Editing Our Drinking And Our Lives

There will always be a holiday, a special event, anniversary, or celebration during the calendar year. It doesn't matter if it's December, April, July or any other month. Aidan talks about her recent holiday party that she hosted and Jolene talks about her first birthday without alcohol. When we shift our focus from the alcohol to the event, conversation, connection and activity it opens up a new realm of experience and possibility of truly being present in social situations. Both Aidan and Jolene have found that instead of feeling ostracized or questioned about not drinking, what actually happens is people pull them aside at parties to tell them they are rethinking their own drinking and they are considering cutting back as well. Social situations can sometimes feel uncomfortable, but that initial discomfort does pass. This episode ends with how Jolene and Aidan plan to stay connected and present during this holiday season. They share some fun drink options and a reminder that fun enjoyment can and does happ

Jolene talks about the role GABA plays in anxiety and how she used lemon balm, passion flower, holy basil, inositol, and L-theanine in the early days of quitting drinking to help regulate her own anxiety. She talks about how yoga can boost GABA levels as well. Aidan mentions the difference between anxiety and stress and Kelly McGonigal's TED Talk on How To Make Stress Your Friend. Through self-awareness and self-care practices like quality sleep and a good diet, Aidan finds these help buffer some of the stress she has been going through, along with reaching out, sharing and connecting with others even if it's hard or messy. Jolene discusses the benefits she received from somatic experiencing therapy and referenced Peter Levine's work, books, and online videos. There is no right or wrong, good or bad way to set up self-care routines for anxiety. The important thing to think about is what feeds and nourishes you right now? It took Aidan and Jolene time to get to this place (not using alcohol to medicate their a

Aidan and Jolene talk about their early anxiety stories. Aidan didn't think of herself as an anxious kid, but Jolene did identify as an anxious kid early on and had panic attacks in Junior High. They both resonate with being high achievers who got stuck in a perfectionistic anxious loop in their minds.  This episode goes deeper into exposing and giving voice to gray area of drinking as a way to regulate and medicate anxiety. With the help of a therapist, Aidan began to realize how much anxiety was actually underneath her drinking. Both Jolene and Aidan realized that drinking actually increased their anxiety. Aidan reads her "I see you" post from Instagram and Jolene reads her Instagram post about her upcoming TEDx talk and how it relates to this subject as well.  This discussion will be continued on Episode 18 - Anxiety Part Two.   SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will he

If you're asking the question, it's probably something you'll want to pay attention to. Sometimes just asking the internal question is more important than getting an external answer from others. Also, if you're questioning your drinking it might be prudent to stop for a short or long period and see if there is something to be gained? How much is too much for you? How frequently are you drinking? These can be interesting questions to explore but equally important is the question of how alcohol actually impacts you? Do you have shame and self-loathing around your drinking? Is it getting in the way of your joy and existence? It can be admittedly hard to know how you feel about these questions when you're still drinking. Two other questions you might want to ask are, "What would your life be like without alcohol?" and "How long does the positive impact of drinking last for you?"  There is a spectrum that this podcast will address is the area of drinking that is still a choice. It can be very empowering to be able

Aidan and Jolene talk about how they view their own introvert and extrovert personalities. How they feel about being alone vs with others as a way to recharge and regenerate. Aidan mentions the book Quiet: The Power Of Introverts In A World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. Aidan also shares this quote from Blaise Pascal: "All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone."  When we take alcohol out of the equation what really happens on the introvert/extrovert scale? For some people, it's harder to be alone at home and not reach for a drink while others might find it harder to be out with others and not drink. But according to Susan Cain, historically the greatest minds are introverts and we need to celebrate introversion more in a world that glorifies extroversion. Jolene mentions the book, The Last Best Cure: My Quest To Awaken The Healing Parts Of My Brain and Get Back My Body, My Joy, and My Life by Donna Jackson Nakazawa. This is the book that explains the Orchid/D

The decision to count or not count alcohol-free days is different for everyone. Jolene and Aidan discuss why they both like counting days and which apps they use. Aidan uses NOMO and Jolene used Good Habits and Quit That. Counting days can also be a way to mark and celebrate milestones as well as a way to connect with others within alcohol-free communities. Counting can also help keep the momentum going in the early days. There can be positive aspects to counting down the days (for a 30-90 day alcohol-free challenge) or in counting up the days to track the insights, learning, and changes that happen over time. Wheather you choose to count or not, it's ultimately about 'making the days count' and how we live each day. If counting feels too restrictive try reframing your focus onto a "quest" or personal challenges like a travel quest, exercise, hobby challenge or personal goal. SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Pl

This episode explores the havoc that alcohol plays on sleep and dreams. Alcohol can contribute to hormone, blood sugar and cortisol imbalances which disrupts sleep patterns in the middle of the night. Jolene mentions the Chinese Medicine theory of why we might be waking up at 3 am as well.  It can take time (a couple weeks or months) to get sleep patterns back on track after removing alcohol from your life, so be patient. Aidan and Jolene talk about how to assess and evaluate sleep with tracking devices like a Fitbit  Sleep rebuilds neurotransmitters - GABA and serotonin and B6 and zinc might be helpful for dream recall. Plus, Jolene and Aidan both talk about the troubling aspect of drinking dreams and how real and visceral those dreams feel. Aidan shares a quote, “sleep is the best meditation” from the Dalai Lama. Ultimately sleep can be a really powerful healer when we find our ideal number of sleep hours and personal sleep routine. Jolene shares some coaching tips for better sleep — The Sleep With Me app,

Aidan and Jolene talk about why they committed to not drinking when they could get away with continuing to drink. Aidan wrote about her long-term commitment/decision in her blog post, Saying I Do To A Life Without Alcohol. But let's be honest, when gray area drinkers don't have to stop but choose to stop, it can leave the door slightly open to return to drinking at some point. On the flip side, there can be a sense of hope and relief when the firm decision to take alcohol out of your life is made. Jolene shares two of her biggest fears around the forever question and both Aidan and Jolene believe they are better equipped to handle hard situations simply because alcohol is not part of their life anymore. They discuss how it helps to put the forever question out of mind and focus instead on experimenting with a period of time —30, 90 days, six months or a year to see for yourself how you feel as a result of not drinking. The accumulation of non-drinking experiences is how you began to prove to yourself that you

Does parenthood or lack of parenthood impact our drinking? Jolene and Aidan discuss how their personal desires to have children intersected with their own drinking. Whether it's the loss of the dream of having a child, the loss of an identity, or the increase of stress and anxiety when becoming a mother, alcohol plays a central role for many women in the kids/no kids equation. One of Aidan's primary motivators to quit drinking was the modeling she wanted to set for her three daughters. Jolene found she was able to deal with her grief from not having kids when she actually stopped drinking.    SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry

Jolene and Aidan talk about how they engage in their social lives without drinking. Both admit they are more of introverts than they once thought. They share some of the phrases they have ready if someone offers them a drink such as, “no thank you”, “I don’t drink anymore”, "I'm good for now" or "I’m on a cleanse." Aidan mentions the importance of being non-judgmental toward drinkers and balancing that with the uncomfortable feelings of being around people who are very inebriated. Ultimately, Aidan and Jolene agree that everyone must decide for themselves what works best when being around people who drink and they acknowledge that we all often overestimate how uncomfortable it will be to be in a situation where others are drinking. Aidan talks about a vacation she went on with other couples when she wasn’t drinking and notes that she still had a lot of fun. Both Jolene and Aidan recommend going to weddings, vacations and other events as a non-drinker to get the experience under your belt. The anticipation is

The evening hours are often a hard time to stick to the resolve of not drinking alcohol. Especially after a full, stressful day, you might say, “Why am I being so hard on myself? I can have a treat, I can have one drink.” You might be coming down from a hard day or you start to question why you’re being so strict or rigid with not drinking. Aidan has learned that these moments do pass and the feelings do change. Two of Jolene’s favorite phrases are “feeling aren’t facts” and “this too shall pass”. Aidan likes to imagine the next day and play the tape forward, picturing how she would feel if she drank. Jolene explains some to the neuroscience behind using visualization and imagery to overcome an f-it moment. Aidan shares a letter from a listener who needed a pep talk before going out for the night and Aidan’s suggestion was to focus on the bigger desire beyond drinking. Jolene shares how the dopamine rebalancing might make us feel like drinking when the brain is actually just healing. It takes time. There are

Aidan looks back on her drinking days and talks about the surprisingly positive mental, emotional, existential aspects of her hangovers. Jolene shares the negative physical effects of her hangovers and how they ultimately motivated her to stop drinking. Jolene talks about the histamine, blood sugar response and explains how, during a hangover, our bodies are simply trying to regulate and bring things back into physical balance, and how we then beat ourselves up emotionally. Also, brain chemicals GABA (helps us feel less anxious) and serotonin (helps us feel less depressed) get depleted from too much alcohol. Aidan talks about how, while hungover, she felt a lot of emotional shame, regret, guilt, sadness and knew spending time hungover meant she was losing time from her precious life. Both Jolene and Aidan talk about a couple ‘hangover supplements’ they used to take. Aidan reveals how she would open up to her husband and feel so vulnerable in the morning after drinking. This was a time when she would be more e

Jolene and Aidan debrief what it feels like to have the first six episodes of their podcast out into the world. They talk about the vulnerability hangover of sharing their stories along with the overwhelmingly positive response they’ve received from thousands of listeners who identify with the gray area of drinking. Jolene talks about hitting the sharp edges with her anxiety when they first released the podcast and she shares two examples of a medical professional who brushed her off and told her “she didn’t have a problem with alcohol” whereas another health care professional said she “would have recommended treatment for Jolene.” They talk about the strength that comes from vulnerability even though it’s uncomfortable and often hard, but ultimately very liberating. Jolene shares a coaching tip on how to reduce sugar cravings by eating regularly. Aidan shares a book she’s reading called, Material Girl, Mystical World: The Now Age Guide to a High-Vibe Life by Ruby Warrington. She also shares a quote by Howard

Aidan and Jolene talk about what life without alcohol has been like so far for them. They share what the best parts of the dry life have been as well as acknowledge the tougher parts. This episode is an honest, if surface, peek into life without alcohol. They both share how giving up alcohol has reduced their anxiety and they discuss the new level of presence and resilience they've found. Some of the more difficult pieces have been feeling lonely at times and pulling away from certain groups of people. They end this episode on a positive note about making the bold choice to stop drinking while this choice was still a possibility and they acknowledge that, contrary to popular wisdom, there is no requirement of "crash and burn" to stop drinking and we can make the choice to stop at any point.   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life

Jolene talks about dancing back and forth between drinking and not drinking for many years and about how she reached her quiet tipping point on December 14, 2014. It wasn't planned and she didn't think of this as her last day of drinking, but after drinking on that Saturday and feeling sick until the next Tuesday, she knew in her bones she would not drink again. The Early Exit is a liberating choice because it goes beyond not drinking alcohol. Jolene has come to know and understand this is also about nervous system regulation and the ability to sit with the discomfort in life. Jolene shares how she has gone on to study somatic yoga and shares some of the exciting things she is learning about neuroplasticity and our ability to rewire our brains and feel better.   SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.

Aidan talks about her "dance" between drinking and not drinking. She recently heard Elizabeth Vargas, author of Between Breaths: A Memoir of Panic and Addiction, speak at the She Recovers Conference. Vargas said, "when you start to drink to numb, that's something you need to pay attention to." Aidan agrees with that statement and shares her story of finally deciding to stop drinking for good. She mentions the pain of a miscarriage, how she used wine to self-medicate after the birth of her third daughter and then after the death of her father. Aidan reads her first Year Without Wine blog post, originally published in 2012, called Wine Is My Weakness. With the help of a therapist, she came to realize she may not have a capital "P" problem, but that she had a lower case "p" problem with alcohol and anxiety. She talks about the liberation she found in giving up alcohol and how this gray area of drinking is a universal, under-explored topic.   SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Lives' o

Jolene gives a glimpse of what her drinking looked like in the beginning. She didn't grow up around a lot of drinking and rarely drank in high school or college, but there was a pivotal point in her late 20's when things changed. She began using wine to self-medicate the heartbreak of a lost relationship. Jolene talks about how her drinking continued and escalated into her 30's and how she began hiding her hangovers more than her drinking. Even though Jolene was never a big volume drinker, her frequent drinking was becoming a problem. She shares how she started to weigh the cost/benefit of drinking and ultimately decided that drinking wasn't working for her anymore.   SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!     CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/

Aidan gives a glimpse of what her drinking looked like in the beginning. She talks about coming from a family where alcohol is often celebrated and acknowledges that she has many good memories associated with drinking. She talks about getting accepted into Yale and receiving a celebratory bottle of champagne from her parents, but confesses that over the years, things began to change. An important turning point in her drinking narrative was an ill-fated Christmas party she hosted soon after her father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Shame and self-loathing began to accompany her drinking even though she was "holding it together" on the surface. Anxiety led to unconscious and then more conscious self-medication. Aidan went through several years of alternating between drinking and not drinking, years which led to her eventual decision to quit for good in July 2016.   SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Google Play. Please consider rati

Aidan and Jolene introduce themselves and talk about their decision to make an Early Exit from the drinking life. They also discuss whom they hope to reach with their podcast about the gray area of drinking and explore how they both used alcohol as a way to self-medicate their anxiety, the power of story and the ability to edit our personal story lines. Aidan shares a quote from Walt Whitman about curiosity versus judgment and Jolene shares a coaching tip about the neuroscience and benefits of finding like-minded communities.    SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram