Betrayal Recovery Radio

In this episode, Dr. Jake reflects on some of the things he's learned over the years he's worked with sex addicts and betrayed partners. He discusses why these lessons are important for both professionals in the field but also those individuals seeking to recovery from the consequences of addiction and betrayal. Dr. Jake expands on these eight lessons: Betrayal is an issue of justice. Disclosures can be healing rather than traumatic. Co-occurring disorders must be assessed, diagnosed, and treated. Empathy is essential for individual and relational healing. No one can set a boundary for anyone else (ask for disclosure). Grief is where the healing happens. Lack of capacity is different from lack of will. Values provide a positive direction for change. Listen in to be empowered with knowledge that can change the course of your healing journey. Links mentioned in the show: APSATS.org drjakeporter.com daringventures.com "Are You On the Coaster" Video

Discovery of sexual betrayal erodes safety, trust and intimacy in relationships. This brings devastation to the partner and the relationship. So how do we start the process of healing after sexual betrayal? One major way to begin healing is through a formal disclosure process, facilitated by a professional. In this episode, we’ll explore what a formal disclosure is, as well as the benefits and risks of doing a disclosure. We’ll address best practices in the full disclosure process, including exploring different options for how these disclosures can take place. We’ll utilize resources we’ve created for facilitating safe and effective disclosures, and how couples can begin to heal after sexual betrayal. Links from show: drjakeporter.com www.disclosurehope.com www.intensivehope.com apsats.org

Our difficult life experiences and traumas, including those we have collectively experienced in the last few years, have created an opening for personal growth, healing, and an opportunity to connect within our community in a way that we were never offered in the past. Through her own experience of walking through personal devastation and loss while healing in nature, Sara shares the principles she’s developed and uses to guide men and women on healing retreats in the Grand Canyon and Alaska. Together we create upward positive change while deepening internal relationships, fostering forgiveness, implementing thought-leadership tools that create belonging, and empowering through authentic leadership that fosters change in the world.

When someone is suffering from Betrayal Trauma, they are typically frightened, angry, confused, sometimes frozen in a state of shock wanting to just feel safe. So safety and stabilization is the immediate mission with a betrayed partner. Throughout the healing process the partner will constantly be pointed back to the issue of safety because that is the root to being able to trust again. Regardless of how long she has been on her journey, she can have a plan, which will be formable as she moves through the recovery process, on day one. This plan can benefit both the healing of the betrayed partner individually, and the healing of the relationship — if the betraying partner is willing to join in.

Both the addict and the partner suffer from the loss of time, meaning, and clarity. Connecting together through pain, shame, and helplessness (vulnerability) enables them to recreate a shared story of suffering and recovering together. Learning to grieve one's own losses is critical for individual recovery; learning to grieve shared losses is critical to relational recovery. When the addict, in particular, learns to walk through the partner's experience there is an empathic exchange that recreates a new story in the safety of being seen, heard, and felt. Grief is clarified in that the past takes on new meaning. Both the addicted partner and the betrayed partner begin to view their history as a shared truth. As a result, they are empowered to experience growth toward an entirely new and different relationship — one that is healthy and life-giving. Links: http://apsats.org http://go.chooseconnectionsummit.com http://daringventures.com/windell

Grief is an inevitable part of the healing processes for those who have been impacted by the discovery of betrayal, as well as for those who have done the betraying. Grief and mourning, the second phase of APSATS Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model, is where those who have experienced loss begin to create a new meaning that leads to healing and the ability to move forward. In this episode, Dr. Jake discusses grief as it relates to betrayal trauma. Discovery insights from clinical theories of grief, the neurobiology of grief and trauma, and practical ways to move through the grief process. Links for the episode: APSATS.org DrJakePorter.com Show notes can be found here: http://shorturl.at/nBCGX

Recovery is meant to be a journey, not a destination. Healing is not an end unto itself, but a process needed to make another way of living possible, without the weight of trauma and addiction. In this conversation between Dr. Jake and Jessica Guillory, an APSATS-trained LPC, they discuss how people can begin to see signs that efforts for recovery might be getting in the way of post-traumatic growth.

The twin processes of recovery from sex addiction and healing from betrayal trauma can be complicated. The complexity of the wounds, both individually and relationally, can leave people feeling disoriented and lost. In the Q&A session, Dr. Jake Porter and APSATS Certified Partner Coach Andrea Rogers take on those questions from actually folks in the trenches of the recovery process. Links mentioned during the show: http://APSATS.org https://www.fullyalivecoachingllc.com http://drjakeporter.com http://chooseconnectionsummit.com

Couples who have suffered the consequences of sexual addiction and betrayal have quite the journey ahead. While traditional models of recovery focus on parallel processes of recovery for the addicted and betrayed partners, Carol the Coach's new model — ERCEM — helps couples begin healing together through the power of empathy. Links mentioned in the show: APSATS.org ChooseConnectionSummit.com https://sexhelpwithcarolthecoach.com/ DrJakePorter.com

The use of polygraphs in sexual addiction recovery has been a long-debated subject, but one with increasing use by many clinicians and coaches. Many disclosure processes now take advantage of polygraph technology as a tool to increase effectiveness. In this conversation with polygraph examiner Stephen Cabler, Dr. Jake draws out some basics about how to use polygraphs effectively in the recovery process.

A sadly common experience of betrayed partners is finding additional trauma rather than support when they go to leaders of their faith communities. Though they often mean well, religious leaders sometimes end up furthering the damage done to coming to them in crisis after the discovery. Betrayed partners need to understand the dynamics of spiritual trauma in order to process and heal from the harm they've received.  In this episode, Dr. Jake interviews APSATS Certified Clinical Partner Specialist Stacey Sadler, LPC, on her experience, both personally and professionally, facing spiritual trauma. Stacey also shares her thoughts on how those who have gone through such trials can become effective advocates for change within their faith communities. Links in this episode: APSATS.org DrJakePorter.com StaceySadler.com BeautifulOutlaws.com

With 175 episodes and more than 200,000 listens, Carol Juergensen Sheets started APSATS' Betrayal Recovery Radio podcast and built it into an established and trusted source of information, comfort, hope, and help to individuals and couples suffering from the effects of sex addiction and betrayal trauma. After three years of service, Carol the Coach is stepping down as the show's host, passing the reins to Dr. Jake Porter. In this episode, Dr. Jake will host a time of celebration honoring Carol the Coach for her dedication to the field of betrayal trauma recovery. Join us for this special time of fun, laughter, and remembrance.

No one should do “this” alone..  And with GFY Coaching, is going to describe their mission to ensure you don’t have to. Carol will be interviewing both Gail and Judy who have shifted their vision from establishing and growing our business to what some would call, a grandiose proposition, where we work to reach ALL partners who want and need help overcoming the pain and devastation caused by sexual betrayal. There are so many women out there who desperately need the help, but are unaware of it… and even if they are aware, they either can’t afford the help they need, or they don’t know how or where to find the resources that are available to help them. This leads us to the first element of our Practice’s focus…educating the community around us…stepping out of our APSATS community and into places that have never even heard the term sexual betrayal trauma.. educating, training and shedding light on this topic to anyone end everyone who is willing to listen. Churches, state organizations, community centers, welln

In today's podcast, Carol the Coach reminds partners that they can get to PTG!

Carol the Coach is talking with Mathew and Joanna Raabsmith who work together helping couples and individuals find healing and transformation when sexual betrayal occurs. Today, they will share their own story of healing and restoration from the damage of addiction and betrayal in their marriage. They seek to use their training and experience to empower other couples to find healing and wholeness in their own unique journey.

During phase two of APSATS trauma model, the SA, and often times the partner herself may ask “Why can’t I/she get over it” or “why are we stuck and not moving forward”? When working with couples it is essential that the SA learn As much information as he can about betrayal trauma. And part of that information is not only about the timing and the patience that the SA needs to have but also how he needs to have the tools to help his partner move towards forgiveness. The partner never will “get over it” but she can grow from it and use her experience to become an even better version of herself, and eventually the couple can heal as well. But it all starts with safety and stability. Today, Carol the Coach willl be talking to Tiffany Comisky who wants couples to recognize the trauma of partner betrayal.The goal here is to help the partner move into a place in the relationship where she is finally feeling safe enough to feel “connected” with the SA. Much too often the SA wants to move straight into the post trauma

Carol the Coach is interviewing Bonny Burns and her mission is to help couples re-engage in sexual intimacy after sexual addiction. It is easy for couples to feel defeated. Usually couples experience sexuality at different levels, Listen as Bonny gives some tips to restore the trust and communication that a couple needs to build safety.

Carol the Coach is announcing her new model that she is teaching clinicians and coaches to Help Them Heal. ERCEM teaches the addict how to help them heal.

One of the greatest casualties to sexual addiction is when a partner has to deal with triggers. Dorit Reichental  has developed a Trigger Busters technique that sex addicts can use with their partners to assist in managing the triggers. Listen as she and Carol the Coach dialogue about how a husband can be the support she needs to quiet the triggers!

Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dan and Angie Andrew who want the community to understand the difference between sobriety and true recovery. They believe that the coupleship with thrive when both people do their work and support each other's recovery. They will discuss the tools for recovery  that keep the lines of communication open and promote good self care.