Wife Of An Alcoholic: Recovery | Loving An Alcoholic | Codependency| Michelle Lisa Anderson

Have you ever questioned whether to stay in your relationship or leave? It’s a big question. And that’s frankly an understatement. It’s a life-changing, wildly impactful decision of a lifetime.  And listen, we never do judgment in this community. So whether you decide to stay or leave, that’s up to you.  Today’s episode though, it’s about a whisper. A whisper within us that we may hear, or we may not be able to yet. The voice of addiction in our own heads is loud, ugly, demanding, and full of lies. It covers up our own voice. Our whisper within is clouded by the loud ugliness of our partner’s addiction.  Learn how to uncover your whisper, and more importantly, listen to it.  Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/listen-to-your-whisper/ Join the sisterhood: https://loveoveraddiction.com/ Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Everything in our life is a season. Some seasons are longer than others, and some may be harder than others.  No matter what ‘season’ we may be in, we learn tips and tools to help us along the way.  When I was married to a good man that suffered from addiction, that was one of the hardest seasons of my life. I learned all kinds of tips and tools to handle the disease, and some of these, I still use to this day.  Today I’d love to share with you one simple tool that you can use every single day.  I used this tool when I was married to my ex-husband, and I started using it again recently when we moved into our new (99-year-old) house, and it started falling apart.  Find more: https://loveoveraddiction.com/simple-tool/ Join the sisterhood: https://loveoveraddiction.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Here’s the loving truth: when you have children living in this situation, with their parent (or step-parent) suffering from addiction, you’ve got work to do.  You must be the strong and sober parent. You’ve got to protect them, teach them how to be safe, and educate them. You must talk to them about addiction, no matter how awkward it may feel. And I totally understand having fears around it, I did too.  But you can learn how to talk to them about it, and I have tips for you today.  Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/talk-to-your-children-about-addiction/  Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/ Join the sisterhood: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

I believe in dream boards (or vision boards). And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, just google it.  They sound incredibly hokey. They sound woo-woo, they sound a little like, "What?" But I stand by them. In my life, I’ve always had at least one vision board. And I’ve got crazy stories about these vision boards throughout my life, which I share in the Love Over Addiction program.  So today is all about your future. Why it’s important to dream, envision, imagine, and how to actually do that. It’s actually really hard for a lot of people, and it was at first for me too.  Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/create-a-vision/  Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/ Join the sisterhood: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

Stick with me here, because I know self-care is a buzzword right now. I’m not about buzzwords, but I am all about you learning the tools you need to handle this disease.  When we love someone suffering from addiction, our lives become chaotic and out of control. That’s just the way addiction works.   So on today’s episode, we’ll dive deep into your self-care, and how to maintain it during a crisis. It’s an important skill, and worth having these tools in your back pocket for the next time there’s an especially chaotic time. Because addiction gets crazy, and our lives can get completely out of control.  These are helpful tips for everyday life and during a crisis.  Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/self-care-during-a-crisis/ Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/ Join the sisterhood: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

When we love someone suffering from addiction, we will eventually become completely isolated if we’re not already. That’s what addiction wants, and frankly, what it needs to thrive.  As you know, we believe that we’re not powerless over this disease. There are things you can do to take your power back from addiction, and today is all about finding connection.  Today I share tips on what kind of friends to look for (and what kind of people you want to avoid), so that you can create friendships and share your story (what’s really going on), with that special person, or two (three at most).  Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/how-to-choose-friends/ Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/ Join the sisterhood: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

Sometimes when we love someone suffering from addiction we can get into the mindset that it’s all on us. Everything falls on our shoulders, and we’re responsible for it all.  And let’s be honest: many, many times, that is the case. We’re not in a ‘normal’ relationship. Our partners are suffering from addiction, which means that our lives are different.  And here’s the deal: it can be really daunting to think about making all these changes and shifts to make a better life, so let’s break it down into bite-sized pieces. Those are the best, aren’t they? Pretzel bites? Anyone?  Okay, moving on: this week I have one tip for you. It’s super simple, broken down with examples and stories so you can take it and implement it into your life this week. Enjoy! Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/create-your-team-of-experts/ Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/ Join the sisterhood: https://loveoveraddiction.com/love-over-addiction/

When we love someone suffering from addiction, we do our very best to help them. We try everything we can think of, read, or find on Google. We try it all. With the most pure and best intentions. We want our loved ones to get sober, and stay sober for good, right? The reality is that all that energy we’re putting into our loved ones, we need to be putting into ourselves. Because addiction has hurt us too, and we deserve recovery. We deserve energy. We deserve grace. Today you’ll learn about 12 behaviors you need to stop right now, today. And some of them may be harder than others, but you know that we’re honest in this community. I share loving truths with you to help your recovery and your healing, even when they may be hard to hear. Find more: https://loveoveraddiction.com/stop-enabling-behaviors/ Join the sisterhood: https://loveoveraddiction.com/ Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

In today’s culture it seems like we’re expected to be a certain way. Especially as women. We’re expected to balance life, work, children, self-care, all of it. Every day. With balance, grace, and ease. Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s BS. It’s not easy, especially when we love someone suffering from addiction. So today’s episode is a little different taste. It’s real, raw, and unscripted. It’s giving ourselves permission to be hot-messes and take the path of least resistance, just to get by. It’s a boost of encouragement that you’re doing just as great as every other woman out there, including me. Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/finding-balance/ Connect here: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/ Join the sisterhood here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

When we love someone suffering from addiction, we can start to become isolated. We may feel so wrapped up in our loved one’s issues, that we start to lose our joy, our friendships, and the things that really matter to us. When I was married to a good man that suffered from addiction I was lonely. So. Lonely. I remember longing for real friendship, and even being jealous of ‘friends’ I saw on social media posting pictures about all their girls’ trips. I let addiction steal my joy, including my closest friends. I was so wrapped up in my ex-husband’s issues, that I lost everything else that mattered to me. And this is all too common. Addiction wants us to feel lonely and powerless. In today’s episode I share a personal story about finding (and losing) friends, and most importantly, what you can do today if you’re feeling lonely. Find more: https://loveoveraddiction.com/when-addiction-steals-your-friendships/ Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/ Find your sisterhood: https://loveover

We’ve been doing a series all about types of aggression and tactics used. Because here’s the truth: When we love someone suffering from addiction “normal” advice doesn’t cut it for us. We need something more specific, because loving someone suffering from addiction is NOT a normal relationship. We’ve talked about how to handle your anger before, but what about theirs? Do you know how to respond when they’re getting nasty and mean? Are you sure they’re actually angry, or are they using this as a tactic to manipulate you? These are big questions that you may not know the answer to right now, and that’s okay. Tune in to hear real life examples so you can start to recognize these patterns in your own relationship. Find more details here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/what-to-do-when-your-partner-is-mad-at-you/ Connect personally here: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/ And join your sisterhood here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

We’re a community full of women that love someone suffering from addiction. And here’s the reality: our lives and relationships are different because of that. Have you ever had an evening like this? Let’s play this out: your partner comes home 4 hours later than expected. When you ask them where they were, they say something like, “I had to stay late at work tonight.” And here’s the reality: they did have to stay late at work, but only an extra half an hour. The other 3.5 hours they were at the bar, or hanging out at a “friend’s” house getting high. They left out a very critical detail about their evening. That, sister, is a form of lying: not sharing the whole truth, or being intentionally vague. And you know. You know the truth. You’re a smart woman, and chances are, you’ve been here before. And it can be so frustrating. Enraging. In today’s episode I’m sharing real tools on how to handle these situations. There’s no two ways about it: this is hard. But we’re here for you. You’re not alone. Find more detail

We must remember that although we love good people, they do suffer from a disease. And the disease of addiction is not nice. It’s mean. It’s ugly. And it does whatever it takes to thrive. Here’s the loving truth: if they don’t seek recovery, it gets worse over time. So, as the ones that love these people suffering, we have work to do. We need to prepare ourselves to deal with their behaviors, both good and bad. Today we dive deep into manipulation and a different tactic they may use, and of course, tips and tools for you to deal with it all. It’s a lot. We totally get that. Listen today to find help, answers, encouragement, understanding, and love. Find more details here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/are-you-being-manipulated-by-addiction/ Find out more about me and our community here: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/ And join the sisterhood here: http://loveoveraddiction.com/

When we love someone suffering from addiction, the truth is that only we know how bad things really are. And when we start to seek a team of professionals, be it therapists, mediators, lawyers, or whomever, we must find the right fit. Because we love someone suffering from addiction, we have developed a strong intuition, and I encourage you to use that when you’re finding your professional team. I fired my first lawyer. She didn’t get it. She wasn’t respectful, and she didn’t listen. When you listen today you’ll hear my story of why I fired her, and when (or if) you should fire your professional help and look for someone else. Find more details here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/when-experts-dont-have-personal-experience/  Connect with me personally on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/ Join our community and find your sisterhood: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

Last week we talked about covert aggression when you love someone suffering from addiction. So if you missed that episode, please go back and have a listen. This week we’re building on that - so what are tactics our loved ones might use when they’re being covertly aggressive? Let me ask you this: Does your partner ever play dumb? Forget things that have happened? Dispute fine details? Act oblivious? All of the above? Sing it sister. Because I hear you. I totally understand. My ex-husband used to do the same crap. And many women in our community experience it as well. And let me be clear: this is a tactic used by your partner and their addiction. It makes us feel crazy. So how do we navigate? How do we deal? Are we supposed to sit back and let it slide? Find the answers you’re looking for today: https://loveoveraddiction.com/how-to-react-when-theyre-playing-innocent/ Get a glimpse behind the scenes of LOA + Michelle’s personal life: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/ Find out more about the Love Ov

Here’s the loving truth: because we love a good person suffering from addiction, we just don’t have the luxury of a “normal” relationship. Addiction is sneaky, and will do whatever it has to do to thrive, including hurting us, the ones that are closest and care the most. Here’s the thing though: we’re not powerless. We’re not martyrs. We’re not victims of this very hard situation. We’re not. I refuse to believe that for one second. Today you’ll find power, you’ll find the knowledge and tools that you need to know when you can trust, and when you shouldn’t. And you’ll learn other things to look out for. Find more details here:https://loveoveraddiction.com/when-passive-aggression-is-really-covert-aggression/ Find your community, answers, stories, and more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/ And lastly, connect on IG for fun. Get a glimpse behind the scenes of LOA + Michelle’s personal life: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

This week we’re re-releasing the very first ever episode. It’s an oldie, but a goodie. And here’s the truth: when you love someone suffering from addiction, these tips are always helpful, no matter how ‘new’ or ‘old’ they are. In this episode Michelle shares helpful tips about why you still love them, and why that’s totally okay. Even a well meaning friend or family member may not get it. They just may not understand. And that’s okay too. Because you have this community here. And it’s full of women that actually do understand. We get it, because we’re either there in the same situation right now, or we were at one time in our life. And it’s not easy. So please, please rely on this community when you need an understanding ear and encouraging words. Find more details here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/why-you-love-an-alcoholic-or-substance-abuser/ You’ll see other free resources, helpful tips, and more about the community here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

When we love someone suffering from addiction, arguments and fights are part of our normal life, much more so than a relationship without addiction. So how does it feel when your partner walks into the room, and you know they’re there to pick a fight? Maybe you can tell by their body language, their tone, the subject matter, or maybe they’re already starting to yell. No matter the circumstance, you may become super anxious, fearful, or mad. You may want to just run and hide. Or maybe you’re ready to fight, and you want to put on your ‘boxing gloves’ and ‘step into the ring’. But here’s the truth: most all of us want to avoid that argument or fight. We don’t want to engage, and we certainly don’t want to be hurt by our partner’s piercing words. There are ways to avoid arguments, and one true ‘secret’ you can apply to every conversation with your loved one. Listen to find out what it is + hear a story about how I recently reacted to my ex-husband trying to pick a fight with me. Find more notes + resources about

In this community, we believe in being honest. So let’s say it: loving someone suffering from addiction is hard. Your life may feel completely chaotic and out of control at times, but other times, you get a glimpse of your dreams when your partner is sober. It may feel like a crazy roller coaster ride. Think about this: addiction came into your life for a reason. You chose your partner for a reason. Loving someone with addiction can be our greatest opportunity to grow and become the women we’re destined to be. You can read more details here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/addiction-can-be-your-greatest-opportunity/ And find your community, free resources, and more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

As mothers, we all try to do the very best for our children. But our ‘job’ as mothers changes significantly when we love someone suffering from addiction, especially if that someone is the child’s parent. Knowing how to protect your children in this situation is imperative to raising healthy children who are mentally and emotionally stable. And let me share a loving truth: You have to learn the tools to know how to raise children who don’t later become addicts themselves. It’s your job. And I know you can do it. Learn these tools and more from today’s episode: https://loveoveraddiction.com/child-psychologist-expert-interview