Synopsis
Welcome to Straight Off The Top Of My Headlines, a podcast where I take headlines from recent(?) news and pretend like I know from that information what the first paragraph of the article is going to be.
Episodes
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SOTTOMH Ep 31 - The B Track Of God's Plagues
02/02/2019 Duration: 01h08minTrigger warning for talk of rape and necrophilia, when you hear about Trevor the duck fast forward 2-4 minutes In this episode Kevin Hendrix and I talk a whole lot about novelty cheque scams, 30% of the entire earth requiring condoms, some lesser-known plagues, Jesus taking the wheel, big ol’ borders for pigs, the atrocities of mallards and male sea otters, shark leftovers, Alexa being creepy, sense memory from your chompers, some homeopathic solutions to measles, and then we have fun figuring out What’s Florida Man Been Up To! Listen to Kevin and his wife on their show Chatimals, it’s on iTunes! So is Quizbox! And also look out for Knives At Night! Follow me on: Twitter - @AJ_Ganaros Follow the show on: Twitter - @StraightOffPod Facebook - facebook.com/straightoffpod Tumblr - straightoffpod.tumblr.com GMail - straightoffpod@gmail.com Find the show on - Soundcloud - Apple Podcasts - Google Play - Stitcher - Podbean https://globalnews.ca/news/4859133/1-on-lotto-novelty-cheque/ https://www.nationalgeogr
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SOTTOMH Ep 30 - Hey Jimmy G This One Isn't For You
27/01/2019 Duration: 43minIn this episode Carly Fraser joins me to talk about 6-pack rings made of seaweed and semen, a house fire that could have easily been avoided, baking with jizz to avoid depression, Iggy’s “iconic” tunes, a man who has realized his dreams, a frog with the worst case of blue balls, and we also play a game of Would Florida Man Rather! Follow Carly’s podcast on instagram @weirdsheep_thepod and send her some messages to weirdsheepthepod@gmail.com Look out for Weird Sheep on your favorite podcatchers, it should be coming out soon! Follow me on: Twitter - @AJ_Ganaros Follow the show on: Twitter - @StraightOffPod Facebook - facebook.com/straightoffpod Tumblr - straightoffpod.tumblr.com GMail - straightoffpod@gmail.com Find the show on - Soundcloud - Apple Podcasts - Google Play - Stitcher - Podbean Article Links: https://www.nola.com/environment/index.ssf/2018/05/six-pack_rings_that_feed_sea_t.html https://abcnews.go.com/US/woman-angry-boyfriend-sparked-massive-apartment-fire-officials/story?id=58323710 https
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SOTTOMH Ep 29 - There's A Snake In My Boot
19/01/2019 Duration: 01h23minIn this episode Aiden’s back to talk with me about Logan Paul’s bad stunt, the moon’s consumption of our boys and distribution of cheese clones, a blood-fetish robot with a heart of gold and probably iron, the world getting Pangea 2, Wendy’s nuggets winning the house vote, the unpaid government workers of the shut-down taking up bounty hunting, Trump getting bounty-hunter-bullied into paying the government workers during the shut down, Rihanna’s distaste for her dad’s new hot dog stand, my recent name-change to Vlad, surgeons gettin’ freaky with some dead feet, and there’s also a game of Fuck Marry Kill: Florida Man Edition! Follow Aiden on: Twitter - @kinsellaaiden Follow his show “Good Idea” on: Twitter - @goodideacast Instagram - @goodideacast Tumblr - @goodideacast Find his show “Good Idea” on: - Apple Podcasts - Stitcher - Libson - Google Play - “Pretty much anywhere you can get a podcast…” Follow me on: Twitter - @AJ_Ganaros Follow the show on: Twitter - @StraightOffPod Facebook - facebook.com/st
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SOTTOMH Ep 28 - "Foon Spull" And Other Human Words
13/01/2019 Duration: 01h39minIn this episode I'm joined by Jeff Richardson to talk about things like super woke aliens, Chester Cheetoh the really horny Cheetah, the very serious case of weasels in New York, the most awkward approach to getting a raise ever, the hot new barrel fashion trends, the world's first non-slippery grease, aliens can hang, super bugs take over the world, the NFL is stupid, Sonic the Hedgehog is getting his chili dog sauce everywhere, cats have the best furniture, and we play a game of What's Florida Man Been Up To! Follow Jeff on Twitter @eljefetacoma Find Jeff's shows wherever fine Podcasts are sold! - Everything Is Awesome with Jeff and KC - Shattered Worlds RPG - The War For The Tower Follow me on: Twitter - @AJ_Ganaros Follow the show on: Twitter - @StraightOffPod Facebook - facebook.com/straightoffpod Tumblr - straightoffpod.tumblr.com GMail - straightoffpod@gmail.com Find the show on - Soundcloud - Apple Podcasts - Google Play - Stitcher - Pod-bean Article Links: https://www.bbc.com/news/science-envir
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SOTTOMH Ep 27 - Pay Your Bond In $2 Bills
05/01/2019 Duration: 01h21minIn this episode I'm joined by Charneil Bush to talk about the dropbox approach to recruiting, how Netflix saved a family, a friendly youtube competition between cousins, egg pranks, doing a Fortnite at your cheating ex's dad's airport, the touching story of a cow turned hero, the strange beings that come to us from planet Trump Tower, and we ban Bernie Sanders from poisoning any more democrats, plus there's a fun game of Fuck Marry Kill: Florida Man Edition at the end! Follow Charneil on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat @charneilb Find his many shows on just about any podcatcher: - What About Your Friends - What Did You Do?!? - Boys Love Beyoncé Follow me on: Twitter - @AJ_Ganaros Follow the show on: Twitter - @StraightOffPod Facebook - facebook.com/straightoffpod Tumblr - straightoffpod.tumblr.com GMail - straightoffpod@gmail.com Find the show on - Soundcloud - Apple Podcasts - Google Play - Stitcher - Pod-bean Article Links: https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-46747862 https://www.nbcconnecticut.com/news/nat
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SOTTOMH Ep 26 - The Wizard Guarding The Animal Shelter
29/12/2018 Duration: 30minIn this episode I honestly thought I was gonna do a short one but I was having too much fun to cut it short so instead we do our best to not set the house on fire, Lake Charles is full of mermaids, you must answer my riddles three to get to the animal shelter, Fiona the hippo revenge-eats Simba, dogs are more fascinated by lights than I would think, your racist aunt or uncle is only figuratively trash, Boxing Day isn’t really all that exciting, we’re all taking our trees out for a night on the town, bartenders are nice to talk to after dealing with unsavory family members, and Mariah Carey is out here crushing records. Follow me on: Twitter - @AJ_Ganaros Follow the show on: Twitter - @StraightOffPod Facebook - facebook.com/straightoffpod Tumblr - straightoffpod.tumblr.com GMail - straightoffpod@gmail.com Find the show on - Soundcloud - Apple Podcasts - Google Play - Stitcher - Pod-bean Article Links: https://www.news10.com/news/local-news/from-wacky-to-common-what-not-to-do-post-holiday/1675913899 http:/
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SOTTOMH Ep 25 - Old News: Episodes 2 - 12
25/12/2018 Duration: 29minIn today's episode we go full bottle-neck and revisit bits from older episodes. But why AJ? There's only 24 episodes prior, there's not much to reminisce on, why do this now? Well 1) It's the holidays and reminiscing is always fun during these times, and 2) I've had a lot on my plate recently so I figured this would be a fun idea. Also it's December 25th and this is the 25th episode, how could I not wait it out for this. Happy Holidays all, hope you enjoy this stroll down memory lane! (ps. the reason this excludes episode 1 is because there was nothing I thought particularly funny in there, I had to get ONE bad one out of the way folks!)
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SOTTOMH Ep 24 - Gone Afield
17/12/2018 Duration: 01h15minIn this episode I talk with a sir Chase Greenlee and we go on just so many tangents as we talk about being bad at keeping track of which day of Hannukah it is, my Lampoon crimes, the Predator’s December Monster Mash, the forbidden kiss between Tevye and his youngest daughter’s love interest, guinea pigs being thrown in hot tubs, your choice to eat the block party street chocolate provided by Milton S. Hershey the Chocolate Lich, the depressing secret to not gaining weight over the holidays, Timmy’s naughty behavior during the holidays, the over-played nature of minions during the holidays, and then we play a game of fuck marry kill Florida Man edition. Follow Chase on Twitter @TQLoudly Check out Chase’s projects!: - Another Path, an actual play RPG podcast that can be found on twitter @AnotherPathPod - Shakesbeer, a podcast that talks about all of William Shakespeare’s works, they have a website at Lionfaceproductions.com/shakesbeer Find these projects wherever you get your podcasts Follow me on: Twitter -
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SOTTOMH Ep 23 - Live Forever By Not Reading
07/12/2018 Duration: 33minIn this episode there’s unfortunately no holiday song to end the show because life happened, but there is lively conversation about over-bearing lights, holiday stress, book stores not giving a single fuck anymore, Satan being uninvited to Jesus’ birthday party, spending all your money and going into debt for the holidays, vegan un-friendly gifts, breaking and entering, the forbidden holiday songs, and all the coworkers you hate getting fired. Follow me on: Twitter - @AJ_Ganaros Follow the show on: flop Twitter - @StraightOffPod Facebook - facebook.com/straightoffpod Tumblr - straightoffpod.tumblr.com GMail - straightoffpod@gmail.com Find the show on - Soundcloud - Apple Podcasts - Google Play - Stitcher - Pod-bean Article Links: https://www.snopes.com/ap/2018/12/06/florida-neighbors-scorn-woman-over-holiday-display/ https://www.foxnews.com/lifestyle/the-holiday-stress-out-88-percent-of-americans-study-claims https://www.marketwatch.com/story/barnes-nobles-top-20-holiday-gift-ideas-include-only-1-book
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SOTTOMH Ep 22 - McDonald's Zombie Pies
01/12/2018 Duration: 35minIn this episode it’s the start of the Holiday Season here on SOTTOMH and to kick it off I talk about Christmas-themed Marvel cut-outs, a train full of poop, the logistics of how one poor man is going to carry a 60” TV from Santa to his car, a very ruinous light display, pacing yourself on that good good holiday food (unlike me), Taco Bell’s grand idea for holiday marketing, everyone is watching 10 different versions of the same movie and that’s okay, how to keep yourself safe this holiday season, equalizing Dorchester, and some dangerous pies from the Macced Donald’s. Also I sing for y’all at the end. Follow me on: Twitter - @AJ_Ganaros Follow the show on: Twitter - @StraightOffPod Facebook - facebook.com/straightoffpod Tumblr - straightoffpod.tumblr.com GMail - straightoffpod@gmail.com Find the show on - Soundcloud - Apple Podcasts - Google Play - Stitcher - Podbean Article Links: https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2018/11/218031/trader-joes-holiday-christmas-foods-employees https://wqad.com/2018/11/28/h
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SOTTOMH Ep 21 - I Fuck You, You Fuck Me!
23/11/2018 Duration: 01h44minIn this episode Colin Parker and Bill Hinderman talk with me about things like how to fight the beer giants, the unpoke-able lizard man who is Mark Zuckerburg, the dangers of fishing without a gun, the hive mind that is News Station and their vessel Alexa, our concern (or lack-there-of) for the health and well-being of Piers Morgan, how an intern just couldn’t be bothered, a man who was touched by Della Reese the angel, Kanye being upset about the wrong things, the Illuminati’s plot to buy all XBOX ONE X consoles, the touching reconnection between Aaron Carter and Shaquille O’Neal, and we learn some pretty disturbing things about Barney in the debut premiere of Would Florida Man Rather. Follow Colin on: Twitter - @ColinMParker Instagram - @ColinMParker Follow Bill on: Twitter - @billhinderman Instagram - @billhinderman Check out the Scavengers Network!: Facebook - facebook.com/thescavengersnetwork Twitter - @ScavengersNet Website - www.scavengersnetwork.com Check out Shortwave!: Website - www.goshortwave.
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SOTTOMH Ep 20 - The Snooped Dogg's Good Good Protest
16/11/2018 Duration: 01h19minIn this episode Kate Harlow is back and we discuss things like her beef with the Tennessee bee keeper, the Snooped Dogg’s very good White House protest and how you can do it too, we make gender reveal parties better, what beards are the most attractive beards, Game of Thrones Season 8: The Movie, Time Lords and Jedi’s and Matt Smith (oh my!), keeping your cocktail k-cups out of your coffee Keurig, having hobbies that are not the gym, how ferrets aren’t any better or worse than your doggos or kitty cats, and then I make my good friend Kate decide which men from Florida she would like to fuck marry or kill. Follow Kate on: Twitter - @argonkitten Follow Kate and friends' show "Kids On Bikes" on: Twitter - @kids_bikes Instagram - @kidsonbikescast Their website - www.kidsonbikescast.com Find Kate and friends' show "Kids On Bikes" on: - "Any of your fine podcasting services" Follow me on: Twitter - @AJ_Ganaros Follow the show on: Twitter - @StraightOffPod Facebook - www.facebook.com/straightoffpod Tumblr - str
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SOTTOMH Ep 19 - That's How Scanners Are Born
09/11/2018 Duration: 01h17minTrigger Warning for talking about sexual harassment In this episode as soon as Kim Metzger and I stop gushing about D&D, dropping Skype calls, and spilling the tea on Swish Embassy we talk about dangerous space ro(ach)bots, I personally strangle and then necromance Geoffrey the Giraffe, Joan Rivers speaks to us using Kim as a vessel for communication, we make a short-list of people for aliens to direct their hostility towards, some people in this world really needed a news article to find out that women get catcalled, scanning was born of sweet, tender, forbidden love, sentient sedimentary rocks make for good super villains, Tony Hawk makes a surprise appearance in London to launch a pilot into the sun… set, we recount the tragedies that took place in the drone wars, we play a fun game of “What’s Florida Man Up To?” and if you stick with us through to the very end there’s a special surprise for you! Follow Kim Metzger on twitter @Metzgirl and check out her podcasts at their respective websites, servicedesk.
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SOTTOMH Ep 18 - Spooky Scary Episode
31/10/2018 Duration: 01h44sIn this episode I invite on good friend and practicing witch T to talk with me about how to be safe on the spooky night, the band of witches doing their civic duty, a graveyard smash gone wrong, all my friends hiding their witch-tendencies from me, the Spooky Express(TM), the crash course on acting like a witch, MIT’s hidden Pandoran technology, how to get burned at the stake in 1692, the IKEA hell-scape (as if it wasn’t anxiety-inducing enough), having to wait for your Hogwarts letter like everyone else, and then we go into the most horrifying (and best) game of the podcast, Fuck Marry Kill: Florida Man Edition. Follow T on Twitter @Tea_Leaves Follow me on: Twitter - @AJ_Ganaros Follow the show on: Twitter - @StraightOffPod Facebook - facebook.com/straightoffpod Tumblr - straightoffpod.tumblr.com GMail - straightoffpod@gmail.com Find the show on - Soundcloud - Apple Podcasts - Google Play - Stitcher - Podbean Bohemian Rhapsody at the Bow Tie Criterion Cinema, November 1st 2018: Address - 86 Temple St,
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SOTTOMH Ep 17 - That's Just Horses!
19/10/2018 Duration: 01h15minIn this episode Leah and Will of the EurekaNerd! podcast join me for a series of very insightful discussions including what kind of monkey would be big enough to drive a bus full of people off a cliff Thelma and Luis style, teaching a horse to either perform Julius Caeser or do backflips like Simone Biles, curry pizza exists but that’s probably not what we’re talking about, how worms can keep you from ever having to teach your children any kind of math ever, the German reboot of Home Alone, why your Fitbit or smartwatch-of-choice is going to start negging you, the strange shapes that Saturn’s magnetic field is making, and then I subject these poor people to pick from a litter of the United States’ finest in what is now my new favorite game of the podcast, Fuck Marry Kill: Florida Man Edition Follow the EurekaNerd! podcast on: Twitter - @eurekanerdcast Facebook - facebook.com/eurekanerd Website - www.eurekanerd.com GMail - eurekanerdcast@gmail.com Follow EurekaNerd! on: - Apple Podcasts - Spotify - Stitcher
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SOTTOMH Ep 16 - Thank You For Coming To My Tech Talk
12/10/2018 Duration: 59minIn this episode Amanda Webb joins me to discuss some questionable medicine, the ghost of a famous apple boy takes revenge on Steve Jobs, Orange Is The New Black is super relatable to wardens looking for escaped prisoners, the SoftBank goes a bit too far in its quest for softness, Russian spies need to step up their game, SkyNet has teamed up with ghosts, weak passwords would never have emojis, Elon Musk had his cybernetic third eye opened with the help of that dank kush, Mark Ruffalo is safe inside a Tony Stark approved tech jail where he can’t reveal any more secrets, food poisoning is a good way to work your way up the chain of international success, and we play a new game I like to call “What’s Florida Man Up To These Days?” Follow Amanda on all platforms @acwnerdfighter and be sure to look out for her new podcast “Remember That Time” Follow me on: Twitter - @AJ_Ganaros Follow the show on: Twitter - @StraightOffPod Facebook - facebook.com/straightoffpod Tumblr - straightoffpod.tumblr.com GMail - straig
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SOTTOMH Ep 15 - Kate Liz Let The Bone Dogs Out
05/10/2018 Duration: 01h03minIn this episode Kate Harlow and I talk about subliminal messaging in Indian television, sea world stays complacent in their whale apocalypse, you undoubtedly will die or get murdered in new selfie-restricted areas, filler words make you ugly (which means I'm like super ugly), the UN was a mistake, I catfish a crazy woman with a missing daughter, Buzz Aldrin is the ideal male (and female and all sexes inbetween) body type, flying lessons and Harry Potter: Quidditch World Cup team up to ruin your life with inverse controls, we bring bones to a gun fight in Fortnite, a 4-years-in-progress hermit desperately needs some shampoo and conditioner, and we play a fun game of Two Truths And A Head-Lie! Follow Kate on: Twitter - @argonkitten Follow Kate and friends' show "Kids On Bikes" on: Twitter - @kids_bikes Instagram - @kidsonbikescast Their website - www.kidsonbikescast.com Find Kate and friends' show "Kids On Bikes" on: - "Any of your fine podcasting services" Follow me on: Twitter - @AJ_Ganaros Follow the sh
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SOTTOMH Ep 14 - Jolly Green Giant Vore
28/09/2018 Duration: 01h20minIn this episode Aiden Kinsella of Good Idea joins me to announce the start of our new show “Public Service Latte,” Aiden talks about the money he keeps in his pocket pussy, Tiger Woods gives sub-par head, Google is confirmed Not-Lizard-People, an entire town is irradiated in a planetarium, wearable hair regrowth devices already have a name and it’s a weave, we revisit the life of Heather Kether, Aiden’s grandmother can kill hundreds of alligators and is protected by law, I go deep into the Jolly Green Giant, Aiden is under arrest for being an accomplice to bus crime, we discuss who our 45th president of these United States would rather have piss on him, and we play "real or fake" which I may or may not be changing the name from that to "Two Truths And A Head-Lie." Follow Aiden on: Twitter - @kinsellaaiden Follow his show “Good Idea” on: Twitter - @goodideacast Instagram - @goodideacast Tumblr - @goodideacast Find his show “Good Idea” on: - Apple Podcasts - Stitcher - Libson - Google Play - “Pretty much an
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SOTTOMH Ep 13 - Stephen Hawking's Big Dick Energy
22/09/2018 Duration: 01h10minIn this episode special guest Ian R. Buck joins me in a series of entrapments as we discuss how great Soylent Green treats their people, Jeff Goldblum keeps getting Daddy comments on his relatable minion memes he posts on Facebook, we discover the phenomenon of age transference, we talk about our own dads, we can’t 3D print objects that are green, our sensitive butts can’t handle lego cars, drones are gonna kill us all like a genocide run of Undertale, Domino’s will accept pepperoni and mushrooms as your taxes, we learn to be careful of the electric snake attached to your devices, we teach you how to properly prepare dog diarrhea, the Internet is tyrannistic, social experiments are a poor excuse to be a douchebag, I need to watch Princess Bride, stopping the McElroy Brothers is easier than expected, Stephen Hawking had Big Dick Energy, I recount my most embarrassing childhood story, phone calls are weird if you can only hear half of them, Wisconsin is weird and backwards according to our good friend Ian, peop
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SOTTOMH Ep 12 - What's Wrong With Niyanka?
16/09/2018 Duration: 31minIn this episode someone is hospitalized by some bomb-ass pussy, Apple has us all SHOOKETH, nothing’s changed with the good good speederman, some mysterious podcasters joke their way into a feature film (whoever could it be?), everybody wants to be a serial killer, kids are doing experiments behind your local sammich shops, we stan Niyanka, Nintendo discovers Capitalism, humans were assholes well before we ever thought they were, and I am 5 actual years old. Also I follow up on my promise at the end, there will be HELLA guests coming up. Follow me on: Twitter - @AJ_Ganaros Follow the show on: Twitter - @StraightOffPod Facebook - www.facebook.com/straightoffpod Tumblr - straightoffpod.tumblr.com GMail - straightoffpod@gmail.com Find the show on - Soundcloud - Apple Podcasts - Google Play - Stitcher Article Links https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-45505064 https://www.theverge.com/2018/9/12/17840950/apple-event-september-2018-news-updates-iphone-xs-watch https://www.cnet.com/news/spider-man-is-the-sa