Random Assault

The fap-off continues! And what an upset it ends up being! Also, we talk about Dreamworks movies (including the pre-3D ones), and Alex vehemently defends Hoodwinked. Because... it's a good movie? I guess?

GIGA... DRILL... PODCAAAAAAAAAAST!! Yes, it's another Minor Assault, and this time it's one that Mitch said would be coming out for months. Join Mitch, Jayson, Jake, and Breen as they do the impossible and see the invisible, as well as gush about this wonderful little anime about robots, willpower, manly souls clashing, and never giving up. First half is (almost 100%) spoiler-free, 2nd half is a spoilerfest. You've been warned!

Get ready to get angry and punch out some gods with a new Minor Assault, this time about Asura's Wrath! Matt and guest star Jake Petersen go over this wonderful little gem of a title.

This week's episode is positively orgasmic! Ahp! Before you kill me for that one, I have a "Tell One Bad Joke And Not Be Murdered" card. Suck it. Anyway, this week we talk about vintage media players, Sonic getting fat, and we do the first half of what is either the best or worst thing we've ever done.

Calling all browncoats! Listen to Tony, Kate and Matt gush about Firefly, The Greatest Show Ever Made™©® in this newest Minor Assault special!

Luke, aka TotalMortalKombat, joins us for an episode where we talk about farts, poops, weird toilets and restaurants, cum shots (not the kind you're thinking of), and a lot of talk about how Americans are fatass slobs. It's a loud, rip-roarin' episode with just a touch of the outback!

Oh, wow! We got a full line-up for you guys! It's a podcast jam-packed full of funny. Mitch and Matt regail the the tale of The Unfinished Swan, Alex continues his rare game saga, Tony gushes about Guyver, and Mitch asks the all-important question that has plagued mankind for eons: why do people put salt on their watermelon?

Ooo, Alex wasn't invited to the Gurren Lagann Minor Assault. And Kate's just her usual bitchy self. So Alex made them pay... with their lives. ...And then Alex, Matt and Tony had a completely normal, relatively fatality-free podcast! Alex talks about his newfound love for Naughty Bear, the guys talk about the new Pokemon games, and then... more rare game talk! Ending song is "Wake Up" by DeepNorth!

Come, now! Pick your piece and let's get this game a-rollin'! Meanwhile Alex can tell you about watching more of Regular Show, and his disdain for Adventure Time! Tony'll talk about a rare, literally-one-of-a-kind rom that he almost got his hands on, we'll go over special editions of board games, and lastly, Alex watched a buttload of anime! Now hit play on your media player and collect $200, because this episode might be over before the end of an actual game of Monopoly.

Matt, Kate and Tony start off by talking about Django Unchained and other Tarantino flicks, then Mitch hops on just in time to discuss Assassin's Creed 3. Then the whole thing goes to shit as Mitch tries to defend Final Fantasy XIII and eventually it turns to stories of Matt's masturbatory habits, as usual.

The Walking Dead is all the rage right now, being a few seasons deep into its TV show and the Telltale videogame adaptation garnering a ton of praise for furthering the way we use storytelling in games. Matt and Jayson gush (pun intended) about the series in general! OBVIOUSLY, THIS IS GOING TO BE SPOILERIFFIC. BE WARNED.

I'm sure the first segment of this episode is great and all, but I wouldn't know because once again, my router decided to be a piece of shit just in time for recording time! Then, Alex finally gets to gush about Regular Show, and then we get a little un-Apologetic. Prepare for another great EP-I-SOOOODE! OOOOOOOOOOH!!

The Random Assault crew breaks that oh-so flimsy of fourth walls and does a very Christmas-heavy episode despite the fact that it wouldn't have been posted until January. Mitch raises the ghosts of a few cult classic Christmas specials, Kate finally plays Klonoa, Tony muses about Metroid, and Mitch reviews another fucking talking dog movie. It's just another Friday night at the ol' Random Assault roadhouse! (I'm very drunk right now, I don't know what I'm saying)

Ooph. Ooooooph. This one. Thiiiis one. Yeah, it's a good episode, to be sure. But things get a little weird in the middle. Like, really weird. Even for us. Alex nearly abandons ship. Don't say we didn't warn you. Segments 1 and 3 are pretty great, though!

What starts as a normal Christmas celebration for the hosts (and Coughman) turns into a mad-dash hunt to find Mitch for the hosts! (And Jake). A higher Christmas power has intervened, and it may be the end for the resident loudmouth of Random Assault. And to top it all off, an old evil has risen again to make sure that this is the worst Christmas ever! What lengths will the RA hosts go to get their most annoying member back? Will they dare go... religious?! Download and listen to this epic new special, made with love and lots and lots of blood and sweat and tears and semen.

What'd we talk about on this one? I wouldn't know because I wasn't there for most of it. But I heard tell there were tales of animal dildos, the Donkey Kongs that return to the country, and our boling hatred for Stan Lee. Then we get into Sega games, we smack a few gods, and we reminisce about the board games of old. It's two hours and twenty minutes of pure, unfiltered, mediocre talk radio. Download and enjoy!

Hey, remember when the WiiU details were announced back in the fall? So do we, because that's what we talk about on this episode! We also talk about Double Dragon Neon, Pokemon rip-offs, the whole Bayonetta 2 controversy... and not much else, since it's just Matt, Mitch and Tony, making it a very low-energy (but entertaining nonetheless) episode! I'm sure Kate will eventually fill out the rest of the details. Don't worry. She's probably on her way right now. Probably.

This week, Mitch and Matt bond over Adventure Time and Bravest Warriors, Alex takes up most of the episode with talk about a certain irreverent game show, the podcast crashes somehow, Kate moves furniture, Tony sits in silence, and Mitch lists off his game collection in a droning deadpan! What else have you come to expect from our show, anyway?!

So, what exactly is this? Well, just because Random Assault is taking a little break doesn't mean it's hosts are. We still meet up at the normal recording times to hash through any business and get caught up on what each other are doing. These have been going so well that we decided to take some of the more interesting normal conversations and edit them into a cast-long enterprise just for you so your heads wouldn't explode waiting for us.

Sometimes, collecting needless trinkets in video games just isn't enough. Kate and Tony are back with a brand new Minor Assault, dishing up all the dirt on how you too can waste hundreds, if not thousands of dollars on video game history.