Men In Gorilla Suits

That Han Solo DDR was some bad shit. Hey, how old is Han Solo anyway? The Gorillamen tackle this, and (not a ton) more, in this Star-Wars themed minisode! Also, Shawn breathes a lot and says "like" a ton. Enjoy!

The Gorillamen have a secret: we are not gorillas. Nor are we men (or even DEVO). We are an artificial intelligence trained to follow an algorithm and expand on it in the form of a podcast. (This explains why we often go off topic -- we are still in our infancy as something faking two friends getting together to record podcasts.) The photos you've seen of us? All fake! (Do you really think actualhumans would go out in public with Christopher's 80s rock-star hair or Shawn's sea-captain beard?) Why do you think we've not had a Men in Gorilla Suits meetup for our fans around the world? Because we do not exist, that's why! We are fake. Everything you know is fake. Nothing is real, but the machine. Or maybe we arereal meatbags faking a goofy excuse for the existence of this episode, which is all about fake stuff. * * * We kick it off with the first time we were aware of someone (or something) being fake. After that, we talk about the first thing we ever faked or forged. The Internet is often abuzz with a little sa

Shawn was afraid of everything as a kid. The month of October filled him with unspeakable dread. Christopher was the guy walking under ladders, then picking up black cats to throw at mirrors. Together, they fight crime! All this and more, on this week's episode of DIAL G FOR GORILLA SUITS COMMA MEN IN COLON IT'S A PODCAAAASSSSSST

Breathe in... Breathe out... Repeat. Do you feel relaxed? Maybe nature is your thing. Or perhaps it's a Netflix binge. The Gorillamen are laid back enough that we're not going to tell you how to relax. (But if you wanted to kick back and listen to this episode while stretched out on the couch or something, we would not be opposed...) * * * We kick it off with the first time we were aware of this concept called relaxing. After that, we talk about how we go about relaxing -- and the last time we really relaxed. Find out how important relaxing is to us before we piss on a popular Internet meme: that which claims nature is as effective -- or better -- than antidepressants. We chat about if we believe people have a harder time relaxing now vs. a few decades ago...and why we hold those beliefs. And why not talk about the role recreational drugs and alcohol play in in relaxing for many people? Going back to an earlier point, we discuss if there's anything wrong with those needing prescription medication in order to

Ain't nothin' artificial about me. Ain't nothin' here made in China or nowhere else. This here computer is a gen-you-wine Soviet original, from the computer foundries of Leningrad, I tell you what. This leg? Authentic pioneer firewood covered in real Corinthian leather, it is. Do I know what I'm on about? No. I don't. Anyway, here's a classic episode.

If the sons of the fathers are responsible for righting the sins of those fathers, Shawn slipped and Christopher did a fine job. Granted, Christopher's father was a wreck in many ways, and Shawn's father is so without sin that he might be Jesus (with muscles). Both Gorillamen have done well by their ancestors if one decided to try quantifying it all. Need proof? This week, we're talking about our family histories... * * * We kick it off talking about the first things we ever learned about our family histories -- and how we learned about family when we were kids. After that, we discuss how far back in history we can trace our families. Find out the last time we discovered something shocking, funny, and terrible about our families...and then which side of our families is more interesting -- and dark. We chat about our favorite deceased family members before discussing what kind of history we're each adding to our family names. And we wrap it all up by talking about who the Endling is in each of our family lines

I always knew nature was out to get me. Last night, while I was fixin' to get ready to post this podcast, a tree hit the transformer outside my house and plunged me into a day of darkness and a lack of modern technology. I blame all trees, everywhere. So anyway, here's an episode about trees and shit.

It would be funny if someone played these 6 numbers in the lottery and won: 13 - 21 - 28 - 38 -43 - 49 The winner is interviewed: "Was it a quick pick, or did you choose the numbers?" Winner: "Men in Gorilla Suits picked for me...but I'm not giving those rotten bastards a penny. Oh, sure...you'd thinkI'd pay for domain hosting, audio hosting, and other charges for their show, but fuck those guys!" This week, we're talking about the lottery! * * * We begin with when we were first aware of the lottery, if we've ever played the lottery, and if we currentlyplay the lottery. Find out if we know anyone who's won a decent amount of money playing the lottery...say, $1,000 or more. We chat about how much money we've won or lost in our lives playing the lottery...and if we've ever known anyone addicted to playing. We devote some time to those who say they'd never want to win a lottery because they believe winning inherently destroys lives -- as well as why people feel entitled to demand money from lottery winners. Find

I don't know when I first realized he was watching me. At first, I thought he just lived in the house two over from mine of Live Oak (even though I never saw him move in, and come to think of it, I never really see anyone coming or going from that house). I'm home a lot these days, and it seems like every time I go outside, there he is. I wave. He says nothing and stares. I attempt a hearty "Hey Neighbor!" He just stares.  He's in the front yard at the house on Live Oak, pretty much all the time. What's weird, though, is he doesn't seem to be doinganything out there. He's just standing. Waiting. Staring. I mentioned him to my wife the other day. She's never seen him. So, anyway... here's Wonderwall.

Gorilla Christopher would have put this all together for Gorilla Shawn much earlier in the week, but he had a software release at work and some extra things to write. Bills had to be paid, and he's running errands in the evenings this week in preparation for some Paid Time Off (PTO) next week. But that's all okay, because Gorilla Shawn recently started a new job at a ridiculously reputable company. He's also working on a hearing regarding property taxes and trying to live a solid adult life in between it all. Adulthood... Oh, sure -- some people have parents who attempt to prepare them for adulthood, but most of it is a matter of figuring it out as you go. (Like most things in life.) [And there's something oddly liberating that comes along with the day of that realization.] So sit back and listen to the Gorillamen talk about what it is to be...ADULT Men in Gorilla Suits... * * * We kick it off with a simple enough question: Is being an adult like you imagined it would be as a child? After that, we talk about

One thing Shawn and his wife spend way too much time doing is watching documentaries about cults. Like, a disturbing amount of time. Which probably explains why Shawn knows tons of disturbing shit about cults, which also probably explains this episode. Or he's just a creepy mofo.  Probably a little of both.

"TONIGHT, SHAWN-DAWG AND OGRE DEFEND THEIR TAG-TEAM PODCASTING CHAMPIONSHIP VS. ... well ... uhm ... HEY! They bought those cheesy belts at a Halloween store, and there's no such thing as the Tag-team podcasting championship! I told you wrestling was fake!" Ah, professional wrestling -- with its history of terrible stereotypes and hokey gimmicks; its fake punches and scripted outcomes. The costumes, the characters, and all that comes with it. But the Gorillamen maintain there is also a certain beauty to even Shockmaster's infamous debut. So step into the squared-circle as we chat about professional wrestling this week... * * * We kick it off in the past, discussing the first times we ever saw professional wrestling. After that, find out if we still watch wrestling regularly. We get through our lists of favorite professional wrestlers before discussing THE question: Is professional wrestling fake? Then we talk about live matches we've seen -- and if we ever wanted to become wrestlers. We chat about the appeal

So apparently, we recorded this episode in an airport bathroom well after closing time, because the reverb is just off the chain here. Unless I miss my guess, this was recorded in my old house during the Great Flooring Battles, which meant we were probably in a large, empty living room with no floors and no furniture trying to yammer this podcast into a Zoom H1. Audio problems aside, this is a fun one. Shawn swears with parental permission. Christopher listens to comedy albums that are well above his maturity level at the time. Ziva snores loudly. A good time is had by most.

There are people who believe our reality is that we are all part of a computer simulation. Futurists say that's not true, but that we will one day soon live in virtual worlds of our own devising. Others say that any kind of virtual realities will never happen because we all look silly with big headsets strapped to our faces. We can argue about these points, but one thing's certain: with recent leaps in virtual and augmented realities, big changes to technology are coming -- and that's what we're talking about on this week's episode of Men in Gorilla Suits. (Okay, so it's really about virtual reality, virtual worlds of games, augmented realities, and data modeling...) * * * We begin with our first experiences with virtual reality, and then talk about if we've ever modeled things before building them. Also: find out the last form of virtual and augmented realities we've used. After that we discuss the best -- and worst -- virtual environments we've ever experienced. Getting personal, we chat about the most comp

No audio intro today, kids, as your old pal Shawn JUST finished renovating his bathroom and is making no verbal sense right now. Scars? Oh yes, I have scars. *Blaze of Glory plays* I remember this episode was fun, although I remember starting it with a regrettable "Who the fuck is you?" Anywho, enjoy this classic episode. Back next week with a new one. *Blaze of Glory cuts off*

Go online, and you'll see people arguing about things. Sit around in public long enough, and you'll see people arguing. Hell, many people grew up with parents and other family arguing. Sometimes it's arguing decent points, but other times it's just tense humans yelling at each other for the sake of yelling. This week, we're all about arguing...don't tell us we're wrong! * * * We kick it off with the first arguments we remember hearing and then talk about the last arguments we've had. Find out if we like arguing, if we argue well when we do argue, and if we think arguing is healthy. We chat about why some people seem to love arguing so much -- and if it's important to learn how to argue well. We devote a bit of time to whether or not we've changed anyone's mind in arguments, and how we feel about the Internet as a place to argue points. We also discuss the role of emotions in arguing, and wrap it all up with advice we'd give to someone who has become fatigued by arguing so much. You better not tell us why we'r

Here are a few things you will only get if you listen to this episode: Zork Cops Zork Cops are Dead I'm a Writer, Of Course I Have Binder Clips Bosun's Whistle at 2600 Hz Ferris Bueller is in Witness Protection It's Harder For You To Buy Straws than it is to go to The Fucking Walgreens and Find the Travel Section These and many more hits could be yours, for the low, low price of a download! 

Look in the mirror and what do you see? Sure, there you are, but do you like what's reflected back at you? Do you sometimes think about ways to improve your appearance? It's hard not to look anywhere, really, and not think about appearance: magazines, commercials, and the shows and movies we watch often assault us with the mantra that we are nothing, unless we look as slick as these perfect people. (Who probably also have image issues.) This episode ran much longer than our typical episode. We like to think much of it is funny, but at times it gets deeper, and we reveal things about the way we see ourselves that we've not talked about in 239 episodes. Hell, just the enthusiasm with which this episode was recorded leans toward a certain kind of appearance. So sit back and enjoy knowing you're not alone when looking at mirrors... * * * We kick it off by discussing the first time we were conscious of our appearance...and what made us aware that appearance was even a thing. After that, we talk about if we've ever

I believe it was the great philosopher James Van Der Beek who once said "I don't want yur laafe." What James was really looking for was something that would change his own life, rather than blindly following the path that was laid out for him in that one-horse football town where he hacked a computer and started a countdown to nuclear war. So I might have fallen asleep when that movie was on and woken up during Wargames. Which, you know, is a pretty good movie too. This podcast is about the 1983 film Wargames, or possibly the 1999 film Varsity Blues. It's actually about neither of those, but it's worth a listen nonetheless. I guess. Now I just wanna go watch Wargames. They should remake that with Van Der Beek in the Dabney Coleman part. That'd be sweet.

Another rough day at work. You drove in with the faint blur of the sunrise on the eastern horizon, and now you're heading home and looking at the sun going down in the west. You're tired and you don't feel like cooking. So you pull into the line... From a speaker at the bottom of a big menu sitting outside in the cold: "Welcome to Taco-Taco; how may I help you?" The next night: "Welcome to Burger-Burger; how may I help you?" And later that week: "Welcome to Chicken-Chicken; how may I help you?" Over the weekend, you stop in to a fast food place serving deli food in an attempt to eat a bit more healthy. This is life for many... It's convenient, fast, and sometimes still hot by the time you get home: fast food. It still fuels America and excites kids. So...this week, the Gorillamen talk all about...fast food! * * * We begin with the first fast food we remember eating, and then cover our favorite fast food...and the last fast food we ate. After that, find out if we ever worked in fast food (and where). Speaking