Thank You Heartbreak

Question of the day: If you had the chance to sit down with your ex, would you be more interested in hearing what's in his or her heart or voicing what's in your own? What do you think you would hear? What would you want to say?Quote of the day: "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." — Martin Luther King, Jr.

Question of the day: During your relationship, where might you have been passively engaging in life? Was there anything you were doing before your breakup that just didn't feel right or honest, that just didn't feel like enough? Think back and explore even the faintest of possibilities. Write down what those may be.Quote of the day: "People who live and act mindlessly run the risk of being trapped in unlived lives." — Jeff Cox

Question of the day: Imagine that something beautiful really is on its way to you. Imagine that your heartache is here to actually shake you awake from the life you had begun to slip into. What do you think the world is trying to wake you up to or, perhaps, is even saving you from?Quote of the day: "Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight." — C. Joybell C.—Work with Chelsea: www.breakupward.com/shopChelsea’s website: www.breakupward.comSign up for Chelsea’s newsletter: bit.ly/tyhbletterConnect and send in your questions and/or letters viawww.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakOr by email: Chelsea@breakupward.com

Licensed Professional Counselor and Author of Working My Way Back to Me April Kirkwood spent 30 years in a relationship with a celebrity for all the wrong reasons, and she lived to see the light and spread it.Joining Chelsea 5 minutes in, April talks about returning to yourself after forgetting who you are and how her interest in spirituality — and the mind, body, soul connection — kept her open to forgiving every heartbreak because, for starters, everyone is just as asleep at the wheel as we are.Gems to look out for:+ we're attracted to people who bring up the issues we need to find out about ourselves+ exes can be under our skin in a very special way + not shouting that we are perfect, but shouting that we are open to a change in perspective which is a miracle+ even death is a shift in perception+ sometimes death is the healing+ the two reasons we move on+ often a partner leaving does more to help us learn our lesson+ we have a choice: are these experiences going to make us better or bitter?+ the diffe

"What I really wanted to do was figure out how to be a woman and I went looking for that in a young girl," explains Meghan Flaherty author of Tango Lessons: A Memoir. "I thought, if only [my 16 year old self] had made different choices, she would have been a real rockstar. I couldn’t see the potential in myself at the time but I could see the last time I felt I had that much potential was in high school, in tango, and it was this romantic thing. And I was like, right, if I could just put on an outfit like that and move like that and be free like that, then, I’ll be okay. The irony is, the thing I had to finally confront was exactly who and where I was, not who I had been."Joining Chelsea 18 minutes in, Meghan reflects on her drive to overcome "all the issues" in hopes of jettisoning herself from her traumatic past and living as a normal woman in the world. Thankfully, Meghan amounted to much more than normal. Gems to listen for:+ understanding the intersection of sexuality and in

This is a first and a burst of an episode, just a soundbite of a conversation that happened tonight. If you're interested in all I get to learn and hear, I'll continue to ask my drivers if I can share what happens in between one destination and the next.Uber rides kept me in motion when I felt stuck and aimless. Each and every driver showed up like a spiritual guide, offering me a connection—an immediacy—that lingered for days, weeks, sometimes even until this year. These drivers and our rides saved my spirit. And they continue to. I laugh my ass off in Uber pools, I ride shotgun whenever I can and buddy up, and without fail, I am always provided wisdom. I've missed countless—truly, 100 conversations by now—but tonight, 10 minutes into our ride, I finally pressed record. I swear, it wasn't me that directed our conversation back to my career as a breakup coach. This is just proof that when someone—anyone, and especially a stranger—meets a breakup coach, they are both compelled and inspired

Episode details to come.

"It seems like he was kind of collateral damage in my growth and that’s very sad to me," licensed naturopathic doctor, holistic anxiety, and relationship coach Courtney Paré admits in one of TYHB's most revealing conversations yet. "Some days I handle it better than others and some days I’m angry and some days I’m like why isn’t he calling me and begging for me back and other days I’m like I hope he’s happy. And so it’s the whole range of emotions that you can imagine I go through."In conversation with Chelsea, 8:30 minutes in, Courtney explores one of the biggest revelations she had within her own marriage, which she then found mirrored throughout the lives of her patients and clients: communication doesn't save relationships, connecting does. In other words, people aren't looking to hear something so much as they are longing to feel something. She opens up about the naivety that led her into marriage — a sobering misconception about love and herself that she's now com

Witch, sound healer, and yoga instructor Kelsey Lawrence reflects on the choices that resulted in marrying and divorcing an energy vampire, a brutal relationship that often left her stranded, voiceless, and feeling like a single mom. Joining Chelsea 8 minutes in, Kelsey gets real about women taking their power back, where she was mentally and emotionally before eloping, the symbolic and transformative power of opening her throat chakra, two massive catalysts that empowered her to finally leave, embodying compassion toward yourself and, while uncomfortable, toward your ex, and how her ex-husband's sobriety has helped create a comfortable co-parenting dynamic. Plus, so much more.—To connect with Kelsey, visit her:Instagram: www.instagram.com/mindful_monarch—Work with Chelsea: www.breakupward.com/shopChelsea’s website: www.breakupward.comSign up for Chelsea’s newsletter: bit.ly/tyhbletterConnect and send in your questions and/or letters viawww.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakOr by email: Chelsea@breakupward

"Everyone goes through these experiences, so how can you use your experience of heartbreak to help the next person or propel yourself into the love you desire?" asks Jasmine Jones, author of a series of devotional books, including The Single Ladies' Commandments: Songs for Love, Healing, Freedom, and Purpose as well as The Gentlemen's Commandments: Songs for Love, Healing, Freedom, and Purpose.In conversation with Chelsea, Jasmine reveals her favorite commandment as well as the inspiration behind her two devotional books. She emphasizes the responsibility we each need to take for our own heartbreak and the guiding as well as redeeming quality of purpose. Finding one's purpose, after all, is how leaders steer their own life.Other takeaway gems to look out for:+ being in a position of singleness for reason+ dating IRL requires you to say yes+ the destabilizing nature of one partner acting as the teacher and encourager while the other partner is at a lost for how they can help+ each rela

Podcast host of Her Best F***ing Life, Sarah Ordo wears a ton of hats and sugarcoats nothing in the process. In addition to being a YouTuber, Makeup Artist, and Mindset Coach, she's also an author with five books to her name. Two of those being, the cult classic, Sober As F***: My Two Year Journey of Rediscovery & Self Love, and her highly anticipated quasi-follow up, Thirty As F***: 30 Things I Learned During My Quarter-Life Crisis. Sarah joins Chelsea 12 minutes in and comes clean about why she chose to let her audience in on her journey through sobriety, the men she became involved with two years into her recovery that challenged her sobriety and inevitably showed her just how strong she had become, why she didn’t go the traditional route of AA, the game changing power of therapy, her one Tinder requirement for meeting anyone IRL (psst: it worked! she’s in love and engaged), the type of person an entrepreneurial woman will likely need to date, the mentality that will make any breakup and setback i

“This is the biggest I’ve ever become,” is the humble admission of author and musician Billy Manas. And yet, the sobering reality that "this is me" is as exhilarating as it is baffling for Billy, an addict turned rockstar recover with a book deal to his name. Joining Chelsea 8 minutes in, Billy speaks with an intelligence that can’t be taught—it must be learned and earned—and the candor of a man who has nothing to hide because his life today is one to embrace, celebrate, and even teach. He gets real about when he felt most alone in life, the first dream he had for himself as a sober man (spoiler: meet a woman, have a family, and make $1k a week versus $300… and to do this without a college degree), the only thing that can keep someone clean if they’re living in a world of lack, how you find your calling, the visceral experience of angst, writing being the North Star toward appreciation and resolution, being deprived of sex from a loved one, and the almost effortless way he got through a breakup with

Stand up comedian and host of the podcast How Cum and We Really Love Island Remy Kassimir makes a compelling case for taking pleasure into your own hands, not only as a single person but as a couple. From never cuming to orgasming most of the time, Remy opens up about the assignments her guests gave her on How Cum and which task (or toy) landed her in the climax zone. She talks about the unfair expectations we place on our partner to pleasure us all the time, why not being able to cum has more to do with you than whether your partner is good in bed or not, the danger of fake orgasms, the importance of discovering what you enjoy and communicating that need, and why you don’t need a dick in the room to get off.—To connect with Remy, visit her:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/remykassimirHow Cum on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/how-cum/id1329297366?mt=2How Cum on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3hOISuGT6b9kL0NO9KkhpyHow Cum on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/howcumpodcastHow Cum on

50 episodes in, Chelsea reflects on the Thank You Heartbreak's greatest influencing factors—everything from an ex's feedback (when's the pity party gonna stop?), a listener's feedback (why's it all about you?), to the self-criticism that comes with hearing oneself played back (I sound like a fool). She opens up about not letting input derail her but also challenging herself to not deny the legitimacy of it either, why the podcast transitioned away from solo episodes to interviews, and the exes she reconnected with along the way, plus much more. More than anything, she wants to hug everyone and say thank you.

Seasoned expat, transition coach, and author of A Great Move: Surviving and Thriving in Your Expat Assignment Katia Vlachos helps expats and globally mobile professionals navigate various stages of their moves. She joins Chelsea at 8:30 to talk about the similarities between leaving one's home base and leaving one's partner which, in both cases, is often an invisible grief that requires you to reimagine and rebuild your concept of home.Shedding a light on the complexity of uprooting with your partner, Katia emphasizes the conversations that are crucial to have before any move and admits to not even thinking about what a transition could do to not only her marriage but her concept of self. For instance, not only are expats having to adjust to a new culture but often their identities, both professionally and within their marriage, are having to be renegotiated.In addition to the life of an expat, Katia talks about:+ how the dreaded question—"what did you do today?"—can drive a wedge between

Certified Relationship Coach, Certified Master Facilitator, Award-Winning Diversity Advocate and Owner of Maze of Love, Chris Armstrong joins Chelsea to talk about what’s really behind the plea for men to be a “real man.”The conversation doesn’t stop there. Cultivated over the course of his 10 year career as a relationship coach, his over 500 clients and his experience working on the Kavanaugh investigation, Chris has a talent for moving people who are angry, both within romantic relationships and work relationships, from screaming pitchforks to healthy discourse. In today’s episode, you’ll even hear him offer his two cents on how he would broach the subject with a partner who was no longer interested in having sex.He flips some of the most popular relationship advice on its head, exposing how toxic it really is. For instance, that relationships should be 50/50 and if you give too much, you’ll get hurt and if you give too little, they’ll leave. At the heart of it, is a compelling—if not, logical—case for why

Whether it’s how we find partners, commit to partners, or not only commit to one partner, navigating today’s ever changing landscape of relationships can be anything from overwhelming to exhilarating. Trends seem to constantly be emerging that free people to date on demand, marry later and even forego marriage altogether. However, what's not as readily explored are alternative ways to end unhappily ever after. Perhaps this is because divorce still bares with it a stigma which keeps couples defensive and resigned, on a bullet train headed for the worst. As a result, when it comes to divorcing, families rarely give themselves permission to creatively reimagine what co-parenting could look like and as a result never pursue the road less travelled. Freelance writer and Founder of FamilyNesting.org, an online community focusing on the well-being of the children during a divorce, Beth Behrendt is one of the rare birds who chose to do it her way. At 5:30, she joins Chelsea to talk about what giving children cus

We’ve all known, heard or been the woman to say, all I want is a nice guy. Or a loyal guy. But, what about a leader? Elliott Katz, author of Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants: Timeless Wisdom on Being a Man, says after speaking to women from all walks of life, what women really want is a man to be a leader. And, the kicker? It never even occurred to men. At minute 9, Elliott joins Chelsea to discuss why trying to do anything to make a woman happy doesn't just make her happy and, ultimately, how oblivious men and women are to one another’s needs. Not only do men not read minds or pick up on a female’s tendency to imply her true desires, but women believe that what they expect from a man is obvious, if not common sense. This episode tries to make sense of this conundrum. What do men need to do to gain a woman’s respect and therein attraction back and what can women do to make men feel valued and desired also?—Use CODE “thankyouex” for the month of December on all Chelsea’s coaching services: www.breakupw

The process of unlearning that happens on the yoga mat is what exposed holistic and abundance coach Chelsea Nielsen to the tools she needed to cope with the full spectrum of life, including deep childhood traumas and emotions she hadn’t explored in a long time. What led her into teaching yoga aboard super yachts was three-fold: her divorce, the yearning to stretch past her comfort zone—her community in Charleston, SC where she had experienced, up until that point, the best years of her life, and her desire to live her practice off the mat and sailing the sea, in an environment where she was “the help” and had to channel the power and practice of nonreacting. The conversation that unfolds within this episode is the courageous story of flipping the table, meeting her now boyfriend at sea, and returning with him to her childhood home, a place where her last memory was that of her belongings overflowing from a dumpster sitting in her family's front lawn. Chelsea goes deep about her father abandoning her fami

Author of You Are Enough: 5 Steps To Move From Struggle To Strength, Licensed Mental Health Therapist, Transformational Mindset Coach, Podcast Host of The Blonde Bombshell and Veteran, Megan Fenyoe, opens up about the time in between her clients, when she was on her office floor hysterically crying and in the grips of a narcissistic abusive marriage. She talks about the love bombing from her ex that urged her down the aisle in a beautiful Napa wedding within 12 months of meeting each other, the shift in control that happened almost instantaneously once they were married and, unbeknownst to her friends, continuing a relationship with her ex-husband after his affair and even after they were separated.This is a story of following the invisible nudging that insists you are meant for more. It's a journey of listening closely and not stopping until you get it right. For Megan, she thought the nudge was to leave Northern California for San Diego, to leave her job and breakout on her own and, the reality is, thi