Betrayal Recovery Radio

Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Debby Flanagan who has more than 25 years of ministry experience helping women find healing from sexual and love addiction and trauma. As a survivor, she has a special connection with women who have experienced childhood sexual abuse. Debby works closely with women in recognizing areas of codependency and developing healthy boundaries.Debby is passionate about helping women discover their true identity in our Lord and the joy they experience when they find lifelong healing from shame and trauma.She works for Pure Desire and helps women access recovery tools that will reinforce their relationship with God.

Today, Carol the Coach interviews expert Sarah Morales who is  an expert and teaches courses on "gaslighting." Gaslighting can happen when an addict purposefully denies reality and projects that that there is something wrong with you for believing that there is something wrong wiith him. It can leave you feeling shaky and confused and it can make you doubt yourself. Listen as Sarah shares strategies for rebuking "gaslighting attempts."

Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Lyschel Burket who is a certified professional coach who would love to spend some time unpacking a common tool used by couples as they step into the space of healing and rebuilding. The tool is commonly used as a check in tool. Which means they use this tool as guardrails to their time in order to create connection, communication and safety with one another. Many call this tool FANOS - which stands for Feelings, Affirmations, Needs, Ownership and Sobriety/Self Care.  I believe this tool was originally offered by Debra & Mark Laaser with Faithful & True Ministries. It has also been sighted in Stephanie Carnes newest book Courageous Love, A Couples Guide to Conquering Betrayal.

Repeat of the therapeutic separation show.

Partners have lots of questions as to what they can do to seek safety.  Listen, as Carol the Coach and Hope talk about ways to rebuild  trust when she still doesn't feel safe. We talked about tools to create more safety in her relationship.

Today, Carol the Coach interviews Dr. Merry Frons who has specialized in treating couples with relationship and sexuality issues for over 30 years. She has very specific philosophies as to how to treat the partner individually and in couples therapy. She has written a step by step  protocol that helps the couple through the healing journey together. Her book, The Trust Solution was written because she believes that restoring trust is the basis of repairing the relationship. Listen as she shares what she believes are the essentials when treating sexual addiction and couples who have experienced partner betrayal.

Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing a couple who went through sexual addiction and partner betrayal.. It resulted in a lot of hard work and research on partner betrayal.. Cat suffered from PTSD and needed to learn how to manage the triggers. She also began to write to help partners understand what was happening to them. Together she and Frank have commited to helping  couples through difficult times. Cat has a series of 4 books that take you through that jouney.

Discovering your husband has broken his wedding vows by betraying you emotionally, sexually and financially, is extremely traumatic.  Having to make a decision to stay married or get divorced is one of the most difficult and pressing decisions every partner struggles with.  The incredible sense of fear and confusion facing this decision can be debilitating.  Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is going to discuss the struggle partners have with this painful decision and offer guidance on how and when to make the decision to stay in or leave your marriage. Listen as Carol the Coach and Dr. Crystal help you to feel safe!

Carol the Coach is interviewing Mark Denison who has produced resources to help sex addicts find lasting freedom and recovery. As a man in recovery, (he still attends two 12-step meetings each week), he knows the importance of a specific plan for recovery. He will be talking about his two primary resources: 90-Day Recovery process and new Freedom Groups. The 90-Day Plan utilizes his 90-Day workbook, daily readings, daily written exercises, and weekly calls. Next week (September 21),  he launches five new Freedom Groups, based on his new 400-page workbook, Life Recovery Plan. The purpose of this workbook and the groups is to help men’s recovery stick. Many of his wife, Beth’s clients are the wives of the men with whom he works. Mark will show men how to take their recovery to the next level with his recovery tools.

Are you an adult child of a sex addict? Do you feel confusion, fear and avoidance in your own relationships? Or do you feel best when you are intimately involved with someone? Adult children of sex addicts often are the forgotten population when we talk about sex addiction; but their experiences are a valid and rich contribution to the treatment of sex addiction and prevention of the generational addiction cycle. Adult children of sex addicts often suffer from maladaptive attachment patterns themselves having not experienced a healthy template, they feel lost and confused in relationships or desperate and anxious without relationships. Jessica will touch on the importance of taking time to process thoughts and feelings related to growing up in a family where sex addiction was present, why feeling anger is helpful and some helpful tools on how to move forward and stop the generational cycle.

Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dr. Jill Manning who is excited to announce the launch of a digital download store that offers therapeutic handouts and worksheets specifically designed for betrayed partners. Well-designed and trauma-informed, these resources are easy to integrate into clinical or coaching work, including group therapy.

Partners need a guide to heal and today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Beth Denison who is passionate about helping women find hope and healing after sexual betrayal. She developed materials that combine scriptural insight and sound psychoeducational information with a trauma sensitive model to guide women through a path of recovery. This was published in her new workbook called 12-Week Partner Recovery Guide: Journey to Healing from Sexual Betrayal. She coaches partners both one-on-one and in groups as she leads them through the workbook.

One of the toughest reactions and responses to partner betrayal is figuring out what boundaries you might need to feel safe. Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Boundaries Expert Aarti Chidambaram. Aarti believes that  boundaries are only words if there are not strong consequences. She will be discussing "Boundary Challenges" that partners face.She will be discussing "Layered Consequences and how this empowers partners to hold a space for what a partner will accept in her relationship. Aarti wants partners to have her empowerment tool ICE-R as it supports healthy boundaries.

Carol the Coach interviews Brian Martin who works with partners to show them how to assess whether the addict is working on his recovery in an efficient way. He will also be talking about how to recognize shame in an addict and how to interface with shame and anger appropriately.

Carol the Coach wants you have tools that cof the self.  It will help you with your healing and it will help you in your restoration so that you can move towards  more restoration You  will want to  listen as Jen Coles shares tools and tips to be your best person. There are many great tools and exercises available to partners of sex addicts as they go through their healing journey.  Jennifer’s signature approach to coaching is called ACE.  “Awareness creates Choice which then Empowers”.  To that end, her staple tools include the Personal Chaos Index, Values Assessment, and The Wheel of Life.  We will introduce to these tools and how they’re used during our conversation today.

Repeat of the 2018  show with APSATS Gaslighting expert Sarah Morales who help you figure out if you are being manipulated.

We are living through unprecedented times right now. Motherhood alone is challenging and difficult, but with the added stressors in today’s world AND experiencing betrayal trauma it can feel like you are drowning every day. Today’s segment will talk about the survival mechanisms moms can be forced into and hopefully bring some normalization and sanity around being a good enough parent in today’s landscape. How to give yourself a break while still being the best parent you can be and utilize concrete skills to show up for yourself and your kids.

Today, Carol the Coach will be  interviewing Coach Julie StOnge who wants to help partners to know that they worthy no matter what has happened to them. Julie explains, "My relationship with me was never that good. I have come to realize with partners that aside from cultural binds that may hold them in fear of change, there is a break down with their own relationships with self. I work on this simultaneously with partners. The three areas of focus for every partner are goals you can control, self worth, and data collection." Self worth means talking nice to yourself, seeing your history and knowing you are trustworthy, respecting your time and feelings, knowing you have innate worth, and believing in your potential. Negative self talk starts at a very young age. Negative film also runs early in life. The pattern can be broken with a dialectical approach of mindfulness training, embracing change, and embracing acceptance. Having the right resources can help you to change your life!

We all know that Sex Addicts often times fear that they don't possess the intuition to know how to be sensitive to others. Josh Nichols believes it might be just the oposite. In this interview Carol the Coach and Joshua Nichols will be discussing a recent article he wrote entitled “Managing Your Superpower: What Mister Rogers Has in Common with Sex Addicts.”  This is part 2 of a 2 part series. In essence, Josh believes that Fred Rogers, commonly known as Mister Rogers, and many sex addicts have something very unique in common – they are empaths. Empaths have what seems like a natural ability to feel and experience the emotional energy around them.  Whereas Fred Rogers seemed to understand and harness this energy, sex addicts are often overwhelmed by it.  Mister Rogers somehow figured out how to manage this superpower and use it productively in his life.  For sex addicts, these intense feelings have become unmanageable; hence the reason for using sex and sexuality as means for coping. Partners want their spou

We all know that Sex Addicts often times lack empathy. Well Josh Nichols believes it might be just the oposite. In this interview Carol the Coach and Joshua Nichols will be discussing a recent article he wrote entitled “Managing Your Superpower: What Mister Rogers Has in Common with Sex Addicts.”  This is part 1 of a 2 part series. In essence, Josh believes that Fred Rogers, commonly known as Mister Rogers, and many sex addicts have something very unique in common – they are empaths. Empaths have what seems like a natural ability to feel and experience the emotional energy around them.  Whereas Fred Rogers seemed to understand and harness this energy, sex addicts are often overwhelmed by it.  Mister Rogers somehow figured out how to manage this superpower and use it productively in his life.  For sex addicts, these intense feelings have become unmanageable; hence the reason for using sex and sexuality as means for coping. Join us for an interesting dialogue about empathy!