Synopsis
The Welkin One Podcast is a spoiler show that shares in the passion of storytelling and filmmaking - whether it be transcendent, godawful or somewhere in between. Episodes are posted every Tuesday in the form of Spoiler Movie Reviews, breaking films down fully from beginning to end. We also have interviews with creatives and will be expanding to cover topics in storytelling from just about anything that can produce a narrative within our universe - including life itself. Click follow, press play and enter the Welkin.
Episodes
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Friday the 13th Part 5: A New Beginning - Movie Review
05/12/2020 Duration: 35minJoin Chris as he analyzes & reviews Friday the 13th Part 5: A New Beginning, the 1985 horror/slasher film sequel, directed by Danny Steinmann & starring Kimberly Beck & Shavar Ross. Still haunted by his past, Tommy Jarvis - who, as a child, killed Jason Voorhees - wonders if the serial killer is connected to a series of brutal murders occurring in and around the secluded halfway house where he now lives. Jason's dead! Can our new killer match up to the hockey mask? Is Corey Feldman back as Tommy Jarvis? Are the kills darkly delicious? How many red herrings can one movie cram in? Does this climax contain one of the greatest plot twists of all-time? Is Chris drunk for the review? Most importantly, is this somehow the best chapter in the series?! SPOILERS BEGIN at 16:56 Watch Friday the 13th Part 5: A New Beginning on Amazon Please support us with a Review on Apple Podcasts Would you like to hear more? Visit our Home
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Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter - Movie Review
22/11/2020 Duration: 32minJoin Chris as he analyzes & reviews Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, the 1984 horror/slasher film sequel, directed by Joseph Zito & starring Corey Feldman, Crispin Glover & Ted White as our final(?) Jason! After being mortally wounded & taken to the morgue, murderer Jason Voorhees spontaneously revives & embarks on a killing spree as he makes his way back to his home at Camp Crystal Lake. It's all led to this! Does Jason go out on top? Does the Felddog prove to be the ultimate foil for our favorite hockey puck? Are the kills better than ever? Does Jason make any sense yet? Is Crispin Glover the best part of the movie? Most importantly, how are there 8 more sequels after this? SPOILERS BEGIN at 15:07 Watch Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter on Amazon Please support us with a Review on Apple Podcasts Would you like to hear more? Visit our Home
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Tremors - Full Movie Commentary
15/07/2020 Duration: 01h48minJoin Chris, Jeff & ViP as they commentate over the cult classic monster movie from 1990, Tremors, directed by Ron Underwood & starring Kevin Bacon & Fred Ward. Natives of a small, isolated town defend themselves against strange underground creatures which are killing them one by one. We're finally talking Graboids! And on our first full movie commentary no less. Does this classic B movie hold up in 2020? Are Val & Earl two of the best characters of their kind? What's Rhonda got on her nose? Is Burt the real hero? Are the Graboids ageist? What's the best kill? Are there enough kills to warrant 4 motherhumpers? Do the Graboids hate spicy food? Can the Cat pull anything? Most importantly, is Melvin the absolute worst? Watch with us & enjoy some of Kevin Bacon's best lines! Our commentary begins at 00:04:21, & we start the movie at it's 00:00:22 mark. Watch Tremors on Amazon (also available on Netflix) Please support us by giving our show a Review on Apple Podcasts Would you like to hear
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It: Chapter Two (Non-Spoiler Preview)
03/09/2019 Duration: 17minJoin Chris as he previews, SPOILER-FREE, It: Chapter Two, the 2019 horror movie sequel, directed by Andy Muschietti, & starring Bill Skarsgard as the iconic Pennywise the Clown. Chris caught an early screening and wanted to provide 10 points of thought, some positives & some negatives, without getting into any of the spoilers for the final chapter of It. What can you expect with the bigger budget? What are the main reasons to see It? Are there any reasons to maybe wait until you're comfortable at home? Is the R-Rating more utilized than the first reboot of the Stephen King adaptation? Most importantly, is It scary? Enjoy this little mini-breakdown of Chris' initial impressions, until later in the month when we do a full spoiler episode. Please support us by giving the show a Review on Apple Podcasts Would you like to hear more? Visit our Home
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John Wick: Chapter 2 - Movie Review
29/08/2019 Duration: 41minJoin Chris as he analyzes & reviews John Wick: Chapter 2, the 2017 action movie sequel, directed by Chad Stahelski & starring the legendary Keanu Reeves. After returning to the criminal underworld to repay a debt, John Wick discovers that a large bounty has been put on his life. Baba Yaga returns! But should he have? Would this series have been better left...not a series? Is the action better? Does Keanu give a stronger performance? Is the villain somehow better? Does Wick lose another dog? Does he lose another wife? Does he lose himself? Does adding Laurence Fishburne bring back their blockbuster chemistry from The Matrix? Most importantly, does he have the biggest body count in movie history? SPOILERS BEGIN at 17:23 Watch John Wick: Chapter 2 on Amazon Please support us by giving our show a Review on Apple Podcasts Would you like to hear more? Visit our Home
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Batman vs Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Movie Review
20/08/2019 Duration: 32minJoin Chris as he analyzes & reviews Batman vs Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the 2019 DC animated crossover action movie, starring BATMAN, and THE TURTLES! Batman, Batgirl & Robin forge an alliance with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to fight against the Turtles' sworn enemy, The Shredder, who has teamed up with Ra's Al Ghul & The League of Assassins. We've seen many-a crossover film come & go, but how many were good? How many stayed that way? Can the sheer nostalgic power of both Batman & the heroes in a half-shell propel them to greatest crossover ever? How many villains of the Dark Knight can they squeeze in here? Wait, someone is voicing Batman AND Joker?! The Caped Crusader squares off against Shredder?! Someone gets to press ALL the buttons in the Batmobile?! Can Gotham survive all this superhero madness?! Can we? Most importantly, HarleyQuinn turns into WHAT?! SPOILERS BEGIN at 17:22 Watch Batman vs TMNT on Amazon Please support us by giving the show a Review on Apple Podcasts
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Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom - Drunk Movie Review
13/08/2019 Duration: 01h17minJoin Chris & Jeff as they drunkenly analyze & review Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, the 2018 mega-blockbuster action movie sequel, directed by J.A. Bayona, & starring Chris Pratt & Bryce Dallas Howard. When the island's dormant volcano begins roaring to life, Owen & Claire mount a campaign to rescue the remaining dinosaurs from this extinction-level event. Sounds pretty ridiculous! But does it somehow manage to be even better than Spielberg's classic original film?! Is Chris Pratt still the coolest guy in the galaxy? Is Claire the best written character of the decade? How many tears will we shed over these dinosaurs?! Is this the best plot in the franchise? Have there ever been better side-characters in a movie? Is Blue our new savior? Will we be able to find ANY negatives for this billion-dollar masterpiece? Most importantly, is that the best movie ending of the century?! SPOILERS BEGIN at 33:26 Watch Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom on iTunes Please support us by giving our show a Revi
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Hereditary - Movie Review
10/08/2019 Duration: 32minJoin Chris as he analyzes & reviews Hereditary, the 2018 psychological horror movie, directed by Ari Aster & starring Toni Collette. After the family matriarch passes away, a grieving family is haunted by tragic and disturbing occurrences, and begin to unravel dark secrets. Many have touted this as the scariest film of the decade! But can it even compare to the likes of Get Out, The Witch, or The Babadook? Deep, dark drama is used to mentally cripple you, and then the real horror imagery shows up! But is it a good story? Does it make sense? Is it too 'slow'? Is there a worse nightmare than the one contained in this very divisive modern horror classic? Most importantly, what's up with that finale?! SPOILERS BEGIN at 9:43 Watch Hereditary on Amazon Please support us by giving our show a Review on Apple Podcasts Would you like to hear more? Visit our Home
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Child's Play (2019) - Movie Review
08/08/2019 Duration: 33minJoin Chris as he analyzes & reviews Child's Play, the 2019 horror/slasher movie remake, directed by Lars Klevberg & starring Aubrey Plaza & the GREAT Mark Hamill as your new Chucky! A mother gives her 13-year-old son a toy doll for his birthday, unaware of it's more sinister nature... Here we are. It was bound to happen. Chucky has been reborn. But should he have stayed in his cult with Don Mancini? Is his new origin story better than the original? Is Mark Hamill somehow better than Brad Dourif? How are the kills? How's Chucky's look? What's Aubrey Plaza doing here? Does this franchise have new life? Would Tupac be proud? Most importantly, would people even buy this doll?! SPOILERS BEGIN at 18:18 Watch Child's Play (2019) on Amazon Please support us by giving our show a Review on iTunes Would you like to hear more? Visit our Home
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Alita: Battle Angel - Movie Review
07/08/2019 Duration: 42minJoin Chris as he analyzes & reviews Alita: Battle Angel, the 2019 science fiction/action movie, directed by Robert Rodriguez & starring Rosa Salazar. A deactivated cyborg is revived, but cannot remember anything of her past life & goes on a quest to find out who she is. Sounds simple enough. Especially for a fantasy epic, set in space, produced AND written by the one & only James Cameron. But did he pay enough attention to his scriptwriting amidst all his Avatar business? Is the giant budget to make Alita look manga-accurate justified? Is her story one worth telling? This movie has a great cast...are they well-utilized? How's the action? Who asked for this phantom menace villain? Does Mahershala Ali have the cool factor to play Marvel's Blade? Did that ending really just do that?! Most importantly, is this a backdoor MegaMan movie?? SPOILERS BEGIN at 20:11 Watch Alita: Battle Angel on Amazon Please support us by giving our show a Review on Apple Podcasts Would you like to hear more? Visit o
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Friday the 13th Part III - Movie Review
20/06/2019 Duration: 31minJoin Chris as he analyzes & reviews Friday the 13th Part III, the 1982 horror slasher film sequel, directed by Steve Miner & starring Richard Brooker as the now-iconic Jason Voorhees! Having revived from his wounds, Jason Voorhees takes refuge at a cabin near Crystal Lake. As a group of co-eds arrive for their vacation, Jason continues his killing spree. Ready for more? But are you ready for more..in 3-D?! Jason returns to finally locate his iconic hockey mask and kill more dumbass kids at Crystal Lake. This movie pulls no punches! But is the series running out of gas? Or is it just starting to find it's groove? We've got several brutal horror movie kills. But are they worthy of the franchise name? Does Jason make any sense yet? Is Pamela Voorhees back?? What's up with this biker gang? Most importantly, what did Jason do to that girl?... SPOILERS BEGIN at 14:18 Watch Friday the 13th Part III on Amazon Please support our show by giving us a Review on Apple Podcasts Would you like to hear more? Visit
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John Wick - Movie Review
14/06/2019 Duration: 32minJoin Chris as he analyzes & reviews John Wick, the 2014 action revenge movie, directed by Chad Stahelski & starring the legendary Keanu Reeves. An ex-hit-man comes out of retirement to track down the gangsters that killed his dog and took everything from him. Keanu is easily one of the most recognizable action stars in film history! But did he truly strike gold with this new update on the classic action sub-genre? Is Michael Nyqvist an acceptable villain for Wick? Do they just cheaply manipulate with that dog scene? Are there too many headshots? Is it believable? Most importantly, is it the best action movie of all-time?! SPOILERS BEGIN at 15:40 Watch John Wick on Amazon Please support our show by giving us a Review on Apple Podcasts Would you like to hear more? Visit our Home
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High Life - Movie Review
12/06/2019 Duration: 22minJoin Chris as he analyzes & reviews High Life, the 2019 space drama thriller film, directed by Claire Denis & starring Robert Pattinson. A father and his daughter struggle to survive in deep space where they live in isolation. Before he's Bats, R Patts ventures to space in a sexy thriller that dares to go to new frontiers that most movies will dare not! But is it a satisfying space movie? How's the cast? What's the story? Is there a twist? How does it compare to other greats like 2001: A Space Odyssey? Will anyone let the dogs out? Is there too much rape? What's the f*ckbox? Most importantly, why isn't it linear? SPOILERS BEGIN at 13:52 Watch High Life on Amazon Please support us by giving our show a Review on Apple Podcasts Would you like to hear more? Visit our Home
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The Hitcher (2007) - Movie Review
08/06/2019 Duration: 56minJoin Chris, Jeff & ViP as they analyze & review The Hitcher, the 2007 slasher movie remake, directed by Dave Meyers & starring Sean Bean. A serial killer pins his crimes on two college students who gave him a ride. Simple. Promising. But does it deliver on it's straight-forward horror premise? Does Sean Bean have what it takes to portray a menacing serial killer? Can he be stopped? Is Sophia Bush an effective lead? How nostalgic is that soundtrack? How intense are the kills? Did Michael Bay film that highway scene? Have you ever tried to milk a donkey? Most importantly, would you pick up this Ned Stark-looking hitchhiker? SPOILERS BEGIN at 30:03 Watch The Hitcher on iTunes Please support our show by giving us a review on Apple Podcasts Would you like to hear more? Visit our Home
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Climax - Movie Review
07/06/2019 Duration: 39minJoin Chris & Amanda as they analyze & review Climax, the 2018 horror dance movie, directed by Gaspar Noe & starring Sofia Boutella. French dancers gather in a remote, empty school building to rehearse on a wintry night. The all-night celebration morphs into a hallucinatory nightmare when they learn their sangria is laced with LSD. From the creator of Enter The Void, comes a thriller film that is a trip to say the least..but is it a rewarding experience? What's the story? How's the dancing? Is it actually a horror movie? Is it violent? Are there any twists? Will anyone ever take LSD after seeing this? Most importantly, is this better than Black Swan?! SPOILERS BEGIN at 21:06 Watch Climax on Amazon Please support the show by giving us a Review on Apple Podcasts Would you like to hear more? Visit our Home
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Game Over, Man! - Movie Review
05/06/2019 Duration: 13minJoin Chris as he analyzes & reviews Game Over, Man!, the 2018 Netflix comedy/action movie, directed by Kyle Newacheck & starring Adam Devine, Anders Holm & Blake Anderson. Three friends are on the verge of getting their video game financed when their benefactor is taken hostage by terrorists. These are the Workaholics guys and they've been doing comedy for a while..but do they have what it takes to produce a satisfying feature film? Is it funny? Is it a good parody? How awesome is the action? How do they use the VERY R-rating? Will Shaggy sing 'It Wasn't Me'? Most importantly, how many dick shots are there? SPOILERS BEGIN at 9:26 Watch Game Over, Man! on Netflix Please support our show by giving us a Review on Apple Podcasts Would you like to hear more? Visit our Home
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Brightburn - Movie Review
04/06/2019 Duration: 21minJoin Chris as he analyzes & reviews Brightburn, the 2019 Superhero Horror movie, directed by David Yarovesky & starring Elizabeth Banks. What if a child from another world crash-landed on Earth, but instead of becoming a hero to mankind, he proved to be something far more sinister? What if a child aspired to something darker? This movie has a premise that practically writes itself (for several reasons...), but does this satisfy BOTH as a comic book film and an R-rated horror flick? How are the scares? How evil is this kid? How gory are the kills? How epic is the story? Is there a fatality that would put Cyclops to shame? Most importantly, how long do you keep ignoring how creepy your child is? SPOILERS BEGIN at 10:10 Watch Brightburn on Amazon Please support us by giving our show a rating/review on iTunes Would you like to hear more? Visit our Home
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Godzilla (2014) - Movie Review
27/05/2019 Duration: 01h14minJoin Chris & Vincent as they analyze & review Godzilla, the 2014 epic action monster movie, directed by Gareth Edwards & starring Aaron Taylor-Johnson & Bryan Cranston. The world is beset by the appearance of monstrous creatures, but one of them may be the only one who can save humanity. The legendary Gojira returns! In this modern American remake, and birth of the MonsterVerse, the King of the Monsters' story begins. But can Americans make good Godzilla movies? Is this Godzilla more worthy than Roland Emmerich's giant iguana? Is Aaron Taylor-Johnson a great leading man? Will Bryan Cranston ever get a Walter White-level role again? Is Ken Watanabe the real star? How's the action? How stunning are the VFX? And who ordered the MUTOs?? Most importantly, how does it fare against the big guy's 33 other films? SPOILERS BEGIN at 44:58 Watch Godzilla (2014) on iTunes Please support our show by giving us a review on iTunes Would you like to hear more? Visit our Home
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The Relic - Movie Review
24/05/2019 Duration: 21minJoin Chris as he analyzes & reviews The Relic, the 1997 horror slasher film, directed by Peter Hyams & starring Penelope Ann Miller & Tom Sizemore. A homicide detective and an anthropologist try to destroy a South American lizard-like god, who's on a people eating rampage in a Chicago museum. Whoa! Sounds pretty intense... But do they have the movie monster to back that premise up? Does the concept of 'Jurassic Park with an R Rating' succeed? Are the characters boring? Is the mystery basic? How are the kills? How are the late-90's VFX? Will Tom Sizemore ever give a f***? Most importantly, does this movie has the coolest VHS cover art ever? SPOILERS BEGIN at 13:35 Watch The Relic on iTunes Please support us by giving our show a review on iTunes Would you like to hear more? Visit our Home
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Robin Hood (2018) - Movie Review
23/05/2019 Duration: 15minJoin Chris as he analyzes & reviews Robin Hood, the 2018 action fantasy film, directed by Otto Bathurst & starring Taron Egerton & Jamie Foxx. A war-hardened Crusader and his Moorish commander mount an audacious revolt against the corrupt English crown. Do you love Batman Begins? Then you might really dig this! Robin 'The Hood' is back once again to steal cliche villain lines from Sheriff Nottingham and give badass action to us. But does Eggsy have enough movie stardom to carry a 'new' franchise? How's this Nottingham? How many arrows can one person fire in a second? How many sequel setups can you spot? Most importantly, who keeps giving Jamie Dornan such laughable roles?! SPOILERS BEGIN at 10:45 Watch Robin Hood (2018) on iTunes Please support us by giving the show a review on iTunes Would you like to hear more? Visit our Home