Fire Bad, Tree Pretty

In this "back from the dead" episode of Fire, Bad Tree Pretty, your real trash hosts discuss episode 20 of season 3 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "The Prom." It's very and revoltingly hauuughtt.

We're back with another blast from the past! In this episode that was recorded in November 2019 - such simple times - your hosts discuss S03E18 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Earshot." It gets surprisingly dick-centric. Points of interest: secrets of healthy skin, oops! no mouth, patriarchy revenge movies, "smootched," SPORTS!, put it in your glove load, further exploration of the happiness clause, demons love to exaggerate, Horny Lydia returns, Cordelia’s delicious transparency, Google corner: tree smells, serial killer profiles, a tasteful coming-out announcement, Willow and her bucket hat, just the worst stunt double, irresistible jello, the evil men do, fuckin' Helen, and the well-known idiom "an apple a day fucks your mother."

HELLO, DO YOU REMEMBER US? In this episode that hopped in a time machine from November 2019, your terrible garbage hosts discuss S03E17 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Enemies." Points of interest: La Banquet d’Amelia fanfic, Angel's hobbies, foreshadowing leather of evil, a  big juicy wink, essence of leprechaun, the seductive power of a wet willy, Giles eats a banana, Wes and Cordelia’s first date at Arby’s, the uptuck, no haggling only stabbing, the mayor tries to pimp out his daughter figure, Cordelia’s hormones have entered the chat, the spiderweb shirt debate, pinky rings, weirdly prudish transcripts, the 24 hour hall of records, the shackle shack is recession-proof, the Buffy/Faith kiss on the lips we couldn’t handle, Xander’s punch karma, elections in Sunnydale, and platonic bondage.

In this extremely belated episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E16 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Doppelgangland." Points of interest: The Hoff, Why and how is Anya still going to high school?, Google corner: TATs, projectile pencils, yelling about the black arts in public spaces, The Sunnydale High School Breeding Program, Push It Gently, Willow’s style theme is "fuzzy,", Giles and his lollipop, Yampire Willow, even... OLD PEOPLE, a little part of Angel wants to be the Dingoes roadie, Willow’s undercover op/therapy session, hands in new places, Percival Douchebag the Third, just the grossest trivia, dressed to seduce a book, a wank of watchers, and our most burning question: where does Anya live??

In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E15 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Consequences." Points of interest: bloats & floats 101, adult baby play, let's discuss murder in public, Lydia explains horror movies, lying is not a Slayer power, the transcript (and Wes) gets creepy, the ol' fuck n' roll, I like my women like I like the end of Temple of Doom, Detective Sunnydale, some light b&e, that 50's dad vibe, stress-related yeast infections, the tears of Colonel Buffington, leave monkeys out of this, we are scarred anew by the Faith/Xander incident, Vampire Willow + Vampire Faith = we ship it, her ass was giving me those bedroom eyes, felled by macrame, OJ simpson slammers, and moon bathing. 

Hello, we're back from the dead with an episode that we recorded on the goddamn FOURTH OF JULY. Yes, we are trash podcasters. Join us anyway, as we discuss S03E14 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Bad Girls." Points of interest: Wesley Wyndham booty, fuck marry kill comic strips, Sunnydale is a one detective town, Allan’s backstory, let’s do a boney, weird biblical wine bottle corner, Faith’s tinder profile, Vince Vaughnofrio, gyrating with abandon, flapping it, farmer tom’s rickety airfield, the logistics of breaking a vampire’s neck, diet waffles, Ladle Boy, the gang's Hogwarts houses, and fat shaming.

In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E13, "The Zeppo." Points of interest: the sisterhood of the traveling apocalypse, bayonette babies, our delicate boy, Giles knows superman but I don’t, form of: Douglas, the down under candy, did I mention he’s large?, ass-shaped threats, Cordelia shops at Marm Stride, Geraldine Hillcroft blocked the ERA, Lydia has sex Tourettes, official pod-stance: anti-trim, hardened detective Xander, Buffy’s human-sized barbie dress, if the apocalypse comes lose my number, Giles vs Sassy Cloud, more questions about the curse, gimme a six pack of girls, Faith punches Xander’s v-card, various raves, Oz found a clue!, a vibrator shaped like hot wheels, calling bullshit on Cordelia knowing who Zeppo Marx is, dude, where’s my husband?, and pyJNCOS.

YOUR PRODIGAL HOSTS RETURN... with an episode that was recorded pre-hiatus, somewhere between 6 weeks and 10 years ago. No one really knows. Join us as we throw back to S03E12 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Helpless." Points of interest: it's Bad Dad Week, Hank’s quarterly projections, Buffy calls her dad handsome and we vomit to death, sexual tension with bread, we solve the curse, amethyst breath mints, working on my night moms, the duck is enough, Quentin Travers: the patriarchy incarnate, a sexy deathday coffin dance, crystals & betrayal, questions re: vampires taking pills, Buffy’s sad regular lady moment of street harassment, Kralik’s hipster art exhibit, I just wanna smush your heart into mine, and Eve 6 corner.

It's bad mom Week on FBTP! In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E11 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Gingerbread." Points of interest: Bang Bang No Bang, pocket cookies, rustling the bushes, #mrsandersonfromthebank, merry go round vs carousel, Willow's secret older brother who's in jail, the sexcyclopedia, Bunny Summers, don't catch a chill on your way to your own execution dear, Lil' Mooners, regular non-sexy magic, the logistics of keeping a rat who's really a human in your room for several years, by our powers combined we are Finger Quotes, the dangers of mom mentality, a variety of corners, the frisky watchers chatroom, and this really distressing fable about sexually assaulting a duck.

In this super-sized episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E10 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Amends." Points of interest: Sir Mutton of Chopsworth, DEM BANGS, Cordelia’s low blow, Willow’s precious moments eyes, Perfect Oz is Perfect, Joyce fakes her own death to avoid spending Christmas with Giles, Faith’s party is from Canada, you wouldn’t know it, Giles is a sexy domestic beast who also has a crossbow, we finally ask WHY HE BACK THO, Angelus’ rapey vamp attacks, a research montage!, the real questions about businessman Travis, library sex dreams, the bringers are freaks Lydia’s bird box challenge, the purest pre-bone stop or we’ll police!, exit stage window, Sunnydale is a structural nightmare, I KNOW DEREK, YOU’RE EVIL, the first blows up its own spot, crobbing, the logistics of the magic snow, how ents make babies, lip bangs, Sorry Bob Barker, you’re still alive, Team Dylan vs Bran-something, Vibrator Corner, the 1-800-Collect sweepstakes commercial, and listener feedback

In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E09 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "The Wish." Points of interest: Faith's love of slime demons, infuriating troll logic, red is the color of Cordelia's energy, LEAVE JONATHAN ALONE, Perfect Oz being Perfect, John Lee is a trash can, literally no one wants to see the show where Xander is the main character, the logistics of Anyanka's necklace, the wishverse contains such beautiful garbage, why is Vamp Xander wearing a diamond tennis necklace?, Sunnydale's low property values, that fear is striking name into nobody's hearts, where the fuck is Jesse?, Vampire Willow is a freak, the Shackle Shack is thriving in this universe, what Buffy would be like if she got run through a Faith filter, Puppy's weird pickup lines, we support the mission but not the method, the delicious but highly impractical human juice box machine, will it blend?, blood on the knee (operation!), marshmallow jizz, #notallvengeancedemons, Team Spillow, DaviBorZ, Dead

In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E08, "Lovers Walk," aka How Spikey Got His Groove Back. Points of interest: straight to the heart with Spike and Joyce, acting like a potato graduated from med school, Mothers Against Dirty Dancing, a 24k gold puppy, the gift of your V card, Willow's shoe rental fetish, Sunnydale has date rape too!, Angel's vampire senses are... not great, the logistics of vampire sun damage, Spike is a Victorian orphan, free the papier-mâché nips, mini golf groupies, ball in the cup, a loose cannon rocks the beef canoe, plenty of dicks in the sea, the eternal question of why no one ever does anything in a private residence, I'm a cat hair witch, Cordelia's worst day, Granny Mattson-style, FOR ME BIG DEAL, and a lost Buffy episode about an army of eyeless rats,

In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E07 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Revelations." We apologize in advance for making you remember Bubba Sparxx. Points of interest: hipster Cordelia, Buffy's secret boyfriend, motorvation, thebomb.beanie, Ms. New Booty break, an asshole for the ages, #yesalloldwhiteguys, P.S. fuck off, basic book bitches, Mrs. Bitchtown USA, sexy couples tai chi, cold turkey corner reveals an unknowable mystery, Mr. Liam Angelus NoLastName Angel, exist stage bush, the other other white glove, Professor Pierce Mynhegon, another shitty intervention, the Miss Calendar card, have you heard the good news about adultery?, the term "ex-meat," Shovel Shack: I Dig It, the unwilling swingers club, and a sexy workaround to the perfect happiness clause.

In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E06 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Band Candy." Points of interest: a plague of disappearing babies, how the mayor likes to sniff things, Buffy's thirst face, Scott who?, RIP my eye, Lydia treats us to a parody of a parody song, blatant ankle frottage, remember making out?, Ms. Barton: the real mvp, Extreme Teen Giles, Kotter Korner, shirtless formal, teenagering: do not do it, TGI-came of age before social media, dad style, sex jeans, Juicers, Wawa stories, getting to first base with your grandma, groin cloths, Lydia's cousin was on Wife Swap??, baby pageants, it's all fun and games until you blow your tushie off, double-babing, weird smell corner, candy math, tampons so large they won't fit into our backpacks, and ficverses.

In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E05, "Homecoming." Points of interest: Sextown USA, button your shirt Angel, banana shoes are a deal breaker, creepy van stories, why are you like this Jossua?, the logistics of getting mayo under your nails, bunker therapy, objecting to this senior picture farce, all of Buffy's friends suck, the return of the Gorch, parsing the bases, "I don't know if I can twerk in this dress!", panda bear ASMR, the rate of cupcake inflation, Giles' dad jokes, #blessedbywaffles, vegan pause, Queen C gets it done, the mayor knows the truth about children much agony, much choice, and Mr. Trick and Candy Gorch really elevate the fashion segment.

In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E04, "Beauty and the Beasts." Points of Interest: Angel is definitely a never nude, so there's a naked teen boy locked in the book cage, parsing the Monty, Faith and Buffy - we’re here for it, graveyard party ambiance, serial killer eyes, stay salty Giles, welcome to the 90’s, where teachers smoke in their offices, therapy corner, magic pants! part 2, his pork and beans were completely out, Shackle Shack redux, don’t deny the power of cotton eye Joe, implied dick, cake donuts can fuck right off, our new commercial for fruit roll-ups, Scott should find better friends with Zip Recruiter, the ash debate, Lydia is in an abusive relationship with her cat, “I don’t like bringing horses into my sex life," state of the pod: not into pee stuff, werewolf zoomies, the gay possum, Canadian corner, and a whole lot of single entendre about putting "notes" in your "music comp book." #shackleshook #qualityshackles #getabe

We survived Dead Man's Party, and now it's Faith o' clock! In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E03 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Faith, Hope, and Trick." Points of interest: Queer as Folk break, shaking off the hornies, Stepford Buffy, Mr. Trick and how amazing he is, we time travel back to nineteen-dickety-six for some penny candies and 99 cent gas, Commandant Tingles, Buffy is betrayed by her face holes, George Michael Dance Break, we discover Lydia's attraction to the archetype of Business Douche, LET GILES KAYAK, Buffy gets slightly Single White Slayer-ed, Scott Hope is ignorant of normal relationship timelines and also is a homewrecker, Buffy spills all the beans about Angel and we hope everyone feels like garbage monsters now, it's raining naked vampires, let it flow?, Faith's boob curtain, a vagina full of marnox root, GOOP: the uterus saver, and Lydia wonders if she's the Xander.

Hello, friends, and welcome to a very ALL CAPS episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, in which Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E02 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Dead Man's Party." Please join us as we scream into the void. Points of interest: Patches the Zombie Cat, Buffy and Giles’ cross-county motorcycle slayage/salvage tour, Secret Santa sex blender, dicks on dicks on dicks, we desperately need a tea party with Giles, Snyder's tingly feelings, field hockey knees?, never trust a Pat, wum wuming… like doing inhalants, "even dream Angel in hell knows her friends are terrible," Miss Porter’s Slaying Academy, the Oz and Patches spin-off series, "it’s striking and Nigerian... you bitch," old drummer corner, bad mom kitchen fiesta, Giles can hot-wire my car, go back to your corner NIGHTHAWK, bitch juice, and a strong contender for Sexiest Giles of season 3 right out of the gate. We're dizzy with anger.

Season 3 is upon us! In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E01 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Anne." Points of interest: our lives are terrible high school tv plotlines, debating The Rachel, Chad Todhunter, Summer in the Hamptons Barbie, Mushy and her meat love return, Lydia relives her family school-related nightmares, investigate my genitals, what can you do when a bitch is being a bitch?, Joss loves a Joan, sexy buttons, hope is a real thing (just like a penis), tea cozy corner, Barbie toilet paper covers, Oz TumWatch, several men left behind, lots of dead man’s party pre-rage, and the question that haunts us: WHAT ARE THEY MAKING?

Season two is donezo! So in this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia take a minute before diving into season three, talk a bit about the season as a whole, and then give out some fake awards to fictional character who do not care. (Please excuse the decline in audio quality in the latter half of this ep, Moloch got into our recording equipment and fucked some shit up.)