Your Mileage May Vary

This week, we dive into the ever-thorny topic of physical attractiveness, honesty, and the complicated etiquette around saying what you actually think, especially to women. They discuss the social costs of radical honesty, the benefits of being perceived as a reliable truth-teller, and the minefield of commenting on a partner’s looks. Comparisons are drawn between intelligence and beauty, with a healthy dose of evolutionary psychology for good measure. Keith expresses admiration for high-IQ self-awareness, while Mike explains his method of gauging intelligence through diction, unless someone has the audacity to be foreign. The conversation then shifts to online dating profiles, where the hosts lament the apparent laziness of women's efforts and propose increasingly elaborate theories about why no one is trying very hard. Mike expresses surprise that women don’t treat their profiles as quinceañera-level events, while Keith wonders if some sort of mandatory SAT verification might improve the filtering process.

Keith and Mike examine the nuances of modern dating with the clinical detachment of two men who’ve spent far too much time on dating apps. They begin by dissecting the increasingly common expectation for men to send daily "good morning" texts, a phenomenon Keith describes as both psychologically revealing and extremely stupid. Mike proposes outsourcing these texts to offshore call centers or an AI assistant, both of which he suspects would outperform the average man. The segment concludes with a meditation on communication as performance versus communication as evidence of actual affection. The conversation then drifts, as it often does, into a granular exploration of sexual technique, including thrusting strategies, vocal coaching, and the sociocultural ramifications of vigorous fingering. Keith offers a brief anatomical aside on the bone structure of mammalian penises, which is less of a non sequitur than it sounds. Mike draws a comparison between poorly instructed fingering and receiving directions like “t

In this episode of Your Mileage May Vary, Keith and Mike begin by considering the ethics of emotional honesty. They discuss whether withholding one’s emotional state constitutes a lie, and how much emotional transparency is required in a functional relationship. Keith argues that stoicism, while flawed, is preferable to emotional overexposure. The conversation quickly turns to situationships, particularly cases where men engage in sustained sexual encounters while deliberately avoiding commitment. The hosts propose several mental models to explain this behavior, ranging from embarrassment to status differentials. Keith draws on the film Bridesmaids for empirical support, which is as close to peer-reviewed literature as the podcast is likely to get. Mike admits to avoiding brunch invitations for fear that a partner might meet Keith and immediately break up with him. Later, the two revisit the topic of sleep sex, a long-dormant segment of the show’s canon. A Reddit post prompts speculation on the biomechanics o

This week, Keith and Mike attempt to rank the most important superficial traits that influence male sexual desire, beginning with a list that includes weight, ethnicity, facial attractiveness, figure, and everything else. What begins as an exercise in prioritization soon becomes a deep dive into personal biases, aesthetic heuristics, and a surprising amount of geometry. Keith provides a mechanical breakdown of sexual logistics with overweight partners, which leads to a somewhat academic discussion of bodily angles and the limitations of certain sexual positions. Mike contributes moral support, skepticism, and vivid analogies involving sport-fucking and Eastern European machinery. From there, the conversation leads to the relationship between apparent enthusiasm during sex and perceived long-term viability as a partner. The hosts consider whether women might accidentally disqualify themselves from relationship consideration by enjoying themselves too much during a first hookup. They explore the intersection of

Keith and Mike mark their 200th episode today. They begin by reflecting on the accuracy of milestone counting and segue into a discussion about Barry Bonds, Hank Aaron, and the fallibility of supposedly sacred sports statistics. Keith expresses suspicion that his own episode count spreadsheet may contain hidden corruption, though Mike assures him the podcast network’s data file would make such an error unlikely. The moment is appropriately celebrated with a shared sense of modest self-congratulation and implied service to humanity. The conversation moves into a deeper analysis of male sexual psychology, sparked by a text from a woman who suggests that sex with a man often ends the pursuit. Keith and Mike consider the implications of novelty, companionship, and emotional labor in relationships, with Mike drawing an analogy to deer hunting and Keith delicately suggesting that some women might simply not be compelling. The two debate whether orgasm consistency and emotional intelligence can prolong male interest

Keith returns from Mardi Gras and reflects on the surprisingly family-friendly atmosphere, alongside the expected open-container debauchery. He and Mike discuss bead culture, public flashing, and how social dynamics at such events can override typical social inhibitions. The conversation segues into the cultural legacy of Girls Gone Wild, including its covert marketing of hardcore pornography and the legal grey areas surrounding consent and identification. Mike notes that his preferred porn was "too advanced" for Girls Gone Wild, which is a humblebrag if there ever was one. The hosts then shift gears into a conversation about sexual timing and relationship dynamics. They propose the surprisingly radical idea of having sex before dinner, rather than after, in part to avoid the logistical complications of digestion and sleepovers. This leads to an extended negotiation theory about ejaculation, cuddling, and the psychological benefits of clarity when dealing with the lizard brain. Keith confesses that his post-o

This week's episode begins with a discussion about a recent controversy involving Elon Musk and an alleged baby trap, debating the ethical and financial implications of such a maneuver. The conversation quickly expands into a broader critique of transactional relationships and the unintended consequences for the children involved. The hosts then delve into the complexities of sexual preferences and boundaries, sparked by a listener’s complaint about their spouse’s aversion to oral sex. Keith suggests a strategic, if somewhat underhanded, approach to resolving the issue, while Mike questions the feasibility of engineering desire. Along the way, they explore the cultural expectations around reciprocity in relationships and the differing ways men and women perform obligations. The conclusion is inconclusive but at least thorough in its over-analysis. Further in, the duo takes a detour into the world of unconventional body modifications, thanks to an inquiry about "prison pearls." The concept is met with equal pa

Keith and Mike take a measured approach to their latest batch of one-star reviews, which range from the standard accusations of misogyny to the more concerning claim that their voices induce sleep. Rather than engage in self-reflection, they consider the possibility of pivoting to the lucrative world of sleep podcasts. Keith, ever the economist, points out that their detractors failed to take advantage of the show’s longstanding policy of paying for negative feedback. This oversight only serves to reinforce his belief that their harshest critics may not be operating at peak intellectual capacity. The discussion then turns to relationships, where a listener writes in with an ultimatum that can only be described as highly specific. Her husband, citing irreconcilable differences, has informed her that unless she consents to anal sex twice a week, their marriage cannot continue. Mike, applying his usual analytical rigor, wonders whether the man would maintain his conviction if the arrangement were reversed. Keith

A discussion leads to an extended examination of an unusual claim: that a Mormon husband once ate cereal out of his wife’s vagina. The logistics are considered, including spoon placement, sugar residue, and potential medical consequences. This transitions into a broader conversation about Mormon attitudes toward sex, particularly the practice of “soaking” and its representation in pornography. The effectiveness of soaking as a loophole is debated, along with the likelihood that it leads to more conventional sexual activity. Mormon missionary rules against masturbation come up next, specifically the requirement for male missionaries to clap at intervals while showering. The practical difficulties of this rule are analyzed, as is the possibility of working around it with various contraptions. The conversation expands to whether deeply ingrained religious prohibitions affect sexual preferences later in life. There is also some speculation about whether female missionaries, lacking explicit restrictions, may have

This week, we've some discussion of aggressive bidets, the science of clitoral measurements, and why Sydney Sweeney may or may not be fluent in Russian. Mike shares his experience installing a high-end toilet seat that may or may not be waging psychological warfare on his anus. Keith explores the concept of malicious compliance, specifically how a government employee might secretly be helping birth control access by following bad orders too well. Meanwhile, Ally regrets mentioning that airport breastfeeding pods exist because now Mike is brainstorming ways to misuse them. We also break down the latest entry in the "songs that make Ben Shapiro furious" genre, dissecting the lyrics to Fat, Juicy, and Wet with the kind of forensic rigor normally reserved for congressional hearings. What exactly is "coochie water," and why is it being autographed? Did the songwriter fully grasp the anatomical implications of their rhymes? These are the questions that matter, and we bravely attempt to answer them, only to become m

This week's conversation begins with a discussion of a bizarre dream involving a psychotherapist, leading to an extended reflection on how people process embarrassment, sexual taboos, and personal boundaries. The hosts debate how different individuals react to unexpected sexual situations and whether certain behaviors are perceived as threatening or simply absurd. This leads to a broader examination of the way people handle personal shame, discomfort, and social norms in sexual contexts. The discussion shifts to personal anecdotes and listener questions, including the challenges of maintaining sexual attraction in long-term relationships. One listener writes in about their wife pushing them to see a sex therapist, prompting a debate on whether sexual desire can be "fixed" and what role therapy actually plays in these situations. The hosts analyze how attraction fluctuates over time, how rejection impacts relationships, and whether sexual routines inevitably deteriorate. They also touch on how external stresso

We dive into the curious phenomenon of "soaking" and its implications on sexual conditioning and religious practices. Keith, Mike, and Ally debate whether this unconventional sexual activity could lead to premature ejaculation and explore how societal norms shape young adults' experiences with sex. The conversation takes a humorous yet analytical turn as they dissect the mechanics of soaking, its representation on social media, and the physiological realities for both men and women. The team transitions into a deep dive on modern dating challenges, focusing on the struggles of navigating first dates and deciphering post-date rejection messages. They analyze the psychology of ghosting, the dynamics of chemistry, and why some interactions result in brutally polite rejection rather than silence. Mike offers his theory on the purpose of "negging" as a dating strategy, while Ally reflects on how women decide whether a man belongs in the relationship, friend, or booty call category. Polyamory and its impact on rela

Keith and Mike dive headfirst into a variety of candid discussions about sex, relationships, and the complexities of intimacy. Kicking off with New Year reflections and lighthearted anecdotes about international travel and passport quirks, the conversation quickly transitions into a bold exploration of modern and historical sexual dynamics. The hosts examine societal expectations of sexual performance, with an in-depth look at a passage from D.H. Lawrence’s Lady Chatterley's Lover. This sparks a thoughtful debate on male fantasies, clitoral stimulation, and the evolving understanding of female anatomy over the years. They analyze how outdated ideals still influence contemporary relationships. Listeners are also treated to anecdotes about personal experiences, ranging from mishaps in college dorm rooms to the nuances of trying new things in the bedroom. Keith and Mike tackle stories on cockwarming, deep-throating challenges, and the curious role of additional participants during intimate encounters, offering t

Communication in relationships often feels like navigating a maze. One partner might think they’re being crystal clear, while the other feels utterly lost. In this episode, we break down the subtle art of saying what you mean without stepping on each other's toes. Whether it’s about chores, emotional needs, or the dreaded “What’s for dinner?” question, we explore how to find a balance between being direct and being kind. Is “opposites attract” just a myth we tell ourselves, or is there truth behind it? We dig into how differences in personality, habits, and even core values can either fuel passion or spark conflict. More importantly, we discuss how couples can learn to embrace —- and even celebrate —= what makes them different, instead of letting it drive them apart. It’s not about becoming the same person but understanding how to coexist as a team. We also delve into the role humor plays in keeping relationships alive. From shared inside jokes to laughing through mishaps, humor can be a powerful bonding tool

Keith and Ally take the reins without Mike, but the lack of a third chair doesn’t stop them from diving headfirst into a bizarre mix of sex, relationships, and logistical puzzles. The duo kicks things off by discussing the viral story of Lily Phillips, a British OnlyFans model who attempted to set a world record by having sex with 100 men in one day. From red eyes to conveyor belts, they pick apart the mechanics, ethics, and deeply strange implications of a culture that produces such stunts—all while trying not to picture it too vividly. They then tackle a question about a woman obsessed with her boyfriend’s testicles. Ally proposes space heaters and ball stretchers as solutions to optimize his "dangle," while Keith investigates the more esoteric paraphernalia of the internet's ball-stretching community. The pair debates whether the whole post might just be a ruse to start a niche fetish discussion, and by the end, neither of them is convinced it isn’t. Keith reluctantly closes his browser window, now resigne

We headfirst into a brutal listener email critiquing Ally’s podcasting style. She's accused of “juvenile speech patterns” and “unnecessary giggling.” Ally claps back with some sharp retorts, and Mike gleefully feeds the fire by running our conversational chemistry through an AI for its unvarnished take. Turns out Mike is the worst host. We also take a detour into the world of bizarre hypotheticals and unfiltered admissions. Ever wondered if public bathroom masturbation is more common than you think? Or how to shave your harder-to-reach areas? Our exploration of trans issues gets heated as we discuss locker rooms, government regulations, and the eternal battle of who really belongs where. You’ll get some surprising perspectives, a bit of libertarian philosophy. Finally, we lighten the mood with a look at sugar daddies, plastic surgery, and why OnlyFans seems to be the ultimate gold rush. Keith confesses his curiosity about a millionaire “virgin” content creator, while Mike finds yet another way to make the res

What do Taylor Swift, a clown car, and seasonal porn have in common? They all somehow make it into this week’s episode of Your Mileage May Vary! Just Mike and me today, and we’re diving into the strange, hilarious, and occasionally bleak corners of sex, relationships, and the modern world. We kick things off with a look at the awkward politics of swinger approaches, including Mike’s firsthand confusion at a Lake Tahoe bar that was definitely not what he expected. Then we analyze why Taylor Swift’s music might be your secret weapon for attracting 20-something women (pro tip: encyclopedic knowledge of “All Too Well” is apparently a game-changer). Along the way, we discuss whether AI-generated porn is the future of personal fantasies, and whether we’d even want that future in the first place. From there, we pivot into listener questions, tackling the problem of queefing, and a curious case of someone who can masturbate 15 times a day but can’t seem to finish during sex. As always, our takes are a mix of irrevere

Keith opens with a hot take on Trump’s America, while Mike finds unexpected humor in Elon Musk’s dreams of Mars. Ally is unimpressed, predicting four years of “dumb news” with a cognitive load she’d rather skip. It’s politics, sex, tech, and a sprinkle of dark comedy. As the conversation shifts, we hit a deep dive into relationships and breakups. Keith brings a Reddit post on moving on from an ex, sparking a fiery debate. Mike likens it to Mein Kampf, and somehow Hitler’s love life becomes a point of speculation. The trio pokes fun, but there's a hint of truth in their banter about love, betrayal, and the bitter art of letting go. Then, it’s onto the porn rabbit hole. Keith shares his paid-for porn adventures and the disturbing allure of AI-generated nudity. Mike gets philosophical, asking if infinite access to virtual sex will change the world – or just take men out of it. Ally, as ever, has a bone to pick, wondering if this shift could finally tip the scales in favor of women running society. It’s porn, pol

We spar over a recent listener’s email critiquing the show, with Mike’s biting response setting the tone: Don’t like it? Don’t listen. The debate over listener loyalty quickly spirals into discussions about free speech, political divides, and an unexpected autofellatio advocate from YouTube, proving once again that no topic is too taboo. The team then veers into a humorous, yet candid, conversation about the logistics of drug testing and the subtle art of peeing in a cup. Ally bravely fields questions from Keith and Mike about the surprisingly complex mechanics of female urination. If you’ve ever wondered why women might need to wipe differently or how men view their anatomy post-pee, this segment has your answers. The hosts take a dive into the motivations behind "natural conception donors" -— guys who offer up their sperm the old-fashioned way for women seeking motherhood sans relationship. What positions do they use, and how does the dynamic play out emotionally? Ally gives her two cents on the likely etiq

We dive headfirst into election season stress, sparking debates about voting, political allegiances, and California's unique tax burdens. The conversation gets heated as they explore the surprising reasons why some stick with their coastal roots, even at the cost of thousands. The stakes might be high, but the laughs are even higher as they weigh the pros and cons of state loyalty. Next up, we step into the sometimes-misunderstood world of foot fetishes. From pedicure preferences to the social stigma of "diddling feet" in porn, the hosts don’t hold back in dissecting what makes a “good foot” and why this particular fetish polarizes so strongly. The episode wouldn’t be complete without some vibrator talk, as the crew debates whether a buzzing toothbrush is really a worthy bedroom tool. Ally opens up about her skepticism toward vibrators, leading to a spirited conversation about the difference between solo pleasure and partnered intimacy. You might even hear some surprising confessions along the way. Finally, t