Having It All: Conversations About Living An Abundant Loving Life

What is something that you've always wanted to do, but you know you've let fear and discomfort hold you back? It's the first week of September, and that means Fall is officially here. You've been putting in deposits into your tank for a while now, and now it's time for you to act. In today's episode I'm setting up a context for getting into action to do things you've been afraid to do, to experience things you've always wanted to experience. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode I'm sharing a way for you to learn how to change your relationship towards stress. If you're used to feeling stressed out with ish hits the fan, and you have been unable to shift that feeling, then tune in! I'm going to share with you how you can use exercise to learn how to deal with stress more effectively. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is all about FAITH, but not in the most widely used sense. I’m talking about having supreme confidence and trust in someone or something. I look at faith like this: FAITH = TRUST + SURRENDER. On Sunday September 11th, 2016, Sarah and I welcomed the birth of our daughter Maya. Through that experience I both witnessed and practiced the most humbling amount of trust and surrender that I have in my life thus far. Sarah surrendered to her body, to the labor waves, to her coaches. I trusted in our preparation, in the team we assembled, and in my ability to support. Witnessing what I can only describe as pure faith on the parts of everyone involved, I began to think about the other areas in my life where my personal faith is lacking. Where I’m failing to trust someone or something, and where I’m fighting for control rather than surrendering. This episode is all about faith, trust and surrender. I briefly talk about Maya’s birth experience, but spend the bulk of the episode diving into what it looks and

By now you might have heard of the Tony Robbins documentary “I am not your guru”. It’s been making its way around Netflix and the internet. If you haven’t seen it, I recommend you give it a watch! Well, I checked it out the other day and can honestly say that few other documentaries have inspired me as much as this one. It wasn’t Tony Robbins who inspired me. I love his approach to personal transformation. I love how raw and real he is. I love his boldness and that he’s not afraid to call people on their bullshit. All of that makes for some compelling tv! But no, it wasn’t Tony who inspired me. Instead, I was inspired by the people in the documentary who recognized their opportunity for breakthrough, and boldly stepped into it. This happens a handful of times in the documentary, and each time it’s amazing to watch them process the situation, become aware of their breakthrough moment, analyze the risk/reward, confront the terror that comes up, and take ACTION! This episode is about what it really takes to expe

Are you able to answer the question -- "What would have to happen in order for you to feel fulfilled in your life?"  If you're struggling with feeling fulfilled then LISTEN UP!  Today I'm sharing with you a very simple method for answering that fulfillment question, so you can both FEEL and BE more fulfilled in your life.  Links:  Purpose Webinar Having It A.L.L. Blueprint Course Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode I'm sharing an example of consistency that I experience in my life every week. His name is Robert Monroe and he has been on this podcast before. In the episode titled "“You Have To Move Your Feet”: A Story About Seeing the Beauty in All of Life’s Circumstances", Robert shares his inspiring story and message about moving through life's circumstances. This past week I received a lesson in consistency and was inspired by just how consistent Robert had been over the past 12 months in being intentional about transforming his health.  I leave with you some very simple tips about creating more consistency in your life that will help you build momentum and have it all. Show notes: Check out my earlier conversation with Robert - “You Have To Move Your Feet”: A Story About Seeing the Beauty in All of Life’s Circumstances Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What subjects are off limits to you? What things do you avoid in your life like the plague? Most people have some topics that they refuse to address. These "taboo subjects" are robbing you of your power, your freedom and your life! If you want to truly have it all and live the life you're meant to live, then you MUST start addressing these things in a real way.  Today I talk about how to do just that.  Curious about working with me 1:1? Learn more and connect with me here: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As your responsibilities go up (new children, new job, more lovers), is your capacity to handle these new responsibilities going up as well? For most, the answer is something like "I don't even think about my capacity when I take on new life stressors". And if that sounds like you, then this episode will help you become aware of your current capacity and will give you very actionable steps to raise your ability to handle the life you've created. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Where do you spend most of your emotional time and energy: in things you can influence or in things you have zero control over? If you're a proactive person who takes response-ability for their lives, then you absolutely focus on the things you can influence. Reactive people spend their time focusing on things that they have zero control over. The difference between circle of influence and circle of concern is at the heart of today's podcast.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can you have it all? This was the question that launched this podcast. 5 years later, and my answer to that question hasn't wavered one bit: Yes, you absolutely can! There's no "...BUT" at the end of the statement either. You can have it all in life, AND I'll show you how it's possible! In today's episode I'm talking about why so many people get it wrong when they're talking about and pursing having it all, and how you can do it in a more effective, joyful and fulfilling way. If you want to reach out to me with episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast in general, or just to say hi, you can do so in two ways: Email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do people, supplied with wisdom and a clear path of action, not experience breakthroughs? Why is it that we can be so clear that addressing our beliefs, paradigms and traumas around sex will be so healing and beneficial, but we never take the next step? Sex has been the most challenging and rewarding space for healing in my life. Challenging because the pages of my sexual story (like so many others) were written many years ago and reinforced by unhealthy beliefs and habits around sex. But I experienced a massive breakthrough around sex (many, actually), and as a result I've seen my self esteem, self worth and self acceptance reach heights I didn't know possible for myself. If you've been a listener for a long period of time, you've heard me chronicle these things on the show. As a life coach, I help men and women who are seeking their own breakthroughs in life. And sex is an area where so many of us are stuck, unexpressed and overall have unhealthy relationships with. On today's episode I share with you t

What do you enjoy in the bedroom? How do you express yourself sexually (or not)? In life, self expression is a major part of understanding yourself, growing, living life to the fullest. It's the same in the realm of sex! Often we choose not to fully express ourselves in sex because of fear of judgement, pushback, ridicule, condemnation, and so many other things rooted in fears. In today's episode I'm helping you get clear on what you enjoy in the bedroom, and we're discussing how to express yourself more in the bedroom. If you want to reach out to me with episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast in general, or just to say hi, you can do so in two ways: Email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does your sex life have to change for the worse after kids? We know of course the answer is “No, it doesn’t”, but how do you keep it from turning stale? How do you keep the fire burning for your partner after you’ve had a kid or two?" Today I'm bringing you a "SEX-PISODE" from my other podcast, Doing It At Home, where my wife Sarah and I get real about what our sex life has been like after having a baby. There are three main areas we’re going to focus on: How we schedule sex into our busy lives Why keeping the flame burning is important to us The ebbs and flows our sex lives have taken as we progressed from a married couple, to being pregnant, to having a brand new baby, to now being parents for a period of time We’re getting raw and honest in this episode, and it’s our hope that hearing us talk about these topics will give you permission to explore these things on your own. We want to create and hold a space of open and honest communication, first and foremost with yourself, but also with the person/peo

How was your first sexual experience? How would you describe it in two words? Our first experience with sex tends to leave a lasting impression on us. Sex is viewed as a right of passage, a transition point where there's no going back. Some people enter into their first sexual experience having had healthy, mature and empowering conversations about sex, but many do not. They are equipped with the ideas, beliefs, stories and feelings about sex that they picked up from their peers, tv, society and parents and teachers who themselves may not have a healthy and empowering view of sex. As a result, our first sexual experiences leave a lasting impression on us that set the stage for the rest of our lives. In today's episode we're diving into our first sexual experiences with the goal of examining it from an empowered and mature perspective. You have the power to rescript what sex means to you, and to write your personal sexual story (past and future) in a way that leaves you feeling confident and uplifted. If you

What is your sexual story? No, I'm not talking about a romance novel type of story. I'm talking about the narrative you have around sex, the one that was started many years ago with your very first encounters with the ideas, feelings and attitudes around sex. We all have a sexual story that was started when we were young and is being added to constantly. Many people's stories around sex are based in shame, judgement, embarrassment and expectation. That leads to sexual experiences and feelings that are unhealthy and certainly don't uplift and heal. But it doesn't have to be that way! You can rewrite your sexual story, heal those sexual wounds you carry, and create an entirely new sexual experience for yourself that's based in love, feels authentic, and full of genuine connection. Today I'm kicking off a series about sex which will help you transform your views on sex, from the inside out. If you want to reach out to me with episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast in general, or just to say hi, yo

How stressed out do you feel right now? Have you dealt with stress earlier today or this week? We all experience stress, it's part of life. But not everybody relates to stress in the same way. You have your own go-to methods for dealing with your stress, and some are more effective than others. Years ago it became a personal mission of mine to get on top of my stress and anxiety, and learn how to deal with it in more healthy ways. Drinking, smoking and pornography were not leading me down the path I wanted, and so I sought out other means of relating to the circumstances in my life. In today's episode I'm sharing with you a massive breakthrough I had that led to me looking at stress in a whole new way. The "7 minutes" breakthrough as I like to call it, has helped me get back into my center when life's stressors have knocked me out of alignment. I'm sharing this with you today with the goal of inspiring you to take a harder look at your triggers and the things that stress you out in life, and to seek out true

How do you feel about meditation? What about meditating in the shower?? Meditation and mindfulness are two of the most powerful self care habits available to all of us. If you don't have a meditation or mindfulness practice currently, I highly recommend you start creating one (see my episodes on meditation for simple ways to get started). Over the years I've developed a nice arsenal of self-care tools that I can deploy when I'm feeling stuck, challenged, frustrated or stressed. Meditating while in the shower has been very effective for me over the years as a way to eliminate stress and get back into my "sweet spot". In today's episode I break down what shower meditation is, how I practice it, and walk you through steps to trying it our for yourself. If you want to reach out to me with episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast in general, or just to say hi, you can do so in two ways: Email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens Learn more about your ad choices. Vis

Do you enjoy pain? Most people don't, and it makes sense. Pain hurts. Pain is uncomfortable. Pain isn't something that a sane person wants to run towards. Yet, what if I told you that pain was inevitable....that whether you chose to step up, stay put or step back, pain would be present. Would that change the choices you made? In today's episode I share with you the illusion of pain, and how we trap ourselves believing that we are avoiding pain.  A quote from the psychiatrist R.D. Laing sums it up nicely: “Pain in this life is not avoidable, but the pain we create avoiding pain is avoidable.” If you want to reach out to me with episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast in general, or just to say hi, you can do so in two ways: Email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Where are you not feeling fully expressed? Self expression is one of the most important aspects of Having It All. Allowing yourself to be, do and say what is real and true for you is as important as breathing. However, it's a habit that can easily be overlooked and brushed aside.  In today's episode I break down the importance of feeling fully expressed, the consequences of not living a life of authenticity, and how you can start expressing yourself more and more in your everyday life.  Buckle in because you will feel inspired to take action after listening to this episode! If you want to reach out to me with episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast in general, or just to say hi, you can do so in two ways: Email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does "self love" really mean? Self love conversations are ubiquitous these days. Everyone's talking about. But beyond "positive self affirmations" and "choosing healthy foods" do we really know what self love means? Do we understand what the essence of self love is and how certain activities that we do, many times without thinking, are undermining all of the surface level self love work we put so much effort into? In this episode I'm going to give you a completely new way to look at self love. It's not another thing for you to do, but a lens through which to look at all of your self love activities.  This was a fun episode for me because I recorded the entire thing while I was walking to the movies. Sarah was out of town with the car for the weekend, and when I wanted to go catch a movie it meant I was walking. During my walk I was observing how taking myself to movies was an act of self love, and the idea for this episode was born. Once you listen, I'd love to hear your thoughts, comments, and feedback