Wood And The Bone

Put that cookie down! NOW! Wood and the Bone are back with a holiday gift for you: their Jingle All the Way podcast featuring Brendan Griffin. Them Turbo Men give their opinions on Arnold's animal cruelty suit, Phil Hartman's turn as sexually aggressive Ned Flanders, and Sinbad's brief stint in terrorism. All this to make Jake Lloyd happy for Christmas? You're damn right. WE'RE NOT PERVERTS! WE'RE JUST TRYING TO PODCAST!

The Statler and Waldorf of podcastland have returned with a review of The Muppet Christmas Carol. It's the best performance Michael Caine has given opposite a Muppet since he starred with Tobey Maguire in The Cider House Rules! BAHAHAHA! Wood, the Bone, and Johnny Gusto talk breaking the fourth wall, porcelain-faced water ghosts, and, of course, inevitably casting the Muppets in Entourage. Follow! Subscribe! Humbug!

Well, everybody, Episode VII is only 23 days away, and Wood and the Clone are back with another review of a terrible Star Wars movie. Matt, Steve, and Jim Warkulwiz dive head first out of their Coruscant speeder into the murky depths of screenwriting incompetence. Was Slave Leia empowering to women? Does Dexter Jettster deserve his own spinoff? Should the entire movie have focused on Obi-Wan clubbing? Answers to all these questions, plus genuine heartache and confusion, on this holographic transmission of WOOD AND THE BONE.

A podcast 65 million years in the making, Wood and the Bone and their buddy, Brendan Griffin, explore the second film in the Pratt-issance, JURASSIC WORLD. The boys discuss Jeff Goldblum hundreds of times, a dinosaur spliced with Jerry Ferrara DNA, and the possibility of Jurassic World 2 being a courtroom drama. Hold onto your butts: these three dino-loving dudes review a mediocre film with a powerful morphine drip of nostalgia. Follow, Subscribe, Goldblum.

Crappy Hallowieners, Wood and the Bone nation. Tonight we take what you love about our normal podcast (scattered, tangent-filled thoughts on one movie) and multiply it by fifteen! Jon Daniels joins the boyz as they count down their top 5 horror movies! How does Mike Myers know how to drive? Does Steve have a working title for Gremlins 3? Did Kurt Russell successfully popularize the Arctic sombrero? The answers to these questions are discussed within. Do you dare to enter? Follow, Ghostbust, Subscribe.

All wood and no bone makes Jack a dull boy. Well, lucky for Jack, the gang's all here! Including Sean Yeakal on a space-age skypeomatic phone computer. Dem boyz combine their feeble minds to try and appreciate this Kubrickian masterwork, but naturally the discussion devolves into unimpressive Richard Dreyfuss impressions. Quizzes! Reboots! Furry Ghosts! We cover it all, so listen up, party down, and call the front desk because you're out of towels, GHOOOOST TOWELLLS. #spookymoviemonth

Spooky Movie Month continues with Donnie Darko! Wood and the Bone are back with their favorite warboy, John Guastivino, to tackle one of the most metaphysically confounding films of the new millennium. The boys stammer through seven minutes of the film’s plot before deciding to talk about the soundtrack and hippopotamus teeth. Was the jet engine from the future or a copy from a parallel universe? Did Donnie rewind time at the end of the film? Why did Frank lure Donnie onto the golf course at all if he was suppose to die? NONE OF THESE QUESTIONS ARE ANSWERED! So subscribe, listen, and remember that every living creature on this earth dies alone. lol.

I believe it was Ghostface Killah who once said, “Do you like scary movies?” Well, Wood and the Bone sure hope ya do, because October is SPOOKY MOVIE MONTH here at Steve’s Parents’ House studios. First on the chopping block is Child’s Play, the 1988 movie that made America ask, “Will our toys one day kill us, and are we all not playthings in this great cosmic sandbox we call life?” Steve and Matt confess childhood secrets, cast a hypothetical reboot and bum each other out talking about The Mist. BE A DOLL and subscribe to WOOD AND THE BONE, now available on Soundcloud and iTunes!

The Saga Continues … and so does our Podcast! Wood and the Bone and the Warkul return with a review of the prequel that made the world cry, THE PHANTOM MENACE. When did Liam Neeson realize he made a terrible mistake? Is George Lucas racist against rubber iguana people? Would Star Wars C-SPAN be amazing? Pop in an earbud because tonight we're going to party like it’s 1999. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to subscribing ... Now THIS is Podcasting!

Max’s world might be fire and blood, but your world is about to be WOOD AND BONE. That’s right, after a one-week hiatus, the war boys return with special guest, John Guastivino, to talk about the ultimate summer movie just in time for October. The boyz discuss George Miller’s bloodthirsty practical effects, Tom Hardy’s mumble-core performance, and that time Steve almost puked watching Avatar! So unbuckle your seatbelt, hook up your blood bag, and subscribe to us eternal through the gates of Valhalla.

CUT. IT. OUT. ... Boring podcasts out of your daily routine, that is! Wood and the Bone return this week with a heaping meatloaf muffin-sized helping of nineties nostalgia. That's right, my pretties, we discussed FULL HOUSE. We picked a few episodes from the show's final season, and let's just say Fonzie may have jumped the shark, but Michelle got the horse-accident amnesia! So download, subscribe, and, for gods' sakes, WATCH THE HAIR!

This week, Wood and the Bone deconstruct the Paul Verhoeven splat-acular, TOTAL RECALL. Together with special guest Jerry Shaeffer, the boys wonder if a rat could swallow a fun-size Three Musketeers bar and "recall" the epic one-liners that sowed the seeds of Mr. Freeze's cinematic devastation. FOLLOW, SUBSCRIBE, and avoid schizoid embolisms with a simple podcast implant.

WE BUILT THIS PODCAST. WE BUILT THIS PODCAST ON POINTLESS LISTS. Wood and the Bone are back, and this week they are counting down their top 5 favorite songs that they HATE! Wait a minute, how can you have a favorite song you hate? ... Because love is a spectrum, and if you freakin' Obama drones can’t handle that, then maybe you should be taking a Buzzfeed quiz about what Reptar on Ice character you would be! *labored panting, overflowing with rage* Please Subscribe on Soundcloud and iTunes!

Episode 05 of Wood and the Bone has arrived, and this week the boyz are talking about Josh Trank’s FANTASTIC SNORE. Jim Warkulwiz joins Matt and Steve to discuss Marvel’s biggest financial and critical flop in recent years. Has the expansion of expanded universes finally collapsed in on itself? Is Miles Teller on a one-way train to New Shia LaBeouffington? What made Steve forgive the mediocrity of Joel Edgerton? Listen and find out! THERE IS NO WOOD. THERE IS NO BONE. THERE IS ONLY DOOM.

Boy, this podcast is making me thirsty! This week, Matt and special guest Sam Kraynak go blow for blow in a twisted Seinfeld trivia labyrinth of Steve's making. Who will win? The die-hard fan or the overly confident casual viewer? The answer won't surprise you! So grab some Junior Mints, crank up your 'Pod, and stay out of the pool because #SHINKAGE.

Matt and Steve and Schumer make three! Dem Boyz are back with a review of the latest Judd Apatow-directed comedy, Trainwreck! Cardeezy and Stavonious talk cameo overload, the age-old debate of Hader vs. Edgerton, and how much credit this movie gets for simply not being Pixels. Steve and Matt also discuss Wet Hot American Summer, Ex Machina, and It Follows because critiquing a movie with two hours of genital jokes can only get you to 40 minutes! This ain’t the beginning of M. Night Shyamalan’s Unbreakable, but buckle up errybody, cause we getting TRAINWRECKED.

Happy Madison hovered above the masses and whispered, “Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair.” Steve-skel and Cardone-bert are back with a review of Adam Sandler’s latest drowsy expulsion, and they brought Jim Warkulwiz along! The boys talk the Sandman’s trajectory into apathy, the ethics of porking a Q-bert, and the only production company lame enough to make Tyrion Lannister suck. We hate-watched Pixels so you could hate-listen, this week on WOOD/BONE (directed by John Woo).

Game of Thrones may be over, but the summer movie season is raging harder than a gamma-radiated boner! Dem boyz have returned with a review of Marvel’s Ant-Man. Matt and Steve discuss whether Edgar Wright’s vision would have been better and if the movie took full advantage of having a shrinking protagonist. The boys also talk about food they would gigantify and Steve’s recent drunk purchase of Game of Thrones Risk! In the shadow of death comes new light. LONG LIVE WOOD & THE BONE!

Listen up, Crusters, the Tis the Season grinders are back with a brand new tasty nug, and this time we brought a friend along. Steve, Matt, and superfan Mike Butler, are back to thaw you out of your winter funk with a heaping helping of ENCINO MAN. The boys get to the bottom of every last question that has been haunting you since 1992. Is Pauly Shore autistic? Where did Brendan Fraser go so very very wrong? And, of course, Who is the hottest girl at Encino High?! All of this and so much more in our March episode of TIS THE SEASON! FOLLOW THE WEASEL LINKAGE!

Hey guys, are you afraid of the dark? Because Matt and Steve sure are! In a very rare television themed episode of this television podcast, the boys discuss Canada’s greatest export: ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK! Matt and Steve both pick five episodes to tell each other about in their very own version of that famous Midnight Society tradition. Vampires, lunar locusts, cigar-smoking clowns, and cold-ass ghosts, all are covered in this very spooky February installment of TIS THE SEASON.