Wife Of An Alcoholic: Recovery | Loving An Alcoholic | Codependency| Michelle Lisa Anderson

  When you love someone suffering from addiction or substance abuse disorder, it can feel like you're dealing with two different people. When they're sober, you see the person you fell in love with. They're kind, loving, funny, and caring. In these moments you see your true partner and the love of your life. When they start drinking or using drugs, it feels like they turn into someone else. Their addiction masks their personality and takes away the person you fell in love with in the first place.  We discuss how to navigate these 'two different people'. 

I want to share a special story with you today that I don't share very often. It's my personal story about why I left my marriage with someone that drank too much and suffered from addiction. Every woman's path will be different, but I hope you find comfort and encouragement in mine. 

Our community is full of women that love good people who drink too much or suffer from addiction. We truly believe that our loved ones are good people. On today's episode, it's a bit of an unusual story, but listen in to hear the core story about why we believe they're good people.  

When we love someone suffering from addiction, sometimes our most trusted confidants can give us the most well-meaning, bad advice.   Some of the wisest people have helpful guidance for “normal” marriages without addiction. But some of the advice I had received during my marriage as “codependent people-pleaser” would have sent me down a spiral that ended in a breakdown. Read the blog or listen to the podcast to learn the best way to decipher between good advice or wisdom you should ignore.  

If you love someone who drinks too much or suffers from addiction you’ll learn three reasons why we can’t just break away when we know we should entertain the idea of leaving because the reality of today outweighs the hope for our future. If you’re doing your part. If you’re showing up and have been committed to the work but it feels like all our efforts of helping them get sober bring inconsistent rewards.  If you’re trying to detach and trying to set boundaries, but it’s just not working…. Then listen to this week's podcast: https://loveoveraddiction.com/112/ or visit us for more FREE helpful tips at LoveOverAddiction.com.

The drama and stress from loving someone suffering from addiction are enough to make you feel like you’re going insane. There are days where you want to curl up into a ball forever. Addiction can make you feel like you’re suffocating and your feelings and thoughts don’t matter. The women in this community, your sisters... we understand exactly what you’re feeling. Listen to the podcast to find helpful tips and to know that you’re not alone: https://loveoveraddiction.com/111/. For more free tools head over to our blog at LoveOverAddiction.com We are here for you! Always.

We’re smart enough to understand the benefits of self-care, right, especially when we love someone who suffers from any kind of addiction. And if you’re new to the subject of self-care a great place to start is by listening to episode #96: https://loveoveraddiction.com/96/ or reading the 7 Most Important Questions You Need To Ask Yourself: https://loveoveraddiction.com/79. Sometimes the most caring thing we can do for ourselves is spend less and simplify our days. Self-care is a good thing. For sure. But let’s make sure what we’re doing is really feeding our souls and filling us up, not turning into something that’s just another thing to conquer or accomplish. If you want to learn how to avoid turning self-care into another chore this episode is for you. Click here to read the post or listen to the podcast at LoveOverAddiction.com/110.

Anger…. It’s an emotion women don’t like to discuss. But it’s a very REAL and HONEST feeling when addiction is a part of your family - and we always believe in speaking truth - even when it prickles a little. Loving someone who suffers from alcoholism or addiction is hard. Period. And you’re allowed to ride the roller coaster of emotions without apologies. If you feel angry sometimes - no shame sister. WELCOME TO THE CLUB!  Now head over to LoveOverAddiction.com and get 5 helpful tips to deal with your natural feelings of anger.   Would you prefer to listen to a podcast?  We’ve got that too. Click here to listen to the Love Over Addiction podcast.

Have you ever dreamed of the day your loved one finally gets sober?  I think most of us can raise our hand.  For many women in our community, this dream has come true, and today we get to talk to one of them.  She was just like us, worrying about her future and feeling guilty that she may have made the wrong decision by marrying a man with a drinking history.  She even talks about having thoughts of taking her own life because of the way addiction was making her feel.  Make no mistake about it - she is not afraid to speak the truth and I am so stinking proud of her.  She talks about how her husband got help and found sobriety, how she had to master the skill of boundaries and detachment AFTER he got sober and what to do when relapses happen.   Listen to this courageous woman and her refreshing honesty will inspire you. Would you rather read the transcript? We have you covered. Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/he-got-sober/

If you’re worried that your kids are suffering from the natural trauma that comes from loving someone suffering from addiction, my interview with Dr. Gowda (who has the most impressive resume and is a child psychologist) teaches us how we can help our children develop into healthy, well- adjusted and successful adults. When children are raised in a household with addiction, there are certain things we, as mothers, need to be aware of. We're their biggest advocate. We need to learn how to fight for them.  Even if you have older children who have left the house, it’s never too late to learn the skills that will help your family navigate through addiction. We owe it to our children to become educated about ways we can help them navigate through all their complex feelings of having a parent who drinks too much or suffers from drug addiction (substance use disorder). Listen to the podcast by clicking here. Or if you’d rather read the transcript - we have that too (just click here) or visit our website at LoveOverA

When our loved one who's suffering from addiction treats us poorly by drinking after they promised not to, or using drugs when they JUST said this time they were getting sober for good, it can make us want to lash out, get defensive, or become unglued. It’s true! No one wants to admit that women can get angry, but this disease makes us feel that way. Anger is part of the package—let’s just be real. So how do we respond in a way that best serves us? Today on LoveOverAddiction.com, I’m sharing my tips for communicating without saying a word. Read our blog here: https://www.loveoveraddiction.com/how-to-express-your-feelings-without-arguing If you want to learn more about the Love Over Addiction program, visit us at http://theloveoverway.com/programs/love-over-addiction/. 

Every woman walking this earth should know her boundaries and understand how to enforce them because boundaries make us strong, powerful, and respected. This is imperative when you love someone suffering from any kind of addiction: alcohol, illegal drugs, prescription pills, pornography, or sex, among other things.  But many of us get this very necessary skill wrong. Today on the Love Over Addiction Podcast, you’ll learn 3 tips for communicating boundaries. Check out these highlights from the episode: Should you state your boundaries as a monologue or be very brief? Is it helpful to practice your boundaries before relaying them to your partner? What should you do if you’re afraid of how your partner will react to your boundaries? Read our blog at https://loveoveraddiction.com/2018/08/3-tips-for-communicating-boundaries/ If you want to learn more about the Love Over Boundaries program, visit us at https://loveoveraddiction.com/love-over-boundaries/

On this week’s episode, Michelle shares two very personal stories about boundaries. And if you’ve been a part of our community for some time, you know boundaries are a necessary skill for every single woman on this planet, especially when you love someone suffering from any kind of addiction: alcohol, drugs (illegal or prescribed), gambling, pornography, or sex among other things.   Here’s a sneak peek into the episode: How can you appropriately enforce boundaries in any circumstance? What happens when you state your boundary in a dignified manner? How will sticking to your boundaries prevent unnecessary stress and anxiety? Read our blog at https://loveoveraddiction.com/2018/08/uncovering-truth-enforcing-boundaries/ If you want to learn more about the Love Over Addiction program, visit us at https://TheLoveOverWay.com/programs/love-over-addiction  

Would you say that you struggle with resentment while loving someone who drinks too much or suffers from addiction? In this episode, Michelle will teach you how to let go of the anger and resentment and tap into compassion. Here are a few key points from the episode: Are your expectations in line with reality? Are you trying to do their work instead of your own? Have you tried putting yourself in your loved one’s shoes? Read our blog at https://loveoveraddiction.com/2018/06/how-to-find-compassion/ If you want to learn more about the Love Over Addiction program, visit us at https://TheLoveOverWay.com/programs/love-over-addiction  

Michelle had the pleasure of interviewing financial expert and President & CEO of Francis Financial, Stacy Francis. She's a financial expert that specializes in working with women that love someone suffering from addiction. You can start making changes today in order to protect yourself, regardless of what stage of the relationship you're in.  Here’s a sneak peek at what you’ll hear in the interview: What does it mean to be financially independent? What is financial abuse? What steps do you need to take to feel confident, knowledgeable, and equally as in control of your finances as your partner? Read our blog at https://loveoveraddiction.com/2018/07/financial-advice/ If you want to learn more about the Love Over Addiction program, visit us at http://TheLoveOverWay.com/programs/love-over-addiction

When you love someone suffering from addiction, any kind of addiction like alcohol, illegal drugs, prescription pills, gambling, pornography, or sex, among others, it's important to know your options. You deserve to be educated and be able to protect yourself in any situation.  Today we interview matrimonial lawyer Kara Bellew to discuss what the divorce process looks like. Even if you’re choosing to stay and have no plans on leaving the one you love, we encourage you to listen to this episode and hear what Kara has to say. In this episode, you’ll learn: How to choose the right lawyer What to expect in your initial consultation with a divorce lawyer How to protect your children and what to expect your family dynamic to look like while going through separation or divorce Read our blog at https://loveoveraddiction.com/tips-from-a-divorce-lawyer-if-youre-leaving-or-staying-with-your-partner-who-suffers-from-addiction/ If you want to learn more about the Love Over Addiction program, visit us at http://TheLove

Knowing when to stay quiet or speak up when you love someone who drinks too much or suffers from addiction takes practice. Today Michelle is going to teach you when keeping quiet is your best choice. Here are some of the topics we cover in this episode: Does nagging work?  Should I wait until they're sober to speak to them?  How should I handle an abusive situation?  Read our blog at https://loveoveraddiction.com/stay-quiet-or-speak-up-how-to-make-the-right-choice-when-dealing-with-addiction/ If you want to learn more about the Love Over Boundaries program, visit us at https://loveoveraddiction.com/love-over-boundaries/   Hey there. For those of you that missed last week's episode, you might be wondering, "Wait a second, what happened to the Wife of an Alcoholic Podcast?" We changed our name. And there is a lot of reasoning and a lot of thought behind that change. I encourage you to listen to last week's episode if you missed it. Speaking of change, there is quite a bit of change going on, y'all. I have bee

Wife of an Alcoholic is now The Love Over Addiction Podcast. In today’s episode, Michelle explains the reasons behind the change and what it means for the future of the podcast. “If we start with love for ourselves and learn how to nurture our bodies, minds, and spirits, we will be able to offer that kind of love to others.” Read our blog at:https://loveoveraddiction.com/2018/07/changing-the-name-podcast/ Learn more about the Love Over Addiction program at: http://theloveoverway.com/programs/love-over-addiction   Hey, it's Michelle. Normally, I announce the name of this podcast and play some beautiful music that my brother, Tristan, scored for us. I don't know if you know this, but Tristan is actually my little brother who lives in LA with his wife and his bulldog named Lilly. And Tristan scores music for movies and for TV shows. So the music that you're listening to in the Love Over Addiction Program, he wrote all of that. You have a professional composer writing that music for you. He was just at Johnny Dep

For those of you who have been following my blog or listening to The Wife of an Alcoholic Podcast, you know that I used to do yoga on a pretty regular basis. I had just turned 40, I was feeling tired of my exercise routine, and I needed something that was a lot more gentle and a lot more reflective. I was also in a difficult spot physically. But I was really into yoga and loving it, and then Hurricane Irma came. We evacuated our house and couldn’t get back in for over a week, so my exercise routine dropped by the wayside. Then I found myself in a really weird place. I’m not a person who loves to exercise, so it’s not weird for me to feel like I don't want to work out. That’s pretty normal for me. But I just couldn’t find the motivation to do anything. I love to pray, and I didn’t want to pray. I love meditation, and I had no interest in that. I’m a huge advocate of self-care, but I just could not bring myself to do anything. And I found myself in a really numbed out place which made me panic because that’s no

I want to talk to you today about the importance of grace. Grace is my new favorite word. I think it's going to be my keyword for 2018. This community attracts women who are very ambitious. A lot of people in the world are not, and they like to sit in their pain, and they like to stay comfortable. The women in our community tend to be thirsty for somebody to explain to them exactly what to do. And that's what we do here. These women say, “Give me the top five steps, and I’m going to get it done. I’m going to ace it, and I’m going to do it to perfection.” That is a wonderful quality to have. It’s something we all share. We can go through a to-do list like nobody’s business. We can make things happen. We’re the glue that holds our family together. But let me tell you: it can also be our greatest liability. We are too hard on ourselves. We don't offer ourselves the forgiveness that we are offering others constantly, and we are holding ourselves up to a standard that is so darn high. We’re exhausted trying to ach