Delight Your Marriage

Wives: As a wife who was bewildered by his desire and feeling grossed out by it, I get it! But more than that... my hangups included, it's dirty, wrong, sinful, perverted, from the pornos, etc etc etc. But he kept caring about this. And he wasn't the only one. And now I hear from husbands all the time about how important this is to them.  And these guys aren't jerks, pigs, or abusers.  They're God-honoring gentlemen, who love their wives, they're good fathers and they want to enjoy their lives and their marriage and LOVE HER THE WAY SHE FEELS LOVED TOO! -- Husbands: On this episode I have some practical (VERY ehemmm practical) tips for you. This can be something for you guys in your marriage even if you've been married many years! If you're tempted to ask your wife to listen to this... consider for a bit. Will it make her feel forced?  Instead, I want to invite you to my live, free webinar series coming up! This is an awesome opportunity to get your wife introduced to my work. It'll have intimacy sprinkled in

Oh man! You're going to get a lot out of this one. Larry Shushansky (from https://www.independentenough.com/) has 40 years of experience as a psychotherapist. We dig into what conflict is, why it happens and how to deal with it. But also that it is GOOD for your marriage. However, MOST couples do conflict WRONG---thus it's BAD for theirs. Don't let yours be in this category! He has been featured on: Psychology Today, Fast Company, Chicago Tribune, The Huffington Post to name a few... and it shows! Some things may SURPRISE you. How could conflict be good? How do you MAKE conflict good? What does it mean to be independent but also dependent in your marriage? Aren't you supposed to be vulnerable with your spouse? So, why would you also be independent? Is there some kind of manipulation here? My hope is it will challenge you to think way differently about conflict and your connectedness with your spouse.  Oh, and Larry and I have a conflict about something. I think you'll be really interested to hear! Neither o

If you’ve listened for a while you may be at a spot where you’re really hoping your spouse would tune into the content.  Especially if you’re a husband there is a way that may be really effective around the holiday.  “Honey, for my Christmas present would you [read this book, watch this video training with me...]?” I have seen this be an effective way to encourage your spouse towards listening and recievubg some of this content that isn’t always the easiest to invite her to listen to or read.  If you’d like to sign up for the free, limited offered 3-part video series go to www.delightyourmarriage.com/video If you’d like to read my book Delight Your Husband: The Christian Wife’s manual to confidence, passion and oral sex, you can find it onAmazon in ebook or paper book. I’m working on the audiobook so that’ll be available soon! God bless you this Christmas season! Belah

The new year is just about upon us! But how are you prepping for it? How are you making sure you're growing in the ways God wants you to? In this podcast, I invite you to think about the ways God may be asking you to reflect on the year you've had. I encourage you to have a pen and paper handy so you can jot down what comes up for you.  Why is this a difficult task? I discuss the 3 reasons people don't reflect, but then the way it's vitally important if we're going to be the people God wants us to become.  Don't go through a difficult season and NOT learn the lessons He wants you to. You'll just be doomed to repeat that same sad, painful situation.  But when you reflect effectively, it gives you hope, peace and faith that God is going to guide you in the next season as well.  When you go through this exercise you'll be able to know how you should focus for the new year. I encourage you to spend the time before the new year focusing on what He wants you to.  With that in mind, I'll be taking 3 weeks off from t

It's that time of year. Happiness and fun and joy is expected.  Is it reality for you?  Do you have joy in your heart?  CAN you have it?  I want to talk about this because the holidays can be extremely difficult. And I want to invite you to think about the things you can do even today that will change your perspectives.  How do you make your life aligned with your deepest values and highest vision? I speak specifically about tools that will help you get there. If you'd like the Prioritize Your Life chart I talk about you can email me at belah at delightyourmarriage.com If you'd like to listen to an extremely inspiring story of marriage and love, check out this podcast with Joni Eareckson Tada - When Disability Challenges Your Marriage  I'd love to have you on my 3-part Video Training that will be up for a limited time: The 3 Keys To Seductive Confidence Happy Thanksgiving!   PS Don't forget to sign up for the video training! The 3 Keys To Seductive Confidence

I’ve been asking women about hope they feel about seduction because 1-that’s what I hear so often from the husbands I coach. They crave to be seduced by their wives. 2-that’s what I hear so often from wives...  I’m not comfortable. I don’t know what to do. Is God even OK with it?  We have been married for so many years, how do I start?  How do I get over feeling silly?   I want to encourage you. Because the third reason I wanted to record this is because this is how I have felt MANY times over.    It’s only since I’ve understood where my husband is coming from that I began to prioritize this. And when I started to see the holiness and God’s approval of more fierce intimacy did I seek to walk in this with confidence. I want to give you encouragement in this podcast. And I want to give you practical tools.   You can get that from my favorite 5 tips: www.delightyourmarriage.com/5tips then when the email gets to you, respond to me with “I want in” and you’ll get on the list to receive my 3-part video training

We argued yesterday. Knives were involved. Well truthfully, it was a disagreement at a restaurant. But the actual emotions happened way before the restaurant. My husband is on the show again (back by popular demand!) to tell how he was feeling and what he did and why.   Why is this important for your intimacy? A wife wants to make love to a man she feels safe with. If you're arguing in a way that makes her feel unsafe, then you're repelling her from the very thing you crave.   I want to share this podcast because I think we have HORRIBLE examples of marital conflict. We take our cues from movies, dramas, chick flicks and sitcoms. All of which have very unhealthy and hurtful aspects.   I want to give you a vision of a REALLY GOOD conflict. One where each of us weren't "perfect". But each of us allowed our value of intimacy, connection and love to be higher than our emotions and impulses.   I hope this gives you encouragement and inspiration in your next emotional challenge between the two of you. There's anoth

Your first time having sex, was it just like my experience? A bit awkward, NOT like how the movies portrayed it, and maybe even a BIT uncomfortable?   So now that you've done it a lot more, I bet what was uncomfortable in the beginning has started to feel a lot more comfortable, right? So, would you like to ENJOY it more?   Have you ever asked yourself these questions: Should I initiate?  Should I just go for it and stretch myself and seduce him? Is it okay for me to suddenly change and just go ahead and seduce him and be sexy?   Here's what I talk about in this podcast episode: How to enjoy the process of seduction and lovemaking more Why it's okay to be silly before being sexy What EXACTLY you need to do (practical tips and more!)   A lot of people say that DATING SEX is BETTER than MARRIAGE SEX. Well, that is what Delight Your Marriage wants to change.  It is our mission and we want to change it so that marriage sex is hotter, more enjoyable, and the best sex that anyone will ever have!    Absolutely N

I used to think "if I just got thin enough then I'd be confident." But, then I did. And I didn't.  Our society tricks us into thinking beauty is only a certain thing. But God made us beautiful. And when you don't love your body your chances of loving sex is far lower.  On this episode I want to help you see more clearly and not have the inappropriate expectations of yourself that is inhibiting your joy and passion in sex.  I also have some help for husbands on how to help their wives in this area.  I used to be bulimic when I met my husband. He has loved me through lots of different shapes of my body and I gotta tell you, that kind of love encourages a wife to be sexually free and pleasured. I answer: How can you feel more confident in your body Why the negativity is stealing your sex drive How you can conquer the inner critic The balance between loving your body and being healthy What the FIRST step is to getting there If you'd like more specific tips on how to seduce, here's a FREE resource for you: The 5

For the free resources The 9 Lies Undermining Your Sex Drive audio & pdf go to: www.delightyourmarriage.com/desire   Do you have low drive? Discover the blocks that may be holding you back from a stronger desire for your husband! 

There are so many amazing topics for this week's podcast, I'm not sure which ones should I write here! Marie and I talk more in depth about her relationship with God and her relationship with her husband.   These are just some of the things we talk about: what life with a husband who is a sociopath looks like -- and no, it's not what you may think! the defining features of a sociopath and how they got a "psychological miracle" how her husband tried to kill his father and landed in jail her husband was a devout atheist until he started reading the Bible and now millions watch his Apologetics debates defending Cheistianity Marie was back to being a Christian after reading an Apologetics book how their complete honesty helped solidify their relationship how reading the Bible helps David in his daily life   Other topics that we talk about how sex should be treated as a spiritual bond and not just as a physical bonding between married couples how there's no aspect of YOUR story cannot be touched by God's grace

I had a wonderful and extremely inspiring chat with Marie Wood, who is raising 5 children (a basketball team, according to her!) with her husband, David Wood--the very famous Apologist. Two of their sons, Reid and Paley, both have a rare, life-threatening condition called myotubular myopathy. It’s so rare that it only affects 1 in 50,000 male live births. It causes problems with muscle tone and dangerously affects muscles that control necessary functions like breathing and swallowing. In this interview, I was moved to tears more than once because of the story of Marie and her children. She is an incredible woman who clearly loves the Lord and is such a force for good even in the face of suffering.  I know if you listen to this conversation you’ll come away in awe that our God can even raise the dead in this day and age! I’m amazed and I pray this will be an empowering and affirming message for you as well. Marie serves as vice president for a non-profit organization to connect people affected by myotubular my

Hi there! This is part 2 of my chat with Ruth Buezis, author of Awaken Love. You can listen to part 1 here. If you loved listening to part 1, part 2 delves deeper into the specifics of lovemaking and Ruth and I's thoughts about the different types of orgasm that women would love to experience.    Other things we talk about: Just having sex vs. getting to know each other through sex The dynamics of who leads during intercourse The in and out movement for a man, it's good for him. But how about the woman? The three ways women can have orgasms What does the Bible say about sex Is the intercourse you're having with your spouse the kind of intercourse that leads to orgasm? The clitoral alignment technique: what is it exactly? Some helpful things for the wives: What you can do to allow you to discover new and interesting feelings during intercourse The journey you can take to learn more about the orgasms you can experience Understanding new concepts and ideas that are related to orgasms G-spot vs clitoral orgasm

I'm so excited to chat with Ruth Buezis (author of Awaken Love) about how to transform your sex life  into something much deeper.    Ruth started out her journey by talking about sex to 8 of her closest friends! Word spread and she's now sharing her journey to hundreds of women who used to be in the same boat as she was.    We talk about Christian couples and the usual questions we get from them: -How do I help my wife orgasm? -How do I orgasm during intercourse (from wives)? -How long should I last (from husbands)? -What EXACTLY should I do (from both!)?   And as Ruth says, men can get so caught up in the mechanics -- but there is so much more to sex than just mechanics!   What are the things that husbands and wives can do DURING and AFTER intercourse instead of feeling pressured and worried?   There are actually SO MANY things couples can do to help remove the pressure!   Whether or not there's orgasm during intercourse, there are lots of things that CAN be done so it's always mutually enjoyable during inte

How do you become MORE attractive to your wife?    What exactly do I mean when I say "attraction"?    Well, it's kind of like having a pull towards yourself. Whatever it is that you're doing, it's going to pull her and cause her to desire you. When you're attractive to her, she'll also have a physical desire towards you.   What can you do as a spouse to cause her to be interested again? To be FULLY in the marriage again?   My theory? Attraction works outside of marriage like this:  You are a whole human being with your own passions and desires and she starts being drawn to your power and confidence. Slowly, through time, you BOTH start to fall in love.    It's simple: Chemistry (natural attraction) + spending time with each other = being attracted to someone   We'll be attracted to different types of people our whole lives. It's up to us as married people to not spend time with others.    So how do you become the whole man that you want to be? By desperately seeking her love? By wishing to spend more time wi

  Over the years listeners have asked for my book Delight Your Husband: The Christian wife’s manual to passion, confidence, and oral sex, to be available on paperback. It is now available!   And if you get the book, read, and review on Amazon, you can have access to a $97 Masterclass for free!   The Masterclass will be September 15, 2019! When you do those three things go ahead and email faith@delightyourmarriage.com And you’ll be on the list! Thank you so so much!

Does sex feel like a duty?   When he asks to make love, I believe that he's actually doing a really brave thing. He could be afraid of rejection and is actually insecure about it.  What if you have the opportunity to bring out your husband's generosity by being compassionate about his sexuality? As a side: Dear husbands, If you want your wife to work with me, I encourage you to take the first step in transforming your marriage. By doing this, she'll be receptive to transforming herself as well.  Wives, I want you to know that if your opinion of sex is that it's a chore or a duty, it’s probably hurting your spouse's feelings. AND sex has to start with having an open heart and a good perspective. Otherwise it doesn’t feel like making love, it feels like you value it as much as washing the dishes. What if you can go to a place of: Joy, fun and excitement To the point that you physically crave sex I want you to get there. Listen in for encouragement and new perspectives and tools to make love rather than do

First and foremost, I'm so glad you're planning for sex. Many people let this HIGH priority slip away from their marriage. And they wonder why their marriage turns into a disaster.   I am GRATEFUL if you are one who puts it on your calendar--it means you DO prioritize it!   So, I'm now encouraging you to go the next step and make it sexy. So often I hear from husbands that they make love the exact same way every single time they make love. And "it's even on the calendar!"   Well, 1st- the good news is you're making love (!!) and 2nd- ladies, we can plan sex (just not let him in on it!) ;) Listen in for inspiring ideas on how and why to spice things up and how you can plan sex without making him feel like a To Do List item! Aka...plan it sexily!   How EXACTLY do other people even plan for sex? Planning for sex can look different for many people: You can plan for sex in other physical aspects (If you're too full from dinner, you might be too sleepy for sex!)   You can plan for sex emotionally  (are you emot