Brown-eyed Jewnicorn

Hannah recounts her recent trip to Napa, her iconic experience at Danny Pellegrino's Everything Iconic live show, and weighs in on Caroline Calloway, Lala vs. Fofty, self care, why Autumn is the best and Summer is the worst, AND the Bachelor in Paradise finale! In short: This is a 45 minute rant. Enjoy!

Hannah is joined by TWO of her pals Lily Comeau and Ryan Bailey to recap this finale extravaganza! TONS to unpack here, so relax, enjoy, and get ready for a Dickie Roberts reference, lots of impressions, our takes on that whole Kaitlynn vs. Ashley situation, and so much more! Make sure to head to patreon.come/browneyedjewnicorn for Pretty Wild bonus episodes! Part 2 begins at: 56:30

Hannah talks about her recent battle with social/career anxiety and self confidence, gives her thoughts on Bachelor in Paradise (Nicole and Kermit Clay need to GO AWAY.), and recaps this week's episode of The Hills where Adrian relaunches her sexy swim line! Listen now and don't forget to rate, review, and head to patreon.com/browneyedjewnicorn for Pretty Wild recaps. Love you thank you.

No new episode of The Hills this week? NO PROBLEM! Hannah dives into the first episode of Whitney Port's 2008 spinoff The City to talk about her recent East Coast state of mind, her fondness for early 2000's fashion, and does a pretty impeccable impression of Whitney's ex/Australian hunk Jay! Listen now, and make sure to head to patreon.com/browneyedjewnicorn for bonus content! Ilysm!

Hannah recaps Speidi's bachelor and bachelorette parties on this week's episode of The Hills: New Beginnings! She also weighs in on the loss of our favorite RHONY Skinnygirl, Bethenny Frankel, as well as tells a dark fashion/wedding-related tale from her past. Rate, review, subscribe, and check out patreon.com/browneyedjewnicorn for TWO new episodes coming at you!

Hannah talks Southern Charm Finale, Bachelor in Paradise, her psychotic spiral in a recent fight with bae, AND that steamy new Calvin Klein ad. Then of course, she recaps the most recent episode of The Hills: New Beginnings! Listen, subscribe, review, rate five stars, and make sure to check out Patreon.com/browneyedjewnicorn for bonus content!

Hannah casually sh*ts herself and fangirls over Euphoria (WE DON'T DESERVE HUNTER SCHAFER), gives her takes on the Caelynn/Blake/Kristina/whoever the f*** else love hexagon on Bachelor In Paradise, and recaps the Thanksgiving spectacular that was this week's episode of The Hills: New Beginnings. Listen, rate, review, subscribe, and make sure to head to Patreon.com/browneyedjewnicorn for bonus content!

This week, Hannah is joined by hilarious comedian and host of the hit podcast "What's Your Jersey?" Jaclyn Marfuggi to recap episode 6 of The Hills: New Beginnings! A couple glasses of wine in, the gals giggle over Steph's recent run-in with arch nemesis Kelly Cutrone, Mischa's acting renaissance, why the cast of The Jersey Shore could teach the cast of The Hills a thing or two and much much more! Listen now, don't forget to rate, review and subscribe, AND check out Jaclyn's podcast "What's Your Jersey?"!

Hannah and her bestie/neighbor JD Barton discuss the INCREDIBLY LIFEGIVING finale of The Bachelorette! They celebrate their kween Hannah Brown #2, GO IN ON Jed and Luke P, give their ~steamy~ opinions and predictions for BIP, and SO MUCH MORE. Listen now!

Hannah recaps episode 5 of The Hills: New Beginnings! She talks about the Godfather-esque beaten dead horse that is the Justin/Adrian/Steph love triangle, reminisces on her own dark love triangle (er... hexagon?) from an old serving job (she was the Adrian!), AND introduces the new breakout star of The Hills: The Malibu fires. Listen now, don't forget to rate, review and subscribe, AND head to patreon.com/browneyedjewnicorn for bonus content!

Inspired by the new trailer, Hannah tells the harrowing tale of her high school's production of "Cats" and how she was GROSSLY underutilized! She then recaps this week's episode of The Hills: New Beginnings! She touches on why an open bar is always a good idea, why she can't take Brody Jenner seriously as a DJ (or at all), and why she empathizes with Adrian! Listen now, and don't forget to rate, review and subscribe!

In this episode of Brown-Eyed Jewnicorn, Hannah recaps episode 3 of The Hills: New Beginnings. She weighs in on the Steph/Justin/Adrian love triangle (justice for Adrian and her receipts), celebrates the ultimate couple goals of Heidi and Spencer Pratt, and shades all men who ask women on dates to Dave & Buster's. To further support Brown-Eyed Jewnicorn, make sure to check out the Patreon at patreon.com/browneyedjewnicorn !

This week on the pod, Hannah recaps the second episode of The Hills: New Beginnings! She talks about the supposed "love triangle" between Steph, JustinBobby and Audrina AKA Adrian, her crush on Ashley Wahler, and also goes in on why the 4th of July and Midsommar are the worst because why not?! Listen now, and don't forget to rate review and subscribe!

Hannah is solo this week and recapping the first episode of The Hills: New Beginnings! She stans Spencer and Heidi hard, gives you her best Mischa Barton impression, and (for no reason in particular) tells the epic tale of her very first spray tan in 8th grade! Listen now, and don't forget to rate, review and subscribe! PS Check out patreon.com/browneyedjewnicorn for access to exclusive bonus content.

Hannah Brown and hilarious iconic Instagram celeb/meme genius Joe Gunn become long distance besties over their favorite pop culture topics! The decide which Vanderpump Rules cast member would be best in a one-person show, their goopy opinions on kween Gwyneth, The Holiday ("home exchange..."), and much more! Listen now, rate, review and subscribe, and make sure to check Joe out on the new Patreon page to recap episode two of Pretty Wild at patreon.com/browneyedjewnicorn !

Hannah is solo this week and doing her gd best! She spills her thoughts on wedding footwear, children at Target, and pop culture events such as Taylor Swift's new video and that wild dinner from last week's episode of RHONY! Listen now, and don't forget to rate, review, subscribe, and head to patreon.com/browneyedjewnicorn for more bonus content!

Hannah is joined by her hilarious handsome pal Danny Pellegrino, host of the hit podcast "Everything Iconic with Danny Pellegrino" to catch up on pop culture and tell thrilling tales from their own lives. They touch on Brit's Miami bachelorette party, Danny tells the legendary tale of how he became friends with queen Bonnie Hunt, and Hannah comes for Olivia Culpo for a VERY specific reason! Listen now, and don't forget to rate, review and subscribe!

Hannah is solo this week and updates you on her continued journey with her intention candles, her experience on dating apps (aka "the swipies"), and gives you all her betchy thoughts on RHONY, RHOBH, Southern Charm, Summer House, and The Bachelorette! Enjoy, and don't forget to declare your allegiance to THE ONLY HANNAH BROWN THAT MATTERS by rating, reviewing and subscribing to the pod! xoxo

Hannah and her gorgeous hilarious bestie Annabelle Desisto (host of the hit podcast Adderall and Compliments!) discuss their violent aggression towards splitting entrees, talk all things Southern Charm, have an extensive conversation about hats, and SO MUCH MORE! LISTEN NOW!

Hannah and her love and neighbor JD Barton discuss the season premiere of The Bachelorette! They share their predictions for the season, opinions of the "men" on the show, and delve into their theory as to why Chicago men are the worst. Listen now!