Tilt Parenting: Atypical | 2e | Gifted | Adhd | Spd | Asperger's

Today I’m bringing back to the podcast a guest who has much goodness to offer our community, Casey O’Roarty, a positive discipline trainer, parent coach, author, and host of the Joyful Courage podcast. Casey is just about to publish her first book, a passion project called Joyful Courage: Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey. I had the opportunity to read an advance copy, and I absolutely loved how accessible, tangible, and real it is. As you’ll hear in our conversation, Casey has insights and strategies that are powerful for parents raising challenging kids, and she paints a realistic and doable picture of how we can truly calm the drama happening at home and in our families, as well as find more peace in the day to day.  Casey O’Roarty, M Ed, is a facilitator of personal growth and development. Her work encourages parents to discover the purpose of their journey, while also providing them with tools and a shift of mindset that allows them to deepen their relationships with themselv

In this episode, we’re talking about negative thinking and how to help kids who are more “glass half empty” thinkers shift their mindset. My guest is the woman who literally wrote the book on the subject, psychologist Dr. Tamar Chansky, author of Freeing Your Child from Negative Thinking. Tamar and I talked about what negative thinking is, whether it is possible to change, how to respond when our child is venting their unhappiness or negative thoughts to us, and Tamar’s four steps to combating negative thinking. There’s a good chance that we as the parents and caregivers and adults in the room have our own work to do when it comes to hyperfocusing or dwelling on negative thoughts, so we explore that as well. Honestly, I’ve listened to this episode 3 times already – once recording it, and two more times before releasing it because it’s packed with so many nuggets that I personally need to hear right now. I hope it lands for you the same way.  Dr. Tamar Chansky, is a psychologist and a writer on a mission to te

This week I bring back to the show Neil Brown, a licensed clinical social worker, the author of Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle: Resolve the Power Struggle and Build Trust, Responsibility, and Respect, and host of the Healthy Family Connections Podcast. When I last had Neil on the show, we talked about control battles with teens, and if you haven’t listened to that episode, I highly encourage you to go back and check it out here. In today’s episode, we’re tackling an equally important topic, and one I think will resonate deeply with our audience here: Parental Burnout. In our conversation, Neil will explain what exactly parental burnout is and how it negatively impacts parents and families, tell us how to identify it, and share his strategies for recovering from it. If you regularly feel frustrated and exhausted and are experiencing high levels of stress in relation to your parenting life, this is an episode you will definitely want to listen to.  Neil D. Brown, LCSW, is a psychotherapist who has worked

I found about Lori’s work recently and after reading her book Connections over Compliance: Rewiring our Perceptions of Discipline, I really wanted to bring her on as a guest because I believe the work she is doing is revolutionary.  Lori’s work centers around helping educators, parents, and any adults who work with children shift the way they think about discipline by reaching for sustainable behavioral changes through brain state awareness rather than compliance and obedience. She’s actively pushing back against reactive and punitive practices that can potentially reactivate the developing stress response systems of children, and is advocating for stronger co-regulation practices and regulated brain and body states for adults.  During this conversation, we consider why there is such a powerful foundational belief that discipline and punishment go together, what happens when the traditional methods of punishment are imposed on children who are coming to school with trauma or a heightened nervous system, and w

My guest this week is Blake Boles, the self-directed learning advocate behind Unschool Adventures and the author of several books on unschooling, including The Art of Self-Directed Learning, Better Than College, and College Without High School, as well as the host of the Off-Trail Learning podcast.  Now… you may be reading this and thinking, I’m not homeschooling my child or “unschooling” isn’t my thing. But I’m going to encourage you to listen to what Blake has to say. Because regardless of your child’s educational circumstances, there is wisdom to be gleaned from Blake’s philosophy on self-directed learning and helping our kids grow up into intrinsically motivated humans who understand themselves and are driven to seek out the information and resources they need to achieve their goals. I also love that Blake’s approach beautifully challenges those traditional timelines that our differently wired kids often don’t meet anyway. So… have a listen and let me know what you think. I’m curious to hear how this land

Since my guest for today’s episode, Dr. Abigail Gewirtz was on the show just over two years ago near the start of the COVID pandemic, the world has continued to go through increasingly complicated and challenging times.  Like I’m sure all of you out there listening, I’ve struggled to find ways to help my child feel hope and optimism about the state of the world — the war in Ukraine, a spate of school shootings, a very polarized political landscape, and catastrophic weather events.  So I wanted to ask Abigail, the author of the wonderful book When the World Feels Like a Scary Place: Essential Conversations for Anxious Parents and Worried Kids, if hope and optimism is possible to find even when things around us feel so unpredictable and chaotic, and if so, how can we cultivate this for our kids in an authentic way? In our conversation, Abigail shares her ideas for doing that, as well as ways we adults can manage our own fear and worries to be able to show up for our kids, and the importance of guiding kids towa

In this episode, I talk with Dr. Melissa Neff, a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Missoula, MT in the United States who specializes in conducting psychological evaluations with children (ages 6-18) and adults. A lot of Melissa’s practice focuses on helping parents figure out what’s going on with their children and diagnosing things like ADHD and autism, although she shared with me that one of her favorite aspects of her practice lately is working with girls who are on the spectrum. There are so many things I could have talked about with Melissa, but for today’s episode, we focused our conversation on the diagnostic process—what it involves and when and how parents can take the steps they need to pursue a diagnosis—as well as the pros and cons of getting a diagnoses, and more specifically, of having one or more labels attached to a child, both in their educational journey, as well as their lives as they grow into adults.   Melissa Neff, Ph.D received her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology in 200

Today is an important conversation about online communities and internet rabbit holes. And I felt pulled to tackle this topic for the show because I know that the past few years in particularly has been a time where differently wired kids have been a) spending a LOT more time online and connecting with people they may not have even meant in real life, and b) doing their identity development largely online as a result of COVID. And I also know that this can put our kids, and us as their parents and caregivers, in challenging positions as we navigate a seemingly endless stream of discourse that may lead our kids down the wrong paths. So I asked my friend and screen and tech expert Dr. Devorah Heitner to join me for a frank and open conversation about it all. We talked about the ways differently wired kids might be exposed to harmful content, and why our kids may be more susceptible to toxic or unhealthy virtual rabbit holes in the first place, the popular places where teens and kids are hanging out the most rig

Are you worried about your child’s video gaming habits? If so, here’s interesting conversation with Eric Lanigan about two topics that I know are relevant, and perhaps concerning, to many listeners out there — video gaming and motivation. I reached out to Eric after learning about an online course he runs for parents called Making Peace with Gaming, because I was curious to know just exactly how we do that, and what that actually means in the context of everyday life with kids who are really into gaming. What I love about this conversation is it went so much deeper than video gaming and into the heart of the emotional lives of our children. I found our conversation to be highly thought-provoking—I hope you get a lot out of it. Eric Lanigan is a Motivation Coach who has helped hundreds of people to get clear on what they want -and then do it. He guides his clients in directing their attention inwards instead of blaming themselves or external events. A former video game addict himself, Eric offers an intimate v

This episode explores the subject of vulnerability, male culture, and parenting specifically in the context of heteronormative relationships and how men can show up as better dads to their differently wired children. And I have the perfect guest to explore this topic with — Todd Adams, half of the duo of Zen Parenting Radio, and a leadership coach for men and the executive director of the international men’s organization, Men Living.  Todd and I looked at the societal norms and pressures on men that get in the way of their being vulnerable in their relationships, feel more connected at home, and hold emotional space for their families, especially in families with neurodivergent kids and where the demands on relationships (emotionally, mentally, and physically) may be more intense. We also talked about what women can do to support and encourage their male partners to do inner work and show up as dads in a way that will better support their relationships and their family as a whole.  Things you'll learn from th

If you have a differently wired child who is athletic and/or is into sports, this episode is for you. My guest is Susan Stout, the founder Own Beat Athlete, a new resource aimed at helping athletic coaches understand their athletes who march to a different beat. Susan knows from personal experience as an athlete herself, a former coach, and the parent of an athletic differently wired child, that many great athletes can be challenging to coach because of their wiring—they can be easily frustrated, disruptive, forgetful, inconsistent. But she also knows that they can be a teams’ greatest asset. Susan’s goal is to equip others with what she wishes she knew when she was a coach, and support and bring out the best in the many athletes who didn’t fit the mold, with a specific focus on athletes with ADHD, learning differences, and anxiety. This is a really interesting conversation and Susan’s resources are a great starting point for listeners who want to bridge that gap of knowledge between their child’s behavior an

If you are a regular listener of this show, you will be familiar with Polyvagal Theory, as it’s coming up in multiple interviews. But this episode is the first one dedicated solely to exploring this powerful theory. And to explore it with us, I’m thrilled to be talking with Deb Dana, a clinician, consultant, and author who is known for being a translator of Polyvagal Theory, which was developed by Dr. Stephen Porges in the mid-1990s. In this episode, Deb Dana gives us a primer of the key points of Polyvagal Theory, and in doing so, explains the ways in which it can support the way we parent our differently-wired kids. Deb explains the nervous system pathways, why co-regulation is essential to our survival, what befriending and listening to our autonomic nervous system looks like in practice, and the benefits of having a breathing practice. We also talk about why these concepts can change our relationships to our daily life even if our circumstances stay the same.  Deb Dana, LCSW is a clinician, consultant and

For this episode about ADHD and nutrition, I spoke with one of America’s leading experts in the field of childhood nutrition, Jill Castle. Jill is a registered dietician / nutritionist with over twenty-five years of experience working with babies, toddlers, children, and teens, in a variety of settings from private practice and consulting to author and writer. Her specialty is taking the current research in pediatric nutrition and shaping it into practical, sane advice for parents and healthcare providers. Jill writes the blog, “Just the Right Bite” and hosts a childhood nutrition podcast called The Nourished Child.  In today’s conversation, Jill shares her insights about what we know about the relationship between ADHD and nutrition, the impact of nutritional deficiencies in kids, and how to not get overwhelmed at the thought of making changes in your family and, more specifically, your child’s diet. She also shares some great tips for how to get started in making small changes that can have a big impact. Ji

I’m really excited to bring you this conversation with Dr. Norinne Russell on a new topic we haven’t covered before on this show and one that only came into my radar last year, and that is rejection sensitive dysphoria or RSD, a dysphoria commonly experienced by people with ADHD. We talked about what rejection sensitive dysphoria is and how it’s different from mood disorders or emotional dysregulation, what the early signs are and examples of triggers from Norrine’s own experience with her son, and how to support children with RSD. I’m sure this conversation will resonate with many of you and hope you find this new topic interesting and valuable to your family.    About Dr. Norrine Russell Dr. Norrine Russell is the founder of Russell Coaching for Students, which uses an innovative method of coaching for complex students, including those who are 2E; have ADHD, Autism, or Anxiety; and those with learning differences. This innovative method, Connected Coaching, has proven successful for hundreds of students sin

My guest for this episode is the brilliant Julie Lythcott-Haims., the author of the New York Times’ bestselling, and in my opinion, majorly game-changing-in-the-parenting-space book, How to Raise an Adult. She wrote it after noticing that prospective college students at Stanford University, where she was dean of admissions, were being over-parented and as a result, were lacking the resources to develop the resilience, resourcefulness, and inner determination necessary for success. In this episode, Julie and I talk about what it takes for a child to be successful—looking at how we define success along the way—and explore what we as parents can do to help our child develop the agency they need to become self-actualized adults. I loved having this conversation with Julie and am still noodling on the many takeaways and aha moments I experienced. I hope you get a lot out of it.  Julie Lythcott-Haims' How to Raise an Adult has been published in over two dozen countries and gave rise to a TED talk that became one of

Author and reporter, Anya Kamenetz is back on the podcast to talk about her new book The Stolen Year: How Covid Changed Children’s Lives, And Where We Go Now. The Stolen Year is a powerful look at how the pandemic disrupted children’s lives — their learning, mental health, and overall well-being. The Stolen Year isn’t written specifically for parents of differently wired children, but I thought it was important to really explore what the research and data shows the cost of the past two years has been for our most valuable resource – our children, as well as consider the question – where do we go from here? During our conversation we talked about the trends on decreasing graduation rates, the impact of food scarcity on children and adolescents, and caregiver depression. We also talked about the kinds of resources families need to recover from the pandemic, especially within marginalized communities and more severely impacted populations, and much more.  Anya Kamenetz has covered education for many years, inclu

This week I’m talking with Zach Morris, the executive director and development of curriculum and instruction at LEARN Inc. LEARN Inc. is an non-for-profit school in Missoula, Montana in the United States which is approaching education in a thoughtful and alternative way, and with powerful results, especially for their neurodivergent students, which make up to 75% of the student body. Their mission is to facilitate individualized learning opportunities that honor neurodivergence, encourage social collaboration, and foster whole-person growth. And as a result, the kids at LEARN are getting the opportunity to develop with confidence and feeling seen for who they are. I know that this education piece—figuring out how to help our child develop a love of learning and reach their full potential—is one of the most challenging pieces of raising differently wired kids, and I just have to say that talking with Zach left me feeling inspired, hopeful, and motivated. Zach believes there is a different way, and he’s doing h

For today’s episode, I’m bringing multi-award-winning director, producer and executive film producer, Marc Smolowitz, back on the podcast. It was four years ago that Marc first came on the show to talk about a movie he was working on called The G Word, a feature-length documentary about giftedness that asks the urgent equity question – In the 21st century, who gets to be Gifted in America and Why? Marc is currently working on the post-production of the movie so I wanted to invite him back to talk about what the last 4 years have been like in the giftedness community. What has changed? What are the things we need to be looking out for and what initiatives have been created? AND, I also wanted this show to be a part of celebrating the 2nd annual Gifted / Talented / Neurodiversity Awareness Week, a week-long celebration created by Marc and which is happening this very week. The theme for this year’s awareness week is Gifted JOY, and I really love the idea of connecting the concept of joy and empowerment to the c

In this episode of Tilt Parenting, I bring back to the show Simone Davies, a Montessori teacher and parent educator who runs a Montessori playgroup in Amsterdam for babies, toddlers, and preschoolers up to four years old. Through her online business, The Montessori Notebook, Simone focuses on helping parents learn how to bring Montessori into their home.  Today Simone and I are talking about the “spaces” in our home—specifically how we can best design and set them up to support our differently-wired kids. I’ve watched as Simone developed her virtual e-course, Setting Up Your Home Montessori Style, and I was struck by how the approach she talks about in her course directly relates to the things we as parents can do to support our kids in developing those crucial executive functioning skills, like task initiation, time management, planning, and organizing, as well as fostering independence. In this episode, we’ll talk about how we can set up our homes—our kitchen, bedroom, shoes and coat area, homework space—to

On today’s episode I’m talking to Eliza Fricker about PDA or pathological demand avoidance – and in fact I know many people interpret PDA as persistent desire for autonomy. I’ve done a few episodes on PDA before but never from a parent’s perspective so after reading Eliza’s book, The Family Experience of PDA, I knew I wanted to share her perspective with the Tilt community. During this episode, we talked about how demand avoidance is more extreme in a child with a PDA profile vs. the inflexibility and rigidity we might see in other neurodivergent kids, what Eliza has learned about herself parenting a child with PDA, and what her resistance was to the changes needed to her parenting style. Eliza also gave out some great tips for teachers who have a PDA student in their classroom and for parents who are struggling with family, friends, or people close to them who aren’t willing to understand what PDA is and what that means for their family.Eliza Fricker is the illustrator behind “Missing the Mark” a deeply pers