The Terri Cole Show

Are you stressed out of your mind from anticipating all of the needs of all of the people, all of the time? Do you go out of your way to indulge a particularly difficult family member so that they don’t explode and ruin the family gathering? If you find that you are always anticipating the needs of others, I might be able to help. In this episode, I’m breaking down what I call codependent anticipation and giving you some steps that you can take to stick to your side of the street a little bit more and stress a little bit less. Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/363 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I’m sharing a girlfriend jam with Jennifer Pastiloff. She shares her takeaways about her experiences with the traumatic loss of a parent and her deafness and shared her deafness: How it led her write her book, On Being Human, how to quiet your inner asshole voice with kindness, and how to reach outside your bubble to truly be of service to other humans and feel connected to the world. Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/361 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How hard is it for you to apologize when you hurt someone? Do you find yourself starting the apology with “I’m sorry you feel…” “I’m sorry you think…” or “sorry, but I was tired?” Do people feel understood when you apologize, or does it make things worse? In today’s episode, I am going to outline some bad apology habits and then share some tips for how you can avoid them in your life to give satisfying, authentic apologies when you accidentally hurt the people you love. Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/360 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I’m interviewing Lindsey Ellison, a breakup breakthrough coach, author of two books, and podcaster. She gives us some advice about all things narcissist and how to break up without being broken. Plus, she shares her personal experience with discovering her own higher power helped her stop treating a codependent relationship as one. Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/359 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you have to say no to someone, do you feel compelled to give them a long explanation of why you are saying no, or do you find yourself defending your right to say no?  How often do you find yourself building a case to convince the people in your life that you’re doing the right thing? When you make a choice do you want everyone to approve of your decision? If you're nodding your head, then this episode is for you. There is an important difference between convincing and providing context when it comes to communicating our boundaries and preferences.  In this episode, I'm breaking it all down for you, because the bottom line is:  You don’t have to convince anyone of anything.  Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/358 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I’m sharing a chat with my friend Elizabeth Earnshaw, licensed marriage and family therapist and director of A Better Life Therapy, LLC. She shares her thoughts about how the COVID-19 pandemic has impacted different types of relationships, gives tips for starting difficult conversations with your partner, and explains the importance of rituals in building reliability in your relationship. Plus, I ask her about the inspiration behind her brand new book I Want This to Work: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating the Most Difficult Relationship Issues We Face in the Modern Age. Find the show notes for today’s episode at terricole.com/357 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If something is really important to you, can you go to the mat for it? Do you know how to negotiate and stand up for what you want? Or do you avoid the conflict and potentially end up living with regrets? Knowing when and how to fight fair for what you want is part of being a boundary boss and essential to living your most satisfying, self-determined life!  That’s why in today's episode, I'm walking you through how to pick your battles wisely, how to stand your ground, and how to negotiate like a pro.  Find the show notes for today’s episode at terricole.com/356 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I’m sharing a chat with my friend Dr. Alexandra Solomon, who is a clinical psychologist at northwestern university and expert in relational self-awareness. We talk about love, self-reflection, monogamy, and how the field of relationship psychology has changed in the last 25 years, as well as sharing our own experiences with self-awareness in our intimate relationships. I hope you enjoy listening to this interview with Alexandra as much as I enjoyed interviewing her! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/355 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you're upset with someone about something, do you: Say nothing, but silently keep score? Talk to other people about it? Ice the person out? Send them a passive-aggressive or sarcastic text?  If any of those rang a bell, you are not alone which is why in this week’s episode, I’m breaking down the top 10 indicators that you might be suppressing and/or unconsciously repressing your anger.  Raising your awareness around when you might be acting out feelings of frustration or anger is the first step to expressing yourself in a healthier way. I promise you, learning these skills will improve all of your relationships, including the one you have with yourself.  Find the shownotes for today's episode at terricole.com/354 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I'm bringing back an old episode by popular demand, a girlfriend jam with Danielle LaPorte! Danielle is the creator of The Desire Map series, “A heart centered approach to finding your true power”. She’s also the author of White Hot Truth: Clarity for keeping it real on your spiritual path, and The Fire Starter Sessions: A guide to creating success on your own terms, which also spun off into a coaching curriculum. Named one of the “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes, over 5 million people a month visit DanielleLaPorte.com for her regular #Truthbombs and poetry. Danielle's website has been called “the best place online for kickass spirituality.” Marianne Williamson refers to Danielle “as a bright light in the modern priestesshood.”On today's show, we talk about finding real love, getting honest about secondary gain, letting go of the past, and much more.Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/231 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you think epic love is random?  Is it just a twist of fate for people in the right place at the right time?  Is real love only for the lucky?  The short answer to all of these q’s is...nope.  In this episode, I am teaching you how you can build a rock-solid foundation and infrastructure for a lasting, vibrant, EPIC love relationship. Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/352 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Would you like to be more self-assured? You aren’t alone: So many of us want to live our lives with more confidence and less fear. Today’s guest, my long-time friend Anna Goldstein, has some tips. Anna is a certified life and business coach who tells it like it is, and she is going to share steps you can take today to dial into the part of you that is already more confident. Plus, she shares her own lifelong journey building self-confidence and how it inspired her to write her book Be Bold: A Guide to Unbreakable Confidence. Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/351 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you ever tempted to look at your partner’s phone? Or if you’re dating someone new… do you ever feel an urge to peruse social media for a glimpse of their ex? Jealousy is normal...but only to a degree. If you or your partner’s green-eyed monster is rearing its head a little too often, then this week’s episode is for you.  I’m going to break down the differences between normal and extreme jealousy and help you locate the origin of a jealous streak so you can decode it, deactivate it, and move into more healthy ways of relating. Learn more about today's episode at terricole.com/350 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you confused about what it means to be codependent? Do you ever wonder what codependency looks like in practice? If you’re nodding your head yes, that’s understandable. In my experience, there is often confusion around the topic of codependency, with a ton of misconceptions and a plethora of myths clouding up what it looks like in real life.  In today’s episode, I’m delivering rock-solid clarity about what codependency is by showing you what it’s not. Ready for some major myth-busting?! Let’s go! Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/349 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I’m sharing an interview with Gabrielle Stone. She’s an actress, podcaster, director, and best-selling author of two books: Eat, Pray, FML, and her newest book, The Ridiculous Misadventures of a Single Girl. We have a long conversation about love, loss, and self-love, and Gabrielle shares the compelling story of how she moved on from being cheated on by her husband of two years to arrive where she is today. Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/348 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you give ‘till it hurts in your relationships? Do you feel responsible for other people’s feelings, problems, and situations?  I can’t tell you how many comments and emails I get asking me: “How can I tell if I’m codependent?” and “What’s the difference between being caring and codependency?” Raising your awareness of these 8 codependency warning signs can help you start to focus on your own side of the street.  In today’s episode, I’m walking you through the most common symptoms and red flags that could point to codependency.  Read more about today's episode at terricole.com/347 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m so excited for you to tune into this juicy chat I had with my girlfriend Africa Brooke. She’s a globally recognized coach, consultant, thinker, and writer who specializes in helping people overcome self-censorship and other forms of self-sabotage. I met her through a virtual event on empowerment. She was the speaker right after me, and I was blown away by what she shared and what she talked about. I think you guys are going to love her work too. Read more about today's episode at terricole.com/346 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you have trouble asking for help? Do you find yourself saying, “It’s just so much easier if I do it myself?” Trust me, you are not alone. In today’s episode, I’ll be sharing how I learned to do less, produce more and ask for help, and I’ll teach you how to do the same. Learn more about today's episode at terricole.com/345 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I’m interviewing my super smart friend Jayson Gaddis who just released a brand new book called Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High Stakes Relationships. If you are a conflict avoider, you sometimes passive-aggressively communicate your displeasure rather than having a conversation about it, or you just don’t know how to repair your relationship after there has been a blowup or rupture, this episode is for you. Read more about today's episode at terricole.com/344 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you handle ruptures and communication breakdowns in your relationship? Do you avoid talking directly about the blow-ups and conflicts that you have? Do you ever pretend that they haven’t happened or act extra nice to avoid talking about them? I am going to help you understand what is and isn’t normal when you fight in a healthy relationship and give you a couple of in-the-moment strategies to prevent small ruptures from becoming huge problems. Read more about this episode at terricole.com/343 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices