Your Mileage May Vary

The release date of this episode will make it hard for listeners, as they'll have to tear themselves away from the new Taylor Swift album to give us their full attention. Her emotions regarding her most recent failed relationship are notable, if only because they don't really sound like those I would expect from a 35-year-old woman. But we'll soldier on, even in the face of the Tortured Poets Department. Because, honestly, what could be more tortured than a man trying to provide his woman a little anal fingering, only to wind up with more than he bargained for? Or, equivalently, a woman who might tip the scales beyond just "overweight" who is propositioned for an MFF threesome by her partner with someone who's ... pretty thin. Should she go along with it, or recognize that the other lady is likely to get the better of the situation? And, are men supposed to do more work during sex than women? We get a lot of our questions from Reddit, so for our listeners' enjoyment, here are links to some of the questions w

If one were to try to assign "blame" for men's difficulty in ascertaining whether a female partner has orgasmed, who bears the most responsibility? Traditionally, I would view it as the man's fault. Given our interest in that part of the female body, you'd think more men would conduct significant online research. But what if women are actively trying to prevent men from understanding how to "get them there"? It doesn't even have to be all purposeful. Some combination of women confused about their own bodies and others trying to make men feel better about themselves might unwittingly be misleading whole generations of men about what they "should" be doing. Another game-theoretical situation arises around STI tests. In the somewhat unusual case that tests are even exchanged by new partners, is there a good way to know if someone is sharing fabricated test results? And, what would even be the point of doing that, given that most STIs are treatable? And, are there really any women out there who would be pleased t

Keith wanted to discuss where to place his semen in an early sexual encounter. It's not as simple a problem as it sounds. It requires forethought for each position. And, since the woman may often simply express the desire that he "put it inside," it's a lonely road the man must travel to find a proper exterior setting. As I sit here in my bed in Dublin, Ireland, contemplating Keith's semen situation, I can't help wondering if this is the same kind of dilemma faced by such writers as James Joyce when trying to frame his life in terms comprehensible to others. The expulsion of semen is a momentary event, but it can be seminal. And, where it's put can set the tone for years to come with a partner. Speaking of literary masterpieces, we discuss a Reddit user's comment which encapsulates well the feeling of a hard penis, described for the benefit of a young woman who has never touched one. And, we explain why the 69 position usually places the man on the bottom, not the top. We get a lot of our questions from Redd

There's no way to know the full extent to which people claiming to use multiple forms of birth control are virtue signaling. Sure, it's believable that in early sexual encounters people might use a condom as well as the pill, to protect against STIs. But there's definitely some sort of limit here, and later in a relationship the benefit derived is pretty unclear. MFF threesomes are pretty commonplace in men's fantasy arsenals. But it's less common for men to think through the mechanics and the consequences. For example, what will the second woman do while he's interacting with the first? And, of course, this is all assuming that the threesome isn't really because the two women want to pursue a lesbian experience. And, to what lengths might a man go to avoid giving oral sex to his female partner? Should oral sex be considered "table stakes" in intimate relationships? We get a lot of our questions from Reddit, so for our listeners' enjoyment, here are links to some of the questions we discussed this week: http

Like the peninsular docks that jut out from the islands of the Maldives, a dildo a man purchased for his wife seemed to touch just the right spots, giving her the first "penetration-only" orgasm he's ever witnessed. Now, heartbroken, he's unsure whether this will permanently alter their relationship. Another man is upset that his wife allowed another man to shoot "boudoir" photos of her. What's the actual reason for someone to want such photos? And, does he have any reason to be upset? And, what inhibits men from giving oral more often in relationships? Is it because they're not big fans of the act in general, or is it just something to do with timing and what's asked for directly? We get a lot of our questions from Reddit, so for our listeners' enjoyment, here are links to some of the questions we discussed this week: https://ymmv.me/160/boudoir https://ymmv.me/160/shape https://ymmv.me/160/going-down https://ymmv.me/160/worst-sex Twitter: @ymmvpod Facebook: ymmvpod Email: ymmvpod@gmail.com

It's always a difficult situation for a woman when she's pleasuring a man orally and he starts to get a bit too pushy. But here we discuss a young lady who was surprised by the act and unable to control the depth of penetration at all. What are some techniques for managing this? If she bites him, will she really get punched? What's the best way for a woman to "freshen up" before welcoming a man between her legs? Obviously a shower is likely to be the gold-standard solution. But let's say that's not available. What are the best substitutes? And, what's the right response by a man to a truly unusual fetish revealed by his female partner? Can a fetish be so extreme that it must have been invented purely to end the relationship? We get a lot of our questions from Reddit, so for our listeners' enjoyment, here are links to some of the questions we discussed this week: https://ymmv.me/159/sex-ed https://ymmv.me/159/kink https://ymmv.me/159/pushy https://ymmv.me/159/roulette https://ymmv.me/159/first https://ymmv.me

Which countries have the largest and the smallest penis sizes? Would it surprise you to find out that the smallest nation is just a bit more than half the size of the largest one? It's a complicated topic, though, because if a guy wants to get into the Three Sevens Club, he's going to need to be extremely tall, have a large penis and make a lot of money. I guess there are some well-known folks who definitely qualify on the first and third axes, but the middle one is still a question mark. If a woman makes it clear to a friend that her husband's penis is "small" and he overhears the conversation, is there any coming back from that? Obviously she cares about it, and obviously she's aware. And, there's not much he can do to "fix" the problem. We offer more information and discussion of male masturbation toys, this time in the context of a man who seems to prefer them to his partner. And, is there anything a woman can do to get a man to delete nude pictures of her? Or is it just up to his personality and innate d

That glow I have is the good feeling from being told by Ally, in no uncertain terms, that my orgasms are surely stronger than hers, and perhaps stronger than all women's. "Why else would men pursue sex so much more than women," she says. "It must be better for you guys." Amen to that, and thanks to Ally we also learned that the products of teenage masturbation also may be more memorable for men than for women. Next, we take a look at some reviews of male pleasure devices from Amazon, and wondered how long it would be before, paired with the metaverse, men could live in a sexual holodeck. And, do women really want a man to "suck" on their clit? This seems like something that might be too aggressive for the typical lady. Which reminds me, what explains the relative popularity of sex podcasts which just reinforce the standard cultural narratives? I know, you're probably thinking that the standard narrative is something out of the 1950s, complete with tradwives and obligation sex. But that's not the modern world

In spite of the vigorous efforts of men to post detailed feedback on porn and sex toys, few take this part of men's lives seriously. It's a shame, because for most men it's an important enough part of their lives that one wonders whether someone can really know a man without understanding his porn preferences. This episode, Mike wanted to discuss a couple of porn tropes that he doesn't enjoy and wishes would change. Namely, men insisting that women have orgasms on cue (triggering fakery) and either party being too effusive in praising the other, especially when nearing climax. Keith wants to discuss ways in which women could better vet potential partners on dating apps, something that is sorely lacking given the sheer amount of choice available to them (assuming they're attractive enough). And, how do the mechanics of pelvic thrusting differ between men and women? Does this impact the experience in, say, the cowgirl position? To follow along with the video discussed at the beginning of the episode: https://

A woman reports experiencing an extraordinary number of orgasms experienced during a bondage session. So many so, in fact, that she passes out from the experience, and she claims that each orgasm became painful, starting about halfway through the session. What is she experiencing? Is in analogous to the male experience or something completely different? Is passing out indicative of some other phenomenon like hyperventilating or even a medical issue of some kind? Which men seriously comment on videos posted on porn sites, and what's the goal? And, if your partner is watching porn containing content that differs markedly from what they claim to enjoy in everyday life, is this indicative of anything? And, what's the right way to handle the "aftermath" of anal? We get a lot of our questions from Reddit, so for our listeners' enjoyment, here are links to some of the questions we discussed this week: https://ymmv.me/155/orgasmsporn,https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/1ahoqjd/bfs_comments_on_reddit_porn_should_i_

Like Icarus flying too close to the sun, we decided to tackle a series of topics this week that could get us banned from the Internet or worse. In general, we are very timid men, unwilling to challenge social norms, but this week was different. I blame climate change. This may surprise you, but it sounds like men sometimes lie on dating applications in order to increase their odds of sleeping with new, attractive women. Sometimes this might even make sense, since women might apply too strict of a filter on their searches. Maybe dating apps should just make it easier for men to bust through such problems? Maybe using money? You've undoubtedly heard the apocryphal story about the teenage boy who broke both his arms and, needing release, was assisted by a member of his family. In all seriousness, what do people do when they're in the hospital and need some sexual alone time? Is this an area where we can all agree that paid handjobs by a provider should be legal? We get a lot of our questions from Reddit, so for

Some men might not be upset to find out their partner invited another man to join their bedroom festivities. But, even those who at some time or another have declared they'd be up for "anything" may not really mean they want to take it quite that far. Who are the real masters of the domain of orgasm? Is it perhaps time for women to concede that men might just have a better grip on the human sexual response cycle, given the frequency with which they "check the equipment"? This is of particular import when discussing a porn Mike shared with the audience (link below) where the male partner always urges his counterpart to orgasm during PIV sex. It doesn't really seem like she ever does. What insights can a woman gain into the male desire (or lack thereof) for monogamy from sugar dating? Probably quite a lot, though there are certainly individual differences between men. To follow along with the videos discussed at the beginning of the episode: https://ymmv.me/153/lustful We get a lot of our questions from Reddi

What a world it is that people will stand up and shout you down for having the audacity to suggest that a fluid emanating from a woman's urethra is urine. Perhaps we are the Galileos of a new enlightenment, called to the world to bring knowledge to the huddled masses. Incidentally, and perhaps appropriately, if you want to see Galileo's middle finger, it's on display in the Museo di Storia del Scienza in Italy. We recommend that listeners view it before submitting uninformed one-star reviews of the podcast. We discussed the techniques used by potentially scorned women to search through their boyfriends' phones to see what he's been up to. Clever searches include looking at his screen time and battery usage, reddit history and the like. What differentiates touching aimed at intimacy from initiation of sex? Is it the same for men and women? And, how does differentiating between these kinds of interactions apply in "dead bedroom" situations? Along similar lines, what's going on when a woman wants to "ignore" her

In a thought-provoking start to the new year, we discuss requests for unusual types of porn made by men on Reddit, paired with a conversation about PornHub's 2023 porn trends data. Where are men coming up with these rather strange requests? Is it indicative of what they want in real life, or have they just been conditioned by online content? If you've ever wondered where the hot spots are in your city for gay cruising, but you haven't wanted to install the Grindr app on your phone for whatever reason, we've got a site you can visit just to get the lay of the land. Lots of cocks, and some good information. How do people justify getting plastic surgery, and is it effective? Is there an analogy between it and makeup, or is there a bright line? And, what advice should a young man get who is considering losing his virginity with a sex worker? Here's the site we discussed at the beginning of the episode: https://ymmv.me/151/sniffies We get a lot of our questions from Reddit, so for our listeners' enjoyment, here

Before getting to the heart of the matter -- how many times one should have had sex in 2023 -- we discuss some topics of perhaps more general interest. A woman has a curious predilection for small penises, prompting her to receive a large number of dick pics showing off all the smaller-than-average men available on the Internet. Her opinion, presumably, goes along with the old saw that what men do with the organ is more important than its size. Personally, I think both are pretty important. A man's delicate sweetheart gifts him with a large amount of urine to the face as she's climaxing from his ministrations. Apart from the obligatory race to the shower, what's the right level of aftercare in each direction for this situation? And, is a woman guilty of anything if she gives a married man oral sex, when she neither knew nor suspected she was married? We get a lot of our questions from Reddit, so for our listeners' enjoyment, here are links to some of the questions we discussed this week: https://ymmv.me/150/

Discussion continues of Keith's concern that women don't particularly enjoy giving head, turning partly to the question of whether they're enjoyment of sex would be enhanced by "leaning into" a more submissive role rather than focusing primarily on emotional closeness. For the holidays, Keith made an effort to find a lady-friend willing to come with him on a Caribbean getaway. As he's not in a relationship right now, it would have to be a somewhat spur-of-the-moment thing, and he found it pretty difficult to find anyone willing to take him up on it. This leads into some conversation about dating strategies more broadly, and the reality that the male-female balance of power shifts in the man's direction as time passes generally: 20-year-old women hold all the cards, but by age 35 it's a different world. To wrap up the episode, we take on such perennial questions as female wetness, and the length that vagina odor tends to remain on the penis after sex, even after showering. We get a lot of our questions from R

There may be listeners who find it irritating when Keith and Mike pretty much agree on a subject, but such was the case regarding oral performed on women and how to optimize their orgasm quality. Sure, we haven't witnessed every single female orgasm that has ever happened on the planet (that will have to wait for the surveillance state of the 2030s), but our experience is that women who claim not to enjoy cunnilingus should probably give it another look. Perhaps this goes along with a somewhat standard rule about life: The thing that is more cumbersome for one person is often the thing that provides the most benefit to the other. Many men do try to "dodge" their oral responsibilities, and perhaps that proves the point that it's something women should want and generally do want. A man's wife offers him permission to see prostitutes while she is out of town. Is it a legitimate offer, or is this some elaborate form of entrapment? Should he do it, and what is the proper protocol? How far should he be willing to g

What should a man do if his female partner starts taking steroids or testosterone? Whether it's to become a weightlifter or as part of a hormone-replacement regimen, he's liable to be confronted by someone with a significantly different libido from the norm. It could even be -- bear with me here -- like the transition between Bruce Banner and The Incredible Hulk. Now, I'm no expert on the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but I believe the green guy has significantly larger body parts all over. In a similar vein, a man's partner might see her dainty vulva replaced by an angry red, or even purple, bulging clitoris. Should he become submissive in return? What if that's not really his style? Speaking of submissive men, Keith wanted to understand the impact of Kegel exercises on a woman's virility, specifically whether using something like Ben Wa balls could actually improve a woman's ability to "grip" her partner during sex. Also, is this kind of gripping always voluntary, or is there a certain amount of it that happen

Men really like it when their partners orgasm during sex, and Keith is no exception. He has a theory for why maybe his partners are more likely to get there than those of a random man. He hopes he's a kind of orgasm whisperer, particularly early in a relationship. Even pretty experienced and successful men probably make basic mistakes during early dates with a new partner. Keith offers some guidance on how men can correct these errors and move toward being "better" daters. For whatever reason, we've recently been sent a cock ring and a request to take a look at a sex doll website, so we take care of that. Female sex dolls make some sense, but what is the function of the male ones, complete with large, protruding, erect penises? And, we take a look at some data around first dates to try to evaluate claims made in various places on the Internet about male-female differences in that arena. Here is the article we discussed in the episode containing data from first dates: https://ymmv.me/146/first-dates Here are

If you're like me, and I can only assume that you are, your enjoyment of sex follows the pleasure principle and the harm principle. In other words, my main reason for wanting to do things is because they turn me on and make me feel good. I'm not a goddamned sexual charity after all. Well, come to find out that there are people out there who view sex in some sort of enlightened altruistic way. They do it "to increase the utility of all mankind". A bit preposterous when you consider the implications. Might one expect to see altruistic women offering blowjobs for free, because it's not all that much effort to make a man happy? Where would it end? Alongside considering remaking society, we delve into a woman who wants group sex with a whole cadre of men (no news on who gets to go first, but I'd call him the "winner"). A man claims to get nothing out of playing with his partner's breasts -- and Keith sort of understands where he's coming from. After all, once you've "captured" the breast, what are you supposed to