Behind The Mirror

Are women able to lead without a male “spiritual authority” over them? Taking a look at church history, American history and biblical history, Anna explores the indoctrinated beliefs of patriarchy and spiritual authority. She discusses what was taught to her inside of church regarding her role as a woman - and how the example of Jesus (and God) in scripture dismantle the typical Christian (and patriarchal) gender roles.

Anna has an unfiltered conversation with friend and worship leader Marley Allenbrand. Challenging the common understanding of the verse, “be in the world and not of it”, they discuss Western Christianity and the culture it claims to be separate from. Are they all that different? Or is it just high school all over again?  Anna takes a different perspective on this verse and how it relates to the political climate, faith groups and social groups.

In a transparent episode, Anna takes a leap of courage and addresses a topic that has been the source of anxiety and stress most of her life: lonliness. Growing up in the evangelical world, she learned to hide her inner thoughts and ideas for fear of being too different or not "Christian" enough. She also learned to avoid closeness, for fear of being too "codependent". She met everyone else's needs - but learned to not meet her own. She shares the crippling affect this had on her dating life, marriage, sexuality and friendships and equally the redemption she is experiencing in finding authentic connection, intimacy and true belonging. 

On a drive home, Anna turns on her phone and records a raw conversation between herself and God. She shares her struggle with trying to control the outcome of situations and how she has learned to embrace the beauty of managing her cicumstances - not micro managing them. In every season of pain, survival or "ending", comes an invitation to new-birth. Peace, joy, adventure and your very best self can be present in the midst of a season of survival.

After being quiet for a year, Anna brings a heartfelt, honest look at the last year of her life. A divorce, the death of two family members and the ending of her role as a pastor - it was a year of pain, anger and grief. But, it was the beginning of a much needed crack in her exterior that led to the undoing of much that she had accepted as "normal". The year was spent in somewhat of a quiet inward wilderness, but it pushed her to be honest - really honest - about her story, journey and what she thinks/questions/believes about God. This episode is the beginning of that conversation.