiosity. Those who worked hard to find healing are stepping into a new chapter this year. One filled with JOY, happiness, peace, comfort, healing, magic and all things full of child-like wonder. If the last decade has felt heavy, be encouraged. Everything is changing this year.  Anna's blog: www.annadimmel.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel

There is magic this time of year that is often overlooked by commitments, obligations, sadness, grief and anxiety. But, in this episode, I share how I'm changing the way this season feels for me - and most importantly, how I am learning to honor my soul and the divine magic of Christmas.  Anna's blog: www.annadimmel.com Anna's Holiday Gift Guide: https://annadimmel.com/2019/11/25/best-unique-holiday-gift-guide-with-a-purpose/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel

This is such an awkward topic! It was awkward back when I was trying to "save" and witness to my friends. And now it feels super awkward as I can't remember the last time I said even that word. lol Like many Christians, years ago, I was desperately trying to do the right thing and keep those I loved from going to hell. After going through deconstruction and letting go of institutions, organizations and any fear of hell, I was left with just me and Spirit - which shed lots of light on many subjects, such as this. In the episode, I explore this part of my journey from the beginning stages (ie: witnessing to everyone) to where I am today. Anna's Blog: www.annadimmel.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel

In middle school, reading the Bible became my outlet and central point of connection with Spirit. It was a tender place that I held onto through adulthood. The studying of scripture became a passion and led me to eventually become a pastor. But, there was a point when my relationship shifted with the Bible. In this episode, I talk about when my relationship with the Bible changed and how I handled those shifts during the deconstruction process. Where God led me to let go of the idol I had made the Bible to be, and embrace the realness of my relationship with Spirit - outside of any religious constraints. I candidly talk about what this has looked like post deconstruction and the healing I continue to walk through.  Anna's blog: www.annadimmel.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel Shop wellness: https://www.myyl.com/anna-dimmel

Before deconstructing, my life involved loads of prayer. Since I was a kid, prayer was a huge part of my life. I literally have nearly 50 journals filled with tear-stained pages, pleading and begging for God's comfort, peace and direction. In this episode, I discuss the damaging cycle so many find themselves in when God is their only safe place, only sense of connection and acceptance, or only "lover" of their soul. It sets the tone for depression, isolation and loads of denial.  During my journey in the wilderness, everything was stripped away - including my prayer life. I wanted connection with Spirit, but not the idol of religion it had been packaged in. Spirit led me to trade desperate hunger prayers, for prayers of acceptance, gratitude and authentic healing.  Anna's blog: www.annadimmel.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel Shop: https://www.myyl.com/anna-dimmel

Every single person deals with jealousy on some level. But, it's one of those hush-hush topics that no one talks about. Whether it's jealousy over someone's relationship, career, good opportunity, house or lot in life, just know that these thoughts are soooo common. In this episode, I unravel the patterns of jealousy and how it's merely just an obstacle in the way of finding our true path. Sharing from my own journey, I offer tips on how to change your inner dialogue and accept the beautiful journey that is only YOURS.  Anna's Blog: www.annadimmel.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel Shop Wellness: https://www.myyl.com/anna-dimmel  

For years, I believed it was my job to fix the toxic relationships in my life. I believed by doing everything "right", eventually good would win out and all would be well. But my fear of being disliked, rejected and misunderstood blinded my ability to see just how toxic some of these relationships were. I became a slave to these relationships and they began to completely run my life. In this episode, I talk candidly about my 15 year journey of navigating toxic relationships and discovering that fixing them wasn't the answer - accepting the reality of what these relationships truly were held my ticket to freedom (and peace).  Anna's blog: www.annadimmel.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel Wellness: https://annadimmel.com/wellness/

This week marks the Autumn equinox which often brings a significant amount of change. As many of us are leaving a season of loss, heartache, grief and wilderness wandering, this shift offers an invitation to step into the next chapter. This season, in particular, is all about harvest, abundance and the preparation for new things. A season of celebration that we made it this far - and the reassurance that everything will be okay.  Anna's blog: www.annadimmel.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel Wellness: https://annadimmel.com/wellness/

The path to authenticity can often feel lonely. When we leave the status quo to run after something real, an empty space is created. Whether it's a deconstruction of faith, community, marriage or friendship, the voids left behind can be a lonely place. In this episode I talk about my personal journey: from having viral blogs, speaking engagements, a thriving career, and a full social calendar, to losing the majority of my following and my personal and social world going to crickets. In my journey of following Spirit into the wild, I found myself in a vast, lonely wilderness. The good news is that when you land in this place, you are exactly where you need to be.  Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel Spiritual Living: https://justajesusfollower.com/spiritual-living/

One thing I'm beginning to learn is how much we see the world through our own cultural lens. And when I say culture, I don't mean our demographics - I mean what our background is, what we have been taught to believe about the world and those around us. How we view the world has everything to do with our own personal culture. In this episode, I explore the idea of how much this affects everything from how we view ourselves to our ability to connect with others.  Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel

We all have tender, soft parts of us. We equally have strong, powerful parts of us. For a long time, these dynamics were out of balance for me. Not because I didn't have them, but because I thought I needed permission to access them. Which left me in this kind of numb space. When you feel like all you can be is gentle, you end up full of rage - because the power has no where to go. And when you feel like all you have to be is strong, you end up with loads of anxiety. Because the tenderness has no where it feels safe. These power dynamics inside of us are constant. Learning to lean into what our body needs to express and what our heart needs to feel, is so vital. Every part matters and every part is needed. In this episode, I share from my own journey of "stuffing" my emotions (for YEARS) in trying to be good. I talk about how this affected my parenting, being a spouse and the daily panic attacks I endured. I also open up about the year when I finally brought them all to the surface.   Anna's blog: www.jus

We are made of three equal parts: mind, body and spirit. But, for many of us, mind and spirit are seen as the focus while our bodies are the afterthought. The body is often viewed as the flesh; the part that needs to be contained, managed and taught to submit. In this episode, I explore the idea of body being equally as valuable (and good) as spirit and mind. I share my experiences from purity culture and the lengths I went to in denying myself. I talk about how abuse and trauma played a part in my disconnection with body and how I separated from my body altogether. Disconnection with our bodies can lead to many addictive behaviors, self-harm, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, etc. This episode is an honest look at my journey of learning self-acceptance, self-forgiveness, being present and how I am climbing back into my skin again - embracing every part of body as GOOD.  Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com Suggested guided meditation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TvIdqigPk4&list=PLb09q0R7gA

Living with regret is something many of us struggle with. From our career, parenting, love life, marriage and relationships, the desire to do everything "right" is a high standard to achieve. But, because of the pressure to be "perfect", we can we get entangled in the fear of making mistakes, so we get stuck...unable to move forward. Or we feel such pain over the mistakes we've made that we lose the ability to trust ourselves. Learning to see mistakes as part of the way we are designed to live, shifts the perspective. Trusting that we were made to make mistakes and grow from them, is trusting the Divine. Every decision has value - good, holy value. Living from this place opens us up to take risks, try new things and live a life free from shame. Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel

Dr. Winell is a human development consultant, educator, and writer in the San Francisco Bay Area. Her background includes 28 years of experience in human services, in both community and academic settings. She holds a doctorate in Human Development and Family Studies from Pennsylvania State University and is the author of Leaving the Fold: A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving their Religion. We discuss the symptoms of RTS, the cycle of abuse that occurs in many churches and how the trauma of betrayal from former friends of loved ones in your faith community can leave damaging effects.  If you enjoy our conversation and would like to talk with Dr. Winell personally, look for the free 20 min session link on her website and mention the podcast when contacting her.  Dr. Marlene Winell: https://journeyfree.org/ Anna's Blog: www.justajesusfollower.com  

Before I sat down to record this episode, I asked myself: if I could only say one thing what would it be? My answer to that question was immediate: you don't have to be defined by pain. THIS is the core of my message. This one sentence is everything. Because every single one of us has experienced pain. But, how we handle pain depends greatly on our personalities; it also determines the kind of life we will live moving forward. In this episode, I share from my own struggle with pain and offer hope to rise on the other side softer and stronger.  Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel

After writing a recent blog on my journey of becoming affirming, I received a lot of questions like, "How can you be affirming when the Bible is so clear?" I decided a podcast would be the best way to address this subject in its entirety. I share how I walked through friends and family coming out to me, which began my journey of wrestling with theology. Covering the famous passages in scripture that address homosexuality, I break down historical context and translations. I discuss Old Testament, New Testament, Jesus and the spirit of the law vs. the legalism of it. All in all, this is one pastor's story of how I went from "the Bible is so clear" to becoming an affirming ally of the LGBTQ community.    Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel   References for further reading: Rev. Justin Cannon: https://www.gaychurch.org/homosexuality-and-the-bible/the-bible-christianity-and-homosexuality/ Unclobber, by Cloby Martin: https://www.amazon.com/UnClobber-Rethinking-

I invite the author of, Post-Traumatic Church Syndrome Reba Riley to chat with me about her spiritual quest of experiencing thirty religions before her thirtieth birthday. As a former self-described Evangelical poster child, her journey defied nearly every barrier she had between herself, others and God.  Reba shares how her beliefs about God shifted, as well as how she was received (eh, not so received) by her "Christian" friends. Reba gets honest and real as she describes the breaking point in her faith and betrayal from her community. Our conversation is full of wit, humor and honest raw transparency as we talk about ALL the things.   Reba Riley: http://www.rebariley.com/ Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel 

The idea of "conversion" typically sparks thoughts of salvation experiences or of exchanging an old life for a new one. But, when I read the story of Paul's conversion now, I can't help but see it through a different lens. The story of Paul's conversion is one of trading hate for acceptance, murder for protection and anger for love. It is the story of one human's encounter with the Divine and how it completely wrecked his religious agenda.  Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel