Delight Your Marriage

Does sex feel like a duty?   When he asks to make love, I believe that he's actually doing a really brave thing. He could be afraid of rejection and is actually insecure about it.  What if you have the opportunity to bring out your husband's generosity by being compassionate about his sexuality? As a side: Dear husbands, If you want your wife to work with me, I encourage you to take the first step in transforming your marriage. By doing this, she'll be receptive to transforming herself as well.  Wives, I want you to know that if your opinion of sex is that it's a chore or a duty, it’s probably hurting your spouse's feelings. AND sex has to start with having an open heart and a good perspective. Otherwise it doesn’t feel like making love, it feels like you value it as much as washing the dishes. What if you can go to a place of: Joy, fun and excitement To the point that you physically crave sex I want you to get there. Listen in for encouragement and new perspectives and tools to make love rather than do

First and foremost, I'm so glad you're planning for sex. Many people let this HIGH priority slip away from their marriage. And they wonder why their marriage turns into a disaster.   I am GRATEFUL if you are one who puts it on your calendar--it means you DO prioritize it!   So, I'm now encouraging you to go the next step and make it sexy. So often I hear from husbands that they make love the exact same way every single time they make love. And "it's even on the calendar!"   Well, 1st- the good news is you're making love (!!) and 2nd- ladies, we can plan sex (just not let him in on it!) ;) Listen in for inspiring ideas on how and why to spice things up and how you can plan sex without making him feel like a To Do List item! Aka...plan it sexily!   How EXACTLY do other people even plan for sex? Planning for sex can look different for many people: You can plan for sex in other physical aspects (If you're too full from dinner, you might be too sleepy for sex!)   You can plan for sex emotionally  (are you emot

What does it mean and WHY would you actually do it? What if it’s COMPLETELY outside of your personality? What to actually do? (Steamy examples!) --- Before we dive in… I run a men's course called Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy and love being married again.   It's a program which helps you understand how to be an amazing husband so your wife wants to do this kind of stuff. It dramatically transforms  marriages.    I work with men in this program and interview their wives who started out rating their intimacy as a 3 out of 10 and then they move to a 7 out of 10 or from a 5 out of 10 to a 9 out of 10!  ---   ALL-DAY seduction is:  not normal for me I don't wake up thinking I want to be someone who likes playful touching throughout the day I thought it was sinful. “Why think about sex the whole day???” was my question. Well, now I’ve changed my tune. Here’s why…   The reason I do this work: I love families I love what children have when it's a safe, loving family The desire for in

Good Morning--- I wanted to say a prayer for you. And let you know that whatever situation you're facing He is with you. He is right there beside you.  He says: 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matt 11:28-30 (NIV)   God is with you in this situation. Jesus loves you and wants to take your burdens. Love you and praying for you.    Love,  Belah

Do you wish YOU were into sex more?   A lot of things are not mentioned in the Bible: Electricity Vehicles Importance of exercise Internet So much of our daily life is not spoken about in the Bible! And yet we have no problem doing it, every day. In fact, we’d say it was good, though not mentioned in the Bible.    So, why don’t we have the same view of sex?    Art isn’t mentioned in the Bible but some like painting, some like sculpture, others like charcoal. As with art, if your spouse would like more variety, that's okay! If your spouse would like more frequent intimacy, that’s okay!   God can help you with all of this. He can help you physically crave sex. He can help you want to meet your husband’s particular desire for that particular style of “art”. God cares about being a part of your life --- and your sex life! In a marriage, a man and a woman are free to want to make love with one another.    Resources: If you're interested about the women's program to be truly free in the areas of VARIETY, CRAVING

This is our (my husband and I) final conversation about being easygoing, playful and fun together.  It's a bit of insight into our relationship and we believe it'll give you some inspiration into where your marriage can go.    I go through the final keys to making your marriage peaceful and walking through life in a state of calm, rather than rushing in a state of stress.  A couple of things you'd be interested to hear... how (and why) my husband responds when he's watching a game (live) and he sees I'm upset. From him. why receiving an apology graciously is just as important as making one. when you're more vulnerable, the spouse will be too! someone called me the "calmest person I've ever met". I was grateful (and shocked), but this conversation may give a bit of insight into why.   ---   If you'd like to get my newly released on paperback Delight Your Husband: The Christian wife's manual to passion, confidence and oral sex, go here! If you purchase and then review on Amazon before Sept 1, 2019, you'll rec

My darling husband and I continue our chat about becoming easygoing and why it's important to develop this skill. And how it can impact even their relationship with Jesus. We have some playful convo but also some serious and important things to say. My husband" derails" my 15-point plan ;) with a very insightful and emotional commentary that you won't want to miss!  This is Part 2 of 3.   If you'd like to revolutionize your marriage and your intimacy I want to invite you onto a Clarity Call. This is an opportunity for you to speak directly with me Belah Rose and uncover what is blocking you from the playful, peaceful and purposeful marriage you crave. Sign up now as I have limited availability: www.dym.as.me

I think this has been something I've wondered and I know the wives I've worked with have thought their husbands were. Maybe you're a husband and you're concerned that you might be too? Maybe you're a wife and think your husband is. I mean there's a lot less scriptures about sex in the bible than there are about other things right?    Well...Have you heard all the scriptures about golf? And yet, people spend a lot of time golfing. Or playing football. Or doing make up or hair or clothes. Or horsebackriding... And yet, we spend a lot of time and energy on our specific hobbies.   Yet the Bible does have A LOT to say about sex. The wrong type of sex and how to fill that desire. I want to walk you through scriptures and my own insights over the years, that I hope you God would give you a lot of freedom through this podcast and you wouldn't feel the concern but you would align your heart with the way God views and wants you to view sex with your spouse.    I'd LOVE to have you on my LIVE webinar this coming Sunday

"I can't go on like this" "I don't think we can make this work"  "I'm at the end of my rope" (what I hear the MOST) I hate these phrases. They're not literal, and they mean this person is in severe pain. I am sad about that. I am sad that you're in such heartache. I'm sorry that you feel so alone, frustrated, discouraged and desperate.  But I want you to have hope. I want you to have FAITH for your marriage.  Ephesians 6:12 "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."   If you've been fighting with your spouse... there's stuff you can do. God hates divorce not because He's waiting for you to mess up and wants you to be miserable and live in suffering... but because divorce shreds hearts--what God has joined together--that which has become ONE FLESH. What that disconnects it truly shreds humans, families, children.   I love working with people who are on

Is easygoing a personality trait or a skill? I am definitely NOT a natural "easy-goer". Most of my life, I have generally had an opinion and if asked I could find one pretty quickly. I generally have had a schedule and way in which I'd like things done. And I'm extremely goal-oriented and don't have a lot of patience for those who aren't. Well, those can be super qualities for productivity and work, they're not necessarily the best for marriage. We've gone through a path. I've learned a lot.  And here he and I chat about my journey into the skill of "easygoing" and my conviction that if we want the peace God wants us to walk in, we have to seek to develop this skill as well.    -- If you're craving intimacy in your marriage--if you're a man or a woman--I want to help you! God has designed marriage and I believe SEX SHOULD BE BETTER IN MARRIAGE. The foundation of our marriage is God, emotional intimacy and physical intimacy. Each are vital for you to do God's work fueled out of the love cultivated in your marr

Sexless + Controlling = miserable husband Sex-Full + Controlling = miserable husband Sexless + Non Controlling = miserable husband   Sadly, sexless or controlling or both are the biggest problems I see. And this is what I hear from husbands that are desperate for change. I want to help you!   JFYI My husband said this is one of the best podcasts ever---he has only said that 1 other time (!) so I hope this is one that is helpful for you.   I talk about foundational truths about men and women that I don't hear people shouting from the rooftops---but they should be! Learn how to strategically change what is going on in your marriage!   Sadly, sexless or controlling or both are the biggest problems I see. And this is what I hear from husbands that I work with. I want to help you!   1) Come on my free webinar TOMORROW, Friday, May 24, 2019 at 7:30pm EST: The 7 Blocks to Her Libido: Remove these for generous intimacy in your marriage Sign up www.delightyourmarriage.com/7blocks   ---- 2) I used to be a CONTROLLING w

Yep... MY husband said this! Like last week.   What did he mean? Maybe you're a wife that has insecurities like me? After a wonderfully intimate evening, I came clean about something I had been struggling with for a while. He was able to give ear to my heart and hear that I was feeling pain that I wasn't even aware I was hiding from him.   Various husbands have expressed confusion as to why a wife wouldn't want him looking at others while at the SAME TIME she's hiding her curves he LONGS to see!   As a wife, I get it and I stumble in this way too. If I am not vigilant I can fall just like the enemy wants us all to. I think it's sin because we're separating ourselves from God and what He wants us to do... (Quite literally) our husbands. :)   Maybe you're a husband who doesn't "get it". I have some important insights for you too!   Further... I'm EXTREMELY excited to invite you on a LIVE Webinar with me coming up!    On Fri, May 24 & Sun, June 2, 7:30pm EST I'll be hosting a LIVE FREE WEBINAR:  WHAT'S BLOC

Do you want unity in your marriage? Do you want her to feel safe to be utterly vulnerable and literally naked before you? Then it is NOT helpful for her to know your past sex life.  You probably have forgotten plenty of your past, but once you've told her it will stay with her for years--even decades. Whatever sexual sin you've had before (or even the porn you've done while) is sin. It's your job as a man to discipline your mind, and your actions to be faithful to her. But if you're making her your "accountability partner" it's like saying: "honey, I'm trying not to look at other women, imagine them naked and pretend having sex with them". That will hurt her. Get your act together sir, get to a church, get vulnerable with someone--don't do this in isolation but don't load your dirty laundry on her. Because this will make it HARDER for her to make love (and of course that's what would actually HELP you avoid the temptations anyway). So, whether you think you're just "being honest" you do not need to be unwise

I have been late to get a podcast out to you...for a pretty important reason. My brother was found on the side of the road without a pulse. I raced to the hospital several states away and arrived when the doctors told us he may be brain dead---we found out they were considering putting him on life-support. No one knew how long he was there without blood pumping through his body.    But God. My family reached out to loved ones, Christians, churches, friends, friends of friends all asking for prayer in faith for healing. Standing on the word--by His stripes we are healed, the prayer of faith shall heal you, lay hands on the sick and they shall recover... Standing on His promises of Jesus' healing. All asking for God's miraculous intervention.   The story of Lazarus came up OVER and OVER again--my sister was in a play, her paster and my pastor in different states preached on it, a Lazarus song came up 2x, and 2 dreams about Lazarus. We prayed that my brother would be raised like Lazarus.   It's pretty incredible

What if you're a wife that has WAY lower libido than your husband? If you feel like this is just physiologically the way you were made, I want to help. I think there's a lot more to you and the way you're set up sexually. I, Belah Rose, "the sexpert", can easily say I have a low libido. Does that keep me and my husband from having an incredible sex life? Fierce, firey, sensual, spiritual... And I get turned on too and get excited about making love! So... I don't think your libido/"natural" sex drive has to prevent you either! Listen in to find out the top 3 things you need to know if you have a LOW sex drive. And how to turn that around. How I did and do. But what if HE is the one with the low sex drive? Ouch! So sorry, I know that's so hard! There are several important questions you need to be asking. I help you to sort through what could be the real source of the issues and how to overcome them. Are you contributing to the issue or COULD be contributing to live the solution? -- What’s a Clarity Call: You ca

My husband is a very wise man. Probably the wisest I've met (and I get to live with him! :) :) :) )   Listeners have asked to hear from my husband and I'm glad because he has a lot of wonderful & helpful things to share! I think his message has nuggets that any and every marriage will benefit from!   -- If you're a husband... I'm about to pilot a brand new program:   Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy and love being married again!   I have SO many men--may be like yourself--whose wives wouldn’t dream of hearing my work or considering changing their behavior or even understanding those needs.    By Gods grace, I understand men AND women and this would be the program to bridge the gap for MEN to understand their wives and motivate her to WANT sex rather than REPEL her FROM it (as unfortunately, most of them are :( ).     It would be an all-male group coaching with me. This would allow men to share their situations and I would advise on the female perspective and give teachings (all t

Productiveness IS  good, but we forget that we're not just human doers -- we're also human beings. Take the story of Martha and Mary. Martha was working hard and being productive FOR JESUS. Mary was calmly sitting, being still and LISTENING TO JESUS. Both were Godly women. And Jesus even defended Mary for “choosing the good part” when Martha accused her of not DOING. Consider how Jesus modeled JOY and DELIGHT --  not just productivity. He certainly “did” a lot, but he also had breakfast with his friends, ate dinner and drank wine (sometimes he was even accused of being a drunkard!) and little children ran to him. He must have been pretty enjoyable to be around if even little children want to run up to the revered Rabbi.   If you are ALWAYS thinking that "God wants me to be productive. I need to do this and that..." then I challenge you to sit back, listen to Him, and just take delight in His presence.   We can also apply this to our sex lives. What if sex was fun and filled you up? And it's not just about sex

Words are important. They can cause a wildfire or a passionate flame in your bedroom.   Outside of the bedroom: We can be hurtful and careless with our words and say “Oh he’s my husband”. Does that sound familiar? But is he really JUST your husband? That is God’s son you’re dealing with.   If you want to get your words in line with God’s will, one of the first things that needs to be done is to APOLOGIZE. Just get it out of the way. It’s hard, especially if it’s not part of the culture of your marriage. But it’ll get easier the more you do it!   When words are on purpose, intentional, and aligned with what God wants your husband to hear, then it’s easy to truly become ONE FLESH. Generous lovemaking becomes more natural to both of you.   Now onto the SEXY STUFF: What CAN you say in sex? Is God okay with you saying seductive phrases to your husband? Could God even WANT you both to use your words to turn each other on? What is going to encourage the bond between you and your husband? If he's aroused and y

A lot of women are under the impression that they need to share everything with their husbands. In fact, they say this is being “honest”. I disagree. In EVERY marriage (yes, even VERY good ones), there are many things that are not (and should not) be shared. No one needs to share about tons of bathroom stuff---yuck, not sexy. But there are tons of other things that just wouldn’t be useful, helpful, godly, respectful, kind or many other reasons to share. AND it depends on what level of the Marriage Health Spectrum your marriage is to determine what you SHOULD or SHOULD NOT share. If your marriage is awful right now, you shouldn't SHARE what someone who has an awesome marriage can share. You have to be strategic with what you do and do not share. SO that it can BECOME an awesome marriage.   Find out... Where your marriage is on the Marriage Health Spectrum Considering that, does he--your husband--deserve “your heart”? How can you still be the faithful, generous wife AND guard your heart? HOW to respond to

As a mother, you would do ANYTHING for your children. What does that have to do with making love to their father? Well, A LOT. In fact, their eternity is at stake. Really. Your marriage teaches your kids to treat others, adults and themselves. Your marriage teaches them what a healthy relationship/marriage looks like and that they want one. Your marriage shows them that a relationship with Jesus is fun and worth picking the right spouse and waiting for it! Your marriage shows them what character means. Your sex life is foundational to all of this... Your husband can be an incredible dad He can be focused on his family not the temptations of the world Other things covered: How sex satiety and desire for sex occurs in opposite ways for women and men Why your children need to be well-liked by adults (and that's your job)  World-renowned psychologist mentioned: Jordan B. Peterson When you're a whole woman, totally emotionally held and loved in your marriage you have a far greater capacity to be a present,