How To Survive

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It's episode 302, and Oliver's a f*cking weirdo, isn't he? Bring Her Back (2025) follows sibling pair Andy and Piper, who are sent to live with foster parent Laura following the death of their father. Despite a fairly benevolent first impression, Laura's new age weirdness soon becomes something more sinister, as she tries to drive a wedge between the pair for her own mysterious aims. We discuss a film chock full of horrific eating-adjacent nastiness, a surprisngly touching sophomore effort from the Phillipou brothers, venture some suggestions for more sensible foster policies and wonder whether a Talk To Me cinematic universe is on the cards. Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: it's just meat. Next time, on the Patreon, it's time for a (long overdue) Bonus episode, whereas on the public feed we'll be taking a look at Weapons (2025).

It's episode 301, and thank you for accepting my invitation. Now tell me, why haven't you delivered the filthy swine to me yet? The Purge (2013) tells the story of The Sandin Family, who shelter in their home-fortress on the evening of 'The Purge'. Following some kind of revolution in the USA, there is now an annual 'purge', where laws are suspended and violence is legal (and even encouraged). All seems fine, until their home-security (and morals) are put to the test. We talk about the best career for someone in a Purge-type situation (painting and decorating?); the limitations of security that is deterrent-only; and the all-round benefits of an impromptu camping trip. Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Incoming reports show this year's Purge has been the most successful to date, with the most murders committed. Next time, we attempt to Bring Her Back (2025)

It’s episode 300 Part 3…and the truth shall be your curse... Fear Street Part Three: 1666 (2021) sees our heroes transported back to 1666 to live out the final days of Sarah Fier, as she is accused of being a witch. But was she really a witch? And when they learn the truth, how will it change things in the present day (which is, as we know, 1994...). We reflect on the rich tradition of deliberate sequels; ask whether the juice was worth the squeeze; and answer once and for all whether generational punishment has a place in teen-targeted slasher movies. All of which leads to one question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: I will shadow you for eternity. I will follow you forever. And everything you take and everyone you harm, you'll feel the grip of my hand. Next time, over at Patreon.com/howtosurvivepod we're covering The Pyramid (2014).

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It’s episode 300 Part 2…and no-one gets out of this town, not even Miss Perfect. Fear Street Part Two: 1978 (2021) continues the Shadyside strife with a trip back in time to 1978, as C Berman relays the story of her sister's death at Camp Nightwing. Ziggy is a rebellious Shadyside-r who is growing increasingly distant from her sister Cindy, who longs for a better life away from Shadyside. But when a co-ed camp of Sunnyvale and Shadyside kids erupts into murderous chaos, the sisters have to band together to try to survive. We talk about maybe the first sequel that is better because it's a sequel, dig into the increasingly fun Shadyside palimpsest, chew over obvious allusions to Stephens King and Fridays 13th, and question the design decision-making behind a perilous portaloo. All of which leads to one question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing'

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It’s episode 300 Part 1…and stop being mad at me for wanting a different future. Fear Street Part One: 1994 (2021) introduces us to the crime-ridden city of Shadyside, the supposed ‘murder capital’ of the United States. Amidst the latest killing spree, star-crossed lovers Deena and Sam become embroiled in the town’s mysterious and macabre history after accidentally disturbing a witch’s grave.  We talk about our hopes and fears for a coherent trilogy of ‘My First Horror’ films, discuss a particularly gruesome bakery-related death, query the power distribution practices of the Shadyside Mall, and run the risk being added to a watchlist while wondering what the least destructive way to kill someone (and bring them back) is. All of which leads to one question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: it began as a prank... and ended in murder.

This episode was originally released as a Patreon bonus. To find out more, head to Patreon.com/howtosurvivepod It's time for the long-awaited 300th Episode Spectacular! It's a bumper session, filled with correspondence and reflections - and we couldn't be more grateful to everyone who has been part of the fun. You can also expect a few announcements about upcoming features - including a return to covering not one but TWO franchises. Thanks for all your support. It means a huge amount that you've listened to, enjoyed, and kept listening to How to Survive over the years.  Love, Chris and Joe xx

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It’s episode 299…My mommy always said there were no monsters. No real ones. But there are. Alien Resurrection (1997) is the concluding chapter in the Alien Quadrilogy, and introduces Ripley 8, a supercharged Xeno-human hybrid of Ellen Ripley, cloned in a lab to act as a genetic vessel to recover the Xenomorphs from the annals of history 200 years after both they and Ripley were obliterated in molten lava at the end of Alien 3. It really is as simple as that. We settle some unfinished business with the lesser-loved film in one of our favourite franchises, talk about the pros and cons of 90s cool girl action, query the logic of bringing a ticking time bomb along as a passenger, and indeed the logic of firing a continent-sized bomb at Earth to save lives, and marvel at the biggest and best shoulder hair ever captured on film. All of which leads to one question: Ho

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It’s episode 298…and at 50, it all stops. The Substance (2024) follows Elisabeth Sparkle, a fading Hollywood star who is fired from her TV fitness show when she reaches 50. Learning of ‘The Substance’, a black market pharmaceutical product that promises to create ‘a better version of you’, she signs up, producing Sue - a younger, idealised version of herself who soon finds the stardom Elisabeth has lost. But, despite being the same person, Elisabeth and Sue become increasingly fractious roommates, and as their contempt for one another grows, disaster ensues. We break down one of the best films of the last year, a tour-de-force of body horror maximalism, featuring a million shots of an arse, disgusting eating sounds and jaw-dropping prosthetic effects. But is it good? Does it, while highlighting the objectification of women, objectify women in turn? And how much

Anyone can feel strong hiding behind a piece of metal. I prefer to know my own strength. Love Lies Bleeding (2024) tells the story of Lou, a gym owner who falls in love with Jackie, a gym user who plans to enter a bodybuilding contest. As they fall deeper in love, they become tied up in violence, deception and crime - all thanks to Lou’s family and their violent, deceitful, criminal ways.  We offer investigation tips to the FBI, question whose perspective you can really trust, and question the true romantic intention in giving someone drugs the moment you meet them.  All of which leads to one question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: It's the ones you love the most who always disappoint you in the end.

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It’s episode 296…and you’d be surprised what the human brain can edit out when it can't handle the truth. Censor (2021) follows Enid, a censor at the BBFC during the moral panic around ‘Video Nasties’ - a 1980s proliferation of graphic horror movies flooding the new frontier of VHS home entertainment. Enid acts as a kind of moral guardian, exposing herself to these films so the wider public don’t have to, but when one film unearths her past trauma, Enid begins a spiral that will lead her to some very real horror. We discuss a slightly muddled treatise on trauma and media influence, praise the immaculate vibes of 1980s film logos, question the security setup of low-budget film shoots and wonder whether stunt weapons are a necessity, or simply health and safety gone mad. All of which leads to one question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It’s episode 295…and what big eyes you have, what big hands you have. Ghostwatch (1992) was broadcast ‘as live’ on BBC 1, on Halloween night in 1992, and saw TV stalwarts Michael Parkinson and Sarah Greene trying to prove the existence of the paranormal by taking a camera crew to ‘the most haunted house in Britain’. While the show documented the Early family’s suffering at the hands of Mr Pipes, the poltergeist, the real story began after the show’s broadcast, where tens of thousands felt duped by its immaculate recreation of 1990s live broadcasting tropes. We break down an underrated shout for the most influential horror movie of all time, discuss a directorial tour-de-force that left a nation unable to trust some of its most beloved presenters, ponder the various reasons for the furore that followed its broadcast and wonder whether Ghostwatch could ever be ma

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It’s episode 294…and you've made it to the belly of the beast, congratulations, very few come this far. MaXXXine (2024) concludes Ti West’s X trilogy, following Maxine Minx in her journey to Hollywood stardom. But as she’s pursued by a mysterious leather-clad stalker, it’s not long before Maxine’s friends and colleagues start turning up dead. Is Maxine’s bloody past catching up to her, or is something even more sinister at play? We break down an uneven conclusion to a nonetheless excellent horror movie trilogy, the gigawatt star power of Mia Goth, the corrupting influence of various forms of media across fifty years of American history, the dos and don’ts of car surveillance and the potential legality of head-crushing. All of which leads to one question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Do you know what happened to the last person

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It’s episode 294…and I'm sorry, it seems I wore my long legs today. Longlegs (2024) follows FBI agent Lee Harker, who is assigned to the case of a serial killer who is apparently responsible for compelling several patriarchs to murder their families across multiple decades, with the only trace being cryptic letters signed ‘Longlegs’. Can Agent Harker prevent more murders, and will Longlegs’ origins prove to be closer to home than she thinks?  We talk about the horror movie dubbed ‘the scariest film of the decade’, the highs and lows of a film that wants to be both arthouse and popcorn, a creepy character that evokes Old Gregg and Jennifer Coolidge, the importance of getting out of the car and whether investigating your own mum counts as a conflict of interest. Plus, isn’t it annoying when Satan inverts a trend? All of which leads to one question: How would you

aka Vermines (2023) It’s episode 292…and are you interested in animals? Infested/Vermines (2023) tells the story of Kaleb, a young man with a passion for selling sneakers and buying bugs. Living in a multicultural melting pot of a tower block, his friendships have become strained following the death of his mother. Can he reconnect with his Jordy, his childhood best friend, and reconcile with his sister Manon? Anything is possible if you move forward with grace and acceptance. Oh, and he also bought a new spider and it’s escaped. Probably fine. We talk about a genuinely horrific set of spiders doing spider-y things, rave about the best bathroom scene since Mandy, pull apart the potential of PPE and wonder whether an armed policeman shouldn’t be more ‘yes and’ in his approach to life. All that, and the question on everybody’s lips - who would survive the spider tower best out of Batman, Spider-Man and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? All of which leads to one question: How would you survive? Whatever happens,

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It’s episode 291…and would anyone object if I tore this floor out? Arachnophobia (1990) takes us to the sleepy Californian town of Canaima, via the jungle sinkholes of Venezuela, to follow the story of the newly arrived family physician Dr Ross Jennings. When townsfolk begin dropping dead in mysterious circumstances, Jennings suspects foul play of the eight-legged variety, but is it just his Arachnophobia talking? No, as we’ve seen the spider, and it’s been biting and killing people.  Death comes to a Spielberg-inflected sleepy suburbia as we talk about spiders vs. dead mammals, another in a long line of creepy coroners with bad food hygiene, programmes you’d take your phone off the hook for and why an entomologist suddenly becomes a spider-freak. All of which leads to one question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: A web would indi

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It’s episode 290…and the Internet and dreams are similar. They're areas where the repressed conscious mind escapes. Paprika (2006) follows its titular dream-based protagonist, and her real-life alter ego Dr Atsuko Chiba, as she administers a futuristic form of therapy using a prototype device called the DC Mini. However, when so-called ‘Dream Terrorists’ steal the devices and use it to run rampant through other people’s dreams with disastrous results, it’s up to Dr Chiba and her motley crue of scientists to find them before it’s too late. We break down the second half of Anime horror/Satoshi Kon/’films that Hollywood sort of remade with just enough changes to avoid a lawsuit’ season (what could this film about a device that allows you to invade other people’s dreams have inspired I wonder?) and discuss the joys and pains of a creative portrayal of limitless dre

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It’s episode 289…and you're tarnished and filthy. Perfect Blue (1997) follows the story of Mima, a Japanese pop idol who gives up singing at the advice of her management in order to pursue an acting career instead. What follows is a descent into paranoia and doubt as Mima begins to lose track of who she is, all as mysterious murders occur in her vicinity. Part one of Anime Horror/inspiration for legally distinct Hollywood movie season kicks off with a bang, as we discuss an artful treatise on the nature of identity, the often problematic sexualisation of young women in Japanese media, whether truck drivers should be more urgent with braking and well-trodden path of Disney actor to sexually explicit pop star. All of which leads to one question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: illusions can't come to life. Next time on the main feed

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It’s episode 288…and we have travelled further into space than any humans before us. Aniara (2018) follows a titular ship of evacuees escaping a climate-ravaged Earth as they set out for a new life on Mars. When a collision with some space debris results in the ship losing all control, the Aniara begins to drift further out into deep space. As weeks turn into years, we see isolation, terror and nihilism overwhelm the passengers. Is there any salvation? We reach peak bleak, discuss sex cults and eating algae, break down a painfully resonant allegory for climate nihilism while making the case for radical optimism, and try against all the odds to find a survival method in an unsurvivable situation. All of which leads to one question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Once the passengers get used to eating algae, we'll go public with th

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How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It’s episode 287…and you mean more to me than any scientific truth. Solaris (1973) sees psychologist Kriss Kelvin dispatched to a space station orbiting the titular planet to see if the skeleton crew’s reports of strange goings on and mysterious 4 metre tall babies are to be believed, or whether it’s a simple case of space madness. While there, he is disturbed by the presence of unexpected ‘guests’ on the station, not least the appearance of his wife Hari, who died a decade earlier. We talk about a Soviet science fiction classic, discuss what it means to be human, whether Solaris is just a planet-sized printer, draw up a cost/benefit analysis of firing antique oak bookshelves into space and finally find out the question on everyone’s lips - can you eat a burger made out of neutrinos? Plus, a heartwarming story about Joe’s young son being obsessed with going to