Wife Of An Alcoholic: Recovery | Loving An Alcoholic | Codependency| Michelle Lisa Anderson

I was watching my husband play hockey recently, and it got me thinking about the offense and defense we play in our lives when we love someone suffering from addiction. (As you know, I can relate just about anything to addiction).  Are you in control of your life and moving forward with your goals (playing offense)? Or are you trying to prevent your greatest fears from happening (playing defense)? Tune in to hear this week's episode where I discuss moving forward with your own healing and staying in your lane vs. staying stuck and preventing that from happening. Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/offense-defense/ Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com

As a codependent, setting (and sticking to) boundaries can sometimes be challenging. And look, no judgment at all. Boundaries are tricky and take lots of practice.  But they're also so important to have when you love someone suffering from addiction. Because here's the thing: without boundaries, the morals and values you entered the relationship with become compromised over time. Tune in to this week's episode, where I discuss a favorite book of mine (along with some helpful stories) about setting and sticking to boundaries. And even if you're not codependent, this will still be super helpful. Find more here:  https://loveoveraddiction.com/boundaries-for-codependents/  Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com

Being in a relationship with someone suffering from addiction takes courage and can be downright hard sometimes. Am I right? There might be days filled with tears, anger, and frustration. Or maybe you make some mistakes (and that's completely normal). But here's the thing: courage is being willing to fall apart, brush yourself off, and then keep trying. It's realizing that your tears and failures are not a measurement of YOU. It is knowing that making mistakes is part of being human, and giving yourself lots of grace is so important. In this week's episode, I share a personal story about my son finding his courage and the importance of picking yourself back up and trying again. You've got this! Find more here:  https://loveoveraddiction.com/courage/  Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com

Have you ever wanted to speak up and ask for what you needed but changed your mind? (I'm raising my hand right now!). Or, maybe what you need isn't a realistic ask from your loved one that suffers from addiction.  Here's the thing: staying silent about what you need and not asking for it can lead to resentment. And if your partner isn't able to give it to you, then maybe you can give it yourself.  In this week's episode, I'll cover how to ask for what you need (and want) in your life, and what to do if that's not possible with your loved one.  Find more here:  https://loveoveraddiction.com/ask-for-what-you-need/ Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com

I realized something surprising recently: despite thinking I had conquered my codependency, that's actually not the case. I still have some growth to do. Can you relate? In this week's episode, we're going to dive into some questions together about codependency. I'll also share some personal life experiences regarding this.   Even if you think you've moved past some of these behaviors, I invite you to park here for a bit. Because here's the thing: discovering who you are - especially when you love someone suffering from addiction - is so important.  Find more here:  https://loveoveraddiction.com/codependency-questions/ Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com

Sex and intimacy are usually an important part of a relationship, right? But when your partner suffers from addiction, those things can sometimes be complicated. In this week's episode, I talk about sex (yep, we're going there) and the challenges you may be facing with your loved one and their addiction. We also discuss being true to yourself and the importance of setting boundaries with sex and intimacy. Remember, part of getting yourself healthy is figuring out who to trust with your vulnerability. You deserve to be loved and cherished. Find more here:  https://loveoveraddiction.com/sex/ Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com

There have probably been times when your loved one drank too much at a family event. Or made a scene in front of others when they were under the influence of drugs or alcohol. As a result, you might have felt embarrassed by their actions and behaviors. Can you relate? Here's the thing: feeling embarrassed by other people's actions or behaviors (even your own) can be a sign of codependency. In this week's episode, I share a personal story about my own codependency and how mastering this skill in all areas of your life can be so freeing. https://loveoveraddiction.com/embarrassed/ 

If you're codependent, you may find yourself concentrating on your loved one's addiction (sometimes more than they are). Or relying on them to validate your feelings and help you feel better. And look, no judgment at all.  But you may be surprised to learn how some of your own hurt, pain, and struggles are similar to what your partner experiences with their addiction. In this week's episode, I discuss the traits you might have in common with your partner and how it relates to each person's recovery. Just a loving reminder: you can get better and move forward with your growth regardless of whether they choose to get healthy. Your loved one's sobriety has nothing to do with your happiness. Find more here:  https://loveoveraddiction.com/codependent-common-traits/ Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com

Loving someone with addiction can sometimes make you feel like you're on a roller coaster ride, can't it? One moment you're feeling joyful and hopeful, only to have it turn to fear and anger pretty quickly. And listen, no judgment at all. We've been there and completely understand. But the good news is that you can make it feel less and less like a roller coaster ride when dealing with your loved one. Tune in to this week's episode to hear how to lessen the ups and downs of this sometimes crazy ride, as well as to make sure you're moving forward in your own recovery. Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/roller-coaster/  Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com   

Maybe you don't have any proof (yet), but your intuition is kicking in and something feels "off" with your loved one suffering from addiction. Does this sound familiar? So how do you approach a tough conversation? In this week's episode, I'll talk about how to communicate with your partner in these situations and what to actually say to them. I also share a very personal story that I haven't yet told when my ex-husband tested positive for drugs.  Remember, this is your greatest opportunity to learn some hard and difficult lessons. Keep learning, keep trying, and give yourself lots of grace. You're doing a great job. Find more here:  http://loveoveraddiction.com/my-husband-tested-positive/  Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com

When you love someone suffering from addiction, it can be hard to let things go sometimes. Maybe you found empty bottles after they said they'd stop drinking. Or they came home late again (or not at all). You probably want to get to the bottom of what they did (and why). But how can you effectively express what you're feeling when they've been drinking or using? You want to feel heard and recognized, right? In this week's episode, I share a tool on how to talk to your loved one when you're feeling worried, frustrated, or hurt. Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/best-time-to-talk/  Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com 

You've probably experienced your loved one's unpredictable behavior sometimes, right? Maybe you've gone back and forth on whether you should stay or leave your relationship because of their addiction. Regardless, being as prepared as possible - especially at a moment's notice - can be super helpful (particularly if you have dependents). In this week's episode, I discuss the importance of having a Plan B, and some tips to help you get started. Remember: while you can’t control your partner, you do get to decide your own choices. Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/plan-b/  Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com 

When your partner suffers from addiction, it can be hard to tell if they're lying or being manipulative. Here's the thing: addiction knows exactly what to say to you at that moment. This is especially true if they're making promises about wanting to get sober. You want to believe them, but you've heard those words over and over again. Does that sound familiar? In this week’s episode, we discuss how to get to a place of believing what your partner says. (Hint: it's a simple lesson my dad taught me growing up). Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/are-they-being-manipulative/  Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com 

Dealing with in-laws and extended family can be tricky when your partner suffers from addiction. Can you relate? Maybe there have been times when they've blamed you for their child's addiction. Or you've wondered how much you should share with them regarding your loved one's addiction. But here’s the thing: It’s not your job to convince their family (or yours) of anything. In this week's episode, we talk about the role of in-laws, extended family, and 4 tips on how to deal with them. I also share my own experience dealing with my mother-in-law's denial. Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/in-laws/  Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com 

When you have a loved one that suffers from addiction, it can be easy to feel empty sometimes. You may try to fill that void by looking for approval from others (including your partner) rather than yourself. Can you relate? So, how can you stop turning towards the outside to quit feeling empty? In this week's episode, we discuss ways to rely on yourself to feel full rather than waiting for people around you to do it. Just a loving reminder: you get to create these moments and dictate what your life looks like. It’s time to recognize that you have what it takes to get your power back from all of the people and places that you’ve given it to. Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/emptiness  Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com 

This special episode is a follow-up to yesterday's episode. If you found your heart a little prickled by the loving truths Michelle gave, take a listen to this bonus release as she shares a personal story about her ex-husband, her children, and her own 'prickled heart' moment.

If your loved one suffers from addiction, you've probably spent a lot of energy trying to help them get better. And if you have kids, figuring out how to help them handle their parent's addiction can be tough. Does this sound familiar? If so, no judgment at all. I was in the same situation when I was married to a good man struggling with addiction. But it's time to take an inventory of where your energy is going. In today's episode, you'll hear how to put that energy back towards you (and your kids) instead of your loved one’s addiction. Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/talking-to-your-kids-about-addiction/  Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com 

More than likely, you've had your feelings hurt from time to time. Regardless if it was because of your loved one that suffers from addiction, or a friend or family member, it hurts. But remember, you get to choose who to be vulnerable with, and who will treat you with love and care. In today's episode, you’ll hear a very relevant story involving my dad, ways to cope with hurt feelings, and how to choose whose opinions matter. You'll be able to come out of this stronger and with more confidence, knowing exactly who you are. Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/coping-with-hurt-feelings/  Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com 

We know weekends, especially holiday weekends, may be a more difficult time for you and your loved one who suffers from addiction. They might be inclined to drink more than usual or lose control. But remember, you're not powerless over this disease. You get to choose how you react to their actions and behaviors. By making a few preparations ahead of time, you'll be able to enjoy your weekend the way you want. In today's episode, you'll hear three helpful tools for hard weekends (or any time). Use the next several days to prepare and put your plans in place. You've got this! We're here cheering you on. Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/surviving-hard-weekends/ Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/ 

In today’s episode, I'm sharing a story (with permission) - and a lesson - from a big conversation I had recently with my daughter about verbal abuse. When you’re in a relationship with someone who suffers from addiction, it’s possible you may have experienced some form of verbal abuse in your relationship.  There’s no need to feel embarrassed. I’ve been there, too.  You can move through this, honor yourself, and choose to set your boundaries. Listen to hear me talk about the lessons my daughter learned and how they relate to your relationship. Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/are-you-being-verbally-abused/  Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/