Synopsis
Torture Cinema is a comedic bad movie review podcast. In each episode, we take our unabashedly geeky and absurd sense of humor and turn it against some of the worst science fiction, fantasy, and horror movies ever produced. Each movie is selected by our sadistic listeners from an ever-growing list of terrible films. Torture Cinema is part of The Skiffy and Fanty Show podcast network. If you want to find out more about us and our other shows, go to skiffyandfanty.com.
Episodes
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374. Wild Wild West (1999) — Torture Cinema #100 (Pandemic Special)
07/04/2020 Duration: 01h01minGiant mechanical spiders, male boob grabbing, and nice trains, oh my! Shaun Duke, Paul Weimer, and Alex Acks join forces for this special Pandemic Edition of Torture Cinema. Together, they tackle the infamous 1990s blunder, Wild Wild West, explore through a drunken stupor the film’s approach to characterization, history, Western tropes, race, gender, and disability. This […]
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373. Voyage of the Rock Aliens (1984) — Torture Cinema #99
30/03/2020 Duration: 01h09minUbiquitous tentacles, wholesome content, and riding his rainbow in the sky! Shaun Duke and Jen Zink break all the rules we arbitrarily set for Torture Cinema to discuss a film so beautiful and so bonkers bananapants that it might have fixed the 80s all on its own if it had only been popular enough! Together, they […]
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369. The VelociPastor (2018) — Torture Cinema #98
09/03/2020 Duration: 55minChinese ninjas drug dealers, questionable costumes, and premed / law prostitutes, oh my! Shaun Duke, Jen Zink, and Paul Weimer are back on the Torture Cinema horse with a deliciously stupid Patreon-selected mashup: The VelociPastor. We tackle the film’s questionable production history, its various odd narrative decisions, what it means to film three different countries in […]
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Torture Cinema #97: Santa with Muscles (1996) — The Holiday Special
01/01/2020 Duration: 01h22minExploding gems, racist wrestlers, and orphans, oh my! In this very special (and totally late) holiday edition of Torture Cinema, Shaun, Julia, Alex, and Jen tackle a truly horrifyingly bad Christmas movie, Santa with Muscles. From Hulk Hogan’s questionable acting skills to the nonsensical plot, the odd connections to famous actors and popular TV shows, and […]
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Torture Cinema #96: Transylvania 6-5000 (1985)
03/12/2019 Duration: 57minQuestionable journalists, questionable comedy, and questionable geography, oh my! Shaun Duke, Alex Acks, Jen Zink, and Trish Matson wander into an unsuspecting Eastern European town to discuss the 1985 “comedy,” Transylvania 6-5000. With their magic judge hats on, the crew tackles the film’s approach to comedy, the absurdity of its monster-centric premise, twist endings, hairy […]
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Torture Cinema #95: Children of the Corn (1984)(Belated Halloween)
07/11/2019 Duration: 01h10minCreepy cult children, confusingly animated monsters, and Korn, oh my! Shaun Duke, Alex Acks, and David Annandale meet in the corn fields to discuss 1984 adaptation of Stephen King’s Children of the Corn. They discuss the film’s bizarre plot structure, what it’s like to be murdered by creepy cult children, the wonders of corn demons, terrible […]
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Torture Cinema #94: Stan Helsing (2009)
04/10/2019 Duration: 01h04sDirty mice, invisible plots, and Leslie Nielsen, oh my! Shaun Duke, Alex Acks, and Paul Weimer throw themselves on Freddy’s clawed hand to discuss Stan Helsing, a movie made by drunk people to torture the dead. Together, they discuss the film’s approach to humor, its nonsensical plot, why Leslie Nielsen is in this movie, and all […]
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Torture Cinema #93: Next (2007) at Worldcon in Dublin (w/ Linnea)
02/09/2019 Duration: 01h15minGreasy chest hair, lasting 2 minutes, and animal abuse, oh my! Recorded (sorta last minute) in a hotel room in Dublin, Ireland, this special edition features Shaun Duke, Alex Acks, Julia Rios, Jen Zink, Brandon O’Brien, and special guest / friend of the show, Linnea! Together, our intrepid crew tackles yet another Nicolas Cage debacle, Next, […]
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Torture Cinema #92: Starcrash (1978/79)
31/07/2019 Duration: 59minThe Hass, chauvinist robots, and Italians, oh my! In a Torture Cinema podcast that meanders almost as much as the movie, Shaun Duke, Jen Zink, and Trish Matson get together to discuss this month’s Patreon selection, Starcrash! Not only do the team discuss everything from the truly awful logic to the surprising inclusion of an… […]
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Torture Cinema #91: Damnation Alley (1977)
24/06/2019 Duration: 01h07minBoat cars, “Killa Cockaroaches”, and cannibals, oh my! Much to Jen’s chagrin, in her absence the team, Shaun Duke, Paul Weimer, and Alex Acks, discover a lot to criticize in the 1977 film adaption of a Roger Zelazny book, Damnation Alley! Jen likes to think they only criticize it because they just wanted it to […]
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Torture Cinema #90: Kull the Conqueror (1997)
27/05/2019 Duration: 01h03minApe men, nicked bits, and shirtless Sorbo, oh my! Shaun, Stephen, and Daniel join forces to fulfill their dudetastic Torture Cinema destiny by discussing 1997’s Kull the Conqueror (starring Hercules). They discuss the history behind the film, why it fails miserably at just about everything (action, romance, adventure, carefully crafted plots), and what it’s like to […]
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Torture Cinema #89: The Satanic Rites of Dracula (1973)
30/04/2019 Duration: 01h22minCanadian Geese, foot fetishes, and vest clones, oh my! Shaun, Jen, David, and Trang, in her first ever Skiffy and Fanty Podcast appearance, discuss the 1973 Hammer Film Productions classic(?), The Satanic Rites of Dracula! The last time that Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee would reprise their roles as Van Helsing and Dracula together. Thankfully, […]
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Torture Cinema #88: Super Inframan (1975)
25/03/2019 Duration: 57minSuperman 4, motorcycle gangs, and *eye twitch* tentacle monsters, oh my! This episode exists thanks to the hardwork and determination of our lovely patron, Joseph. Thank you, Joseph, for repeatedly insisting that we watch the 1975 film, Super Inframan!! This Shaw Brothers Studio Production sought to capitalize on the tokusatsu craze in Japan, borrowing tropes, […]
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Torture Cinema #87: Xanadu (1980)
25/02/2019 Duration: 45minPink bodysuits, the bisexual 80s, and legs that go on forever, oh my! Today on Torture Cinema, Paul, Alex, and Daniel review the (not so) particularly beloved 1980s fantasy musical, Xanadu! The film also has the distinction of being Gene Kelly’s last picture, so nobody can be too mad at it. If you love camp […]
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Torture Cinema #86: A Special Holiday Torture Cinema Adventure – The Christmas Dragon (2014)
24/12/2018 Duration: 01h03minDarkspawn, shiny noses, and a new sex term, oh my! This one is DEFINITELY NSFW folks! Somehow the team, comprised of Shaun, Jen, Paul, and Becca, managed to turn this family friendly film into a total raunch fest. Proceed with caution. You have been warned! As with every Holiday Special, the crew brings a heavy […]
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Torture Cinema #85: Blade: Trinity (2004)
27/11/2018 Duration: 01h45sHappy trails, Office Building Prime, and proto-Katniss, oh my! So, you know how the first Blade movie was actually kind of awesome and we all went crazy for the killer daywalker with a badass cloak, giant fangs, and the most country sidekick this side of the Mississippi? Well, if you do, we implore you not […]
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Torture Cinema #84: Leprechaun in the Hood (2000) — Happy Halloween w/ Tonia Thompson
31/10/2018 Duration: 52minAfros, magic “flutes,” and tokenism, oh my! Happy Halloween, everyone! Shaun, Jen, and Teri consulted with Tonia Thompson to select movies appropriate for a Halloween special during Black Speculative Fiction Month and she has suffered for it. We turn our drunken eyes to Leprechaun in the Hood, a movie that can be best described as everything BAD about […]
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Torture Cinema #83: Atlantis: The Lost Continent (1961)
25/09/2018 Duration: 01h02minCrystal lasers, pig people, and recycled costumes, oh my! In today’s episode of Torture Cinema, Paul, Alex, Daniel, and the prodigal son, Shaun, gather together to make absolutely sure that the destroyed civilization of Atlantis stays destroyed as they review the disastrous George Pal 1961 disaster movie, Atlantis: The Lost Continent. The team discusses everything […]
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Torture Cinema #82: Gallowwalkers (2012)
30/08/2018 Duration: 01h03minLizard tails, Hellraiser, and bad Spanish, oh my! In today’s episode of Torture Cinema, Jen, Paul, and Alex are joined by the wonderful Tonia Thompson, founder of Nightlight Podcast, to talk about a film that should probably be thrown into the nearest hellmouth (except it’s SO PRETTY)! The group covers everything from the terrible script […]
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Torture Cinema #81: Frogs (1972)
30/07/2018 Duration: 01h08minToads, Sam Elliot’s missing mustache, and weaponized Spanish moss, oh my! In today’s hoptastic episode, Alex, Paul, David, and special guest Michael J. Martinez try to drain the swamp of the southern patriarchy as they discuss the 1972 “killer” amphibian classic, Frogs. From leapless pacing, stagnant antagonists, and horribbitless story (all the terror of fluffy […]