Tilt Parenting: Atypical | 2e | Gifted | Adhd | Spd | Asperger's

Today’s episode is a Kid’s POV Special episode featuring another conversation with 12-year-old Asher. Our topic? Conflict. More specifically, handling parent-child conflict between the two of us. We’re tackling this topic because I’ve been getting questions from listeners who want to know a) if we even have conflicts at all and b) if so, how we handle them. The easy answer to the first part of that question is DEFINITELY. We DEFINITELY have conflict. I’m very human in that way, as is Asher. Today, we’ll spend the episode answering the second part of that question. We’ll talk about the kinds of things that crop up and cause conflict between us, and then we’ll share with you what that actually looks like in our world—what I do, what Ash does, and most importantly, how we move through and past it. Pro tip: This is a good episode for co-listening! When Asher and I listen to podcasts, we dump a puzzle out on the dining room table and listen while building the puzzle. It makes for a nice combination! Debbie Reber i

My guest today is author, productivity guru, and mom of 5, Laura Vanderkam. Laura is the author of several time management and productivity books, including the one we are discussing today, Tranquility by Tuesday: 9 Ways to Calm the Chaos and Make Time for What Matters. She is also the host of the Before Breakfast podcast and the co-host, with Sarah Hart-Unger, of the Best of Both Worlds podcast.  I’ve long been a fan of Laura’s books, and so I was excited to talk with her about Tranquility By Tuesday, and honestly, since reading it, I’ve started incorporating a few of her strategies into my world as I try to be more mindful and aware of how I spend my time. The results have been pretty great. That’s why I wanted to share Laura’s work with my community because I know so many of you are dealing with overwhelm and burnout. And my hope is that you’ll take away one or two nuggets that you can play with in your daily life to move the needle closer to tranquility. During our conversation, Laura shared her definitio

This week’s episode features a conversation with Angela Pruess, a licensed clinical therapist and mom of three who wants to help all parents raise emotionally healthy kids that will change the world, by explaining the he(art) and science behind our child’s development and emotional regulation. For this episode, we focus on that elusive thing so many of us are trying to help develop in our kids, but can be very difficult to know exactly where to start and what we should expect over our child’s developmental timeline—self-regulation and emotional regulation. Today we dive deep into what it is, why it’s an important skill for our kids to develop, the different ways we as parents and caregivers and teachers can support our kids in nurturing these skills, and more.  Things you’ll learn from this episode What self-regulation / emotional regulation actually is and what it can look like when kids struggle with it Why self-regulation can be developed over time, even when the time line looks different How we might e

We are kicking off this season with a conversation with Dr. Stuart Shanker, who I first learned about through my friend Seth Perler as he’s been part of the TEFOS Summit. I love Stuart's message and recently devoured his book Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage With Life, and wanted to dive deeper with Stuart about it. In this episode, we get into the ways in which the brain controls the levels of stress, the difference between self-regulation and self-control, and the difference between stress behavior and misbehaving. Stuart also walks us through his 5 steps to Self-Reg, and talks about the power of us as parents and caregivers and educators doing our own self-reg work so we can support the kids around us. Dr. Stuart Shanker (D.Phil) is a Distinguished Research Professor Emeritus of Philosophy and Psychology, the Founder & Visionary of The MEHRIT Centre, Ltd., and Self-Reg Global Inc. One of his many books, Calm, Alert and Learning: Classroom Strategies

This is the third installment in a series of solocasts specifically about homeschooling 2e children. I know many families of 2e and differently wired kids end up going down the homeschooling road, whether they’re reluctant homeschoolers and they felt “forced” into the decision because they ran out of other options or whether they knew they would homeschool from the moment their child was born. Whatever the case, this episode is for you. In this episode, I share how Asher and I structure our school, what kind of classes he takes, how I figure out what he’s going to focus on, and what a typical school day looks like for us. I wanted to talk about these things because I know that designing a curriculum can be one of the most overwhelming pieces of this puzzle. A quick note: If you haven’t already done so, I encourage you to listen to the two other solocast episodes I’ve done on homeschooling 2e children. In Episode 42 I talk about how I made the decision to homeschool even though I had a LOT of resistance to the

To close out this Summer season I’m bringing you a special double episode all about college, specifically, how families can navigate the application process and what’s changed since Covid, as well as understanding the ways in which colleges may, or may not, support their neurodivergent students and what families should be looking for when exploring potential schools. In the first half of this episode, you’ll hear me talking with Eric Karlan, the co-founder of Ivy Experience, a company providing academic tutoring, standardized test preparation, and essay consulting services. Since 2010, Eric has consulted thousands of high school and graduate school students on their college and graduate school application essays and resumes across the country and around the world. He gave a TEDx Talk in 2018 called “What do I need to know about you?” inspired by his work brainstorming with students on their college application essays. Eric and I talked about what’s different in the college admissions process today as a result

In this special kid’s POV edition, Asher and I talk about having ADHD and goal setting, a topic near and dear to my heart, but also an issue we hear from parents about a lot. Asher is someone who always seems to have a lot of projects he’s working on and he sets often ambitious goals centered around those projects. Yet because of the way Ash is wired, he can often get distracted or derailed, which results in him being frustrated with himself. I know a thing or two about goal setting — it’s actually the topic of a book I wrote for teen girls in 2015 called Doable, and so I am committed to using what I know about goals to help Asher learn how to successfully set and reach his own goals while also developing his planning, organizational, and time management skills. If you have kids with lots of ideas for things they’d like to do but seem to get stuck before they finish, or maybe even struggle to begin in the first place, this would be a good episode to listen to with them. Debbie Reber is the founder and CEO of

Have you ever wondered if SEL (social and emotional learning) in school and classrooms really matters? I’ve been exploring this question a lot about over the past year, as well trying to understand the recent increase in parental and political pushback in the US specifically that is putting the future of SEL in schools at risk.   I wanted to get into a deep conversation about SEL for the show, and so I reached out Dr. Joseph Lee, a psychiatrist with a special interest in social and emotional learning and helping people achieve what he calls optimal mental healthiness. We had exactly the conversation I was hoping we would, as we got into so many important topics, including the state of children and young adult’s mental health today, demystifying what SEL or social emotional learning actually is, why SEL matters, how it’s best introduced in schools, the limitations in the current educational model for social emotional learning curriculums, what the pushback against SEL is really about, and what it’s at stake if

In this episode of the Tilt Parenting Podcast, I sit down with Dr. Jenna Flowers, a licensed marriage and family therapist, author, and speaker, and the woman behind the fantastic new book, The Conscious Parent’s Guide to Coparenting: A Mindful Approach to Creating a Collaborative, Positive Parenting Plan. Dr. Jenna’s book is aimed at helping parents who are no longer together design a healthy alliance and share their parenting responsibilities in a way that best supports their children. In our conversation, we talk about the extra considerations for those parenting differently-wired kids, kids for whom consistency and support is critical to their healthy emotional development. Dr. Jenna also explains how parents of atypical kids can foster a structured, supportive environment in both homes, as well as shares her advice for things parents can do right now to strengthen their relationship with their co-parent, whether together or apart.   Dr. Jenna Flowers is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Author, a

In this conversation with Outschool co-founder and CEO Amir Nathoo, we discuss alternative education models and why they’re so critical in preparing all kids for the future, as well as get an inside look into the mission and vision for Outschool, learn more about they successfully create community through virtual classes, ways in which classes are designed to support students with different learning styles and much more.  If this conversation sparks you to explore and enroll in classs at Outschool classes, be sure to use the code TILT to get a $20 credit towards your first class.  Amir Nathoo is CEO of Outschool, a marketplace for live online classes for K-12 learners. Amir worked at Square, leading the development of Square Payroll. Previously, he served as CEO and co-founder of Trigger.io, a development platform for creating native mobile apps. He holds an MEng in Electrical and Information Sciences from The University of Cambridge. Amir lives in San Francisco with his wife Kirsty and their two children. Th

My guest is Jessica Lahey, an educator, writer, and speaker, and the author of one of my favorite parenting books, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. Jess shares her insights about how we can best prepare our kids for an independent, successful adulthood in the way we practice autonomy supportive parenting versus overparenting, what it means to let our kids “fail” to help them thrive, how we can help our kids learn how to “sit with frustration,” and much more.   Jessica Lahey is an educator, writer, and speaker. She is an English and writing teacher, correspondent for the Atlantic, commentator for Vermont Public Radio, and writes the “Parent-Teacher Conference” column for the New York Times.  Jessica earned a B.A. in Comparative Literature from the University of Massachusetts and a J.D. with a concentration in juvenile and education law from the University of North Carolina School of Law. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband and two sons.   Things y

I haven’t done a solocast in a while, but when you talk, I listen, and this topic has been requested by many of you, so I decided to dedicate this episode to talk about navigating big life transitions with differently wired kids. Our family has gone through our fair share of big changes, which you’ll hear all about in this episode, so this is something that I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about. Especially as a parent of a differently wired kid, I know that there are some extra challenges that might come up when their routines, environment, life circumstances, or supports change, and our kids are also more likely to be resistant to changes (even if they are beneficial). So today I’ll be sharing the strategies I’ve personally found helpful while going through big transitions with Asher.  In this episode, I talk about key things such as why being honest when communicating with your kid is so important to help them understand and process change, how being vulnerable can be a way to show support, how to validat

In this episode of the TiLT Parenting Podcast, I talk with Samantha Ettus, a renowned work-life balance expert, author, radio show host, and media personality. Sam is passionate about helping people, and especially moms, find create a more fulfilled, healthier, and more satisfying life. She writes about her ideas in her new book The Pie Life: A Guilt Free Recipe for Success and Satisfaction. I was excited to talk with Sam about her new book and ideas behind what she refers to as “embracing the mess and bumps” that come hand-in-hand with living a truly fulfilled life, since messiness and bumps seem to a part of any parent raising a differently-wired kid’s experience. In our conversation, we talk about everything from self-care and intentional parenting to getting our partners up to speed since often moms seem to be the ones holding onto a lot of the information relevant to our kids’ day-to-day life. Samantha Ettus is a work-life expert whose goal is to find the spark within each one of us and turn it into a fi

I wanted to have a frank and honest conversation with my friend, executive function coach, and frequent guest of the pod, Seth Perler, about what is and  is not working in schools right now, especially as we are once again in that back-to-school season. Of course there have been many changes in education since the start of COVID, including the inclusion of technology in almost every aspect of learning and the increased testing that students are being subjected to since returning to campus. And we know that neurodivergent kids tend to be impacted by these changes more than other students. So what can we do as parents? Where should we be putting our energies? That’s what Seth and I get into in this episode. Seth Perler is an Executive Function Coach and Consultant with extensive experience addressing extraordinarily diverse learning needs. Seth was a teacher for 12 years, working with a diverse range of Gifted and Twice Exceptional (2E) students in charter schools for 8 years, and teaching students with ADD, AD

My guest is Kayce Stevens Hughlett, a psychotherapist, life coach, spiritual director, and speaker, and the author of three books. Kayce and I have been friends for many years, and she was a compassionate listener and empathetic friend as I was going through some of my most challenging years with Asher. At the time, Kayce was a few years ahead in her journey with her own differently wired son, who was in his early twenties. I wanted to bring Kayce onto the show to talk about what she and her family went through when her son, as a young teen with an ADHD diagnosis, got involved with drugs. I know that this is a possibility many parents with atypical kids fear, and in fact some listeners may be in this very situation today. Hearing Kayce tell her story and share how she not only got through it, but how her family emerged on the other side more engaged and connected, is incredibly powerful. I hope you find her story as inspiring as I do.  Kayce Stevens Hughlett started her writing career as a blogger in the earl

The neuropsych assessment process can be daunting and complicated to navigate, especially in recent years as a result of COVID,  so I’m excited to share my conversation with pediatric and adolescent young adult neuropsychologist, Dr. Jonine Nazar-Biesman. Jonine’s work is about taking into consideration the whole child and the big picture when assessments are being done.  In this episode, we talk about what parents should think about when vetting psychologists to assess their child, the difference between a neuropsych, a psychoeducational, and a psychological assessment, and how parents can navigate getting a better assessment if they believe their child got the wrong diagnosis. We also talked about what to do with all the feedback parents get from an evaluation and how that feedback can best be relayed to our kids, and to their schools. Dr. Jonine Nazar-Biesman has over 25 years of experience specializing in assessing and treating children, adolescents, and young adults with neurodevelopmental disorders such

My guest this week is Steve Silberman, an award-winning science writer who authored the 2015 book NeuroTribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity, a brilliant book that upends conventional thinking about autism and suggests a broader model for acceptance, understanding, and full participation in society for people who think differently. In our conversation, Steve and I talk about neurodivergence, autism, acceptance, tolerance, changing cultures, systemic change, and so much more.   Steve Silberman is an award-winning science writer whose articles have appeared in Wired, the New York Times, the New Yorker, the Financial Times, the Boston Globe, the MIT Technology Review, and more.and the author of NeuroTribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity (Avery 2015), which Oliver Sacks called a “sweeping and penetrating history…presented with a rare sympathy and sensitivity.” In April 2016, Silberman gave the keynote speech at the United Nations for World Autism Awareness Day. He h

Parenting a differently wired child can be challenging and as I sat down with my guest, clinical social worker Pat Harvey, to have this conversation, I wanted to acknowledge and validate the experiences we have as parents as much as we do the same for our kids. As you’ll hear from Pat, her work centers around helping parents navigate raising kids who have highly intense emotions …the kind of emotions that can cause big disruptions at home.  In this conversation, Pat talks about her book Parenting a Teen Who has Intense Emotions, how she supports families using Dialectical Behavior Therapy or DBT, the three priorities within the DBT framework, some of the critical things to understand to effectively parent emotionally intense kids, and where to start if you are looking for more support for yourself.  Pat Harvey, LCSW-C, ACSW, has been a clinical social worker for one 30 years, currently focusing on supporting and guiding parents of kids with emotional challenges using a DBT framework. The co-author of 2 books

My guest Scott Barry Kaufman PhD, a psychologist, author, and podcaster who is passionate about changing, or perhaps expanding, the way intelligence is defined and measured. In our conversation, we talk about his ideas about intelligence, potential, and what it actually takes for our children to develop into self-actualized adults.   Scott is a cognitive scientist and humanistic psychologist exploring the mind, creativity, and the depths of human potential. He is a professor at Columbia University and founder and director of the Center for the Science of Human Potential. Dr. Kaufman received a B.S. in psychology and human computer interaction from Carnegie Mellon, an M. Phil in experimental psychology from the University of Cambridge under a Gates Cambridge Scholarship, and a Ph.D. in cognitive psychology from Yale University. He is also an Honorary Principal Fellow at the University of Melbourne’s Centre for Wellbeing Science. Dr. Kaufman hosts the The Psychology Podcast, and his writing has appeared in The

In this conversation with Jennifer Natalya Fink, we explore the nuances of her fascinating new book, All Our Families: Disability Lineage and the Future of Kinship. The premise of Jennifer’s book is that disability is often described as a tragedy, a crisis, or an aberration, even though more than 1 in 5 people worldwide have a disability. She wanted to explore the question: Why is this common human experience rendered exceptional?  Instead, Jennifer is advocating for a reclamation of disability as a history, a culture, and an identity. She is pushing for a world where families see disability in the context of a collective sense of belonging, as cause for celebration, and is a call for a radical reimagining of carework and kinship.  We went deep into this idea of a disability lineage, and Jennifer shared what’s at stake if we don’t know and claim our family history. We also discussed why getting a disability diagnosis can be traumatic for families and how it’s accentuated by how our society thinks about disabi