Big Gay Nerds

Summer comes to our quiet, nameless little mesa, and as the heat rises so do the ambitions of its inhabitants. They begin to devise grand projects to secure more resources and better defend the few they already have. Results are, predictably, mixed. At the same time, outside threats begin to make themselves known... and some of them may already be inside.

It's that time of year when we reflect on how our ancestors faced hardships, like stinky water and the hippocabra, but overcame them to share the bounty of their harvests, like magnets and petrified wood. Wait, am I confusing our session of The Quiet Year with American history again? I must be, because I don't remember the pilgrims having YET ANOTHER SPECIAL GUEST STAR! We're thankful to Avery Alder for this game https://buriedwithoutceremony.com/the-quiet-year/ , and Aesop Rock for our intro/outro music https://soundcloud.com/rhymesayers/aesop-rock-the-blob .

Faced with a true challenge to their abilities as wizards and teachers--a Chosen One who would be better off chosen for a football draft or his dad's car dealership--the professors of Pigsmoke finally devise a plan of action: just do nothing and hope it sorts itself out. But even on the weekend, can these arcane academics hope to escape their duties? Find out in this thrilling conclusion to our first adventure with Pigsmoke!

It's time for the professors of Pigsmoke (or at least the ones we care about) to get a proper introduction to Chad Blackwood, the Dean's Chosen One. Can this seemingly average student live up to expectations? Well, it depends on what your expectations were, now doesn't it?

Here's a Halloween scare for you: acadeeemiaaa! Pigsmoke's professors may have a Dean-given task looming over their heads, but that doesn't mean they don't have everyday business to take care of. Albert has a frank discussion about stitching together dead bodies, Liam blows some minds (intentionally and otherwise), Simone gets pressured into striking a bargain, and Corvina combines doomsaying with dissing.

It's the start of a new year at Pigsmoke College, and four professors have been summoned to the Dean's office to assist in its enigmatic machinations. Could this be the start of a magical journey that will save the world and change it forever... or is it a misguided attempt at academic one-upmanship? Why can't it be both? Whatever the case, Professors Addams, Blake, Webb, and Solomon are just the underpaid educators for the job!

After a month away from the recording booth (just kidding we can't afford one) the Big Gay Nerds join forces with a new old friend to get theirs hands on Pigsmoke: a Roleplaying Game of Sorcerous Academia. You've seen them as jackass college students with supernatural powers, now see them as jackass college PROFESSORS with supernatural powers! Well, one of them isn't that supernatural, but I'm sure she'll make up for it in the jackass department. http://www.certain-death.com/pigsmoke/

Another chapter of Monsterhearts comes to a close. Bishop formally throws their hat in with Shady Business while the rest of Mater Dolorosa's "gifted" students have one more sleepover and ponder the state of their relationships. Meanwhile, the powers that be have a plan to put and end to all this drama... (We actually lost the last twenty minutes or so of Ian's recording, thus robbing us of some great pizza-based bits, but I think that it's been edited into something passable.)

Lines have been crossed, and while no one's looking back, no one's entirely sure what's ahead either. Bishop takes some advice from their big sister. Pennyworth decides who his real friends are. Mark gets a glimpse of the truth. Jessamine makes her big comeback.

Mark and Pennyworth go to the comic shop.

It's been said that you can't really know someone until you fight them; if that's true, then Jessamine, Mark, Pennyworth, and the mysterious helmed swordsperson who has been lurking campus after dark are about to become a lot more intimate. Bishop, meanwhile, finds inspiration in an unexpected place and starts down a path to somewhere literally and metaphorically dark.

September's here, so it's time to go back to school and catch up with all your old friends! What have the students at Mater Dolorosa College been up to? Well, Bishop's been doing the lion's share of work on a group project, Pennyworth has been struggling to juggle two social circles, Mark's been learning how much a relationship can change people, and Jessamine has been studying for a test that may come sooner than she expects. Oh, and me? I've been taking Sinister Innuendo 101 and I think it's really paying off.

I'm gonna put this in the front: if bugs freak you out this isn't going to be the episode for you, unless you're looking to get freaked out, in which case you're in luck! The party is so close to the lost bounty of the abandoned mines, but will they be able to comprehend, let alone survive, whatever inhabits the lower chambers? This episode also features a guest appearance by Sara's dogs, who are roughhousing in the background for the first ten minutes.

After delivering a humiliating defeat to the abandoned mine's first monster, the gang ventures deeper into progressively more unsettling rooms. The next on their list is full of fungus and skeletons, and you'll never guess what--oh, you guess that they'll be animate and aggressive? Well, uh, you might still be wrong about that! You'll never know unless you listen to this episode!

Feodora, Gull, Myra, and George are back and ready to solve the world's problems, provided that those problems can be solved by killing things underground. Luckily, it looks like they've stumbled onto yet another situation that fits the bill! But will they find the time to do their jobs in between just being complete jackasses? Read on with your ears!

The Resurrectionists stagger into the final step of their daring heist, half-dead (some moreso than others) and just really stressed the hell out. Will they escape with the Sunshard, their lives, and their dignity? And will one of the crew's really awkward romantic history come into play somehow? Given how I just worded that, the answer is probably yes!

Elevators. We all see them as we go about our day-to-day lives. Sometimes we even ride them when the stairwell would be too much of a hassle. Simple, safe, and convenient, right? Well today, the Resurrectionists learn what true peril is, in what I'm officially tentatively dubbing: THE GREAT ELEVATOR FIGHT! Note: Though this isn't technically our most violent episode, I'd say it gets a little more visceral than usual, so be warned.

The Resurrectionists are all mingled out and ready to put their plan into action! Granted, "steal the gem" isn't so much a PLAN as it is a GOAL, but they're good at improvisation. Listen to them sneak, drug, get-yelled-at-about-art, and choke their way past the mansion's defenses!

The campaign kicks off fast when the Resurrectionists' high-society friend points them towards the biggest, riskiest heist of their burgeoning careers: stealing a giant gem from the ruler of the city itself! To do it they'll have to... go undercover at a fancy party? Oh HELL YEAH, it's one of THOSE missions! But will they survive awkward small talk, or even worse, running into people they hate? Also: we all try some Voices, with questionable results.

In this extra-long episode, Saturn leads us into the steampunky, horrorish, post-fantasy-apocalypse city of Doskvol. There we meet four new friends, all of whom are fallen from grace in one way or another and ready to cash in on a dishonest night's work. Watch your step, it's dark as hell and someone left all these blades lying around. http://www.evilhat.com/home/blades-in-the-dark/ Intro and outro samples are, as usual, courtesy of Aesop Rock's The Blob: https://soundcloud.com/rhymesayers/aesop-rock-the-blob