Big Gay Nerds

Start up the music, it's time for the biggest space-captain fight since Kirk took on that lizard-man! River must survive an attempt on his life while he and Max grapple with an unexpectedly zealous foe--and the GURPS grappling rules. Will The Girls get there in time to help? And will this spell disaster for the Melchior's maiden voyage? Listen and learn! Content warning for light body horror, threat of gun violence, assassination attempt. Music is "Whistling Winds" by Peritune www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVjSLiLF0RY under the Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

The Melchior's officers keep looking for answers to the mysterious death, but the more information they unearth, the less sure they are of anything, including the victim's own identity! With a ticking clock hanging over them, the expedition itself could be in jeopardy--and might their own lives also be in danger? Content warning for discussion of imperialism, surveillance and espionage, autopsy, and possible body horror. Music is "Whistling Winds" by Peritune www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVjSLiLF0RY under the Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

GASP! There's been a murder upon the Melchior! Unless her blood just Did That somehow. But just in case it IS murder, we'd better lock down the ship and look for suspects! The officers scramble to unravel this shocking mystery; will all their technology and training be enough to keep the maiden voyage on schedule? Content warning for discussion of imperialism, surveillance, corpses, and blood. Music is "Whistling Winds" by Peritune www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVjSLiLF0RY under the Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

It's time to get our most ambitious campaign yet underway! In the wake of brutal oppression and bloody rebellion, a coalition of different species and cultures attempts to repurpose the tools of violence for discovery and diplomacy. One such tool, Captain River La Rosa, is being led to his first command under the Alliance's peacetime navy, and he's about to find that just being a former Hegemony soldier isn't enough to make him the oddest officer aboard. But the whole motley crew will soon have much more to worry about than first impressions... Content warning for discussion of imperialism, corpses, and blood. Music is "Whistling Winds" by Peritune https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVjSLiLF0RY under the Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Take a glimpse of the future's past. A fungal acolyte examines an alien specimen. A weary turncoat recounts a brutal war. A soldier of fortune leaves his fortune behind. A captive outlaw takes some time to reflect. An uplifted entertainer sets foot among the stars. They do not know it, but their fates are intertwined...

It's the finale of our first Kids on Bikes episode! The kids (sans bikes) literally descend once more into the strange conspiracy beneath Davis, risking their own hides for the good of their new weird little friend. Can they free Duende's "parent," and when they do, could some kind of complication somehow arise from freeing a giant tentacled memory-eating alien? Listen and find out! Content warning for underground facilities, tentacles, strangulation, accelerated time, and winged monsters. Intro and outro music from "Come Play with Me" and "Anxiety" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com/) License: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Having escaped the secret underground bunker with their new friend, the kids (sans bikes) need to come up with a plan for what to do next. Obviously Ryder's plan to jump the northern border and become itinerant highwaymen is GREAT, but we could at least use a Plan B. After splitting up for some side missions, the gang must break into somewhere even riskier: Ryder and Fiona's house. Will they get what they need without a confrontation with their increasingly mysterious mother? Is Duende more of an asset or a liability? What if Terry had got that knife after all, where would we be now? Content warning for discussion of memory loss, child endangerment and parental abuse, and faceless beings. Intro and outro music from "Come Play with Me" and "Anxiety" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com/) License: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Twist after twist! Our young heroes have discovered a strange series of hallways under the woods, of all places, and who do they find there but Ryder and Fiona's mother! Surely she'll have an explanation for all of this and we can trust her to be up-front about everything that's going on AND react calmly to a bunch of kids breaking into the secret base. I'm also sure that we won't encounter some manner of fucking Thing. Content warning for imprisonment, child endangerment and parental abuse, tentacles, and faceless beings. Intro and outro music from "Come Play with Me" and "Anxiety" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com/) License: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

The meddling kids of Davis, WA are hot on the trail of a mysterious winged creature that may or may not have a sinister power over memory! But will their trusty bicycles be enough to help them when they're drawn into the woods and unsure of their own minds? Also what if one of them goes over a tree root and wipes out? There's so much at stake, and things are only going to get stranger, right up to the CLIFFHANGER TWIST ENDING! Content warning for memory alteration, humanoid monsters, getting lost in the woods, and subterranean facilities. Intro and outro music from "Come Play with Me" and "Anxiety" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com/) License: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

It's time for a good old-fashioned autumnal street fair in Davis, Washington! While Shelly works a fortune-telling side hustle and Terry tries to sniff out a case for Knife Money, the Whitehurst sisters literally stumble into a seemingly mundane incident that will lead all four of them down an unexpected path... Surely there isn't anything mysterious or sinister happening in this quiet Pacific Northwest town? Also, stay tuned 'til the end for a preview of Issues, Elliot's upcoming Masks AP! Content warning for memory alteration and humanoid monsters. Intro and outro music from "Come Play with Me" and "Anxiety" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com/) License: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Issues theme is Hero by I Fight Dragons, used with permission off their album Sidequest: B-Sides and Rarities. Issues can be found here: https://open.spotify.com/show/5mMQpxH5haO0hPm89YUZdZ?si=4872c633a1174749

Back in the 90s, we were in a whole new tabletop campaign led by returning cast member Elliot! Genny, Elly, Sara, and Saturn are gearing up to play Kids on Bikes Second Edition, a game about strange goings-on in small-town America. This episode is mostly about designing the quirks of the specific small town we'll be playing in, and then working out our (possibly quirkier) cast of unattended minors. We end up with a former uranium-mining hub inhabited by two diametrically opposed sisters, a boy detective, and a "spacey" Southern gal. Hopefully none of them get eaten by monsters anytime soon but, you know, things happen. Content warning for discussion of cults, food poisoning, abandoned mineshafts and falling into them, family member death, genetic disease, and pet death. Kids on Bikes is published by Hunters Entertainment and can be purchased here: https://www.huntersentertainment.com/kidsonbikesrpg Music from "Come Play with Me" and "Anxiety" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com/) License: CC BY (http

For our three hundredth episode, we have almost three hours of intrigue and conflict both supernatural and interpersonal! There's almost too much to really summarize it, just rest assured that this really is one of our biggest, gayest, and nerdiest episodes yet. And this is coming from the person who ran MASKS, so the bar is pretty high. Content warning for character death, toxic gas, gun violence, explosives, sinking ship, paralyzation, surgical scars, cut throat, bodily control, rats, maybe some others this is a BIG episode and all these ninja are trying to kill each other. Music is "Cyber_Noir" by Peritune www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vtxrVyaHuc under the Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

As the clandestine cruise gets underway, the ninja of the Shadow War begin to clash, with tenuous alliances and deadly rivalries forming in instants. Blood will be drawn, secrets will be revealed, and the phrase "platonically cucked" will be uttered. Listen, things take a turn, I don't really know how to explain it without context, you'll just have to listen. Content warning for body disposal, toxic gas, gun violence, and surveillance. Music is "Cyber_Noir" by Peritune www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vtxrVyaHuc under the Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

We return to the Shadow War of modern Japan, where rival factions of ninja struggle for control of temporal and supernatural power. A symbol of both these things has fallen into the hands of an unscrupulous foreign businessman, and he wants to auction it to the highest bidder... on his personal cruise ship! Now, alongside countless criminals, mystics, and general-purpose freaks, our two familiar ninja rivals converge and cross paths with a third! That's right, Saturn's joining Genny and Jonix as Elly takes the helm once more! Set sail for INTRIGUE! Content warning for surveillance, references to stabbing and decapitation, and police. Music is "Cyber_Noir" by Peritune www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vtxrVyaHuc under the Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Our Masks campaign may have reached its conclusion, but the stories of our four young heroes have only just begun! For this episode we're squarely in Freeform Mode as we explore the immediate and long-term futures of our cast. What kind of hero will Pate become with her newfound powers? Will Luka be able to have some normality? Which ties will Juno cut, and which will she cherish? Who's going to stop Pipa from recruiting every quirky robot they meet for a workplace sitcom? Where will any of them live if their landlords aren't cool with cop-punching for some reason? And can you believe it's been FOUR YEARS since we started this game??? Content warning for housing eviction, piercing weapons, and discussion of parental death. Music by Perennial Sounds LLC

It's time for the final episode of Masks: a New Generation! At least for now. Just how big of a bang will it go out with? Will the New Wave become ascendant torch-bearers for superheroism or a bunch of vilified outlaws? What move will Agent Tan pull next? And what about that freaky robot? Forget all that, what the hell is a skrull? Listen on to find out, dear big gay nerds! Content warning for police and gun violence, stabbing, and melting humanoid figures. Music by Perennial Sounds LLC

The dust has barely begun to settle after the New Wave's averted implosion when their reaffirmed comradery is threatened by an outside force: AEGIS! Did you really expect this campaign to end without us picking another fight with the cops? In this thrilling throw-down of an episode, Pate flexes her timeskip development, Juno is a friend 'til the end, Pipa shows off yet another cool bike trick, and Luke crosses a point of no return. Content warning for threats of police and gun violence, helicopter near-crash, brief suicide reference. Music by Perennial Sounds LLC

Now I know what you're wondering: is the title referencing the Offspring song, or the Fall Out Boy song? The answer is both, really. Unfortunately that's all I can say about this episode without spoiling things, but if you guessed you were in for some PVP you were right! Content warning for discussion of parental death, death threats, suicidal language, and multiple personalities. Music by Perennial Sounds LLC

Well, things are looking pretty shaky over in Halcyon City. Juno is flickering on the edge of a meltdown and ready to go on the warpath, Pipa is struggling just to get back in the loop, Pate realizes just how many loose ends she has to tie, and Luke is... mostly okay, but confronting a lot about where his(?) principals have led him(?). But hey, don't worry, because Your New New Favorite Character is here to fill the Briar-shaped hole in your hearts. Content warning for discussion of parental death and vehicle crashes. Music by Perennial Sounds LLC

Hooboy, things sure are messy for our rookie heroes! Luke has blood(?) on his(?) hands for the first time, Pate has to deal with an overbearing patriarch she thought she'd left behind, Pipa is fighting for her life with her cyber-assassin sibling, and Juno... Juno's got a lot on her shoulders and there's about to be a LOT more. Listen on for one of the biggest twists in Masks! Content warning for sci-fi gun violence, fantastical dismemberment, paralyzing injury, building collapse, and discussion of parental death. Music by Perennial Sounds LLC