Quick And Dirty Marriage Podcast

We've been away for about 8 months without a single Podcast Episode and now we're back! But where the heck dd we go? This Episode is a summary of where we've been and what's next with the Quick and Dirty Marriage Podcast.

Bad Habits We do this all the time. THINK. And it's a bad habit when it comes to relationships.  We think we know what they want We think they know how we feel We think, "Of course he knows what to do" And that's a bad habit and it leads to too many problems. Stop Thinking Have you ever wanted to be intimate with your partner and just thought they knew what you wanted? So you didn't say anything about it and just assumed it was going to happen...and it didn't. And then you got disappointed, frustrated and then ignored them because of it? And now they're left in the dark thinking, "What did I do?" STOP THAT! Start Talking Stop thinking. If you want something, if you need them to know how you feel, if you want to avoid a lot of these issues, then just ask or just talk. It will solve almost 99% of your problems. No one can read minds.  

It's Tough Breaking up with your Ex and then trying to live your life afterward. Especially when the relationship wasn't ideal towards the end. Dealing with pain, regret and most of all hurt. So what do you do? How do you 'get over' them? Severe the Toxic Relationship Surround yourself with people who love you Counseling is always helpful when needed Look forward to, and set Positive Goals for yourself Forgiveness   NEW! You can now watch this Episode on YouTube   HELPFUL LINKS Subscribe to the Podcast Visit our Website Follow us on Instagram Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Join the FREE Quick and Dirty Community on Facebook Like our Facebook Page Follow us on Twitter Visit our Linktree Page    

Trust is built with Transparency. And that is evident when it comes to Dating and Social Media. And more specifically, allowing each other to have access to your Social Media Accounts. As your dating relationship progresses and begins to move into a more serious one, the subject of access to each other's accounts may come up.  If you are unwilling to share, your partner may begin to question why. On the flip side, if you are willing to share, trust is built by being transparent with each other. What are you hiding?

Too often, and usually in younger people, we hear the saying "You Complete Me!" It's this false idea that someone else in your life will complete you. It's as if to say that I am less when I am single, but now that I have that special one, they are the finishing touch to make me and my life complete and whole. Run as far away from thinking as you can! You don't NEED to be with someone. And in fact, them bringing their broken stuff over into your life will only complicate you, and NOT complete you. Instead, try shifting your thinking. Look at your partner and ask, "Do they compliment me?"

We all have needs in a Relationship. Legit ones like: Love Trust Security Respect ...and more But what happens when other things are masked as needs, but in turn, are really just high expectations? Things like: He needs to see me at least 3 times a week (dating) We need to hold hands while walking around She needs to call me at 12 noon every day He needs to say "I Love You" every night ...and SO MUCH MORE! Unmet Expectations Those high expectations, when unmet, are the start of a toxic relationship and become a way for each other to control your partner. Are you in a Toxic Relationship? If you feel you are in a toxic or controlling relationship, who really need to assess your relationship and whether or not you are willing to continue in these patterns.  

When is the Best Getting engaged, or married for that matter, by a certain age or number of years you've been in your relatiponship puts nothing put pressure on the both of you. Those numbers are simply arbitrary and should never be used as a time to get engaged. Instead, you must first identify what it looks like to live your ideal marriage.  Choose your own Adventure Some younger couples who have yet to figure out what their school or career path even looks like might experience more challenges along the way if they get married early, versus a couple who has it 'figured out'. If you are in a serious relationship, you have the luxury of deciding the level of struggles you both will experience. It's like a choose your own adventure. Married early=more struggles, married later=less struggles. Our Struggles We chose the road of getting married and going to college with 2 young kids. That was HARD! And if we could do it all over again and keep our family together, you betcha we would have wai

There's a good chance that you may know someone who is part of a blended family. They might be a step child, foster child, someone who is adopted and any other relationship that is not blood related. Or, you might be part of a blended family yourself. We want to drive the point home that it is SO important to maintain a healthy relationship with their Bio families...when possible. If you are the parent, it is your responsibility to foster healthy relationships.

As we go on in life, we get used to our family dynamics growing up. But what happens when we get married? How do we bring two different worlds together and function in a way that's best for our new family?

Don't mess up their Jam! 3 Things you can do to Win Their Respect when entering into a relationship when a child(ren) is already there. Don't take Dad's place Win the child's heart Respect the system and relationship 

In Relationships where there is a child involved and the Relationship can longer exist, how should you treat your Ex? Time and time again, typically we've seen Ex Wives or Ex Girlfriends make it a point to make the lives of their child's Father a living hell. They threaten to withhold their child from them, or bad mouth them in front of their child and "take them to the ringers" and as far as Child Support is concerned. But, there's a different way. One that allows the Ex to lead their relationship with their child. And there's so much freedom with it.

So what do you do now? How do you move forward now that life looks a bit different than what it used to look like? Especially after Mental Health issues have now entered into your life and it's out in the open? Some of the things we chat about in this Episode is: a) Learn to adjust with your partner b) It's ok to look after yourself

As far as the Roles and Responsibilities are concerned, who does what when Mental Health is involved? It's a big question to answer, and when answered correctly, could launch your relationships into a healthy state that's worth the hard discussions about it. There are 2 people involved, the person who is struggling and the one who is 'healthy'. However in some cases, like ours, both may struggle with Mental Health issues which creates more conversations to be had. The one very key and important distinction when it comes to Roles and Responsibilities is that the one who is'healthy' one is not qualified to provide the proper help and guidance. That is, of course, unless they are a trained professional. But that's an edge case situation. It is the Responsibility of the one who is struggling to seek the proper care and counseling, and it's the Role of the "healthy" one to provide whatever support is needed.

In talking about Mental Health in Marriages, there's a question you need to tackle when one of you, or both of you,  decides to finally admit that you are struggling mentally. And that question is this: "What does our NEW normal look like?" We chat about our journey in finding our new normal and how you can get better clarity around this hard question.   We hope you enjoy this episode!

Mental Health Problems are very real. And although neither of us are trained psychologists, we have been dealing with this long battle for many years now. Adjustments have needed to be made, capacities have been altered and it's wreaked havoc in our marriage...but we're managing it, successfully.  In this Episode, we chat about one of the main things we have learned to do to not only manage the Mental Health struggles but also to live with it and keep our marriage strong and connected. 

It's way too easy to keep things hidden in the closet. Some even choose to hide them behind closed doors or even swept under the rug. That way you never have to deal with them right? Besides, it'll probably just go away over time, no one will notice and it's too hard to talk about them anyways. It's probably easier if we just leave them alone. Wrong! You only really have 2 options: Ignore the hard stuff at all costs and hope they all go away Deal with them early on and build a great foundation from there   Regardless which option you choose, it will be painful, hurtful and extremely difficult. The difference is, do you want it to stick around for the long haul, or simply take your hits and push through them as soon as you can?

When you first plan to get married, kids are usually not the first thing you think about or even discuss. There's the actual wedding planning itself, perhaps traveling the world comes into the conversation, of course there are careers and when all that is done, kids come into the picture. And from our experience, the aspect of raising kids is one of the hardest yet most rewarding. There are SO many aspects of raising kids that one would wonder where to even begin. Things such as babies, diapers, toddlers, school, teenagers sports, jobs, activities and the list goes on. But what about the subject of dating?  When do you even start talking about that? Before they start dating or while they are dating? From our point of view and through our experience, we believe it's both.

There are so many things we can do alone. Play a game of Solitaire, go to the gym to workout, travel, and even bake a cake. But there’s certainly one thing you should never do solo, and that’s your relationship with your partner. Think of it. Every day, you both venture in this thing called life, and every day is one new step. The first time you go on a date The day you propose The moment you take your baby from the hospital …and the list is endless Now you can definitely learn as you go. Which is not a terrible way to go about it. Learning from your mistakes, adjusting as you go and of course, venturing into the new and experiencing it all. For years and years, many people have lived this way and have been successful at it. But, what if you didn’t have to do it this way? What if there was another option? A way that would allow you to navigate through life avoiding some of the hardships and pain alongside people who have gone through the same experiences. And those people would be in the form of either a Co

Constantly sitting on your relationship issues after you've dealt with them is a sure fire way of never moving forward. It's almost guaranteed that the life you desire will always stay within reach if you don't have a plan in place to get past your current situation. 3 Things To Plan For After you have discussed and gone through all the pain and heartache of betrayal, what next? What are the next steps you both should take? Here are 3 things that we have done that you may want to start with: Spend time, away if possible.  Plan for check-ins.  Avoid the word 'Divorce'.

Breaking someone's trust is painful. Not only that, they feel betrayed, unsafe and unsure of what you say or do next. They will second guess you for the next little while, or, in some cases, forever. But it doesn't have to be that way. When you begin the journey of Rebuilding Trust in your Relationship by first Deciding to Love your partner, the next step is to Forgive AND Be Forgiven. Forgiving someone is much like loving someone. It's a choice. And it's one that you must commit to making daily if you are determined to make your relationship better. When you choose to forgive your offender, you are not simply saying it's ok, instead, you are freeing yourself from holding a grudge against that person and releasing them from the offense. You choose to stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw, or mistake.