Betrayal Recovery Radio

Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing James Annear of Core Relationship Recovery who has researched the attachment styles of betrayed partners and has found extreme wounding that effects deep trust and intimacy. Today, he will be talking about the 4 attachment styles and how they are effected when "heart wounding" occurs.

Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dan Drake and Janice Caudill on their new book, Full Disclosure: How To Share The Truth After Sexual Betrayal.  They recognize that doing a full disclosure can be both daunting and difficult, so they will be talking about their step by step approach they have created in their new workbooks. They have participated in hundreds of disclosures and have years of experience and are committed to helping you navigate a complicated yet vital part of healing after sexual betrayal.

Carol the Coach will be interviewing Marie Kriebs an expert in intimacy disorders, partner betrayal and vulnerability. As an APSATS trained therapist, she believes it is important to educate betrayed partners about healthy intimacy and the importance of personal growth and self awareness. She will be sharing some of the myths about vulnerability and helping our listeners to identify how and when they can be more vulnerable.

Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Catherine Etherington who is a part of the Naked Truth Project about some new programing that is coming out that will help you and the church know how to support addicts, partners and families all over the world! They have set up a P Word Conference to stream critical information to help set up programming to keep our communities safe. This conference will have experts from all over the world who will start the conversation to find hope and strength in the recovery process. And it can start with the church!

Sex addicts who knowingly have sex with their spouses while having unprotected sex with others are violating their spouses by undermining her self-determination over her body.  When the partner of the SA has no idea she's been "having sex" with her spouse's sex workers, a crime has been committed. Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Alex Katehakis, Ph.D, Clinical Director of Center for Healthy Sex, who believes that sex in a relationship where intimate deception is taking place is a non-consensual act and leaves many partners feeling "raped"  having been exposed to multiple sex partners and the potential to contract an STI, some of which can be fatal. Find out why few women get honest enough with themselves about the gravity of this type of gross violation!

Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Laura Jenkins and Sherri Payne, who have supported the APSATS team to help women who are hurting and alone. They would like to share their story of the betrayal they experienced in their marriages over many years, how Ithey  said “no more”, and overcame their fears to rebuild a life that was shattered. You may have experienced this, or know a woman close to you who struggles in her married relationship. Laura Jenkins says, "Our struggles are held very close and hidden, the pain and isolation leading to additional trauma beyond what our partner’s sexual acting out has dealt us."  Having gone through this and found a certain level of healing, Sherri Payne acknowleges that they have felt a definite call to help women Iand in a place of safety as they navigate through the betrayal. Her not for profit, Unbound and Free is a "pay it forward" program is a ministry that that can help partially pay to help another woman who needs access to coaching and mentoring. Laura Jenkins

Partner betrayal is devestating and you need the skills to get through it. Listen as Carol the Coach gives you tips on how to work through the pain! Today, Joanna Raabsmith is going to be talking about how she empowerw partners as their spouses struggle with sex addiction, infedelity and betrayal. When partners find out about the discovery, they typically feel disempowered and the imbalance can make them feel even more unsafe and insecure. As they become more empowered, they have more control and their personal healing increases.

Grief is a step that many many betrayed partners miss in the aftermath of Discovery day. However, it's vital in the healing process. It is in the 2nd phase of the Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model. It matters. Today, Lyschel Burket is going to talk about why grief is so important to the mind, body and spirit and how to effectively work through it to get to restoration of self.

Today, Carol the Coach is talking with trauma specialist Dr. Diane Hovey who believes that after the disclosures, the endless questions, river of tears, and tsunami of shame, the pain remains. The journey to uncover the roots of what went wrong fades in and out of the mists of  reality. Some resign. Others encounter a shift in perspective that no longer allows them to continue in the same manner. This is a turning point. A point where possibility is an opening for a new beginning. It is a place of clarity, where one can finally take flight or put down new roots.  It is a place of healing, growth, and possibility. Dr. Hovey asks what is needed to get to this point? The focus  of this talk is on fostering a paradigm shift that allows us to move beyond the never-ending search for answers and the ultimate fix. We will explore the meaning making process and spiritual dimension of healing that contribute to a new way of being. This will include ways to contemplate our own relationship with pain and suffering, on h

Today, Carol the Coach and Dr. Jake Porter will be talking about the Empathy Certification that is teaching Clinicians and Coaches how to encorporate empathy skills in early couples recovery work. ERCEM (Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model), is a premier relational training and certification that navigates professionals how to work through sexual addiction and partner betrayal from the APSATS model using the 3 phase model that works with couples to get them to post-traumatic growth. This is a premier training that has ground-breaking exercises to instill trust and empathy. The 4-day training is  from September 28th thru October 1st, 2021. To register go to APSATS.org and look for the training tab. Working with couples is hard work, but with infidelity and compulsive sexual behavioral disorder, the picture becomes much more complicated and requires extreme knowledge of how to work with couples from a partner sensitive approach and ERCEM will provide strategies that will repair the relationship and build trus

When you are betrayed by someone you trust, your whole world is turned upside down.  Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is going to discuss the devastating impact betrayal has on every part of your person and how to survive one day at a time.  She will share how broken trust can make you question your beliefs about your spouse, friends, yourself, your life, and God, and will help you see how you can learn to trust once again.  Dr. Hollenbeck is an APSATS Certified Clinical Partner Specialist, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, and a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional and offers Three Day Trauma Healing Intensives in her Orlando, Florida office.  Please visit her website at www.CrystalHollenbeck.com.

Karen and John Rellos will be sharing a community they are building for couples who are recovering from sex addiction and partner betrayal. They recognize the need for couples to have a safe community to "walk beside" other couples on this very bumpy messy road of healing. They want to provide a membership that fosters ongoing support in a safe private community with other couples who have been impacted by sexual betrayal. Listen as they share with Carol the Coach their vision to support couples in recovery.

Carol the Coach interviews Michelle whose husband was extorted for 50K and Michelle shares how she is coping and struggling with his choices.

Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing a recovery coach who has created a unique program for  betrayed wives. He explains that after a few years in The Silent Addiction as a sex addiction recovery coach, and also working as a workshp counselor for Be Broken and their Gateway to Freedom Weekend Workships for sex addicts, my heart has been burdened by the brokenness of the betrayed spouse. As a person who actually created a betrayed spouse by my own improprieties of use and an illicit affair I watched how my now ex wife struggled in so many ways while I chased my own needs.  As I coach men in their sexual addiction recovery, I am often engaged with the wives at times.  I see their trauma and pain.  I hear their rage and hopelessness and fear.  I have now gathered my ex-wife and her husband and my wife and we are spearheading this retreat for betrayed wives.  He says, "We will tell our stories, we will have special teaching directed at the women about their value, worth and incomparability.  We will have sea

People will tell you that "it's only. looking at images." But we know that looking at adult images can take anyone down and today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Joshua Shea who is a recovering ponography addict who made the error of engaging a teenage girl in an online chatroom for which he was arrested and served 6 months in jail. Joshua says that it all started with . He has gotten clean, and has made it his mission to help others with the addiction. Listen as he talks about his struggles to get back up and create purpose in his life.

Repeat of APSATS vice-president Jessica Eidens whose specialty is to assist partners in how to handle the complexities of Sex Addiction in the family.

Validation is so important to creating intimacy and connection. Often the validation piece is the hardest part for people to “get”. This process helps learners understand how and why it is so important and just how to do it. The step by step process walks them through it easily. Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing APSATS therapist, Stacey Sadler hascreated the Victory Through Validation program. It consists of a FREE 8-day e-course in the form of 8 daily emails taking one letter of the word VALIDATE each day and explaining it. Each day has questions in a pdf formate for the participant  to download and take the deep dive into the real work. She has also produced a 90 minute webinar that shows me working through the Victory Through Validation process with a sex addict/partner in recovery. Each runs through a situation that they would like their spouse to validate them in. She  breaks in with teaching moments throughout. She also offers a group  coaching zoom call for 4 couples at a time teaching them

Emotional abuse can have devestating affects on partners. They are so vulnerable and their self esteem is already fragile from betrayal and then they experience the emotional abuse and they question theirselves and their reality.  Raquel Custer is currently a Bloom for Women betrayal trauma coach at Addo Recovery. She is a certified life coach specializing in betrayal trauma, mindfulness practices, and family life. She is trained through APSATS, the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists and has her own private practice, The Healer's Art, LLC. Mindfulness, meditation and body work have all been integral parts of her healing and she incorporates them into her work as a coach. Raquel has spent the last three years learning MBSR, mindfulness based stress reduction and will give us a brief introduction to the benefits of mindfulness meditation and self compassion as tools for healing trauma from betrayal. She believes that it is self compassion that helps you heal from emotional abuse.

Riana Milne knows that 9 out of 10 women struggle in life and love. Partner betrayal results in such a trauma wounding that leaves you wondering if you will ever be able to trust him again. And if he continues to be self-absorbed and self-interested leabing empathy behind you may want to assess for narcissistic personality disorder. Today Riana discusses that disorder and helps you to know where you need to go next. She is going to help you learn the signs.

Male partners seem to face a special circumstance in their betrayal because there are less resources available and the fight an extra layer of shame because it effects their masculinity. Carol the Coach will be interviewing Gary Ownes who is a male spouse of a female sex addict. He has written a book to help other men who find themsellves in the battle of their lives. Gary shares his recovery story and his transformation back into his self esteem and masulinity.He wrote Betrayed Husbands Survival Guide and offers it as an e-book.