Tilt Parenting: Atypical | 2e | Gifted | Adhd | Spd | Asperger's

Today I’m delighted to be bringing to the show a conversation about supporting LGBTQIA+ kids, and I have the perfect guest to explore this topic with, John Sovec, a therapist, author, and nationally recognized expert on creating affirmative support for LGBTQIA+ teens and their families during the coming out process. I wanted to talk with John because these conversations are becoming increasingly prevalent within our neurodivergent communities.  During our conversation, John explained what “coming out” means and why it’s such a significant and ongoing event for any LGBTQIA+ person. He also shared his thoughts on the high correlation between neurodivergence and gender nonconformity, how parents can best respond when their child comes out to them, why affirmation is more important than acceptance, and why it’s so important that parents honor their own process as they navigate understanding their child’s identity.  About John Sovec John Sovec, MA, LMFT is a nationally recognized expert on creating affirmative su

If you are the parent of more than one child, neurotypical or atypical, this is an episode you are definitely going to want to listen to. I get requests for topics from listeners all the time (which, by the way, is great…please keep them coming!), and one of the most common requests is for an episode specifically on sibling relationships. So I found the perfect guest to talk about the sibling dynamic—parent educator Julie King.  Julie co-authored the book How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen, a Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 alongside Joanna Faber, and leads dynamic lecture/presentations for schools and other parent organizations. Among the workshops she offers is one based on Siblings Without Rivalry, and she brings to her work the perspective of having raised two differently-wired and one neurotypical kids herself. I’m really excited to share this conversation with you, and I hope to do more episodes on this topic. Julie King has been educating and supporting parents since 1995. In additi

Dr. Donna Henderson and Dr. Sarah Wayland's new book Is This Autism is a game-changing labor of love in which they clarify the many ways that autism can present, particularly in people who camouflage to hide their autistic traits. Their book walks readers through the diagnostic criteria in a way that presents a much deeper understanding of how those criteria can, and should, be interpreted.  We cover a lot of ground in this extra-long episode, including why so many people, including women and girls and people in marginalized groups, are being misdiagnosed or simply “missed,” as well as why it’s critical that we look beyond the stereotypes of autism and gain a rich, nuanced understanding of the autistic experience.  Dr. Donna Henderson has been a clinical psychologist for over 30 years. She is passionate about identifying and supporting autistic individuals, particularly those who camouflage. Dr. Sarah Wayland is the founder of Guiding Exceptional Parents, and co-founder of The Behavior Revolution.  Things yo

I’m very excited to be talking with psychologist, parent coach, and prolific author Dawn Huebner. One of the coolest things about making this podcast is getting to continually connect with people whose work I’ve not only been following for years, but people whose work and books have literally impacted my family in a meaningful way. On top of that, I get to ask them everything I want to know. Hopefully I cover the same things that you would ask if you were sitting in my chair, too.  Today is one of those conversations, as we’ve owned and have been using Dawn’s books like What to Do When Your Temper Flares and What To Do When You Grumble Too Much for many years. Today Dawn and I are talking about her new book on anxiety called Outsmarting Worry: And Older Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Anxiety. Dawn has a gift for creating practical, doable, interactive “toolkits” to help feel empowered to take control of their emotional experience and make changes that can make the way they’re moving through life feel so much bette

Today’s episode features an eye-opening conversation with Julie Bogart on how to help kids who have resistance around writing, which, I have a hunch, is something many of you out there listening are familiar with. Julie, the mastermind behind the Brave Writer program, the Brave Writer podcast, and really thoughtful content on all things kids, writing, learning with confidence, and critical thinking, is the perfect person to explore this topic with.  What I thought might be an interview that focused on the nuts and bolts of writing ended up being a very moving and inspiring lesson about self-expression and trust. Julie and I talked about how separating the mechanical and self-expression parts of writing can help kids experience less resistance to writing, how to break through barriers students may have when it comes to expressing themselves, and what Julie identifies as performance anxiety at the heart of a child’s struggles to getting starting putting words down on the page. Julie also gave some fantastic adv

To close out this season, I’m bringing you an interview with Amy Laurent and Jacquelyn Fede from Austim Level UP! I’m going to go out on a limb and say most of you have probably heard of Autism Level Up or heard Amy and Jacquelyn’s names before. Autism Level Up! Is a resource that I have personally spent hours pouring through because it’s so fantastic , accessible and informative. In this conversation I wanted to talk to Amy and Jacqueline about why they created Autism Level UP!, how the conversation surrounding autism and support for autistic people has changed over the past decade, and how we can all “level up” our own understanding of and experience with autism and neurodivergence. About my guests Jac is a super fun, super goofy and SUPER DUPER nerdy Autistic Advocate and the co-founder of Autism Level UP! Jac enjoys supporting Autistic Individuals and their partners as well as program evaluation, data and statistics, and app and web development. Jac is a physical activity junky and continues to meet its i

This is going to be a different kind of an episode, because it’s the seven-year anniversary of Tilt Parenting (!) and it felt like a good time to do some reflection on where we – you, me, this community – are now. And I wanted to reflect because I think it’s important to pause, take a breath, and notice this moment.  So, in this episode, I’ll share reflections on what has changed in the “Tilt revolution” and the neurodiversity movement in the years since Tilt Parenting first launched, including the language used in this space. I also get a little personal and give you some updates from my world, our family’s journey, and what’s next.  Lastly, I always want to offer something practical and tangible that you can take with you into your daily life, so I’ll tell you about the five biggest lessons I’ve been learning over the past few years and explain how they’ve impacted our family dynamic, and my own life as the parent of a differently wired kid. Things you'll learn from this episode: How the conversation, and

The world has changed so very much in the past few years, including in no small way how our kids relate to other kids. I get a pang of nostalgia when I think about how I used to form friendships when I was younger in a more analog world, but I can also feel excitement about the many possibilities that have opened up for kids like ours to find their communities thanks to the technology they’re growing up with. In this episode, Sam Young is going to talk with us about what a meaningful and healthy social life might look like for our differently wired kids, and how we can support them in the process. We explored how online communities have impacted socializing for neurodivergent kids, how parents can support kids in developing the skills to help with social anxiety, key elements to look for in ideal social environments for our differently-wired kiddos, and much more. Sam Young MEd is a growth-minded, two-time Fulbright Scholar and Director of Young Scholars Academy, a strength-based, talent-focused virtual enric

I really enjoyed exploring unschooling, deschooling, freedom, and liberation with Akilah Richards, host of the Fare the Free Child podcast and author of the book Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work. I reached out to Akilah after seeing her TED talk, which led me to her book, and then her podcast, and I knew I wanted to invite her to join me in conversation. A recurring theme in this podcast, and in Tilt, is doing our own inner work as parents, and I love how Akilah talks about relating our own reparenting to freedom, decolonization, and liberation. Akilah shares her personal story of going from traditional schooling to unschooling to deschooling, and how she and her husband came to consider the idea of raising free people, what that means, and how they’ve navigated the realities of making unconventional choices that can sometimes make other people uncomfortable. She also shares how they think about the success and what a fulfilled life looks like for her family, as well as how her

For the past few years, I’ve been hearing about this concept called “declarative language,” and although I had an idea of what it was, after reading my guest Linda Murphy’s Declarative Language Handbook, I couldn’t wait to bring her on the show because it offers another transformational tool for our parenting differently wired kids’ toolbox.  Linda describes declarative language as a positive, thoughtful communication style that emphasizes understanding, patience, respect, and kindness, and as you’ll hear from our conversation, it is an ideal communication style for really all children, but especially neurodivergent children and kids whose nervous systems are triggered by demands or more imperative communication styles. We discussed the different ways we can communicate with our children, the language we use, and the effects that simple shifts in the way we have conversations can have in our daily interactions with them. We also explored what is declarative language versus imperative language, as well as the

Over the past few years I’ve seen the word trauma become more and more prevalent in conversations surrounding children, especially differently wired children. So I invited trauma and education expert Sandi Lerman onto the show so we could  talk about exactly what’s going on with our kids — have they or are they experiencing trauma at school? What is developmental trauma? What does trauma look like our children? And how can we respond to and support a child who has experienced trauma?  In the episode you’re about to listen to, Sandi explains why two kids might internalize an experience differently, how kids’ bodies hold on to trauma, and the relationship between PDA and trauma. Sandi also walks us through the key tenets of her trust-based, connected parenting method in her heart strong system. About Sandi Lerman Sandi Lerman, MA Ed. is the Founder and Program Director of Heart-Strong International, a global education company that provides training and coaching programs for parents and teachers of children with

My guest today is Sarah Moore, the author of the new book Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science & Better Behavior. Sarah explains what peaceful discipline is and walk us through its relationships with the traditional disciplinary tools many parents rely on when navigating tricky behavior, like time outs and consequences. Sarah also explained the power of using story teaching to help kids create positive coherent narratives for difficult situations, no matter how old they are, as a way to create the opportunity for learning and growth as opposed to experiences being internalized in harmful ways. Sarah R. Moore is the author of “Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science & Better Behavior,” and founder of Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting. She is a Master Trainer in conscious parenting and has training in child development, trauma recovery, and interpersonal neurobiology.  Things you'll learn from this episode: How Sarah defines peaceful discipline What the H.U.G. process is and how we c

Middle school might not feel like a very enchanting time in our lives — it definitely didn’t feel that way for me when I was living through it. But according to my guest Chris Balme, middle school is a time of great magic and opportunity for our kids, and for us as parents, if we know what we’re looking for.  In our conversation, Chris explains the three stages of identity development a child goes through in middle school, how we as parents will want to adapt our parenting styles change as our kids reach these stages, and how to navigate our child breaking our trust. We also talked about what individuation is and what it means to become a better companion for our kids, which is a reframe I really love. Chris Balme is an education leader and writer, passionate about helping young people discover more of their human potential. As Co-Founder and Head of School at Millennium School, a lab school in San Francisco, Chris helped pioneer new learning methods for middle schoolers, based in developmental science. Chris

In this special kid’s POV edition, I share a short conversation with my 11-year-old child Asher about the new morning routine we began doing in January 2016. The routine is based on author and speaker Hal Elrod’s book The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8AM). Because I’m always looking for ways to support Asher in developing more self-awareness, we agreed to start off the New Year trying out a new routine.  In this episode, Asher walks listeners through what the new 6-step morning routine—consisting of meditation, affirmations, visualization, exercise, reading, and journaling—looks like, and explains its impact, as well as why Asher thinks other kids would benefit.  Debbie Reber is the founder of Tilt and the host of the Tilt Parenting Podcast. 11-year-old Asher is Debbie’s child and is regularly featured on the podcast.    Things you'll learn from the episode:  How implementing a purposeful morning routine such as the one highlighted in Hal Elrod’s book T

I know that there are concerns among many families that their child’s self-esteem can be negatively impacted by a label, or that others, including teachers may treat a child differently if they know they have one or more diagnoses, especially because of the stigma associated with neurodifferences. So this is what Dr. Karen Wilson and I get into — demystifying the process and offering suggestions for approaching these important conversations.  In our conversation, Karen breaks down the kind of language we can use when talking with kids about their diagnosis, as well as how that conversation will likely continue to evolve as our kids get older. We also talked about how to navigate this process with a child or teen who is resistant to labels, why it’s critical that we have all of these conversations from a foundation of prioritizing and recognizing strengths.  and how to have this conversation in a household with neurotypical siblings. Dr. Karen Wilson is a Clinical Neuropsychologist, Director of West LA Neurops

In this episode, we are diving in to the realities of parenting gifted and 2e kids. Gail and I talked about the common challenges parents raising gifted and 2e kids experience as part of their journey, why it can sometimes feel uncomfortable to celebrate our child’s accomplishments with others and how that impacts our kids and us, and how to handle our own expectations and pressures we may experience because of our child’s unique learning profile. We also explore what many families of gifted kids experience as a complicated relation with the word “potential,” as well as how we as parents can manage our own uncomfortable emotions that may arise in parenting our kids, including anxiety, envy, and guilt. Gail Post, Ph.D. is a Clinical Psychologist, parenting coach and consultant, workshop leader, and writer. She is also a Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine In practice for over 35 years, she provides psychotherapy with a focus on the needs of the intell

For this episode, I sit down with Kate Berger, a child and adolescent psychologist, Mindfulness instructor, and owner of the Netherlands-based therapy practice, Expat Kids’ Club, for a conversation about the benefits of mindfulness in kids and ideas for how to begin weaving mindfulness into our families’ lives. Kate is heavily engaged in the movement to bring mindfulness into schools and other children’s communities, and is a big believer in the benefits of mindfulness in kids, especially with regards to emotional and mental well-being, both in school and in their inner lives. Kate Berger, MSc is a child and adolescent psychologist, consultant, and the founder of The Expat Kids Club which has provided counsel to hundreds of youngsters and, their families, as well as major corporations, from the U.K., Germany, Singapore, and the U.S. Kate is also the Co-Chair & Co-Founder of the Families In Global Transition affiliate in The Netherlands, and is a dedicated mindfulness meditation practitioner and certified inst

If you are a parent of a neurodivergent kid with a diagnosed learning disability, you likely have had experience with Individualized Education Plans, otherwise known as IEPs. And if this is you, my hunch is you have some feelings about IEPs and the whole process — the stresses, the unknowns, the fact that it might feel like you have to understand a completely different language just to get the services and supports your child needs and deserves in schools. I invited occupational therapist Beth Liesenfeld of The IEP Lab to answer your questions around how parents can better prepare for an IEP meeting, what actually makes a good IEP, and how we can go about making changes on an IEP if we realize the accommodations aren’t being effective or if a school isn’t following through in a way the IEP outlines. Beth is an incredibly knowledgeable expert on the subject of IEPs, and as you’ll hear, she’s truly passionate about providing “insider” information of the school’s process and culture to parents in order to increa

Parent coach Margaret Webb believes that while many of us as parents are busy trying to meet our child’s unique needs, we’re often neglecting our own. In our conversation, she shares her ideas for how parents can shift this dynamic in a way that results in a more peaceful, more rewarding experience all around. The bonus? Our kids reap the biggest benefits. Margaret Webb is a certified Master Life Coach, parenting coach, nature-based coach, former teacher, wife and mother. As a life and parenting coach, she weaves together her experience as an elementary education teacher with the tools she’s learned in Martha Beck’s Life Coach Training, Sagefire Institute’s Nature-Based Coach Training, and what she’s applied to her own life as a mom of a child with special needs. Things you’ll learn from this episode How to feel empowered as a parent so you can be proactively peacefully instead of reactive What the process of letting go of the expectations we have of ourselves and who our children “should” be looks like Ho

I’m honored to kick off the season with a powerful conversation about autistic burnout with autism and neurodiversity support specialist, Kristy Forbes. Kristy and I talk about what exactly autistic burnout is and how it presents, why “deep rest” is critical for someone experiencing autistic burnout, and how autistic burnout is differentiated from mood disorders or depression. We also talk frankly about the challenges of seeing burnout in autistic children through a neuronormative lens, and how that may lead to therapies and strategies that may be the opposite of what a child in autistic burnout actually needs. Kristy Forbes is an Australian-based autism & neurodiversity support specialist with experience working with clients both nationally and internationally. This includes neurodivergent people and their families; and professionals who wish to support them, such as educators, psychologists, pediatricians, allied health professionals, support workers and integration aides. Kristy is formally identified auti