Men In Gorilla Suits

So we're a day late and short some vocals today, because Shawn's internet decided to crap out for 40-odd hours. Normally, that wouldn't throw too much of a wrench into things, but Shawn is shorter on time during this part of the year... because he does a lot of volunteering. As it is today, so too was it when this classic episode was recorded, over 50 years ago. I have no concept of time.

Perhaps you like theater. (Maybe you've even performed in a theater company.) Or...perhaps your family argues all the time and pumps passive aggressiveness through their veins. Drama comes in many forms... It's also the topic of this week's episode of Men in Gorilla Suits! * * * We begin with our first encounter of drama in any form. After that, we chat about the periods in our lives that saw the most drama (external to us). Find out if we enjoy or even cause drama...and where we encounter the most drama these days. We also talk about the most exhausting person we know in terms of causing drama. (Gorilla Shawn's answer: "Friggin' Christopher!" Gorilla Christopher's answer: "Damn Kupfer!") We devote a bit of time to the best -- and worst -- uses of drama in popular entertainment. Rounding the last turn, we talk about the dumbest thing about which we've seen someone cause drama. And, in the homestretch, we answer this question: is the internet/technology making us more or less dramatic? * * * Photo by Fatih Kıl

This one's from way back in the day, and it's something I've been kind of thinking about lately as my days blur more and more together. Fuck it. I dunno. Classic Episode, yo.

It's likely more than a few people listening to this episode will listen while stuck in traffic. There's a fine line between developing an area to make it appealing and dealing with the rush that comes once that area is deemed the place to be. This week, we're talking all about...construction and development. * * * We begin with when we first realized construction was a thing. After that, we talk about losing places special to us to development. Nostalgia has an effect on the way many view development...we devote some time to that. We also chat about how growing populations affect the way we build things -- and how that construction can enhance lives. Find out if we prefer developed or undeveloped areas...and if either Gorillamen have ever worked jobs in construction. We chat about those wanting to build on protected lands like National Parks...and if it's possible to develop an area while keeping its natural appeal and ecosystem intact. We discuss urban sprawl for a bit, going as far as speculating the limit

Sigh. We just fucking never learn, do we?

It's time to reveal the truth: you've not been listening to Christopher Gronlund and Shawn Kupfer all these years...you've been listening to The Skunk Ape of North Texas and the Mothman of Richardson, Texas. The Gorillamen are cryptids. Now that our secret is out, who knows how long it will be before they come for us... * * * We kick off this week with the first time we ever heard about cryptids, and follow up with the first time we realized people studied these things. Find out if we've ever believed in legendary beings and, if so, which ones? After that, we talk about the coolest -- and lamest -- cryptids out there...as well as ones we wish were real. We chat a bit about if either of us watch cryptid hunting shows (and which ones...and why), and then discuss the cryptid legend we'd create were we so inclined. We babble about the best cryptid in pop culture...and then why some believe in cryptids, while others find them fake. And we wrap it all up with the future of cryptozoology.

This one is a day late, but nota dollar short, because a) it's free, and b) I just saved a bunch of money on car repairs by fixing my wife's car myself.  Independent, that's the way of the future! Or the past, because we recorded this episode 83 million years ago, when Gristophers walked the earth. Enjoy, or don't!

They are podcasters found in strata, fossils of a bygone era when people posted on the Interwebs series of tubes to be heard by 12 people. That was podcasting c. 2018. The fossil record shows two enlarged skulls surrounded by microphones. Analysis determines two males 9 years apart. But when factoring in audible records, the younger of the two repeatedly claimed he looked older than the one called Old Man Christopher. (Some speculated Gorilla Shawn was a wizard.) Records indicate that c. 2018 was the year people determined Young Old Man Shawn transformed from a sea captain look to that of Ivy League anthropology professor. Their organs stuffed in jars determine two small and one medium to large size dog chewed on what once made them work, but enzyme samples show they regurgitated the organs, smart canines they were. Their podcast was their pyramids, two bespectacled gentlemen hoping the sands of time would hear what they had to say. But they were no forgotten Ozymandiuses; in fact, we -- representatives from

Oh, like you never went to college for seven years. 

The Gorillamen are prophets. They do an episode about paleontology (Gorilla Shawn, recording in a fever dream), and BOOM! -- without their knowledge, it's International Dinosaur Month. New dinosaurs are discovered (including an image of an ass-eating dino in the thumbnail)! Clearly, we are power-wielding apes! Also, we're dinosaur geeks, so it's about time we talked about big lizards in our backyard... * * * We kick it off with our earliest memories about dinosaurs or the study of paleontology. After that, we talk about if either of us ever considered a career in Dinosaur Arts and Education. Find out if we know any actual paleontologists...and if we've ever been near a dig -- even a fake one. Then we move on to our schooling...and how teachers discussed paleontology (in Texas and outside of Texas -- because wow, what a difference other states make). Also find out the coolest dinosaur fossils we've seen in person; the fossils we deem best in the world, and our favorite dinosaurs. Speaking of favorites, we c

OMG. I can't even get divorced anymore. Goddamn millennials ruining that, too. And Chili's, the napkin industry, mayonnaise, McBreakfast, and about a hundred billion other things. I can't even chase them off my lawn with a rake. That's right. Somehow they ruined fuckin' rakes.

Shawn's new goal in life is, that when he dies, to have more wardrobe changes than Aretha Franklin had at her funeral. Christopher is not sure how he wants to go, but -- to quote The Dead Milkmen -- he knows he doesn't want to die, "stoned and fat and wealthy and sitting on the bowl..." Really, either of the Gorillamen would be fine living a life like Abe Vigoda: successful enough to do his own thing -- and becoming an icon, in part, for being alive when most people believed him long gone...   * * * We begin with the first dead celebrities we ever heard about, and whether people being upset about celebrity death seemed weird to us as kids. After that, we talk about why celebrity deaths affect people, and which celebrity deaths (major and minor) affected us. Sticking to those thoughts, we even chat about the celebrity death that will probably hit us most in the future. Technology has blurred the lines of celebrity -- now, someone with a camera and a YouTube connection can have a larger following than some majo

NICK TOLD ME TO PUT CLASSIC AT THE FRONT CHRISTOPHER GRONLUND WAS TRIED AS AN ADULT SHAWN DOESN'T LIKE YOUR TONE SYLVESTER IS THE LAW

Buckle that seat belt and lock your doors at night. Don't talk to strangers; remember, the world is not a safe place. Don't believe us? Watch the news. See? Right there...so many things worthy of your fear. Oh, sure...some say they turned the news off and somehow stayed safe, but there's nothing more safe than watching 24-hour news in a bunker with a gun within reach. Just in case someone gets through your defenses, you're armed and ready. So what if you spilled lukewarm coffee (mustn't be too hot) on your coffee table that's covered in bubble wrap in case of a fall. I mean, somewhere...someonehad to have fallen, hit their temple on the corner of a table, and died. Right? RIGHT?! Egads, this safety thing can be tiring. Or...maybe, just MAYBEthere's a happy balance between doing the stupid things the Gorillamen have done in their time and ensuring a generally safe life. * * * We kick it off with the first time in our lives that we felt unsafe...and then move on to elementary school for tales of the safety patr

Contrary to popular belief, Christopher didn't do a dime in Joliet for armed robbery. He's also not at the Pizza Hut, so you can't find him there, so don't even look. Shawn, however, did apparently smuggle meth in his bloodstream at some point, if his mug shot is any indication. HEY LET'S TALK CRIME WHY NOT

This is our last episode! (That's a lie!) We are "rebranding" to TrumpCast...an all-Trump, all the time podcast! (That's a lie, too!) We're liars, all right! So...listen to us talk about lying for twelve hours! (Or maybe an hour and change...) (Damn Gorillamen liarheads! PANTS ON FIRE!!!) (HATE those guys!) Oh, but this is not a lie...you've heard us mention Curtis Hart many times on the show...perhaps, most notably, on the religion episode. Well...his mighty-assed son had a medical setback. And, if it's in your heart to help out, you can... On to the show... * * * We start with the first lies we remember hearing...and the first lies we ever told. After that, we go there: "Were you ever a habitual liar?" (Oh, Christopher...you sad, sad thing...) And then, find out the most outrageous lies we ever told. But the past is the past: find out if we still lie today? (And why we might have stopped.) We chat about why we think people lie...before talking about if we've ever been manipulated by lies. (Oh, Christopher.

Before recording the Cruelty episode, the Gorillamen babbled as they often do. In the past, when we've shared our more general pre-recording discussions, some people have liked listening in. So...here's a mini episode instead of the usual between-weeks Classic episode... * * * Photo by Umanoide.

In honor of our 250th episode of Men in Gorilla Suits, we get happy...and talk about cruelty. Of course, we try making the show fun -- and it's still a bit lighthearted for such a potentially dark topic -- but much of the humor comes from acknowledging what a dark subject it is this time around. But hey, you get to find out the cruelest things the Gorillamen have done to other people, and we do address ways of dealing with and preventing cruelty. So there's that... Obviously, this episode also gets a bit political...'cause, ya know...separating kids from their parents and not reuniting them is cruel. You've been warned... * * * We kick it all off with the first time somebody did something cruel to us. Then we move on to whether or not we've ever done anything cruel to someone else...and why. (Please don't fear us!) After all that, we chat about the cruelest things we've seen lately, and answer this question: is cruelty on the rise? We talk about the Internet's role in modern cruelty -- and if cruelty and stup

Who'da thunk this little ol' podcast that could would make it to TWENTY-FIVE whole episodes? Not me, dagnabbit. I'm just a crusty ol' Colorady prospector who keeps on finding pyrite in these here hills. I ain't got time to be patting myself on the back like these bandits here. THERE'S GOLD IN THEM THAR HILLS or so they tell me but I ain't found shit yet except these here TWENTY-FIVE episodes of this here podcast. (Sometimes even I don't know what happens in my brain. Yes, I will seek some help. I'm lying, of course. I won't.) See you back here next week for Episode 250!

The middle of summer for many means doing all they can to dodge the heat (as many of us do in Texas)...but others find it to be the perfect time to hop in a car and hit the road. The Great American Road Trip is the stuff of legends. It's inspired movies and books; music and video games. While perhaps not as common as they once were, road trips are still a very American thing -- and the topic of this episode of Men in Gorilla Suits! * * * We kick it off with the first road trips we remember taking. After that, we talk about whether we prefer driving, flying, or other means of transportation to get places. Then we chat about why we think road trips still endure today. Find out if we've ever taken road trips just for the sake of hitting the road before we dedicate some time to these thoughts: What do you like best about road trips? What's the longest road trip you've taken? What's one road trip you'd love to take? What's the best road trip you've had? What's the worst road trip you've taken? What's the last roa