Synopsis
Hannah is the fabulous, farbissina Jewish cousin you always wanted! Expect raspy-voiced rants, words of wisdom, and a peek into her world of acting, serving, and pop culture. With exciting guests including wine, friends, local artists, and ex lovers, nothing is off limits.
Episodes
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Champagne to the face.
17/01/2020 Duration: 41minHannah weighs in on this week's episode of The Bachelor/champagne-gate, gives her opinions on this week's VPR (bye, Max!), and recaps this week's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey!
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Peter F***s.
10/01/2020 Duration: 50minHannah touches on the new season of The Bachelor and her sexual attraction to Pilot Pete, offers feedback on the Vanderpump Rules season premiere/defines what it means to be "restaurant hot", and goes in on episode 9 of Real Housewives of New Jersey!
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"The Trend This Year is No Trends."
08/01/2020 Duration: 57minHannah is joined by fabulous friend, actor, and writer Matt Cullen to talk all things New Year's Eve and 2020! They reminisce on their favorite New Year's Eves to date, make a strong case for why being a Miranda is actually a total compliment, dig into how to pick the perfect day planner, and give advice on how to handle rejecting plans and fulfilling New Year's resolutions!
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Justice for Steven Dann.
06/01/2020 Duration: 44minHannah is out of her holiday doldrums and EXHILARATED to return to an EPIC episode of RHONJ! She makes several Showgirls references, discusses why gummy bears aren't an ideal ice cream topping, and addresses the Versace-clad elephant in the room.
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Grief, Grinchy Vibes, and Greatness Going into 2020!
25/12/2019 Duration: 31minHannah is BACK this week with a holiday-themed episode! She explores feeling bummed out and missing loved ones over the holidays, celebrates traditions both new and old, tells some amusing/dark tales of Christmas past, and encourages everyone to make some boundaries and take care of your gd self this holiday season!
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Midge Maisel Could Never.
13/12/2019 Duration: 01h02minHannah is joined by Ryan Bailey, friend of the pod and host of the hit podcast “So Bad It’s Good With Ryan Bailey”! They discuss being bombarded with ads for The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, revisit their college theatre monologues (woof.), and recap episode six of Real Housewives of New Jersey! Jennifer’s comedy gives Midge Maisel a run for her money, Frank Catania stars in a multi-cam sitcom that’s yet to be made, and the episode ends in a way that’s way too effing dark! Listen now, and don’t forget to tune into So Bad It’s Good With Ryan Bailey for more fantastic pop culture content!
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Horse Poop Water
06/12/2019 Duration: 41minHannah recaps episode 5 of Real Housewives of New Jersey and gives an exciting(?) Jason Mraz update!
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Dog Widda Bone.
04/12/2019 Duration: 42minHannah recaps last week's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey! She discusses her continued obsession with Jennifer's daughter Olivia, hopes Jackie never refuses sushi ever again, and wants to be besties with Margaret, her Spanx and her extensions ASAP. She also reflects on Thanksgiving, missing her 10-year high school reunion, not understanding TikTok, and gives her thoughts on Jason Mraz! Listen now, and don't forget to head on over to itunes and leave a review. Loveyouthankyou.
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Instant Friendship with Diana Espir
29/11/2019 Duration: 43minHannah is joined by a gorgeous and hilarious gal from across the pond, Diana Espir! She’s an instagram influencer, self-care guru, and host of the hit pop culture podcast “You Can’t Sit With ME”! They chat about Bravo, astrology, dating, Jojo Siwa and so much more! Listen now, rate, review, and make sure to check out You Can’t Sit With ME for the episode Hannah guested on and more amazing content!
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Melissa’s 40th, Jennifer’s “apology”, and a Ramona cameo!
22/11/2019 Duration: 39minHannah gives her thoughts on Bravocon, shows Margaret some major love, and continues to butcher Nonno’s accent. (No, really. Brace yourselves. She's really missing the simpler times of doing her Spencer Pratt impression on the reg.) ALSO: As mentioned on the podcast, check out @GOLDHALFMOONCO on instagram to get your very own legit and adorable Blocked By Jax sweatshirt! Support small businesses!
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A Celebration of Larry The Party Planner
15/11/2019 Duration: 39minHannah recaps episode two of RHONJ! She touches on her Chicago trip, improves her Nonno impression (only a little), and falls in love with Melissa's party planner Larry who gives us endless wisdom including but not limited to the phrase "Classy never trashy." Enjoy!
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RHONJ Season Premiere Recap
08/11/2019 Duration: 50minAll the way from Chicago, Hannah dives into the season premiere of Real Housewives of New Jersey! She tells the terrifying tale of her flight to the Windy City, celebrates how Jersey is a franchise full of eaters ("I need cheese."), and pitches her reality TV show where all the Bravo Children are plopped on an island a la Lord of the Flies. Listen, rate, review, subscribe, ENJOY!
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An LA Check-in with Eric Himel
07/11/2019 Duration: 51minIn a cleansed, post-closet purge state of mind, Hannah is joined by her fabulous pal celebrity stylist (and supremely witty member of the Fashion Police for Us Weekly!) Eric Himel to do a wellness check on Hannah’s time living in LA thus far. They chat about fashion dos and don’ts, getting to a zen state of bitchiness, and how to have an LA glow up no matter where you live or what your budget! Enjoy!
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"Hocus Pocus", Candles, and Adam Salandra
01/11/2019 Duration: 58minHannah is joined by hilarious entertainment journalist, cannibis connoisseur and pal Adam Salandra to discuss the iconic Halloween film "Hocus Pocus"! They discuss Hocus Pocus trivia, their Leo/Sarah Sanderson energy, and their childhood attraction to Thackery Binx as both a cat and as a human! Listen now, rate, review, and ENJOY!
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“The Sixth Sense”, Ghost Stories, and Kym Kral
25/10/2019 Duration: 52minHannah and gorgeous actress, writer and comedian Kym Kral chat about the bone chilling and iconic ghost flick “The Sixth Sense”! They spook themselves with tales of their own paranormal experiences, discuss which ghosts from the movie still haunt them to this day, and yes, they celebrate Mischa Barton in her young, puking, ghostly glory!
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"Scream" with Becky Habersberger
18/10/2019 Duration: 51minHannah and gal pal/influencer/horror movie fan Becky Habersberger celebrate the iconic 1996 slasher "Scream"! They go in on how Skeet Ulrich is hot but also poor man's Johnny Depp, where Drew Barrymore went horribly wrong at the start of this film, what their favorite scary movies are, and much more!
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Hannah Complains.
17/10/2019 Duration: 37minIn this bonus episode, Hannah takes the opportunity to rant about some things that have been bugging her like, really a lot lately. This is what happens when you're "too busy" to observe Yom Kippur. Apologies in advance to anyone who's had a wedding, cut a line, Colbie Caillat, and P!NK.
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A Fall Haul and "It Follows" with Leo Kidd!
11/10/2019 Duration: 55minHannah and her bestie musician Leo Kidd cozy up to discuss what they love about fall (basic.) and to discuss David Robert Mitchell's cinematic masterpiece "It Follows"! They chat about how to create the perfect Halloween ambience, what they love about the film, AND who they'd risk being followed by a murderous sexually transmitted monster for. Spooky! Listen now, and don't forget to rate and review Brown-Eyed Jewnicorn on itunes!
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When you walk into a dinner party, do you greet the host?
04/10/2019 Duration: 37minIn the first episode of the Brown-Eyed Jewnicorn October Spooktacular, Hannah recaps season 10 episode 1 of RHONY: Ghouls Just Wanna Have Fun! She goes in on her aspirations to move in with Dorinda in the Berkshires, tells a harrowing college tale about crying into scones, STRUGGLES with her Bethenny and Carole impressions, and tests out an autumnal pumpkin beer! Listen now, head to itunes to rate, review and subscribe!
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A Tale of 2 Bens
27/09/2019 Duration: 01h38sHannah is joined by Ben Mandelker, the handsome and hilarious host of "Watch What Crappens" and genius behind the Youtube series "The Real Housewares of Kitchen Island"! They chat about early 2000's pop culture, and Ben tells the amazing story of his personal experience with the cast of The OC! Expect witty banter, inside scoop, and a Shawn Hunter reference or two.