Simply Abundant Intuitive

Yes, there is good in all of us. But that doesn’t mean you should ignore red flags in a relationship because you want to see the good in people. And it certainly doesn’t mean it’s your job to make those red flags go away; to shine that diamond in the rough! When you tell yourself what an amazing person you are for seeing the good in someone, that’s your ego talking. It’s the false part of yourself seeing the false part of others. And it’s totally rooted in insecure attachment. Emotionally healthy people don’t sacrifice their own wellbeing for others. When you believe this martyr story and ignore or excuse red flags, you sell yourself short. You do NOT deserve a “broken” person who needs rescuing. That road leads to unhappiness because it’s an impossible journey, and you’ll never find what you’re looking for. Focusing on the other person means you’re avoiding yourself. In today’s podcast we’ll explore this story we tend to create, and how to change it. Ignoring red flags doesn’t make you noble. Let’s dispel t

You wish you could be calm, cool and collected. Other people seem to do it—they can pull off being mysterious while your facial expressions always give you away. You feel like the weird emotional one, trying to tame whatever is brewing inside while everyone else stays calmly in control. You’re afraid if anyone knew how you really felt, they would judge you. But following the rules of what other people deem as “acceptable” will leave you disconnected from yourself and your life. If you want to be comfortable in your skin, you need to value your own truth and stop seeking outside approval. In this week’s episode I’ll show you how to pay attention to your insecurities, and identify which situations provoke them. From there you can practice showing up in those situations however you feel, and not expecting yourself to be different. Gauging how you’re supposed to act by watching the body language, words and actions of others is the opposite of authentic. Instead, take action from an internal desire for happiness

How much time do you spend complaining about problems and/or fixing them? You finally join the country club, but you can never get the tee-time you want, the food is bland and all the members are annoying. Or you criticize your co-worker for doing a project “wrong,” then take it over and do it yourself because no one can measure up to you. This, my friends, is classic avoidance. When your focus is on problems outside of you, it lets you off the hook to address what’s happening INSIDE of you. When you don’t trust life or other people, you work harder to control things, including solving problems that don’t exist. And when you criticize everything under the sun, you are resistant to change and growth. These are signs of unhappiness. In this week’s episode we’ll look at your expectations of others and why they exist. You will also be challenged to stop solving problems for one day to see what happens when you allow life to unfold without judgment or control. Problems are everywhere, but they don’t have to becom

“Entrepreneurship and starting your own business is just one big personal development game.” Scout Sobel is a trailblazer in the media industry. She is the founder of Scout’s Agency, the co-host of Okay Sis Podcast, and the host of SCOUT Podcast. But growing up, she suffered from emotional paralysis, experiencing her first bout of anxiety in kindergarten. A depressive episode in high school led to therapy intervention, followed by paranoia in college. When she was eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the age of 20, Scout thought her life was over. She painfully watched friends succeed while she failed to hold down part-time jobs as a college drop-out. It wasn’t until faced with losing her boyfriend that she started taking responsibility for the cards she was dealt instead of blaming God for giving them to her. She sought out resources for her mental illness, got a job and took community college classes. Her brain kicked into high gear when she started a magazine with a friend… leading her down the

It’s hard to be grateful for misfortune, and the suffering that results. It’s much easier to wallow in “Why me? Poor me!” than to look for the gift. The truth is, you can find gratitude in every situation. It’s being thankful for some aspect of every situation rather than only focusing on the negative. When you surrender to reality and look for the blessing, you arrive at gratitude. It’s expansive and helps you see yourself more clearly. Let’s say you lose your job. You can dwell on the situation and be pissed off, or accept the reality and look for the gifts. Maybe your next job will be better or you can start the business you’ve always wanted. It’s also a chance to look at how you showed up for the job, using it as an opportunity for growth. Perhaps your discontent was reflected in your work, or you disconnected from your co-workers. With gratitude comes opportunity because you get to be the creator of your life rather than a helpless victim. This is not about being a Pollyanna and ignoring your pain. Fee

You consider yourself a strong person. When a challenge presents itself, you tackle it head-on. People come to you for answers because you always seem to have them. You pick others up when they fall. You’re reliable and trustworthy. But to be that pillar of strength, you push your emotions aside because you can’t be someone else’s hero if they see a crack in your armor. And therein lies the problem. We have been brought up to believe that giving is strong and receiving is weak. But that’s backwards. Asking for help and being able to receive takes courage. Allowing others to see you as human is what strong people do. In this week’s episode I’ll challenge you to explore why being “strong” is important to you, and where you struggle to receive. Because you can’t give or receive love freely if you’re emotionally shut down. When you open your heart to others and allow them to see your vulnerability, you radiate strength. WISDOM NUGGET (#wisdomnugget) The hole in your suit of armor is inside of you. Allow it to e

Born of a spiritual-seeking mother and knowledge-seeking father, Laurie Gerber grew up fascinated by the human experience and what makes people tick. She became an educational consultant who matched students with tutors, but realized she was less interested in helping students achieve academic success than she was in helping them deal with their suffering. To better define her goals and excel in her career, Laurie started working with a coach. That’s when she realized how much of her entire life—not just professionally—was spent anesthetized, simply going through the motions. Using The Handel Method, which is what she now teaches, Laurie saw the disconnect between her dreams and her reality. Join me as Laurie shares how she reconnected with her husband and what she envisioned for herself as a kid by getting vulnerable and speaking her truth. Today she teaches practical tools on how to dream, bust excuses, action plan for the future, build Personal Integrity® and, most importantly, the art of honesty. “If we

What happened to your dreams? Did you give up on them? Or are you still waiting for them to happen, hoping that “someday” is right around the corner? Maybe what you wanted did show up, but it didn’t fulfill you. The thing about dreams is, they don’t always show up how and when you expect them to, and they don’t just fall in your lap. They require a combination of surrender and action. But not just any action; it has to be intentional, emotional action. Empty action, which is numb and devoid of emotion, may make your “dream” happen, but if you’re not connected to it, does it really bring fulfillment? Dreams evolve, and they are not reserved for the lucky few… or the young. You can be someone who makes your life what you want it to be by aligning your emotions and actions. In this week’s episode we’ll look at common obstacles to realizing your dreams, and what to do differently. I’ll share a writing exercise to reveal your patterns and where you place your focus. It’s one I have used in my own life. Your dream

Do you get exceptionally angry when a restaurant server gets your order wrong, or when plans change at the last minute, or when customer service won’t fix your problem? We’re not talking mild frustration (those situations can be annoying!), but rather deep seated anger that is triggered into an explosion. Perhaps you yell at the other person, blaming them for what you’re unhappy with. Or maybe you’re one of those people who smiles on the outside while seething on the inside. Where does this anger come from? Can it be stopped? And who are you actually angry with? Blaming other people or circumstances for your anger is easier than dealing with your deeper emotions, but it’s not a peaceful way to live. It makes you a powerless victim and creates distance in relationships. In this week’s podcast we’ll look at how to deal with anger, including taking responsibility for your choices. Anger can be tough to admit, but once you own it, you can work on letting it go and take your power back. Releasing it will set you

You have probably heard some version of “what you think, you create.” Meaning your thoughts create your reality. If your love life feels like a train wreck (or any part of your life, really), this can be a scary idea. Are you creating the situation you don’t want by ruminating on negative thoughts? By constantly thinking there are no “good ones” out there, are you actually making it true? Well… yes and no. Thoughts play a role, but they are not the only factor. Trying to simply stop the thoughts or replace them with positive affirmations doesn’t make them go away. It runs much deeper than that. In this week’s podcast we’ll talk about everything that exists between thoughts and actions, and where to focus if you want to change your situation. Believing your reality is only caused by your thoughts is limiting and untrue. If you want to change what isn’t working, you need to look at your emotions, beliefs, motivation, words and actions that stem from your thoughts. The good news is if you do this, you absolutel

Kristina Mand-Lakhiani was born in the Soviet Union where entrepreneurship was punishable by law and everyone was given the same “manual” for success. By the age of 40 she had an Instagrammable life with a husband, son and daughter, yet she became annoyed when people asked about her children or husband, as if she herself wasn’t important. Guilt followed because she had a great life and “shouldn’t feel that way,” a belief she finally started to question and explore. It took courage for Kristina to be honest with herself and discover who she was behind her mask of perfection, but the harder part was taking action, which meant separating from her husband and disappointing the people around her. “Society’s idea of success and your personal idea of your happiness are not the same thing.” --Kristina Mand-Lakhiani Today Kristina is an international speaker, entrepreneur, artist, philanthropist and mother. She also co-founded of Mindvalley, a science-based learning platform for human transformation and entrepreneur

You sure do have your act together. You look great, take care of yourself and project an air of confidence. Success has always been an important focus, and “slowing down” isn’t in your vocabulary. People may admire you and compliment your achievements, but there’s just one tiny little problem—you feel like an imposter. You’re afraid of people getting close to you because if they do, they might see behind the curtain and realize you’re way more of a mess than they thought. As a result, your personal life is either dysfunctional or nonexistent. Your drive isn’t actually success, it’s fear of abandonment. If people see your flaws, they might leave. And if you go a level deeper, you’ll discover there is actually something about yourself you find unacceptable. So the mask goes on and the charade continues. Unfortunately you can’t live a full life when you are emotionally hiding. In this week’s episode we’ll dive into the importance you place on your exterior, and what drives your fear. When you start confronting

Do you surround yourself with cool, successful or impressive people to feel like you embody those qualities by association? How many of those friends do you stay in touch with and make plans to get together while they put forth little-to-no effort? When you don’t feel valued, one way to fill that emptiness is to work hard at relationships that would probably fall apart without your effort. Your pattern of trying to prove your worth exhausts you, and any feelings of worthiness are temporary. Unfortunately you can’t force yourself to believe you are enough. But you can recognize all the ways you don’t believe it by your actions… and then change your behavior. What are you doing and why? Is it authentic, or is it coming from a place of lack? Affirmations and simply proclaiming, “I am enough!” don’t work if you don’t believe it. Listen to this week’s podcast to learn what to do instead. It may be counterintuitive, but it will move you out of resistance so you can begin the deeper work. Wisdom Nugget (#wisdomnug

Did you grow up feeling you were too much, not enough, too nice, too cold, too sensitive, too shy, too annoying, too inquisitive or too ANYTHING? Basically, instead of being loved for your whole self, did you feel like you were simply tolerated? Maybe you wondered, throughout your life, if people even liked being around you because those too much/not enough beliefs were always with you. So, to move from tolerance to love, you worked hard to prove yourself worthy of someone else’s company. And did those people (intimate partners, friends, family members, etc.) treasure you for the wonderful human you are? Probably not. Why? Because you didn’t treasure you. Self-love isn’t simply about spa visits, eating healthy, working out or treating yourself to a new outfit. It is attention, connection and awareness to yourself. And you cultivate it by slowing down, feeling your feelings and choosing what makes you happy. When you love yourself, you have compassion for who you are, what you are and why you are. And that is

You attract people exactly where you are. If you’re unavailable, you will attract someone who is unavailable. To attract open, you must BE open. People who are attracted to emotionally unavailable people are attached to UNREALISTIC outcomes, and their idea of a good partner is narrow—as in they need to fit the perfect picture. Maybe you want to meet someone so you don’t spend the holidays alone, providing a very limited opening for what you will accept. Even people who have done work on themselves can be drawn to emotionally unavailable people because it’s familiar. It stems from our negative beliefs, particularly “I am alone” and “there is not really enough.” We often look for evidence our beliefs are true, so we attract painful partners. As with everything, the first step is awareness. To move toward available, notice what you’re normally drawn to. What checklists do you have? Forget your “type” and pay attention to how certain attractive qualities feel to you. Where do you feel connected when you are with

Guy Finley is a best-selling author of more than 45 books and audios on self-realization, including his newest release, “Relationship Magic: Waking Up Together” which explores the purpose of relationships. His journey began when he was 12 or 13 years old, upon hearing a voice whose message formed the path of his entire life. Since then he has experienced a series of blows to who he was and who he thought he would be. In our riveting conversation, Guy shares his views on suffering, letting go, triggers, resistance, identity and so much more. He also talks about what he calls “peephole consciousness,” and how it limits our perspective of reality. Guy challenges us to ask what we can learn from each moment instead of focusing on what we tell ourselves about the moment. And also to stop thinking about what we are, and work to see what we are. He is full of wisdom, and I always enjoy talking with him. “Resistance is the revelation killer. You cannot resist anything in the moment, and hope to learn that lesson in

People think “selfish” is a dirty word, so there’s a lot of fear around it. They’ve had it beat into them that being selfish is bad, which leads to people-pleasing. When you succumb to people-pleasing, you’re constantly at the mercy of the rest of the world to validate you. You think if you don’t give to someone else or do what they want, you’re being selfish. And being selfish makes you feel guilty! You become so focused on not wanting to be selfish you walk on eggshells, over-doing to avoid the label. Try as hard as you can to be a saint and it won’t matter—when you try to compensate for your negative beliefs, it comes back to bite you. The thing is, you’re never going to feel good when you go against yourself. You end up in this pattern of giving, thinking you’ll be seen as a good person and eventually get something in return. But when that doesn’t happen, you end up resentful… and then you try even harder. It’s a vicious cycle that’s not only painful, it also stops you from getting close to people. I kno

If you can’t live without someone, and are knee-deep in soulmate territory where you need them to “complete” you, you are very likely stuck in attachment. You have a picture in your head of what you want your life to be and how you want to feel, so you’re trying to fit them into it, regardless of how things really are. So you push and pull, trying to mold them into what you want. Perhaps you cherry pick the good moments to convince yourself they’re the one. But where are their feelings in all of this? Are you in this relationship together, or are you just focused on getting what you want? And are you even getting it? Attachment is self-absorption in many ways. Not because you’re self-centered or a bad person—not at all. You are simply reacting to your pain, which can be all-consuming. It’s an emptiness that needs to be fed, so you are constantly looking for ways to fill it. The quicker the better because you’re in scarcity land and it may disappear in a blink. Attachment like this can be an out-of-body exper

How often do you look for the enemy in your life? Whether it’s a partner who can’t commit, a condescending boss or an entitled rich person, labeling them as the bad guy can make you feel better about yourself. After all, if they are the bad guy, that makes you the good guy, right? And when you’re the good guy, you don’t need to do anything differently; the responsibility to change or be different is all on them. But people and situations are not inherently good or bad—it is only your perception. Passing judgment on others is also a way to hide from your emotions and remain a victim. If everything is their fault, you don’t have to look at how you are contributing. Instead, perhaps you fantasize about what life would be life if your partner finally committed to the relationship or your boss started respecting you, but that fantasy does nothing to change your reality. In this week’s podcast I invite you to look at things from a different perspective. By dropping the labels and looking at what you’re avoiding (i

You may think boundaries are set for the benefit of others, and get angry when they aren’t followed. But you probably go against your own boundaries all the time without realizing it. People take their cues from how you treat yourself, so if you’re upset about putting in extra effort despite expressing your need for help and you keep doing it, look at how you continue to pick up the slack. If your partner is constantly making plans with you at the last minute, despite you asking him/her to plan ahead, you have to ask why you stay in a relationship with yourself where you are disrespecting you which is then reflected in this relationship where you don’t feel like a priority. Even if you yell at them or punish them for their unacceptable behavior, you’re still allowing it to happen, because you are not respecting you. Boundaries are not the responsibility of others, they are yours. If your boundaries aren’t being respected, look at whether YOU are respecting them. Telling someone what you want or what is accep