Pressing Pause

As overthinkers we spend a lot of time fast forwarding into the future and as soon as we’ve reached a goal or made it through a difficulty we’re straight onto thinking about what’s next. Constantly striving forward means that we’re missing out on the joy and contentment in our lives right now. In this episode we look at: How we move the goalposts so we’re always looking to what’s going to happen next What is destination addiction and hedonic adaptation What we can do to combat striving and feel more joy in the everyday How mindfulness, gratitude and savouring play a role Resources: Episode 3: The life-changing power of feeling grateful Episode 4: How to take micro mindful moments in your day Episode 7: How noticing the little things creates calm and joy Episode 9: The truth about controlling worry

We each have something in our lives that supports our mental or physical health and gives us the chance to be the best version of ourselves so we’re better able to take care of those around us too. You may not think of this habit or action as an act of self-care but you know that it would really impact you if it vanished from your daily life. In this episode we look at: What a non-negotiable is How it supports your wellbeing Why having non-negotiables isn’t selfish Examples of how you could already have non-negotiables in your life  Resources: Episode 11: How overthinkers can take care of themselves Episode 3: The life-changing power of feeling grateful Join my e-course, A Thankful Heart, to learn how to appreciate all aspects of your life, create your own gratitude habit, reduce your stress, build your resilience and enjoy life more

Saying ‘sorry’ can become a go-to word we use whenever we want to get someone’s attention or ask a question, when we have nothing to apologise for. Using sorry is about more than using one word instead of another, it’s about apologising for taking up space in the world. In this episode we look at: The different ways we use sorry when we’ve nothing to apologise for Why it matters that we say sorry when it’s unnecessary How you’re misrepresenting yourself by using sorry even when you know you’re not apologising What words to use instead of sorry in situations where no apology is needed

When someone is having a tough time and struggling with difficult emotions, we give them compassion. Yet we find it so hard to do the same for ourselves. By practising self-compassion we drop shame and criticism and give ourselves a break. In this episode we look at: What self-compassion is and its three key components Why it’s essential to give ourselves compassion and how it benefits us How to recognise when we need self-compassion and what to do Resources: Episode 11: How overthinkers can take care of themselves Kristin Neff’s book Self Compassion and her website selfcompassion.org Episode 17: How to get back to sleep when you wake up worrying With Exhale, a beginners’ guide to meditation for overthinkers, you’ll learn how to recognise when your thoughts are causing you to feel difficult emotions and unstick yourself from them so you can soothe your mind and nerves

Waking up in the early hours with worrisome thoughts racing around your mind is frustrating, scary and feels very lonely. Knowing you have to be up soon only adds to your stress. But you’re not alone in how you feel and there are ways you can help yourself back to sleep. In this episode we look at: Why getting frustrated with yourself and trying to empty your mind doesn’t help How being kind to yourself with self-compassionate phrases is a more effective calming technique Why it’s more helpful to acknowledge rather than ignore your thoughts An exercise you can do that will relax you to drift off back to sleep Resources: Episode 16: How to quiet your mind to fall asleep more quickly With Exhale, a beginners’ guide to meditation for overthinkers, you’ll learn how to calm your mind and soothe your nerves with a daily practice, and it includes a sleep meditation.

It’s frustrating when you’re worn out from a busy day but when you collapse into bed your mind won’t stop whirring long enough for you to go to sleep. The more you will yourself to sleep the more elusive it becomes, and the more stressed you get. In this episode we look at: Why sleep is a priority not a luxury What we can learn from children’s bedtime routines 6 ways to calm your overthinking mind before you get into bed Resources: The session I gave at The Mindful Living Show on the power of appreciating your own life is now available as a recording here. With Exhale, a beginners’ guide to meditation for overthinkers, you’ll learn how to calm your mind and soothe your nerves with a daily practice, and it includes a sleep meditation.

Whether you’re a morning person or not (I’m not) you can often feel frazzled and rushed from the start, which then sets the tone for the rest of the day. Without getting up any earlier or finding more time in your morning, you can begin your day on a more positive, nourishing and calm note. In this episode we look at: How to create positive feelings for yourself and others before you even get out of bed Incorporating supportive actions into everyday activities like getting washed and dressed Setting intentions, using affirmations and mantras to keep in mind how you want to feel during the day Resources Episode 4: How to take micro mindful moments in your day Episode 10: What to do when you feel overwhelmed Episode 11: How overthinkers can take care of themselves

There’s one little word that we use all the time and by doing so we make ourselves feel bad in so many ways. That word is ‘should’. You should do this, you should be that, you shouldn’t feel this. It’s laden with obligation, shame and an absence of choice, whether we use it in our self-talk or when someone uses the word in conversation with us. In this episode we look at: How we use ‘should’ in everyday life What messages we’re giving ourselves when we use it Why we think it can help us but it’s actually harming us What language we can replace ‘should’ with that gives us choice and autonomy

While it’s important to stay up to date and informed on what’s happening locally and across the globe, overthinkers can become overwhelmed by news reports and feel a mixture of guilt, upset and helplessness. In this episode we look at: The difference between being informed and overwhelmed How staying glued to the news doesn’t necessarily help you or those involved in the reports The positive action you can take motivated by the news to feel less helpless What you can do to reduce your overthinking and upset when you feel overwhelmed by news reports  Resources: Episode 6: How to disrupt the overthinking cycle Episode 8: Calm your mind and open your eyes with a mindful walk Learning to ground yourself in the present and recognise when you’re getting caught up in your whirling thoughts allows you to untangle yourself and calm your nerves, take a look at my online course, Exhale, for how you can learn to meditate in just a few minutes a day

Meditation isn’t about emptying your head, sitting cross-legged in silence or spending hours chanting, and your mind wandering means you’re doing it right, not wrong! If you get lost in a spiral of thoughts and what ifs, taking a few minutes a day to meditate can really help you. In this episode we look at: What the point is in meditating How overthinkers can benefit from it The science behind how meditation calms and soothes us Clearing up common confusions that are stopping you from meditating Resources: Exhale, a beginners’ guide to meditation for overthinkers, is a self-study online course available now. It provides step by step guidance to start you off meditating and create a sustainable meditation practice that works with your life.

There’s a lot of confusion over self-care – it’s about much more than bubble baths, it isn’t being selfish and it’s not about putting yourself first. Taking care of your needs as well as taking care of everyone else makes you better able to spend less time lost in raking over the past and what if-ing the future. In this episode we look at: What self-care is And what self-care is not Where you may already be practising self-care The benefits of practising self-care to you as an overthinker, and to those around you Resources: Episode 2: How to worry less about what others think of you Previous episodes featuring self-care actions: Episode 4: How to take micro mindful moments in your day Episode 8: Calm your mind and open your eyes with a mindful walk Episode 10: What to do when you feel overwhelmed

Overwhelm likes to take on different guises so it can get a firm hold on you without you even realising. It shows up as a lack of focus, an inability to know what to do next, as a lack of patience, as pessimism, lethargy and apathy along with plenty of other feelings that make you want to hide under the duvet. In this episode we look at: The sneaky signs that you’re in overwhelm What are the common causes What you can do to help yourself feel better How you can reduce its impact on you next time  Resources: Episode 8: Calm your mind and open your eyes with a mindful walk

Overthinkers often believe that if you can have everything in life planned out and organised, know what’s happening where, when, how and with whom, then you’ll be able to stop worrying. If only it was really true. Trying to keep control of everything doesn’t stop you worrying so it’s time we took a different approach. In this episode we look at: What wanting to be in total control looks like The role of What If How trying to keep control won’t make worrying disappear How to recognise when you’re in controlling mode What to do to loosen your controlling grip

There are times when thinking over a problem or formulating a plan while you’re walking works well and other times when you get stuck in overthinking, going over and over the same thoughts without getting anywhere. That’s when applying mindfulness while you’re in the great outdoors, whether you’re in a crowded city or a quiet forest, can calm your whirring mind, reduce your stress and open your eyes to the world around you. In this episode we look at: What is mindful walking How it can benefit you, not just when you’re overthinking My experience of how it made a difference in my life How to take a mindful walk Resources: Episode 6: How to break the rumination cycle Savour the Season: Step into Spring with Mindful Intention Ebook has lots of ideas and resources to maximise your enjoyment of Spring outdoors

When you think of what makes you feel content, what gives you bumps of joy in your daily life, more often than not it’s the little things rather than the big events. And why is that? It’s because we notice these so-called little things and we savour them. The benefits of savouring the ordinary stuff of life are far-reaching. In this episode we look at: What is savouring What are the benefits to our wellbeing The four strands of savouring Why money doesn’t help What we can do to increase our opportunities to savour  Resources: Books discussing savouring: Savouring by Fred Boyd Bryant, The How of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky, Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman Take photos of what you’re savouring in life and share on Instagram with #savouringhappiness, #savourtheseasonalshift, #flashesofdelight #petitejoys or #forahappymoment Get a copy of my ebook Savour the Season: Step into Spring with Mindful Intention to maximise your enjoyment of Spring and consider what you want to do and how you want to feel as

While you’re replaying the same thoughts over and over and over again you’re lost in your head ruminating and what if-ing and worrying and overthinking. It’s exhausting and stressful and it can feel really hard to break free of this overthinking vortex. But it is possible. Not by trying not to think but by directing your attention elsewhere. In this episode we look at: What is rumination How it feels to be stuck in overthinking and overworrying Why trying not to think doesn’t work How to disrupt the cycle of overthinking with one simple technique that you can do anywhere, any time

As we scroll through social media we can find ourselves making up stories about what we see in other people’s posts. This can lead us into the comparison trap and to feeling dissatisfied, irritated, tense, sad and question ourselves and how we live our lives. Being mindful of how you feel before you open the apps, and checking in with yourself while you scroll can help you to notice what impact social media is having on you. In this episode we look at: The kinds of stories we tell ourselves about other people’s social media posts How to recognise when you’re falling into comparison trap What to do to challenge the social media stories we tell ourselves How mindfulness can help us to create a healthier relationship with social media

There’s a lot of talk about mindfulness and with good reason. Mindfulness helps us to slow down our overthinking brains, to let go of rehashing what’s already happened or imagining what could or could not happen next. To just be here, in this moment, in what’s real in our lives right now without judging it or trying to change it. In this episode we look at: What mindfulness is What the benefits are of practising mindfulness How mindfulness reduces how stressed we feel and gets us out of worrying mode How to take a micro mindful moment How mindfulness can be integrated into our day rather than added to it Resources Books on mindfulness: Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn, Mindfulness by Mark Williams and Danny Penman Meditation apps: Mindfulness, Headspace, Calm, and Buddhify

Savouring the good stuff and making a point every day to appreciate the little things in life can have a real and powerful positive impact on your life. In this episode we look at: What being thankful, grateful and appreciative is and what it is not What gratitude practice is and how you can do it The benefits of regular gratitude practice as shown by positive psychology research How I’ve made thankfulness part of daily life and the difference it’s made to me Resources Books on gratitude: Gratitude Works! By Robert Emmons and The Gratitude Diaries by Janice Kaplan Write in a gratitude journal like these from the green gables or Kikki.K Gratitude apps: What’s Good: Daily Gratitude, Happijar Take photos of what you’re thankful for and share on Instagram with #savouringhappiness, #capturinggratitude, #thehappynew or #thisjoyfulmoment Join my e-course, A Thankful Heart, to learn how to appreciate all aspects of your life, create your own gratitude habit, reduce your stress, build your resilience and enjoy life

It’s a typical trait of the overthinker – worrying about what other people think of us. It’s exhausting and stressful giving so much time, energy and brainspace to thinking about how other people, from our family, friends and workmates to complete strangers on the street and on social media are judging us. In this episode we look at: how to challenge these thoughts why others don’t think about us as much as we think they do how to handle the idea that someone may not like us what to do when we feel ourselves worrying about other people judging us