Men In Gorilla Suits

Buckle that seat belt and lock your doors at night. Don't talk to strangers; remember, the world is not a safe place. Don't believe us? Watch the news. See? Right there...so many things worthy of your fear. Oh, sure...some say they turned the news off and somehow stayed safe, but there's nothing more safe than watching 24-hour news in a bunker with a gun within reach. Just in case someone gets through your defenses, you're armed and ready. So what if you spilled lukewarm coffee (mustn't be too hot) on your coffee table that's covered in bubble wrap in case of a fall. I mean, somewhere...someonehad to have fallen, hit their temple on the corner of a table, and died. Right? RIGHT?! Egads, this safety thing can be tiring. Or...maybe, just MAYBEthere's a happy balance between doing the stupid things the Gorillamen have done in their time and ensuring a generally safe life. * * * We kick it off with the first time in our lives that we felt unsafe...and then move on to elementary school for tales of the safety patr